When Little Girls get called “Fat”
When Little Girls get called “Fat”
Photo by Shanea
This image strikes me hard. As I little girl, I was chubby, I was made fun of (having my last name didn’t help either), and I do remember turning my fingers into little scissors and wishing I could cut off my fat.
Honestly, I didn’t even know what fat was or that anything was “wrong” with me until the other kids told me so. Some days I was really terrified of going to school. I tried to distract it all by just studying harder.
It wasn’t until 7th grade when I started to get taller/skinnier and when I moved to a new school that the bullying stopped.
This notion that “thinner is better” and that “fat is bad” gets ingrained in kids’ head from an early age…whether it’s subliminally from media or just hearing it from other family members complaining about their bodies. So it is HARD to accept your body when everyone tells you not to. Body dissatisfaction begins to take over your life and you become obsessed with changing it. And you know what? Some girls won’t know how to. That’s when the dangerous habits begin.
“Over 80 percent of 10-year-old girls are afraid of being fat. By middle school, 40-70 percent of girls are dissatisfied with two or more parts of their body, and body satisfaction hits rock bottom between the ages of 12 and 15.” (NYC.gov)
So how do I like my body now that I’m a fitness instructor?
There are days when I love it and days when I hate it just like any other girl. Social media comments don’t make it any easier, but seriously if you make stupid remarks and your profile is private and you have no followers, just stop it.
I know that at the end of the day, I am more than just my physical appearance. Seriously. My body holds my talents, my dreams, and my drive. It doesn’t define me. So don’t let it define you either. Let’s teach our little girls and little boys this.
They don’t need to know that anything is wrong with their body, because there isn’t. They just need to know that they should smile, work hard, and reach for their wildest dreams, whatever it may be.
The change starts with this generation, now.
Love,
Cassey
PS: This post was DELETED off Instagram after I posted it in the morning. I am soooo infuriated that Instagram and the reporters of the photo thought it was child pornography! LIKE SERIOUSLY!?? Read the caption for once. We had such good, real, emotional conversation happening in the comments. And to think that all those so-called “fitness” accounts publishing nearly pornographic butt shots and underboob are not being reported? Unfair. That is why I am reposting this on my blog where no one can take down my post except for me. As I said on Instagram, I will not be silenced.
PPS: Thank you to my friends Drew and Lynn Manning from fit2fat2fit.com for sparking this emotional conversation during lunch yesterday!
107 thoughts on “When Little Girls get called “Fat””
There are 107 comments posted by our users.
i wish i got to read this like 33 years ago. now i am 41, was diagnosed with borderline p.d. when i was 17, eventhough i was thinner at that time. became bulimic for many years until 2003. now, my life in total mess, i still cannot accept myself. thanks to all my childhood ‘friends’ for those hurtful comments. sorry, it is still hard for me to wish them well, even now.
I’m 11 and every day I hate my body wondering if I can get skinnier I look up how to get skinny but it never works. I used to be skinny when I was eight and I could contort but now my bum is big thighs and belly, I get comment on it and I hate it!!! I always wish I can look like and do when I was eight but I can’t and no matter how many times I try I can never change back or accept my body.
I haven’t accepted my body yet. I’m ~30 lbs overweight and 11. I really need help but I just look like an underaged pregnant girl. I want to feel confident, and even my brother and dad called Me a fatty…. My brother asked if he could call me Fatty McDonalds Patricia (fatty mcpatty) I want to cry but I can’t. They’ll say im overreacting . pls tell me what to do.
Hey, Im 12 and I think everyday about wanting to lose weight. I also have an older brother who is going to one of the best boarding schools in the country next year and his max squat weight is 310 lbs. Compared to him I feel useless and fat. I don’t think you’re overreacting. Peoples words can hurt especially coming from someone you care about. That’s why I want to start eating healthy and working out together. We could keep each other accountable and it would make us feel like we are not alone. I know it is hard and I feel the same way, but you can make a change. Reply if you’re interested.
in 12 to and i know how u feel and my crush calls me fat a and ugly and i just wanna go crazy and i cant loose weight so do u wanna be like my internet buddy or somthing
On the other hand, teasing will exist not just for being fat, but for wearing glasses or braces, writing with left hand, stuttering and all kinds of things you can think of. Two of these were a cause for teasing me. I honestly see no difference between being hurt by being called fat or “leftie”, “stutter” or “four-eyes”. While I understand you focus on body image, I do think too much focus is given to cause of bullying and teasing than to the bullying and teasing itself.
Cassey you are amazing. When I was smaller many people teased me too. I felt really bad and used to cry a lot. But seeing your videos made me realise how beautiful I actually am. I now do your workouts and am very happy that I did. Thank you Cassey.
I’m seeing this two years too late, but I’m glad I saw it. Not only did this picture immediately bring tears to my eyes, it made me yelp, “no!”. Because I know what it’s like to be in that girl’s position. A lot of us have felt the same way: looking down at a picture and then at our own bodies and hating what we see. As a kid, I didn’t care much. I got teased, I got bullied, but I had my books and friends and I was blissfully unaware of society and the negative pressure. In middle school, I realized I wasn’t thin like all my friends at this new school. I wasn’t athletic even though I had been playing basketball- and I only played because I was tall. I hated that I couldn’t share clothes with my friends and felt embarrassed changing in the bathroom. My Google history became filled with searches like “how to lose weight fast” and “how to look pretty”. In highschool, it only got worse when boys joined in the bullying. I thought no one would ever like an overweight girl. And my faulty logic stated that only likeable people were worth it, so what was the point of my having friends or being here? The fact that my school had a strict dress code didn’t help. Clothing manufacturers did not make skirts for tall girls meant to cover the knees. I was constantly being sent home for my skirts being too short and my shirts being too tight. I couldn’t help it, but it made me think there was something wrong with me, that I wasn’t normal and somehow, I had to change that. Junior year, I became so obsessed with how I looked and how my clothes fit that I began working out for an hour every day after school. I would skip breakfast, pack a granola bar or apple for a snack, a Greek yogurt for lunch, and celery for a pre-sports practice snack. I was resolved to “be skinny”. So I was horrified when I gained weight. Over the summer and the fall of senior year, I tried to starve myself and eat only enough so people wouldn’t notice. When I started falling asleep in class, shivering constantly, and snapping at my friends, I wanted to stop. I couldn’t take it. A friend sent me your video about your journey and metabolic disruption, and I realized that I had fallen into a similar (albeit less drastic) abyss. It would take time and perseverance to climb out, but it was possible. Now, I’m in college and the pressure to be thin and liked by everyone is heavier than ever before. But I find myself laughing, not caring, happy that I have friends who check up on me with texts like “have you seen Cassey’s new video?” and “ooh try this Cheap Clean Eats recipe”. Recovery is gradual, but little progress is better than no progress. So yes, I’m seeing this post two years late, but I’m glad I saw it today. Maybe in another two years, someone in a similar situation to mine will read this and be encouraged.
I love your strength! you will not be silenced.
Excellent post Cassey! Words hurt more than abuse and leave deeper scars. Shame on Instagram for deleting this post. It deserves to be shared:-))
When I was a child, my grandmother would call me fat, especially that I have a big butt and thighs, which I still have, but it’s just genetics and I am working on that.. My mom would argue with her, but she even said that I can’t have dinner, because I’m such a fat-ass. I used to do gymnastics and I was not fat at all, even more, I was underweight, however I am highly sensitive person and when someone close to me calls me fat every day (even makes jokes from that,) it hurts a lot. It still does, even if I am 22 and everything is behind me anyway, I am living a happy life, learning stuff I love, doing work I love and living healthy life. This was especially hurtful because I am 4’11 and I was struggling with that till only in university I found out I am absolutely normal (seriously). I can’t stand when someone points out on me or says even the smallest stuff about me or my body, 100% it is just a joke, but anyway. It rarely happens, but when it does, I want to become a mole, dig into the ground and never come back. I have so much to learn in this life, self-acceptance and ability not to take everything so seriously are some of the things.
I’ll the truth.. I never bullied about something like that but when I became 13 years I started have body issues and I lost 20 pounds in 2 months and then I started having health issues like ‘ my period stopped ‘ and I did all this stuff just because every girl in my school had boyfriends and I thought that I because fatter than them this was the reason I didn’t have a boyfriend.. I mean this is not what I am chasing for.. I just want to achieve my goals …But why nobody wants me.. I am 15 and I still have this problem.. Please if anybody have this problem… Helppp!!
Hi! I’m really sorry to hear that. I just wanted to say that there is nothing wrong with you or your body, we are manipulated by the media and society into thinking that we need to look a certain way to be considered “hot” or desirable. That is not the case and setting unacheivable standards for yourself is very unhealthy. Instead, focus on taking care of your body in healthy ways!
Loving yourself no matter what is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself, trust me you do not need validation from a boy, you are extraordinary on your own.
And please, please if you are having health issues (like your period stopping) talk to someone close to you and see a doctor before it gets serious. Know that you are not alone, there are people out there that can help you, it’s very common for girls your age to be insecure about their body (sadly).
All the love and good luck! 🙂
I was called chubby or big boned as a child and it was awful.. The most traumatic part was when I went to my pediatrician because I was sick, and she lifted up my shirt in front of my dad, grabbed my forming breasts and said this is fat! Look at this fat! It caused me to become slightly anorexic. I despise that woman
I’ve been struggling with body image ever since I can remember. I’ve never been naturally uber-thin, I’m a little chubby in places and it’s taken me years to realise that this is okay and it’s okay not to be like a supermodel. I felt so much pressure, I still do some days, to have a thigh gap and an impossible waist and a flat (if not caving) stomach that I became sick. At one point I was trying to starve myself or just having 1 ‘meal’ a day at a push but the problem was that no matter how much weight I lost it was never enough because I had gone so long in the mindset ‘I have to be skinnier, I have to be 90lbs or less, I have to get rid of all this fat’ and it had eaten away at my mind. I was losing weight because I hated myself not because I was doing it to honour my body which meant it never seemed enough. After 2 years I was diagnosed with an eating disorder and began getting help. Now 1 year on and in my healthy weight range (20lbs up from before treatment), I still have my days when I can’t love the flesh on the insides of my thighs or the little roll of my stomach when I sit down but for every day when I don’t love myself, there are 2 when I do. I’m now eating cleaner (I’m sorry but a cookie is a must sometimes) and working out to improve my body because I believe I DESERVE to make my body even MORE beautiful. Thank you Cassey for teaching me that I don’t need to be what the media tell girls they have to be, that I’m beautiful in my own way and thank you for inspiring me to recover and find a way to love myself 🙂
Your story is amazing, I’m so glad you got over your eating disorder and have learned to love your body! You are inspiring, I wish you all the best beautiful 🙂
The thing is I feel like most of us, even when we believe our bodies could be better, wouldn’t hate ourselves so much if we hadn’t been thought that we look disgusting.
dear cassey,
this post is so much worth it. i am so happy that you are not a ‘fitnessgirl’ that only accepts skinny girls. when I was 13 i began eating less and less, but i wasn’t fat at all. i was alwas the skinniest girl in class or at my friends. after a year i was been hospitzolized for 5 weeks. i had an eating disorder. it was terrible and i hated myseld more and more. now im in a treatment at a clinic for eating disorders.
i am eating healthy(and not the clean part) with sometimes a cookie. i am doing your exercises, not to lose weight, but to become strong. ofcourse i still have a lot of struggles with my body.
x
I have been chubby my whole life, i think i was even born chubby XD I always wanted to lose weight but i never managed to because i would be either too lazy or have too little motivation to do exercises or not be able to resist the temptation of the delicious cookies and sweets and chocolat etc.
I am now in the 4th week of the beginners calender and i absolutely love doing these workouts with you. This is the first time i am really losing weight, the first time being able to stick to exercise routines and the first time to actually ENJOY doing workouts. I used to hate them but now i can’t stop anymore 😀
Cassey, thank you so much for inspiring and motivating us all to get up and moving. We love you so much! I definitely do 🙂
Lots of love from the Netherlands xxx
Cassey I just want you to know that you are my inspiration! I’ve had this in my head for 4 years so I want to get this off my chest.
When I was 6 years old I was really heavy. (I don’t know what my weight was) I got teased and bullied because I was fat. I would go home and cry until I went to bed. I got moved to different school in grade 1. At that time I was about 20 lbs heavier than I was in kindergarten. When I would go home and take a shower I would just look down and see my belly sticking out. When I would get our I would stare at myself saying that I would never be skinny and I would never be who I wanted to be. When I would go to the doctor’s they would always say I’m obese and that word hurt me inside. They would give me eating charts and book showing me what was good to eats and what wasn’t. Now I’m 17 and watching at least 10 videos a day and doing them with you. Thank you so much for inspiring so many people even me. I have friends that don’t care what I look like, supportive family, and a supportive boyfriend. Anyone out there who says they are “fat” are wrong. They are beautiful, amazing people.
For any of you suffering from an eating disorder or struggle with body image issues, I wrote a blog post on the topic a while ago: https://vergeofexisting.wordpress.com/2014/05/26/temptation-my-thoughts-on-eating-disorders/. A couple of my friends who had been dealing with eating disorders found it helpful. Hopefully you will too in some way 🙂 Keep being strong! It gets better!!
I was chubby since 3rd grade. I remember getting the comment from my friends was “You’re not that fat.” I wasn’t ever tease too harshly about my weight which I was fortunate. A year ago I decided this had to change. I am not to my goal weight yet, however, it has changed my life. I have had to teach my self what a healthy lifestyle looks like. Gets in to the discussion that when and if my husband and I decide to have children, what will I teach them. I don’t want my daughter to beat her self up in front the mirror but I also want to teach her healthy habits, that I wish I learned so long ago.
Btw as for hater comments about your body or whatever negative thing people could say, you are beautiful inside and out. I think its amazing you do so much yet you have this website and offer free advice, encouragement, and work out plans. I appreciate all that you do. Its easy for people to hate on things the hard part is actually doing something awesome.
*Posting this without proof reading…going to kick self later*
This is in no way child pornography. Instagram is so clueless there are so many accounts with way worse pictures than this such as the pro ana accounts honestly it’s sad that they chose to remove such an inspiring message to us all. Ps Ilysm
When I read this Im crying, and I guess Im typing as I need to let it out…
When I was little I was chubby and in primary school, around the age of 10 I was told by the school nurse to go to a nutritian as I was to heavy. I was told what to eat and to run in stairs, jumping on a trampoline etc. When I was at this stage this young my mother was also doing weight watchers and both of my parents were away working a lot. So from that age I was alone to deal with this andthen my parents divorced at age of 12 and I once again had to deal with my low self esteem and self hate by myself. I have been trying to loose weight/ get into shape/ get fit/ get healthy, whatever I think I’m doing for AS LONG as I can remember. Im am today trying to get with the beginners schedule for the 3rd time and I have stopped and started using training diaries and food diaries, again, as long as I can remember. Last year i ran 5K and it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but Im back being heavier than ever and Im working and eaten rubbish. I am trying and working and really really don’t want anything more than this!!!! Im trying again, 2nd day of beginners. But I’m really lost and don’t know what to do. Almost 24 and 14 years of self hate and destructiveness….
Oh , sweetie, I know exactly what you’re going through. After years of bullying and leading a super unhealthy life style I’ve finally started trying to eat right and doing the blogilaties calender. I just finished day five, and although it’s super hard I can already feel myself getting stronger, and I know if you keep trying that you will, too.
Don’t listen to what anyone says, because you are a beautiful person and I wish I knew you in real life so I could give you a big hug!
Good luck on you fitness journey. XOXO <3 😀
As girls we all struggle with self-esteem and weight loss issues. PLEASE KNOW that self-criticism and flagellation hardly inspires positive change. See eating as a way of nourishing yourself, rather than as a means of punishment (e.g. severe calorie restriction or deprivation) for not looking the way you want right now. Be patient with the process. And look forward to the kind of person you will become (kind, patient, persevering, hard working) on your way fitness journey. You’ll be a stronger person for it. You can do it <3
I’ve struggled with being heavy all of my life as well. I’ve enjoyed working out but could never actually lose weight. I’ve started the beginners workout calendar three times in the past and never got past day 3. This time around I finally reached week 3 and have yet to miss a day. So as Annie said above in her post, be patient with the process. You’re definitely not alone! You CAN do it, you CAN get healthy. Set small goals that you can achieve like being able to get through the pilates 100 move without stopping (I’m still striving to get there but I can make it half way!). I’ve also had to realize that the change starts with me. Don’t despise the small steps, just don’t stop. Keep pushing. You have a community rallying behind you and holding you accountable to the change you want to see within yourself. Be Encouraged!
I can remember, as a six year old child, standing in front of the mirror and looking down at my body and thinking I was fat (even though I was actually quite a scrawny child). I have no idea where this came from since no ever mocked me by saying I was chubby, in fact every was saying I was “too skinny” and that I needed to gain weight. Today I am a healthy weight, but I can remember through high school during puberty suffering through some really bad body image. I never did anything, but I just beat myself up about it. And I think that’s very dangerous. The fact that nobody actually said anything cruel to me, except myself. I am at a much healthier point in my life right now and I’m happy with being healthy by exercising and eating well, but body image can still be an issue, and I don’t think I’ll ever really not have certain days when I’m dissatisfied. It disgusts me that magazines and media continue to support incredibly skinny girls who can live unhealthy lifestyles (although I know there are people out there who are smaller simply due to genetics). We’re starting to get better as a society, but skinny as something everyone should idolize is still very overwhelming. It’s great to know that there are people out there like you trying to help people feel comfortable with who they are and their body, no matter what body type it is!
wow! i have been getting called fat most of my life. and at one point, I wasn’t even fat. it was just baby fat! and it went away in my teens, but the “fat” negative body image was so ingrained in me that I developed a horrible obsession with my body and trying to “fix” it. needless to say, i have screwed up my body trying to look a certain way (and NOW I actually am fat). It even got to the point where I didn’t want to be around my family because they would always comment about my body. But now I’m just trying to love myself and be patient and make myself healthy. I wish we lived in a world where people just accepted everyone for themselves at face value and wasn’t so judgmental about weight.
and btw, i knew a girl in high school who actually cut the small roll of “fat” from her stomach, really just excess skin. yeah, she ended up in the hospital and with ugly scars. she was stick thin…
When I was younger everyone (especially my mom and GP) said that I was overweighted. When I look back… I wasn’t that much overweighted. Just a little bit. I was a cihild…
BUT because everyone said I was fat, i felt so sad and start eating to feel more comfrotable. Obviously the result is that I am now 22 year old and overweighted :s
I know this doesn`t really have anything to do with this post but i really need help! I have always been somewhat overweight, due to really bad diet. A couple months ago i decided to change it. So i started do the blogilates calender, running and eating clean(er). And recently i had a growth spurt and became taller and automaticlly leaned out. And due to all this i became slimmer. Im not even close to Cassey or anything like that, but i can sesome muscle definition on my legs.
So here is my problem: My mom thinks i am starving myself. She says that i look underweight (i personlly think i look somewhat healthy, with some fat on my belly and arms) What should i do? She constantly talks about and since she herself is overweight it sounds to me like she is jealous (thats sounds crazy shallow, i know) And she doesnt like it when i cook clean meals or worksout. I am crazy afraid she will just completely forbid me to workout! Urrggg… She doesnt get that i do this because i love my body not because i hate it. PLEASE HELP!
That’s difficult. First, be honest with yourself and make sure you aren’t following a dangerous lifestyle model. Then, sit with your mom, have meals together and let her participate in your new life. Show her the whole foods you’re eating, ask if she wants to join you with some beginner pop pilates. Have a conversation with her, and show her some studies, or sit down and watch some docs on the detriment of processed foods. As you become more educated, share what you know in a respectful way. You also say that she’s jealous of you–when you share with her, make sure you’re sensitive to how age treats our bodies–as someone who’s almost 40, I can tell you, it takes so much longer for our bodies to bounce back. Don’t preach. Have a conversation and keep trying. Perceptions don’t change overnight. Good luck.
This makes me so mad, how is this even child pornography, like seriously?? Stay strong Cassey, we love you so much!
Hi , It’s a shame that instagram delete this post , this is a powerful & important message about acceptation , I have eating desorder , and I’m fighting against it , and it’s necessary to warn everyone about the dangers of the mockeries and their consequences. thanks for this Cassey
This is shocking, but I can refeel that very good. I’m overweigh since … well since ever. And kinds sometimes can be really mean! So was was called fat and they started to say things like “German tanks are rolling again!” when I walked by. That can really hurt your feelings. I’mm 22 yrs now and tried out almost every method on this world to slim. Now I’m here doing the beginner’s and alredy lost almost 8 lbs. So I am 180 lbs now and 63.78in tall. So I have to go for another 35lbs. I hope to finish this goal ob to my 24th b-day on 22 Oct. 2015 🙂
You my friend are an inspiration! I am so sorry that all those people said mean things. Soon you’ll be seeing them and you will feel happy, healthy, and beautiful. Happy early birthday!
It’s funny how most people seem to think that people get treated differently based on their appearance… That it effects how far they can get in life and how easily. The truth is people are perceived based on the way they perceive themselves… Nothing more and nothing less. The most valuable thing in the world is learning to truly love yourself. One of the most special things about Cassey (I may have spelled that wrong) is her emphasis on this. Lots of love xoxo
you said: “It’s funny how most people seem to think that people get treated differently based on their appearance… That it effects how far they can get in life and how easily. The truth is people are perceived based on the way they perceive themselves… Nothing more and nothing less.”
this isn’t necessarily true. Someone can view themselves as ugly or beautiful and other people may view them differently, even without knowing them. If someone is truly looking for inner beauty or looking for flaws they will find it regardless of what a person thinks of themselves. in regards to “how far they can get in life and how easily” I don’t think that half the actresses,entertainers, or models could get where they are at if they didn’t look a certain way (thin, tall, beautiful). it doesn’t matter how beautiful i am (or how beautiful i think i am), i’m not tall and thin, therefore, i wont be walking the runway anytime soon. the same could be said for any number of professions, and it is mostly harder on women to look a certain way. But if society changed the way it perceives beauty, then we would be living in a much happier world!
I can barely look at that picture. A girl in the dorms my freshman year of college tried to cut out her fat with a pair of scissors. It ended as badly as you’d expect.
Kids are so mean in school, especially girls. The “mean girls” in my school made fun of the fat girls for being fat, and me and the other small kids for being scrawny and short. Can’t win.
My niece just turned 9, and she has been gaining weight steadily for the last few years. She’s very overweight at this point (like to the point where it’s heading from chubby to unhealthy). My sister and her husband are extremely overweight as well, and they eat pretty much nothing but junk food. The rest of us want to find a way to politely encourage my sister to try and do something about the poor kid’s weight now before it becomes a health issue, but how the heck do you say that to someone? And how do you go about it without hurting the little girl?
Great post. <3
in general, none should be called fat..
claudiamedas.blogspot.com
You need to understand that these social media sites were created to dumb everyone down, keep everyone self absorbed (go see MK-ultra mind control) and under “control”. They wouldn’t want people thinking for themselves or out of programmed mind set they want you to have. They make far more money out of us when we’re sick, blindly consuming and dying slowly (physically and mentally).
By “they” I mean the elite, powers at be.
I love that you do this for us Cassey. i also love how stubborn you are!! thank you for re-posting this. it means a lot.
Hey Cassie!
As someone who is currently in the process of overcoming an eating disorder, I found this very powerful to read. I am really happy that you said something, especially because (and I really don’t want to make you feel bad here) sometimes when I watch your videos there is a lot of talk of “burn off that unwanted fat”, “get ride of those love handles/inner thighs”. Now that I am well fed, it is inspirational to lose weight (or get fit) in a healthy way, however, sometimes those comments bring me back to my days of attempting to get rid of those fat areas in a very unhealthy way. I think that it is important for you, as a fitness instructor, and as someone who promotes weight loss, to remind everyone that they are not special because of how much fat they have on their core, but by who they are as a person.
It is really easy to slip into a downward spiral if you start exercising excessively and restricting what you eat. I think it is really important for your viewers not to push themselves too hard because of their disastisfaction with their bodies and it might be a good idea to make a video about this. You are a really inspirational and powerful person, I think your viewers would really benefit from a vlog about not doing too much.
Thanks again for the post,
Kendall
Words are painful, and leave scars on our hearts, especially when we are young. Being called fat or ugly, are a form of verbal abuse, and even emotional abuse…inside us all, there is a little girl no matter how old we are, and no one likes to be called fat.
Thank you for this!!!
The image was so powerful and I welcome more people like you opening up a dialogue on this issue that is so incessant in our culture.
As a mom of 2 young daughters and one middle age daughter I am challenged to keep my daughters healthy, empowered, and in love with all the amazing things their bodies do for them everyday.
“And to think that all those so-called “fitness” accounts publishing nearly pornographic butt shots and underboob are not being reported?”
this is so true. this is so so so true.
THANK YOU for bringing this up. I remember being called fat when I was about 9 or 10 years old, and poor body image and unhealthy dieting habits followed me from then until COLLEGE. It took a looong time to get to that physical and mental state where I truly put health first, but I did it!
It is completely our responsibility to pass healthy habits to children. I’m a preschool teacher, and even my 4 year olds have made negative comments about their appearance. It starts so young and they’re continuously bombarded with it as they grow up. One year when I was teaching upper elementary, the teacher regularly talked about needing to lose 15 pounds. She was beautiful, a healthy weight, and the kids looked up to her. We had a few overweight girls and I could almost feel their insecurity. Heartbreaking.
Now I cringe when I hear anything related to dieting or negative body talk mentioned around kids. I talk about food of course, but about how it’s fuel for our bodies and the great things it does for us. If we can raise kids to have this mindset towards food and their bodies, we could change the world. Thanks for doing your thing to help it happen, Cassey!! 🙂
Hi Cassey,
I’m a huge fan of everything you do and what you’re all about. I love the content of this blog and I can totally relate to wanting to cut off my own fat…
That being said, I was a victim of early childhood sexual abuse and child pornography. It is a dark part of my past that I have worked through to get to the light.
I think it’s important for fans of yours that may have a background like mine to know that you didn’t intend to publish this as child pornography. However, my first thought when I saw this picture was of my own dark history and the trauma I suffered.
I think, although you don’t understand why this picture is inappropriate, those of us with a dark history of early childhood sexual abuse understand why Instagram deleted the post. You, with a mind that is so cheerful and positive, could never consider a picture like this to be inappropriate, but for people like me, it is upsetting- to say the least.
I ask that you consider people like me next time you consider posting a picture like this.
I’m very sorry for your trauma, Sara. A lot of the people commenting on this post probably have no idea that there are thousands, probably millions of people who were victimized just as you were. And that is understandable. But when the issue is brought to their attention and they are STILL defending it (“But.. The context..”, “Shes only topless”, etc.) is mind blowing.
Ugh! To start with, what annoys my this thia whole powerful and thought provoking picture is this that this girl is very clearly not naked, she has her chest showing. I understand that instagram has a no nudity policy but
Topless is still nudity.
This is clearly not pornographic, though. It’s just a little girl, there is nothing ptovoking about her being “naked”.
Context doesn’t matter AT ALL. Did you see what I said about mommy blogs being pedophile’s favorite websites? You think moms post pornographic photos of their kids? Of course not. Nudity is nudity. It doesn’t matter.
Wow. Yesterday I was looking up eating disorder stats, as I have been struggling lately, and came across this image. Then it showed up here. <3
But what about the girls like me who are natural skinny and have yo foght to feel comfortable without the womanly curves and everything else? I feel SO disgusting uncomfortable in my akiny because I feel like my butt if flat and I have chicken legs and no cleavage. Why does nobody ever talk about that. I love how inspirational you are C assey and I really love this post and think it’s extremely important. But I also just want to see some posts about the other side of things. P.S: child porn? Really? People will go so far out of their way to troll, I swear.
SO many typos. Omg. Sorry about that, I was typing fast on a phone that was lagging.
Good god, it’s not trolling. It’s showing concern for a vulnerable child. Obviously this photo is not pornographic. But does that stop some very sick people from collecting photos like this and passing them around amongst their online community? No.
There have been police reports that, in this day and age, pedophiles love to creep on “Mommy Blogs”. Innocent photos of childhood being used by some sick people. Also, when police arrest someone for having child porn on their computer, they try to find out the identity of every child in every photo. You know why? Because they consider them to be victims of a crime. The LAW considers innocent children to be victims of a crime if their photo (innocent or not) ends up in a pedophile’s collection. End of story.
Look, I know it sucks, but these people exist everywhere. And the Internet is making it all too easy for them to access to images of children. That’s the reality of the situation. This is NOT some petty “trolling” issue, and it’s ignorant to even compare it to that. It’s a legitimate problem that has been around for a long time. Just because you aren’t aware of it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
There is a line between a shot of a little girl and a pornographic shot of a little girl. Are pedophiles out there? Of course. Do they care why is a photograph presented in a certain way? Absolutely not. However, censorship is bad in any case, even more when it does not serve the purpose it is supposed to. Taking down photos that are clearly not pornographic (in a context that couldn’t be farther from child pornography) won’t make pedophiles disappear or stop using photos of little girls (or boys). Besides that, the internet has not made easier the life of these people alone. Just think about it: Do you prefer a pedophile searching for “release” in the internet or taking photos out of your child’s school?
No. Instagram deleting a photo that violates their Terms of Service is not censorship. The image of a child’s naked body being taken off the Internet is NOT censorship. And the fact that you consider someone’s “right” to post naked photos of someone underage to be more important than what you call “censoring”, is horrifying.
Are you kidding me?! Fat people are mocked mercilessly, whereas your body type walks down the runways in fashion shows.
The bullying goes both ways. I was tormented far more when I weighed 96 lbs than I am now at 140 lbs. People will be mean no matter what. All you can do is believe in yourself and not give them power over you.
You have clearly never been 96 (or 86 or 76)lbs and a teenager… I was mocked all the time for my “eating disorder” especially when the school made us watch documentaries on eating disorders to educate us. I celebrated weighing 100 lbs because I figured it made me normal. Now I have some weight I could lose but heaven forbid I eat healthy foods in public. As an adult I still get judged as someone with “problems” or whatever if I’m caught eating healthy foods.
I am 26 now, and as I can remember I’ve always been fat.
As a little child I did ballet too and I felt really out of place looking at all those skinny little girls performing beside me. I felt different. I looked at the reflection of my body in that orrible mirror in front of me and I couldn’t stand it. I hated every part of my body. And I hated mirrors.
I still can remember my uncle looking at me and saying: “You’ve grown so fat. Oh Lord what do you eat, candies?” Yep, that sentence is still in my head and it still hurts! Even now that I’ve lost more than 20 kilos, even now that I feel so strong and healthy because of you Cassey <3 … I still can't help thinking at myself as a fat girl. That little chubby girl is still here, somewhere and she makes me feel so bad sometimes, so guilty when I eat YOLO, so undesired and unloved. If I'll ever have a child I'll make sure she'll never feel ashamed because of her body. I will teach her that her body is perfect and beautiful and that she has the power to reach whatever she wants in life. I want her to feel unstoppable, just like that 3 beautiful girls in your bodypop video <3
No. No no no. Every person saying IG was wrong to delete this needs to stop and think. It doesn’t matter what the message is. It is child nudity, period. It is against their Terms ofService.
Child nudity does not belong on the Internet. They cannot properly consent because they don’t fully understand the consequences of having their naked body on the Internet for all the world to see.
Yes, even adult nudity should be deleted off of IG. If you see it, report it! But you have to understand that there is a huge difference between a consenting adult who understands what they are doing, and an underage child who could grow up and end up being haunted and traumatized by their naked bodies being so accessible.
So, yes. Instagram had every right to delete the photo, even if I do agree with the message it sends. No nudity, period. And especially no child exploitation.
K, this comment makes me completely understand your opinion. It is valid and well explained. However, I think you should stop commenting on everyone else’s opinions with short responses. Everyone is entitled to their reactions. But when I read “Topless is still nudity.” You don’t sound half as explained and understandable as you do with this comment. In other words, let people read your comment and understand (and eventually agree) with it, like I did. It comes off as argumentative and that you’re just trying to be right. We all have some truth to our personal rants!
Someone shoud introduce you to the concept of “child custody” asap.
Cassey, you’re awesome. But everyone needs to calm down about IG deleting the photo. They have a no nudity policy, no matter what the message is.
And the reason why the photos of adults you mention aren’t being deleted is because no one has reported them! Adult, child, whatever. There cannot be nudity, so feel free to report the photos of adults as well.
Another thing about this specific photo – it is an underage girl. At least, it looks like it. Modeling for a campaign or not, this is a topless underage girl. If IG wants that off of their server, they have every right to delete it.
We all love Cassey, agree with the sentiments, etc. but let’s all take a breath and look at it from another view.
K,
I get that you’re busy crusading for Instagram’s right to take down a picture they deem to be pornographic, but you’re flaming the fire by commenting so often about that issue to several other readers. This post was intended to bring to light what calling a child “fat” does to his/her self esteem, and how damaging it can be; this post was meant to be supportive to those that are still struggling with that issue and to inspire comments about loving your body, accepting it as it is, even while you struggle to better it through diet and exercise. We get it, IG had the right to remove that photo – let’s move on. Let’s talk about Cassey’s point, let’s encourage each other to love our bodies as they are and to make healthier choices and to be kind to our children and to teach them to do the same. Let’s put it to rest.
It’s so sad to see how many actually were bullied as kids.
I was doing ballet for 6 years in total. I always loved it, it made me happy. When I was ten years old, my teacher decided that it was time to introduce the point shoes to my class, so she organized a fitting. Out of my whole class there were only 4 people able to stand on the tip of their toes, including myself. The other three girls were really skinny, but I still had that child-chubbiness going on. I do now know, that this is completely natural and not fat at all. My teacher said that I couldn’t get into her extra lesson though, because I was “too heavy”.
The worst part was that me and those other girls were best friends and our parents used to drive us together to training to save money. Due to that I had to wait half an hour after regular class to get picked up, because they got their extra training in point shoes.
I remember sitting there every week, watching my friends, thinking “Please, let me be thin like them. Please let me be good enough one day…” for half an hour.
A year later I could finally convince my mum that I wanted to quit.
At the age of 13 I began developing an eating disorder and that was when the actual bullying from kids at my own age started. “Ew, look how her bones are showing”, that did hurt almost as much as feeling fat.
Now I am 21 and the past year was the first one for me to get a healthy amount of three meals every day. It took me very long to realize that I was always good enough and that the ability to perform a certain sport has nothing to do with weight, but only with your strength.
(= Sorry for spamming but I just had to get this off my chest after reading the post, because I can relate so much.
Love you Cassey :*
I hate that little girls are taught to hate their bodies from an early age. I never knew to hate my body until my mom started to repeatedly inform me that I was too chubby (come on, tons of little girls go through a chubby phase). This lead to an eating disorder and hating myself. Fortunately I was able to get past the eating disorder, but I got chubby again and continued to hate myself. It has been a long road but now I’m learning how to love myself! I am not at my “goal weight” yet but I am working on making my body healthier and that makes me feel good about myself. 🙂 Thanks for your help, Cassey!
Excuse me if there are mistakes, but I’m french and my english isn’t perfect haha…
So I’ve already seen this picture before and it really strikes me too…
People who make fun of chubby boys or girls are unluckily the reflect of the society today, that is to say : SIMPLE-MINDED. (well, a big part of the society of course, not everyone…). Because of what they see or what they hear, they criticize the one who is different from their so called “perfect standard”. Like, we live in a world where every girl has to be thin and skinny and just perfect. Same for the boys. We see that everyday in magazines and everywhere. And It creates that kind of “stereotype” of the perfect body, and they just become obsessed. And I think it’s just unfair and it shouldn’t be, because we all KNOW for sure that NO ONE is perfect. Even those girls in magazines, they are photoshoped and they might not be healthy at all, (like eating one salad for the day and starving and that’s all).
You don’t have to be skinny, you just have to be healthy and strong and brilliant.
To eat like you want, but in a healthy way. Actually, to be the best version of yourself.
When I was younger, I decided to lose weight in a bad way, because of all the thin girls I could see everywhere.
And the results were that FIRST : – I was starving, and BESIDES : – I felt worse and worse about my body.
So I realize it was not the life I wanted to live, I didn’t wanted to focus on food and feel bad, I just wanted to be happy with my life, with myself and with my body. So I made a compromise : If you wanna be, not AS beautiful AS the girls you can see but even more beautiful than them (and yeah, you can kinda be narcissist sometimes, like Am I not the sexiest today ? hehehehe…) No, but seriously, you have to work that butt out and eat healthy and the results will follow and last, because in the long term, it’s the best way for you to feel beautiful. And the other “beautiful thin girls” became your strength, like I you’re saying “work until your idols become your rivals” .
Be strong, and healthy and shiny. Someone loves you and will always encourages you.
XOXO <3
Repost for you!!! @blogilates
This picture is indeed shocking. Media is giving us the image of the perfect woman: skinny,flawless, skin and tall. It really makes me sad that little girls are unconfident with their body, because that is what you shouldn’t be thinking about at that age. On the other side, if media would not give is that perfect image, we would not all be so motivated to eat clean and excersise to lose weight. Whether we like it or not, obesity is a big problem and that’s because we either eat too much, or we eat unhealthy. So I think media is maybe keeping a balance, it does not give us a realistic image of the average woman, but it does give me motivation.
I can absolutely relate to this post. In primary school I was always bullied for beeing tha “fat kid” (looking at pictures now, I wasn’t at all a fat kid, I was a little chubby in the face…). With me, my first class teacher started it, saying things like “you don’t need to participate in PE, you’re just to fat”. So after some years of growing I turned out to be more on the skinny site of the population, and I have a hard time gain any weight. But I still feel like the fat little kid frome time to time…..
Our generation should shout ot the message, that health and happiness are not defined by your weight but how you feel. I am happy to have found Cassey and all her positivity 🙂
This hurts so see so much because when I was younger (I’m 15 now) I was constantly bullied until about 8th grade when I switched schools. Suddenly people didn’t see me as ‘the fat girl’ and I didn’t understand why, I was so insecure. I was in constant fear of someone to find out that I was heavier then I was then. I deleted all my Facebook pictures so no one would see my past. And then I lost some weight and my family began to tell me I was too thin. Do you know how it felt to be called too fat at school and too thin at home? My mind was effed up. And until today, I know I’m healthy, but I find it really uncomfortable to eat on front of someone or remotely speak about weight/size. I know that the kids at my frost school didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, they were just kids. But boy did it affect me…
You are an inspiration! Thanks for posting this and I agree with the others, repost it on IG!
Thank you for your quick and effective youtube workout videos! I do 1 or 2 every afternoon before i make dinner to get an extra energy boost! My 2 little girls do it with me and we all stay body positive no matter what! My 8 year old loves you!! Thank you for being a healthy and fun role model to my child – I can’t tell you how hard that is to find these days!!
I say post it back on Instagram! They need to prioritize! More people need to be inspired by this post.
Thank you for sharing this important message!
I was teaching a little girls’ dance class a few days ago, and a small, thin girl, no older than 7, was looking at herself in the mirror and sucking in until all her ribs were visible. There was honestly barely any fat on her, and when I asked what she was doing, she said that she was trying to be skinnier. Of course I told her that her body was beautiful the way it was and there was no reason for her to worry about that. It just hit me really hard how young girls are when they are already worrying about their weight/size. If only people would put less emphasis on having a certain shape and more emphasis on their health, talents, love towards others, and many other important things.
From personal experience, I know how vulnerable young girls are to developing bad eating habits and eating disorders. It makes it much worse when girls are being influenced by media and older women in their life to stay thin, but they’re not informed on how to stay healthy while staying in shape.
Breaks my heart!
There was a Junior High kid in our school that took her life. I think all bullying NEEDS TO STOP! Calling someone fat when they aren’t is ridiculous. Like me I have fat and PROUD OF IT! It is what shows me that I still have a feature that everyone else has. Yeah I do wish I can get rid of my fat, but then I realized I can’t. So I’ll just trim it down by exercising. Little girls don’t need to be thinking about these things when they are young. All they need to do is go outside and play. My friend and I played outside all the time till our high school years. Young I know but it gave me something great to do. I used my mind to imagine cool things and we ran around pretending we were ninjas or some awesome heroes. Thats how a little girl needs to live, not thinking that they are too fat and they need to cut themselves.
So incredibly true. Little kids are so ruthless sometimes, they don’t even know the power of words and pain caused by bullying. I know I was a target.
I love this post. I got called fat as a child too, and blogilates is honestly the first thing that has gotten me active since then. I’m pretty sure the “fat” was all due to puberty because it just seemed to show up one day and then I lost it as I went through puberty, but even now that I’m no longer even close to the overweight range (and was actually never in it although I teetered close to it) I still have to remind myself that I’m not fat a good deal of the time.
Because of my weight, I felt almost shameful in PE class. My lack of confidence made me do things like fumble with the ball of whatever sport we were playing, and pretty soon I was more or less seen by my classmates as a fat kid who couldn’t play sports. I used to cry in the mornings before PE days, and for years and years I avoided any sort of physical activity like the plague because I felt like I was too fat to actually do any of it even though I knew it was healthy. It’s only been in the past year or so that I’ve managed to get through that, and that’s actually how I wound up at blogilates. I can say that I’ve never been more confident with my body than I have been since starting blogilates though, so thank you very much for that, Cassey.
I can completely relate to this… I would desperately beg my mom to let met me pass pe because I was so ashamed of running in front of people and them see me ‘jiggle’ haha.. My mom wouldnt understand why and I couldn’t explain to her because she would fat shame me. I love her but she would put me in front of the mirror, lift up my shirt and point to my stomach and say things like “if you keep eating candy it will get worse”. And today she still tells me that it was “for my own good” and that it’s thanks to her that I lost weight.. This mentality of parents also needs to stop..
Thank you for sharing this, Cassey. I, too, have felt like that many times when I was a girl. My mom and grandma would point out my chub, the fact that wasn’t very skinny. Obviously, that made me sad and mad at various points of my life. Now I know better, and I’m no skinny mini but I am okay with me. I am still working on my fitness and health, but I like myself a lot more now than I did back then. The photograph is a powerful one. It is clearly not intended as child pornography.
Here is my concern:
A mother/photographer asked to her beautiful little girl to act his way in front of a camera and then posted this picture. Many adults use that as an excuse to expose their story as « a chubby little kid».
While we cant pretend as fashion world and society doesn’t have a big effect on self confidence but it is not an excuse to use poor marketing. That is a real life child on that picture. She deserves love, shes deserves that people tell her how beautiful she is, how we don’t have to be like the girls in the magazine. Instead, people are basically telling her she is chubby, witch she IS NOT. Neither she is a «place» so people can share their story!
I won’t support the work of someone using a kid for provocation. There are many ways to be creative and child shouldn’t suffer from it. I prefer letting child growing up and making their own choices, witch she doesn’t have right now. As a «chubby little kid», how would you feel if a parent took a picture of you like that?
Casey, I am a big fan of yours. But I will stand up for that little girl. I can’t save them all, but I want her to know she is perfect the way she is and her beautiful smile alone is enough.
Well said!!! There are more creative ways to express and bring to light these painful issues! The topic is serious and deserving of conversation, but not at any child’s expense. Even if it is photoshopped, will she one day see this and wonder about herself? If she believes she is beautiful now, will she question that belief at whatever age she does see the picture? Will she question her parents thoughts about her? There is NO WAY I would allow my child to be photographed this way!!
So many of us have painful memories of being bullied, teased, and/or abused, but let’s not risk hurting others in order to bring healing. I am almost 42 and I can still hear a cruel 5th grader’s words teasing me about the size of my chest! While I now know I am beautiful, his words echo in me almost daily when I look in the mirror. I wish that was the only unwanted moment I endured as a child, but the rest would be for a different day and topic.
The words written on your post are powerful and much needed Cassey, thank you for your honestly.
Marie, in this instance you underestimate my daughter..
She is a hugely self confident, well balanced wee lady who works as an actress and as such takes on emotive roles often.
The concept for the whole project (there is not simply one image but a set ongoing covering various topics) was discussed over a period of time, long chats that we had had spurred on by her friend getting bullied(She had been bullied herself in the past also for being’different’)
We talked about ‘whys’ and ‘where froms’ she gave her own ideas on what subjects to cover, how things should be shot and posed (she is very into photography herself).
During the shoot she ended up chuckling and joking about looking like a cat cleaning itself, so far did she have to bend over to have enough to grab.
I have never once’made’ my daughter model for me, but I do ask her..if she says no,its a no, but she is incredibly proud to have been part of this shoot and thinks its wonderful that so many have seen it and know they may not be alone in how they think/feel…and that even if only in a tiny way she may have made some people think again about their words and actions towards others..
I do not underestimate your daughter, I underestimate you as a mother. So this was an educational project. Fine. Why the need to share it publicly then? Why not let your intelligent kid choose how she wants to put her creativity when she is at an age to make that kind of decision? I guess getting attention to your work was more important, at the price of an irresponsable marketing.
Because she IS at an age despite your thoughts the the contrary, she is at an age where she has her own thoughts and feelings and actively wants to be part of the process, if she did not, as I said, the shoots would not happen.
In the past she has approached me with concept ideas..
She attends film and photography classes and chooses what roles she wants to attend castings for after reading the scripts sent through.
Kids are ALWAYS at an age to express themself. It´s your job as a mother to make sure she is SAFE. She came up with the concept? Great. You do that that in her own privacy. What is wrong is that you benefit from your child expressing herself. She will have to face the world soon enough, you should cherish the moment you can still protect her instead of being greedy of your “work” being recognize. Wanting fame in cheap marketing that could hurt your child in the future is beyond words. Funny how you don’t address what is really wrong. Every responsible parents would encourage a child to express him/ herself, nothing new about that. But those same responsible parents will let them grow in a safe place instead of trying to make a circus about it.
Dear Marie. You raise such an important point about how images are manufactured. It’s a very shocking picture. Like you, I hope the creator of this image had a very open and loving conversation with this little girl about the picture, what she was doing, and why. Hopefully the child was able to absorb it. We can only guess (hope) if the little one saw herself as part of a movement to stop shaming and pressuring everyone to fit into a harmful and ridiculous “ideal”.
How do you know she is not safe Marie?
You assume , you assume far too much actually..
My daughter and I work well together, she, like her three sisters are incredibly well balanced kids(although the others are now late teens)
The concept was a construct between us both, its something we do a lot of, we talk a great deal about many things.
I dont benefit in the way you think I do, what have I possibly gained from having the image stolen and used without credit and stripped of original concept?
WE benefit..as mother and daughter..an extra experience we share together, she loves what she does..both acting and modeling, shes been in films where she has had to take on strong emotional roles..by HER choice, not mine, I support her in that and will continue to do so, shes met some amazing people along the way and has a massive bank of memories already..shes a happy smiling funny wee girl with a massive heart and a good amount of artist talent that I am MORE than happy to support..
She has benefited from it..apart from the extra fun we have had..(contrary to what you may feel) had we not begun to work together she wouldnt have gained her first film role almost by accident..and shes never looked back..
You think she is not ‘safe’ I disagree with you, as would she.and tbh anyone that actually knows us..and the thing is..we DO actually know her, whereas you can only make assumptions based on your own experiences..
Again, you are not adressing the fact that you PUBLICLY publish that PERSONAL “concept”. You even justify your actions because she got a contract out of it? Like a desperate mother who will do anything so their child becomes “star”? She is a KID she should play and not work! And haha, you are not benefiting from it. Yeah right. I’m glad my mom was not an unsuccesful “artist” who used me to live her dreams at an inappropriate age. I got to choose what my dreams were/are.That is my personal experience and it´s something I’ll gladly pass to my children.
Again, you know nothing about me..*shrug* you make assumptions, which incidently are totally off kilter..
She got a contract /first job out of her modelling years ago, not recently? so I am not sure where you are getting that from?
Its only lately that we have worked together on any ‘stronger’ concepts, up until then much of it was her getting to have pics of her dressed up and messing around, as I shared with friends, they liked them, and because we enjoyed it so much we worked together on more shoots, she loved it, I loved it, we spent and do spend even more quality time through it.
I publish many concepts with different models, thats what photographers often do.. The ones with my youngest are just part of that and brings us a lot of extra laughter and giggling.
You dont think that its ‘personal’ down to her feeling that way do you? If so thats very much the wrong end of the stick there.. the concept was a construct? a mix of ideas and feelings we discussed in the same way we talk about emotions in film roles? how this or that person would/could feel, things people have said, things seen on tv, in film, it was her playing a role, acting a part….she doesnt believe it to be ‘real’ about her any more than she believed she was a Zombie when filming the other week (and boy did she love that).
Having worked ‘behind the scenes’ as she does its helped give her a stronger grasp on what is real or not than many her age.
She does well for herself.. thats bloody amazing for her..Im proud of her, FOR her…she gets to do something she adores doing and is good at, meets wonderful new people, builds up a wealth of experience and has gained a wee following of her very own, something she thinks in her words is ‘awesome’
Her first film lead won awards all over Europe, that was her, doing something she loves..jumped at the chance to be able to do ..no one pushed her, forced her or any other such..and like any mother I supported her,sat with her as ‘the other character’ whilst she went through line learning, accompanied her to the filming as chaperone, sat back and let her do her thing..which she did brilliantly..and shes continued to do the same since..sometimes she ‘works’ with me , but its in addition to everything else she loves to do..
She DOES choose you see…She has always chosen..and I am happy to work with her when we have the time to do so..its a lot of fun. this IS play for her, something that you dont seem to get very well, she doesnt see it as ‘work’ not in the slightest..
Im at an age, and lucky enough to have done just about everything I wanted to do..I encourage that in my girls..to follow their own dreams and ‘live’ their lives..and they all do..all are very different, all have their own paths and its a joy to see.
In the past if they want to do a shoot then great, lets do this….and they have all asked now and again..there is no ‘living my dream’ though any of them, you seriously underestimate the personality of my girls if you think I can ‘make’ them pose for me XD
My youngest is more involved with my photography for no other reason than because SHE likes to be, wants to be, If I have an idea I ask her we talk..we exchange thoughts and ideas, if she says no, then its no……if she has an idea she asks me, we talk.. and on it goes..
She just also happens to be living her own dream, doing all the things she loves to do, modelling, acting, photography, film, art, these are her passions, and whilst they are, I will support her in doing all of them..
So we do agree, kids should get to chose to follow their own dreams …..because thats exactly what she is doing.
I totally agree, it is so sad how many kids go through this… It makes me angry to hear about it, honestly. I really want to stop it somehow… No child ever deserves that!!! I was also rejected and bullied all throughout school, even in preschool! It got even worse over the years and never stopped until I graduated high school. I am actually very skinny naturally and am 10lbs underweight right now, and I was constantly accused of having an eating disorder (never true), bullied, and harassed. Being born with a speech impediment caused by weak muscles/low muscle tone (maybe because I’m a triplet?) certainly caused tremendous amounts of bullying too… I didn’t even know I talked different or that there was anything wrong with me until kids in school imitated me (among many other things)! I’ve never had friends or been accepted in any community, except for by Blogilates and the fabulous POPsters I’ve connected with. This community is truly amazing, and I am blessed to have found it. (Oh and by the way, I’m a different Hannah than the one who has already commented on here, just to clear up any confusion 🙂 haha) This world needs more of the wonderful POPsters I’ve met, and less bullying! Maybe if we all work together, we can (hopefully) put an end to the bullying and teach kids to accept and support each other!
Casey,
I am so thankful that this image exists, because although it is very hard to look at, it represents a voice being silenced within so many women and young girls. Infact, I relate to you in that I’ve thought the same horrible thing – sometimes I still dream about pulling the “fat” off (although today people would say its imaginary fat.) I love your statement that “It is hard to love and accept your body when the world tells you not to.” I think also we have to accept the reality that there are people who will continue to tell us lies about our identity and inherit value, and we cannot change the fact that these people will deliberately pour darkness into our heart if we open it to them. Thus, you are right – we are a generation that desire s an embrace of change, for girls to live in freedom and live off of truth and love and not manipulation. These hurtful lies happen for so many reasons, as many as there are humans really…although money is a huge one today from the media industries and whatnot. If we really want to have freedom and love and see it born in others then it starts in both how we treat ourselves, in what we believe about ourselves even more so, and in being proud and loud and loving of others like how you have done today. Thank-you so much for sharing your heart today – you are beautiful and will change the way people see their bodies and healthy living – in a way that brings about LIFE not DEATH! ♥ 🙂
Love to you! Forget about the morons, they will eat their own dirt one day. Never let anyone silence you ♥
Natalie ♥
Cassey, I am so inspired by this post! It’s true that the criticism about our weight start from when girls are so young and impressionable. Really, I just wish people who criticize young girls AND boys would stop engraining what they think is beauty into them. I think it just causes more problems than making it better. I would know, I was a victim of this. Hearing that you experienced the same thing as me makes me feel like I can achieve what you have achieved for yourself, and that is being happy about the way you look and results can happen if you work hard at it. This definitely is a powerful photo. Thank you for being such such an inspiration, Cassey! <3
P.S. I think you're beautiful!
That is why I always tell people that EVERY body is valid. You have a right to exist regardless of your body size and type.
Yeah, I saw this on Tumblr (posted from your Instagram) and it struck me hard. It really got me thinking, I think this is a wonderful post.
“I know that at the end of the day, I am more than just my physical appearance. Seriously. My body holds my talents, my dreams, and my drive. It doesn’t define me. So don’t let it define you either. Let’s teach our little girls and little boys this.” is my favorite paragraph. Made my smile, actually. And thank you for including little boys, as well!!
Thanks for reposting it on your blog! Stupid Instagram!! Stick to Tumblr, Cassey. 😉
Wow what a powerful photo. So sad that people would report it as child porn instead of stopping and asking the question; What is this about? What is the message this person is trying to convey?
Thanks for sharing this Cassey!
This topic is something which really affected me as a kid as well, and even till now when im 23. I was really fat as a kid and I faced so many negative comments from people around me; my physical education teacher in school, school mates, distant relatives and even my own immediate family members. And like the girl in the picture, there were occasions where I would hold a scissors to my tummy and thought about cutting off those fats. Even till now, im extra sensitive to jokes or comments of me being fat (even though I am of an acceptable weight now).
I really hope that people would stop calling others names based on their body shape and size, and instead eeducate them to love their body and encourage them in a more helpful way such as doing exercises together. Teach young girls (and boys) to love their body instead of to hate it and to feel inferior and compelled to change.
Oh honestly, some people are so reactive. If they had looked at the photo and used their brains a bit, they would have gotten the message.
I remember wanting to cut my fat off, and sometimes I still do. In dance, there are so many girls that are just tiny… so being even a little bit bigger hurts. But, my body allows me to dance!
This post is so important and honest. Thanks for posting it here.
Totally agree! Almost every aspect of society tells women and girls that they should be skinnier, and the media/tabloids are amongst the worst culprits!
I completely agree, especially as a teenage girl myself I can relate, but I learned that people will continue trying to shame you based on appearence whether you are “fat” or “thin” or anything in between… I just wish women would band together and support eachother in being confident and achieving our dreams rather than cut eachother down!! We just need go remember that words cannot hurt you; it is only your perception of those words! =^.^=
Great message, I think it’s important to remember that we are not defined by our appearance. I’m slowly learning to accept myself how I am, if others love me that way then I can too. Shocked that IG deleted it!!
I believe the image is by Meg Gaiger – http://harpyimages.deviantart.com/art/Outside-influences-project-Fashion-edition-2-470126241
If instagram really thought it was child pornography, they would have to tell the police. This is obviously not child pornography