April 14, 2021
I’ve been working on losing weight for years and it’s just steadily rising. Last year, I had a baby and now I’m at my highest weight ever. I hate my body and I cry when I look in the mirror. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I just don’t know how to actually start losing weight.
I’m definitely motivated. I just don’t have the energy and I really struggle with the eating part. It’s like I have no self-control at all when it comes to eating. I like soda and fast food way too much. I’ll make some progress and lose a little weight and then fall back ten steps and gain it all back and then some. It’s been years like this. I don’t know how to get out of this rut and make some real change. I just want to be happy in my body again. How could I get out of this rut, get some self-control with eating and actually start losing the weight?
Ready To Break The Cycle
I just want to say that I feel you. I don’t have kids yet so I haven’t been in your exact situation, but I know what it’s like to feel stuck and resent my body, and how it feels to get stuck repeating the same unhealthy cycle. How it feels to dread looking in a mirror. How it feels to want change so badly, but your body seems to sabotage every effort you make.
The most important thing here is to work on your relationship with your body.
I know it seems a little backwards to find reasons to love your body BEFORE you can change it, but this is what finally got me out of my own rut with nutrition and fitness. I had been cycling through hating myself, working out too much, eating too little, then giving up and gaining weight back, and repeat. FOR YEARS. Until I finally prioritized my relationship with my body.
So let’s start there! You just had a new baby, which is SO EXCITING! Women don’t get enough credit for all of the things our bodies go through when we, you know… CREATE LIFE. The changes your body went through may not be easy to swallow, but it’s proof that your body is incredible. It can do hard things and it can change. But most importantly, it’s supposed to be different.
Next up, sleep and stress.
It feels kind of silly to ask how those two things are going when you have a new baby, but it brings up two points:
- It’s harder to lose weight when you’re not sleeping enough and when you’re stressed.
- What you’re experiencing is NORMAL.
Of course you’re exhausted, emotionally and physically. New moms are seriously superheroes, working around the clock while their bodies recover. But here’s the thing. Hating your body is only adding more stress, and that’s hard on your body. It wears you out, affects your mood, and makes you depend on food for comfort. So before you do a diet and exercise overhaul, how can you manage your stress? Maybe it’s gentle exercise (walking, yoga, etc.), or journaling, reading every day, talking to a friend more often, or just getting some sunshine outside! I know it’s hard to carve time out for yourself, but it’s necessary. Even just a few minutes a day! Start doing little things for yourself, and I think you’ll feel a weight lift.
And then comes food and nutrition.
I know this is the part of the answer you really want, but here’s why it comes last. Everything else, your relationship with yourself, getting enough rest, and managing stress, are all the FOUNDATION. You can’t expect your body to change if you’re not giving it what it needs. It will absolutely sabotage you and resist change. You’re feeling tired and have cravings for a reason. If the foundation isn’t solid, nothing you build will stand.
Of course how you eat and exercise will help you feel even better. So again, prioritize a little time for yourself to get some movement in. Take the time to find something you actually enjoy, because that is what will stick! If you need something planned out for you, follow along with my Monthly Workout Calendars. And for food, it’s all about setting yourself up for success. Keep healthy food within reach, ready to eat with minimal effort. If you need help, check out the 90 Day Journey Meal Plan. Even if you’re not ready to follow along 100%, it’s full of super healthy, EASY recipes that will help you get started.
And finally, set appropriate goals.
Instead of saying “I want to workout 6 days a week, stop eating out completely, and lose 30 pounds,” break it up into small, non-weight goals. Like exercising 15 minutes per day. Once you achieve that, build it up a little. Or, a goal to only eat out twice per week or even just choose a salad as your side when you do. Meal prepping one meal a week is another good one. Think small, achievable goals that don’t take a ton of energy but build into big changes. And remember, no journey is linear. Expect setbacks and prepare for how to handle them. Basically, just keep going!
You CAN and you WILL get out of this rut. Hopefully, these tips help you tackle what your body needs so you can get back to loving it!
PS – If you have a burning question you want to ask me, leave your questions below! I may answer it in an upcoming Dear Cassey post!