May 9, 2018
You know, these days social media has been getting on my nerves. Specifically some of the comments I’ve been reading on Instagram and Facebook. Everyone seems to be offended at literally everything. It seems that people think they can tell you how to look, what to post, and then threaten to unfollow you because you’ve “changed”.
You see, I got engaged last year, so I always knew that making a Bridal Bootcamp series was in the cards for me! It was so fun to finally create the Bridal workout calendar for all my Blogilates Brides, including myself. I’ll be getting married to my fiancé Sam this Fall and I will be wearing some of the most extravagant dresses I’ve ever worn in my entire life! So…if you were wondering if I was going to do anything special in terms of my food and my workouts, the answer is DUH.
But turns out some people didn’t like hearing that.
“You’re such a hypocrite. Aren’t you supposed to be body positive?”
“Why can’t you just be happy with your body?”
“Why do you have to make other brides feel like they have to lose weight before their wedding?”
“You’re sending a bad message about body image with the Bridal Bootcamp.”
On one hand, I get that wanting to work out harder and eat better might make it SEEM like I don’t love my body. But the key word here is “seem”. Because body image is a state of mind, and you’re not inside my head, you can’t tell me what my intentions, my goals, and my feelings are. Plus, who ever said that you couldn’t be body positive while wanting to transform your body?
These two things are not mutually exclusive.
Here’s the problem you guys. I think we all know that fat shaming is not okay. And the whole body positive movement has been incredibly amazing in making that message clear. As I was gaining weight a few years ago after my bikini competition, it was so helpful to see other women embracing their natural curves, rolls, and cellulite! It made me love my body more. I also think it has helped to normalize beauty standards. Social media and the body positive movement really did us good.
But, there always seems to be a point where the movement and the message goes from creating positive change to then being misunderstood and then abused.
This is the case with skinny shaming and in this case, weight loss shaming! I’m glad society is finally learning that it’s NOT OKAY to tell someone they’re fat. But this doesn’t make it okay to say the exact opposite. You can’t choose to be body positive one way but not the other!
So when it comes to me wanting to work out harder and eat better for my wedding, can someone please tell me what is wrong with that? I want to work hard so that on my wedding day my skin is glowing, I feel confident in my dress, and I feel amazing walking down the aisle. So yeah – my body is going to change and yeah – I’m gonna love it.
Now let me clarify something. Just because I’m changing, does not mean I can’t also cherish my body at the same time.
Let that sink in.
Just because I’m changing, does not mean I can’t also cherish my body at the same time.
We must learn to love our journey at every micro step of the way. THAT is what body positivity means. Change in no way means self hatred. Change is simply our progress. All the mini befores, mini nows, and mini afters will be strung together to create our unique journey.
So if you currently have a problem seeing someone evolve, I ask that you look within yourself. Why are you so upset? Why are you so offended? Why do you assume this person (or me in this case) hates their body? That is a lot of energy you’re spending worrying about someone else when you could be spending it on bettering yourself.
So there you go guys! Main takeaway? Stop hating on people’s bodies and start loving on people’s character.