Dear Cassey: I’m tired of letting myself down.

Dear Cassey,

I felt I needed a change. I just didn’t feel good, like the best version of myself. So I started my own 90 Day Journey a couple of weeks ago. I wrote down my why and my purpose. I was so excited. But now I don’t see the changes.

I want to find that joy. I want to feel good for me. But I felt like I got tired of it. And I feel like I let myself down. I’m so disappointed in me. I missed filling out my journal lately and I don’t eat in a way that make me feel good.

How do you deal with letting yourself down?


Searching For The Best Version of Myself

Hey Searching,

Ugh. I definitely know the feeling of letting myself down. This might sound weird, but I’m actually EXCITED for you. You’re on your journey! And here’s the thing – no one’s journey is linear. I didn’t just wake up one day, start my 90 Day Journey, and march straight into my goals.

Nope. Didn’t happen like that at all.

Actually, to be honest, it took me YEARS to finally commit and find a solid plan for my journey that worked for ME. And in the end, I learned that was the little detail I was missing all along. What I was doing had to be for me. I learned that the reason I kept letting myself down was because even though I thought I was setting goals for my own benefit, deep down I was really doing it for someone else. Or because of what other people thought. When I finally dug deep and got painfully honest with myself, something just clicked. I set out to do what I needed to do FOR ME, in the best way FOR ME.

So that’s where you can start. Circle back to your “why,” get comfy, and really think it through. You said you want to feel good for you, which is awesome! You deserve to feel amazing, and you will get there! But it might help to dig a little deeper and think about all of the things that aren’t making you feel your best right now. This is where journaling is super helpful. Just let your thoughts and feelings flow – you might be surprised what you learn about yourself!

Next, you have to commit to keeping promises to yourself. MAKE IT A PRIORITY. You are your own best friend, so treat yourself like you would your bestie! That means sticking to things you know will help you grow, but also giving yourself grace when you get off track. Like I said, the journey you’re on isn’t linear. It’s totally normal to get off track, learn from it, and jump back on when you’re making big life changes!

Finally, remember that although this is your journey, that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. There is no shame in seeking support (psst…like you’re doing right now! I’m so happy you reached out!), so lean on people you love or the POP community. You might be surprised to find how many of us are struggling with the exact same things! Coming together for encouragement, advice or just to vent is super helpful.

I hope this inspires you to keep going! The hardest part of your journey is already over – STARTING! I’m so proud of you for doing this for yourself and I know you’re going to make some big changes. Just remember that change takes time and consistency. Take it one step at a time, and acknowledge every single accomplishment, no matter how small!

PS – If you have a burning question you want to ask me, leave a comment below! You may be featured in an upcoming Dear Cassey post!

24 thoughts on “Dear Cassey: I’m tired of letting myself down.”

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  1. Raquel says:

    HI, Cassey!

    I love your workouts but squats really hurt my knees right now. Do you have any lower body workouts that don’t include squats?

    Thanks so much!

    1. blogilates says:

      Yes, so many! Look up some of the thigh workouts I have on Youtube!

  2. Just me says:

    Dear Cassey,
    I have following your routine for quite some years now and I think it’s safe to say YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
    This pandemic has really been a great year/way for me to cope up w everything but now as life goes back to normal I’m just not able to do it. I feel depressed more than ever and I just wanna give up. I have zero time for anything other than studying and I can’t do it anymore. I don’t even have friends and I’m really cheerful each day. It’s just my personality but internally I have never felt more hopeless. I wanna quit.

  3. Bonnie says:

    Dear Cassey,
    Working out for me…I have fibromyalgia, working out can be a challenge. Over the years I just do what I can do I do miss the old me when I could work out a lot more. But you’re right Cassey, you have to do it for yourself! If you don’t you will never stick with it. Thank you for getting me through this pandemic and the difficult times with your upbeat positive ways make for an enjoyable way to stay fit.❤

  4. Penguin510 says:

    Dear Cassey,
    I’ve been doing your workouts for a while now and they have really been working but my struggle is food. I never know when I’m hungry or just craving something. Sometimes I just eat because I think I’m hungry but actually I’m just craving that certain food. How do I tell if I’m actually hungry compared to if it’s just a craving???
    Oddly hungry

  5. Pau says:

    Hello Cassey,
    I’ve been your follower for years and you are my inspiration to stay in shape… but my shape is changing recently, because I’m pregnant! 🙂 Hence my request – could you make some pilates videos for preggos? Or maybe advise, which one of your past videos would be suitable for working out during pregnancy? I’m sure a lot of girls would appreciate that <3 Thank you for always being there for us.

  6. Julie Allan says:

    I absolutely love your classes and you have made me actually look forward and enjoy exercising daily
    I want to Thank you for that

    1. blogilates says:

      That is soooo good to hear!

  7. Sarah says:

    Hi Cassey!,
    I’ve been doing the 21 day challenge. So far, I’ve been loving the addition of weights resistance bands, booty bands, etc. Can you keep doing workouts like these please? I’m 34 and have been encountering a struggle with losing the poundage. Lately, it’s been cold and I’ve just been sitting around on the couch. Haven’t been walking much either. I really want to lose the belly flab however. It’s been bugging me.
    Flab to Fab?

  8. Jess says:

    Dear Cassey,
    I have taken up running alongside your monthly calendars and challenges. But while my stamina got better and I could run for loger periods of time without a break, I started getting some immense pain in my hips and knees. My doctor told me to slow it down and do intervals once the pain was gone. Other than that he advised me to do some workouts that strengthens these joints. The thing is, no matter how short my intervals are, I still get that pain. And I don’t know what exercises are good to strengthen my joints. Can you recommend some workouts for me?

  9. elmaried says:

    Dear Cassey,
    I have been skinny my whole life… It’s my genetics. I am constantly hearing people that I love, and strangers make comments about my body, and tear me down. I don’t believe I am too skinny, I am in the best shape of my life, and go to the doctor regularly and ask questions about my weight. But… Sometimes you start to believe something when you hear it often enough. The things that people say to me are so hurtful, an awful. My usual response is, “My body is fine the way it is.” But when it’s my “friends” saying it, and bullying me, it gets to me sometimes. How do I deal with the thoughts that come to mind?

    Sincerely, El

  10. Chavini says:

    I have been going on & off my journey..I was feeling demotivated lately because my body was making absolutely no progress! Your kind words actually has helped alot on keep going! I started reminding my self ” try & try one day you can fly!” I’ve been working out consistently from a year now, changed my diet, started journaling too, could this be a health issue I’m not making any progress?

  11. Alex says:

    Hi Cassey,
    I love your 21 Day Tone challenge! I’ve been exercising daily, and I’m so happy to be getting stronger. Recently my husband has been joining me for workouts! Have you ever thought about creating an exercise series with Sam? During quarantine we’ve had so much fun working out together, and having a workout buddy has pushed both of us to do more.
    Fit Together

    1. Julia says:

      I would love to see a couples’ series featuring Sam!!

  12. Elizabeth says:

    Hi Cassey!
    So, I just started working out last year around Christmas time. I thought that I was being honest with myself that I was doing it for me but the truth is…I was doing it for my crush all along. Even now, I find that when I work out and it gets hard, I think of him and how maybe he’ll like me if I’m skinnier. I want to change my mindset but It’s tough. Any tips?

  13. Jessica says:

    dear cassey, i started the third month of my 90 day journey. I’m doing pretty well, I only binge once, last Sunday. I left immediately but now I’m afraid of relapsing again and so I’m not enjoying my trip as before. I am always depressed because I fear the moment when I will give in to binges again. How can I let this all slip? missing a month to complete 90 days .. and after what will I do? What if I can’t keep taking care of myself?
    Love, Jessica

  14. Emily Pascente says:

    I hope that Searching for the Best Version of Myself doesn’t quit! Keep going! Cassey, I have a question. What do you do when you get injured? How do you stay motivated? I recently moved and have several autoimmune health issues that keep me from being the powerhouse that I mentally want to be. With that said, with my doctor’s blessing, they want me to work out! Sometimes I have to take it slower and take breaks (many breaks) during your videos just to finish. But I recently tore a tendon in my knee while moving. I’ve been resting and healing for several weeks but still cannot workout in any way that would effect my knee. Have you ever been injured? How do you stay or get back to being motivated?

    Sore Knee

  15. Alejandra says:

    Hi, i was just wandering if there is a community forum, twich or discord for all of us to get a long. In Costa Rica we are still dealing with C-pandemic, so sometimes I feel like getting some company who is working on their best version. For example rn I´m reading 5am club, and feel it has sooo mucho inspiration and power for oneself… but kinda feel sad no to be able so share it with someone.
    Dear Cassey community…. are you over there? can we get in touch?

    1. Kathryn🏃🏻‍♀️ says:

      Hey that sounds like a great idea!! I am actually on discord if you wanted to connect. My username and tag is Kathryn#7131

  16. So Frustrated says:

    Dear Cassey,

    I’ve been working out for several years and I love your videos. However, I have a hard time progressing. One of my big goals is to get strong (and visible) abs. I’ve done your foundational ab video over and over again as well as many other ab workouts. I usually workout at least every other day and eat a healthy-ish diet (I am a mostly recovered anorexic so I can’t do anything extreme). No matter what I try, my abs get fatigued super fast, my neck and hip flexors start kicking in, and I can’t even properly perform basic moves like the rollup or the sit up consistently. I’ve tried using resistance bands, weights, momentum, etc. But I still can’t build up to a regular rollup consistenly. I know it’s a journey but I feel like at this point I should see more progress! I do have a low back scoliosis but my chiropractor is working on it and I still want to work my abs. It’s so frustrating to deal with and I don’t know what to do. I know that my core isn’t completely weak because I can do a slow leg lower while keeping my back flat, but after awhile of ab work I can’t even do this. How can I build endurance and strength in my abs?

    So Frustrated

    1. Glo says:

      Hi So Frustrated, first of all congratulation to have passed through your EA ! That’s something incredible that should never been minimalize. Second of all : abs !!! This belly that pissed off so much of us when it doesn’t do things the way we want it to do it… I think that the fact that you focus only on this may be the reason why : I’m not that sure but when you focus on only one part of your body, you work on it only in one way. I think it’s important to work out your body in different way to work out your abs different way (for example, you can clean a room as much as you need for a month, even with weight, it’s never going to be a workout exercice because it will not challenge you this way, so it will never help you physically). I think you should still do abs work but w/ other workout. I’m not saiying “gain in glute” or blablabla but when you do an abs exercice, it make work another part of your body (for example the plank make work your core, abs, arm) and sometimes, to amplify the work on your abs, you have to contract other part of your body too so, don’t be scared to do a full body workout, cardio full body workout and flexibility workout. This way your abs will contract in a different way that will help you in your abs workout. I’m sure Cassey will do something in her workout without we realize that to help you : even if she doesn’t answer to everybody directly by replying, her schedule and workout always show it. Keep pushing because you are definetly on the right way : The end of the tunnel is right there even if you can’t see it ! With all my love, Glo.

      1. So Frustrated says:

        Hi Glo! Thank you so much for your beautiful and thoughtful reply. It really makes me feel encouraged and like a part of the community. I do love me a full body burn and some cardio, but I will keep it up! Thank you for sharing your positivity and love.

        1. Glo says:

          Hi again ! Then maybe you’ve got the “same” problem that I have. Years ago I had a thumb surgery and I don’t know the hell they have done but I know I have to do it again to fix it. I need to work on my body w/ weight now but with my hand… Even in plank I’m struggling. Like Cassey said your journey is yours and it’s never gonna be linear. She made an itw w/ one of her friend Lisa 2 days ago in the YouTube channel Women of impact : allow yourself to be flexible. I think focus on back workout first then I think the rest will follow naturally w/ the same goal in mind. (And of course we are a community !)