Dear Cassey: How do I love my body while trying to lose weight?

Dear Cassey,

How do I learn to love my body when I’m trying to change it? I want to lose weight but I want to grow an appreciation for my body in the meantime. ❤️

Learning To Love All Of Me

Dear Learning to Love,

I love this question so much, for a few reasons. First, I love that you understand that you CAN love your body while also wanting to change it. Second, I love that you want to love your body every step of the way – not just the end result. And finally, I love that we’re talking about this. Because changing yourself and loving yourself go hand-in-hand.

So how do you do that if your goal is to lose weight? I have some ideas for what worked for me, but there’s one thing you should know first – loving yourself won’t always come easily, and your journey doesn’t end when you reach your weight loss goal! It’s a commitment to yourself. So with that in mind, here are the things that helped me!

Set non-weight goals too. Things like sleep 8 hours every night, or drink X amount of water every day, do 10 pushups without modifying to your knees, etc.

Choose goals within reach. Kinda the same idea as above. Just remember to keep your goals simple! For example, don’t set a goal to run 5 miles a day if you’re not a runner. Start with a 10,000 per day step goal. Starting small leaves you room to grow and keeps you motivated. Staying realistic protects you from disappointment. Think building blocks!

Remember the scale doesn’t tell the whole story. Please PLEASE don’t weigh yourself every day. Your weight will fluctuate no matter what you do, and it’s hard to love yourself through the process if you’re obsessing over that number. Track your progress in other ways – photos, measurements, how your clothes fit, how you FEEL – and just weigh yourself occasionally (or not at all!)

Treat every day as a fresh start. Whatever happened yesterday, happened. Beating yourself up because you skipped your workout or ate something outside of your plan is totally pointless. Thinking this way makes it really hard to love yourself. Instead of feeling guilty, treating yourself like you failed, etc., just move on. It’s a new day, and you’re human. It’s all about the big picture, right! So keep going.

Show yourself some love. I know it sounds silly, but you need to talk to yourself. BRAG on yourself. Start by writing down one thing you love about yourself every morning and set the tone for the day. And remember, it can be ANYTHING. You can love that you’re doing great at school or work or that you know how to make KILLER pancakes! These are all the amazing things about you that you need to acknowledge and remember. It’s important to get comfortable with this so you can transform that negative self-talk into a positive mindset. It takes practice, but mindset is everything!

Don’t let comparison steal your joy. Eyes ahead. This is YOUR journey. It won’t be like anyone else’s, so don’t gauge your success on what someone else is doing.

And most importantly, enjoy the process! Working on yourself is an accomplishment, whether it’s physical or mental. I’m so proud of you!

PS – If you have a burning question you want to ask me, leave your questions below! I may answer it in an upcoming Dear Cassey post!

21 thoughts on “Dear Cassey: How do I love my body while trying to lose weight?”

There are 21 comments posted by our users.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Holly says:

    “Don’t let comparison steal your joy. Eyes ahead. This is YOUR journey. It won’t be like anyone else’s, so don’t gauge your success on what someone else is doing.” I think I needed to read this. I am on the older end of your followers and my metabolism has definitely slowed down over 40 and I’m not going on a starvation diet for 5 lbs. That said, it is frustrating when you see your younger version of yourself being able to lose weight quickly. I have leaned into strength and flexibility gains to not beat myself up over weight taking longer. I also realize that I’m not gaining weight as quickly by exercising. So this part of the message was nice to read.

  2. MJ says:

    Thank you so much for this! Im going on a trip for my birthday in a few weeks and I want to lose a few pounds before going. This “wanting to lose weight for the summer” thing has been the bane of my existence for a long time and really gets me away from the core of who I am. Im so much more than my looks. I know it. Everyone else does too, but I sometimes I still get caught up in these negative thought patterns around my appearance and it makes me want to just run to the plastic surgery table. Hearing the tips in this article bring me back to reality and gives me the confidence to continue to embrace being me at every moment, heavier or lighter. Thanks for sharing. Im definitely adding the one thing I like about me tip to my morning routine. Its powerful!

  3. Nat says:

    Hi Cassey, i think you are fab but planks are killing me. My elbows are actually raw and starting to scar 😂 can you please recommend a thick mat for wooden floors, i do some circuit training with caroline pearce on fiton too so something to suit both types of workouts i would be very grateful for your advice. My body is sore and im sleeping like a baby this week. Thank you for being you…and i adore your full body workout with bands ❤

  4. Mia says:

    Dear Cassey,
    I’m pretty new to this whole exercise thing. I’ve just started following a few of your videos and creating my own playlist with them, videos of exercise for specific days and all that. I’m not actually a hundred percent sure what I want to ask as there is a lot I want to know, so I guess I’ll go with the first one. How do you start feeling like you’re exercising for yourself? I started to do this as I wanted to lose weight as in my head i believe my partner and friends were embarrassed to be seen with me as I’m quite large. But I’m trying to swap that mindset around and do this for me as I have heard the effects of exercise are good for mental health and I would like to change that. How can I start keeping a healthier mindset while working out so that I stay motivated?

    Someone who has no clue what I’m doing ^^

  5. Tanya Mishra says:

    Dear Cassey,
    I am just a normal 16 year old teenager, who is trying to strike a balance between schoolwork, personal commitments and my fitness goals. However, is it really necessary to always be that scale ⚖ all alone, with absolutely no support from your surroundings?

    With love,
    Wanting to regain my honestly true self❤

  6. WantstostopBingeing says:

    Dear Cassey,

    I started working out with you last spring during the quarantine. Since then, I have been on a Glow Up Journey, by working out, letting go of toxic mindsets and learning to enjoy movement. Ever since I did the Beginners Calendar, I have found out that when it comes to a healthy lifestyle, working out is actually THE SUPER DUPER FUN part (growing up chubby and clumsy in the P.E class made me biased towards all kind of sports, but thx God I outgrew that mindset). Since I’ve started my journey I learned that my biggest problem is, in fact, binge eating. The sweet thooth I’ve been blessed (haha) with proved itself to be my krypotonite. I usually do a pretty good job at eating good, noutritios food (meals inbuded with fresh veggies and friut and lean protein), but the moment I get near chocolate or candy bars or whatnot… I forget everything and binge on them until it’s all gone and forgotten. I am fully aware of the fact that this is one of the absolute least healthy habits one could possibly have so my question is… how can I enjoy my occasional sweet treat without going on a sugar splurge? Right now… I can see how I can blow off literal weeks of hard work and sweat in just a few days of non-stop bingeing. I just wish I knew how to have a healthy relationship with processed sugar.
    Wants To Stop Bingeing

    1. blogilates says:

      Thank you for your question!!! Keep an eye out in the coming weeks 🙂

  7. Lily Pena says:

    Dear Cassey,
    I am a 14 year old girl who struggles with body dysmorphia. I had been working out consistently and losing the weight. I had finally started to learn how to love myself and my body. But then, I went through a bad breakup. I went from not eating enough to eating way to much and I currently weigh more than I ever have before. I hate my body. I can’t get motivated to work out. I don’t know what to do. I want to lose about 25 pounds.
    Heartbroken and Confused

  8. Lynn maurillo says:

    I followed your 1000 ab challenge and completed it but still was too weak to correctly complete today’s seated ab workout. I was surprised that it was as hard as it was for me. I’m trying so hard to get stronger and I felt so discouraged today . I have been working out with you for a year consistently and you have been such a lovely and positive role model. Thank you for that! Any suggestions as to how to get a stronger core? Thank you! Ps.. I’m also very careful and consistent with a healthy diet

  9. Audri G. says:

    Dear Cassey, I have been trying to lose weight, and get overall healthier so I can be who I want to be for my career/long term goals/ just to be who I see in my minds eye. And my sister is also losing weight through a doctor guided thing, wherein she is losing weight very quickly. Everyone in my family struggles with weight and if they do lose it they have trouble keeping it off. I have just really started my journey within the last few months but I keep rollarcoastering with mg diet and exercise my mom, who works in the medical field, has suggested that I go to a clinic sort of thing with a doctor that specializes in weight loss and a dietictian (or nutritionist I dont know the xorrect term) I personally am on the fence with this as I have just begun my journey but I also want to lose my weight within the next year or two and am unsure if i can without help. Any advice on what to do?

    Sincerely Dont know what to do.

  10. Ava says:

    Dear Cassey,
    My best friend thinks that a guy won’t like her back unless she loses weight. I’ve tried to tell her in the best way i can that she is beautiful just the way she is, and that someone with love her just the way she is but she doesn’t truly believe it. What can I do to help her? -Concerned friend

  11. Theodreamer says:

    Dear Cassey,
    You are the reason why I started excerxising and thank you for that! You helped me to underestand that everyone has their own pace, and goals. You are such an inspiration to me!!!
    Watching your videos have helped me so many times!! And most important you have made me smile !
    I want you to know , that there are many girls in my country struggling because of body shaming problems. I have lost weight and I am trying to find a balance after all this effort. During this journey I have realized that balance is such a crucial thing! To be honest the most difficult thing to face, is perfection. Losing weight is refreshing. It made me gain self- confidence . But we can be maintained as teenage girls?
    What we can do to find balance ?
    How we can love our imperfections
    I would love to read about your personal thoughts and also for your personal experiences!! Furthermore, I truly love your video about the lost of period. I have recently faced those kind of peoblems. I have made some progress and I am so happy about it!!
    Thank you for everything Cassey and I am waiting some health food ideas about teenage girls💜
    Greetings from beautiful Greece
    PS. It will be an honor to contant with you on instagram! I LOVE your stories!!!❤❤

  12. Mikayla says:

    Dear Cassey,
    I’ve been working on losing weight for years and it’s just steadily rising. Last year, I had a baby and now I’m at my highest weight ever. I hate my body and I cry when I look in the mirror. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I just don’t know how to actually start losing the weight. I’m definitely motivated. I just don’t have the energy and I really struggle with the eating part. It’s like I have no self control at all when it comes to eating. I like soda and fast food way too much. I’ll make some progress and lose a little weight and then fall back ten steps and gain it all back and then some. It’s been years like this. I don’t know how to get out of this rut and make some real change. I just want to be happy in my body again. How could I get out of this rut, get some self control with eating and actually start losing the weight?

    1. blogilates says:

      Sending you so much love!!!!! Keep an eye out, I’ll answer this soon 🙂

  13. Veronica says:

    I have a question. I have tried so many times to make exercise a routine and failed just as many times. I can sometimes stay consistent for days, weeks or even a couple months, but eventually I end up back to a schedule of not exercising. I’ve tried all kinds of different exercise, exercising with friends, etc. I always stop exercising for one reason or another.

  14. Lauren says:

    Very true, it is great to dream big while still appreciating what you’ve got because everything we have is a blessing and a gift from God. I I enjoyed reading your blog you made some amazing points.

  15. Oliwia says:

    Dear Cassey,
    I’m started exercising with you, at the beginnig of this year, and I fell in love with it. But in mid-February, when I was doing squats, lunges etc. I felt pain in my knees. When I stopped, the pain stopped too. I’m 14, and I’m not first to go to the doctor. I don’t know what to do, becouse my workouts doesn’t bring me joy, like in the beginning.
    Love, sad person

    1. Malin Helene says:

      Hii Oliwia! Sounds like you might have overworked your knees, by too many repetitions/workouts at once or too suddenly. Your body needs rest inbetween workouts, variation in activities and make sure you do the exercises correctly. For example if you twist your knees incorrectly or don’t warm up properly. Do you have any mentors in your life that you can ask for advice or resources on this? (Ex: PE/gym teacher, coach if you’re in a sports club, school nurse, parents, older siblings?). And a general advice is to do the type of exercise/activities that you enjoy! Spending time outdoors in nature and on walks in addition to regular workout sessions is awesome too. Hope my answer was helpful to you, good luck! (I thought I’d offer my perspective since I’m a Martial Arts coach and have been training since I was quite young).

    2. Fellow sad person :) says:

      Hi Oliwia,
      I am 24 and I’ve had issues with my knees since I was 14 too. It’s super important to prioritise focusing on your form, especially when doing squats and lunges to make sure you are not putting unnecessary strain on your knees. I would definitely encourage you go do more research on how to perform these exercises safely and also look into low impact workouts that are knee friendly so you can still enjoy getting to move your body 🙂

  16. Leah says:

    Dear Cassey,
    I began my workout journey back in April last year, and I was working out quite consistently till December. I think I was motivated by my desire to reach a certain weight, but now that I did, I realise I’m not as motivated anymore 🙁
    I KNOW working out truly does lift my mood, and it gives me soo many other benefits, but since December I’ve been taking WEEKS off working out and then deciding to ‘restart’ but that sudden motivation only lasts a week or two and I’m not really able to make working out a habit. Also not exercising frequently also has a negative effect on my diet, and I’m now slowly starting to regain all that weight I lost.
    I am not sure what to do right now, I will hopefully do just a 30 min workout today and we’ll see how it goes from there. But do you have any advice for me??
    Feeling Confused