August 17, 2019
Wow. I don’t think I’ve had that many people on the blog since the Target thigh gap incident.
First and foremost, THANK YOU. For being real with me. Some of you feel completely inspired and some of you are disappointed and angry. Same story. Same facts. Polar opposite reactions. Neither of you are wrong.
Here’s the thing guys. This 90 journey is MY 90 day journey. My blog is going to be a place for me to journal openly and genuinely talk about my feelings, my numbers, my food, and whatever else is on my mind. I finally feel inspired to write again – after years of being suppressed by other people’s opinions.
For the past several years, I’ve become more and more vanilla and I hate that SO MUCH. I found myself catering to the few that felt my posts rubbed them the wrong way instead of just being me and sticking to my mission. To be quite honest, I have lost myself these past several years. I’ve become a person that bends so much for other people that I don’t even know who I am supposed to be anymore. That’s why you may have noticed that I stopped writing all together. I went from 7 posts a week to maybe 7 posts a year.
Yesterday, people told me not to share my journey, not to share my weight, not to share what I’m eating, not to share my measurements, not to share my before pictures, and not to share my goals. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to listen to those demands.
When it comes to GETTING THINGS DONE, I’m not a wishy washy person. I am specific with my goals. And that is why numbers work for me.
Yes of course working out is about being happy and getting stronger – DUH! That is what I preach and I fully live it everyday! But for anyone who argued that a better idea would have been to make strength or reps a goal – remember, that’s another number too. It’s just that the scale has so much emotion attached to it. I get it. I didn’t step on the scale for YEARS until I realized that I cannot let a number have that much power over my self worth. I’ve learned to change my mindset and understand that the scale is here to simply give me information. My weight is simply a data point. The scale doesn’t tell the whole story, but it’s a part of the story – like body fat %, muscle mass, and height, and I’m not one to deny myself of information.
It takes a lot to step on a scale and not feel bad about yourself. Girl, I get you. I HAVE BEEN THERE. Look – there’s freedom in throwing away a scale. But, there’s EMPOWERMENT in stepping on a scale and being emotionally unattached to the number. I’ll save that for another blog post.
To those that feel disappointed, my blog posts will not serve you for the next 90 days. But like the title of my last blog post said…I’m “doing this for myself.” I’m not going to be suppressed anymore.
I’m not a different Cassey. I’m not a changed Cassey. I’m the same Cassey, but as of yesterday, I made the decision to be a free Cassey who’s back to be real and unafraid, like she once was. If you don’t feel like this is the right Cassey for you, then we may not be right for each other anymore. Whatever decision you make, I respect it because you should read the content that helps you be the best version of you. Period.
Now – MOVING ON.
DAY 1 RECAP:
Food was pretty simple yesterday and I did not feel hungry. I ABSOLUTELY love not having to count calories or track macros. A POPster mentioned she is doing something similar to my diet and she is calling it “Lazy Keto.” I kinda like that. Maybe I’ll call it that too.
Also, I am such a sucker for writing things down. Every time I fill out these boxes, I feel like I’m finishing my homework or checking off a box! I honestly can’t wait to see all 90 pages filled out in my Fit Journal at the end of this. It’ll be like my little fitness storybook.
Here’s what my meals look liked:
That mush in the bottom left hand corner is shredded chicken mixed with avocado and avocado mayo. Mayo was not necessary at all but I wanted to experiment! 2 scrambled eggs. Pico de gallo and avocado salsa. YUM.
Okay, I bought this 2 pack bowl thing from Costco that had “WHOLE 30” plastered across it and I was like YESSS TAKE MY MONEY. (Honestly label anything “whole 30” and “paleo” and I’ll pretty much buy it :P) Unfortunately this tender beef bowl with cauliflower rice and mushroom was…THE WORST! It had zero flavor and tasted like water. So I brought out my Nom Nom Paleo magic mushroom powder and seasoned on the spot. Thank goodness because the powder SAVED IT. I think soy sauce or coconut aminos could have saved it too. But seriously Costco buyers, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!???
Sam wanted to go out last night even though he knew it was Day 1 of my 90 day journey. I was a little hesitant but I’m pretty good at annoying the waiter and making things work. Luckily, the place we went to had this in season salad that looked incredible and tasted even more incredible. That’s a chicken salad with strawberries, blueberries, goat cheese, and almonds. The dressing was balsamic vinaigrette. SO GOOD.
You can see what else I snacked on that day in my journal entry above!
Wow, 2 days of blogging in a row. I am so proud of myself 😀 I’m feeling really good right now – really alive – and so much more like myself. I can’t wait for tomorrow! What class should I take?