Can’t hurt me. | Day 22 of 90
The title of this blog post is the title of the book I am reading called “Can’t Hurt Me” by David Goggins.
For too many years, I have allowed negative comments from strangers to affect my emotional well-being and I need to stop letting people have control over me, my mind, my body, and my journey.
I’m almost done with the book, and I HIGHLY recommend you read it. I find myself literally (as in audibly) saying “YES” under my breath every time David says something that rings so true for me, but that I have been afraid to express for fear of being called names. His whole thing is “stay hard” and let me tell you – this Navy Seal is one of the hardest people I’ve ever learned about. He was a victim of child abuse, he’s run on broken legs (literally), has completed over 60 ultramarathons and seems to have hacked the potential of the human mind.
My goal with reading this book is to figure out how to not let other people’s opinions of me bother me. Like, why do I STILL give them that power? WHY do I give them the power to hurt me?
I hope I have an answer after I finish the last few chapters.
But one thing I do want to mention before I get into my meal plan for week 4:
I am sick of the sexism that goes into play when a female wants to be intense, be hard, and push her limits. Why is it that she is labeled “unhealthy”, “unrealistic”, and a “bad role model”? Why can a man do it and be inspirational? Why, when I do it, do people feel it’s ok to tell me to chill out and to focus on more important things, like being a mother? And, why do people feel like they can tell me how much to work out, how much to eat, and how I should be running my business and my life?
Honestly, I was getting so sick of all of this that I was about to just stop the blog posting, stop the IG posts, stop the IG stories, and just be like – kay, you don’t get to be a part of my journey, you don’t get the privilege of my transparency, you don’t get to taste my vulnerability, see ya – I’ll be back in 90 days.
But that would mean that I gave in.
That would mean I became weak.
And that is not what I am trying to do. I am on this 90 day Journey to get in the STRONGEST shape of my life physically, mentally, and emotionally.
See why defining your Why is so important? It was in this time of weakness that I NEEDED my Why. I needed my Why to tell me to keep going. And it did just that, so here I am, pushing on into week 4, trying t0 stay hard, and unhurt.
Week 4 meal Plan:
I am REALLY excited about my meal plan this week because it’s all of my fave meals from the past 3 weeks, tweaked to perfection!
I’ve decided to stay in the 1800 calorie range for now with all macros generally the same as last week’s meal plan. It’s also the FINAL week of my Month 1 Workouts! Cannot wait to write a new plan this weekend and get my Dexa Scan next Wednesday.
Looking forward, next month’s workouts will have less reps so I can lift heavier. Food wise, I will generally keep things the same (well, unless my Dexa Scan tells me otherwise) until the final couple weeks out, aka my faux “bikini prep week”! Still wondering…should I buy an over the top sparkly bikini, wear clear heels, and do a faux walk across the stage…at home!!?? OMG wait, should I get a fake tan? But like, not be a hot cheeto this time!??? Hahaha. WE SHALL SEE HOW DEEP I GET.
But I mean, if we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna DO THIS, right??
37 thoughts on “Can’t hurt me. | Day 22 of 90”
There are 37 comments posted by our users.
Cassey, you are great! You are such a beautiful woman, inside and out. You are a fitness queen. I started my muscle gain journey in November. It is very interesting to see, we are doing very similar. Keep up the great work!!! Hugs, Bee
Love that we’re doing this together!
PLEASE go all in!! Haha that would be amazing! You are such an inspiration Cassey <3
*hugs* You are doing great at being you.
First, those jerks trying to put you down suck. If they weren’t on the internet, I would drop-kick them. But oh well. Second, you should totally wear your bikini! Have Sam be the judge, and award you a medal/trophy. Or dont. It’s up to you. Just know we all love you here!
I also just wanted to advise that I’m not sure Dexa Scans are the best measure of progress for a short term 90 day journey. It’s totally up to you, but I have to have bone scans annually for a health condition, and usually even for young adults in their late teens and 20s it takes up to 3 to 4 months for diet and excersize to start showing a difference via an increase (or decrease) bone density. There might be cheaper and more awesome ways to measure your progress, the pictures are inspiring even by themselves
Cassey have always loved you and your videos, and found you really inspirational. I do agree with what some people below have said though about how you react to some comments that are just constructive criticism in contrast to the negative ones. You have to do what makes you happy, and you’re always so strong, but you always used to make me feel so heard and genuinely cared about. These days though sometimes I feel like you don’t want to hear from us unless it’s what you want to hear. We love you though and respect your decisions, you know what’s best for you.
I’m always open to constructive criticism and honestly appreciate feedback! My issue is with people who question my intentions and knowledge unfairly or make judgements about my plan when they aren’t qualified themselves or know my body.
Cassey, for all that is holy, please do not do the fake tan!!! It’s so inconvenient and you have to be careful about touching everything.
I do have one question – which brands of vegan protein powder would you recommend for those pancakes? I wanna give them a whirl.
I’m testing out a few! Orgain vanilla is one, and it’s pretty good.
I think you should! Maybe even have Sam read a bunch of positive comments about you while you do it, just so its a complete experience since you talked about the judges criticing you in the past. I think you’re awesome and you being open about loving data and being goal driven has made me feel a lot more comfortable gathering my own data without worrying im being unhealthy even though I feel its a positive thing.
Omg I love this!
Cassey I’ve been loving following along your journey, and yes just block out all the noise and negativity! Recently I’ve seen YouTube videos from other small creators judging your 90 journey and oh my goodness, I am sick and tired of the judgement FOR you. They also do it cuz mentioning your name literally gets them views lol. When someone is successful and bad-ass like you, people will always have something to say and nitpick about. People with the negative comments are literally just jealous of your drive, motivation, positivity, and/or business success. I love your transparency and vulnerability, and you’re such a great role model within the Asian American community as well. You do you girl! Cheering you on always!
Just wanted to say, Cassey, that you’ve been a huge inspiration for lots of people, including me! I won’t pretend to know what you have gone through to get to where you are right now, but I think that your 90 day journey to reclaiming what strength means to you is beautiful and wonderful and more importantly, so STRONG and inspirational. Saying this probably won’t help, but I am so, so, sorry that there are people that are judging you for being you, for being a woman, for what you’ve done, because you are the last person to deserve this. Hearing you document how these past few weeks have been for you have been incredibly inspirational and is MOST DEFINITELY a testament to your mental strength and phsyical strength. We’re here cheering you on every step of the way! <3 Ary
Oh, and also, if you’re feeling it and there’s more good memories associated with it than bad, I think you should wear the bikini that you and your mom made together 👙💕 not only was it very, very pretty, but I love that you 2 made it together, and as a mom, I bet it would make your mom glow with pride to see how you’ve evolved and grown into the strong, fierce woman you are today, but that that’s still her baby girl who she helped with DIY projects :’) like….total full circle ❤️ just my 2 cents, anyway. 😘
I don’t think some women understand that you’re not just a fitness teacher, you’re also an ARTIST, and being married to a heavy metal musician, I know from firsthand experience in the scene that artists of any kind generally only know artistic or emotional extremes 😂 it fuels the painting or the music, and I would imagine the same feelings drive your fashion design! You’re an artist who happens ot love love LOVE fitness, and part of your artistry likes to appear in literal human form, art in human motion. It’s quo e beautiful, really, and part of what makes you so special and unique to me in this strange world of fitness videos. I’m so proud of you, and so very happy to be one of your long distance students ❤️ Keep crushing it, Cassey!!! Love you!
Cassey, I think you are a great person and I can tell you are passionate about what you do. One thing I find worrying, however, is how you perceive constructive criticism. Of course, there are comments that are just plain troll/hate with no actual substance but there are people who have actually commented very valid things about how you are approaching this challenge. Those comments do not bash you or what you are trying to achieve in any way – they have just stated facts. I think it’s worth taking the time to even talk to the people behind them, in order to clear things up, I am sure they meant well. You got me hooked on pilates and I want to support you but it’s very hard for me to justify some of your reactions when it comes to meaningful criticism 🙁
I agree. I feel like in this community, anything but praise is considered hate and negativity. I feel bad for the people who are knowledgable and clearly trying to be helpful, not disrespectful. I always appreciate reading those comments and I don’t find them hateful at all! (Of course trolls are hurtful though and should be ignored.)
Exactly. This was my first thought too, none of the blog comments have been hate comments. Starting to think that the only acceptable comments to Cassey are from yes men…
I am definitely speaking to the “troll” commentors in the response you’re referring to! I always welcome constructive criticism and I know many people questioning my “methods” truly come from a good place. I respond to those comments personally as often as possible! And of course I always want this community to be a place where we can all be open and transparent. That’s why I feel comfortable with being open about my feelings here. In the past, I would ignore comments from people questioning my integrity, intentions, and even intelligence. It did some serious damage to my mental health, which is why I refuse to tolerate those kinds of comments now.
You do you. Let them do them. You are the best you there is, and you are so generous in sharing your journey, warts and all with us. And if the haters hate, just disable the comments section! You’re an inspiration and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
People don’t like other people making them uncomfortable. That’s all it boils down to. Your way of life throws up a red flag for some people, and in our world, people get to say whatever they want…and they do. 🤷🏼♀️ Great job trying to figure out how to stop letting it bother you. I’m right there with yah! And my hubby loves that book! I’ll have to read it too.
Thank you! And yes definitely read it!
I’m glad you spoke out. My grandfather was an olympic medalist for basketball. Whenever we let someone’s critisicm affect us, he would simply ask us: “Who are they?” It was a reminder that they were a stranger or someone whom we didn’t really care about their opinion anyway. Keep on track with YOUR goals! If it was my 90 day, I’d ofc do things differently, because it’s my body! Not yours! And I’m not about to should on you. Hang in there 🙂
Yes! Get the sparkly bikini!
On the sexism point:
I think one of the issues here may be that you recently posted that you and Sam are trying for a baby (yay!) but now you are entering into this strict eating plan and on a muscle building journey. You’ve been transparent with your audience so far and for that I commend you, but this point does leave me a little confused because having a baby and gaining a bunch of muscle are kind of opposite goals. Maybe you have decided to put the baby thing on hold for a while and that’s fine but I don’t believe you’ve told your audience anything to that effect (if I’m wrong kindly point me in the right direction.) While I quite believe in having a fit pregnancy (I worked out right up until the day I delivered), I do believe that this journey in particular puts more stress on your body which may not help you conceive.
On the intensity point:
Why so much cardio if your primary goal is to gain muscle?
I agree with Laura! I was confused when you announced this challenge after you mentioned that you and Sam were “officially trying.” As a mom of two, I was excited to hear this! But it seems counterintuitive to embark on this type of intense training while trying to conceive. Of course if you’ve changed your mind about kids that’s okay too, but since you’ve been so transparent about your plans to have children it might be worth an explanation to your audience. Speaking from experience it is HARD to get pregnant while exercising a lot/too much. No hate, just wondering what your thought process was/is. Best of luck to you.
Go Casssey Goooo!!! You got this!! Stay hard stay tough 💪
The past two years of my own fitness journey have taught me to become mentally tougher. I had to learn to ignore the weight comments from my friends, the fat shaming from my parents, and what society expects from me. I remember a blog post that said you were a people pleaser and empathetic. There’s so much noise out there and I wonder if you it would help to also embark on a “mental toughness” journey.
Also, have you taken the enneagram test yet??! It’s like Myers Briggs but waaaaay better.
This. Is. Fire. Thank you so much for giving me a great comeback phrase for anyone questioning my goals. I support you.
You are amazing and so inspiring! Screw those negative opinions, most people who leave negative comments have nothing better to do with their lives and find pleasure in tearing people down to make themselves feel better. They find temporary self satisfaction then when it wears odd they move on to the next person to tear down. Keep your chin up, you got this! Do not give thise people your time or energy, it will go to waste. Just continue being you! 🥰
Off * not odd 😑
These* not thise 😮💨
Girl. You do you! Tom Brady is strict with his food, diet, and exercise and people consider him the greatest of all time. Every person is different, only you truly know what is going on with your body. How can someone trust you for their fitness journey but doubt you on yours? Just do your best at turning off the noise and focus on kicking ass.
Maybe there is sexist undertone to some comments. But for the most part I think the reason people criticise you I’d because you say your why is to be the healthiest version of yourself. Doing something extreme and super challenging and the healthy way to do things usually don’t go hand in hand. I understand that you enjoy the challenge of pushing yourself close to the limit but that really can’t be portrayed as sth to do with health or wellness.
But why cant something challenging also be considered healthy? I don’t believe that the 2 have to be mutually exclusive.
Your comment that Cassey pushing herself isn’t healthy is exactly what she addressed in her post! We are not her doctors or her nutritionists; who is anyone to say what is healthy for Cassey except Cassey and any trusted professionals she engages?
Considering she’s been a fitness professional for over a decade, it’s also a little ignorant for anyone to assume think she has no idea what she’s talking about when it comes to her personal health plans.
*assume or think
Of course pushing limits can ne healthy. That’s how couch potatoes can turn into active persons. That IS also how athletes train to become winners.
Pushing limits IS how people become better versions of themselves and can do better than they Have done before.
I would suggest yli try pushing your limits to see how great IT feels to reach new levels of working out, or on other Fields in your Life, like compassion and nonjudgement on people who like trying their best snd giving their all to achieve their best