October 18, 2011
A Sweaty Wardrobe Malfunction caused by a Sweaty Workout Routine
Uhhh so yesterday I went to the gym and decided to wear these shorts by Nike that I had bought like 7 years ago. They’re pretty cute booty style shorts in light brown. I was totally psyched about doing my new gym routine that I had looked up earlier that day. I was totally gonna KILL IT at the gym.
30 min in, I’m feeling awesome, like yeah I’m totally conquering these burpees, squats, and pushups. I leave the weight room and head over to the PT area where there’s more room to do the next part of my workout. THEN. I notice it.
I notice that my butt in completely wet and it outlines the shape of my thong.
So I sit my butt down and pretend to stretch like nothing’s wrong. I’m in butterfly style position and OMG. My inner thigh area near my groin is wet too.
It looked like I peed all over my pants!!!
I try doing some ab moves, anything that will keep me from standing up – maybe it will dry in the next 10 minutes?
Stood up after some bicycles and crunches…and it was still there. I urged myself to keep working out…I wasn’t done yet. So I tried using machines where I didn’t have to show my butt area or inner thighs. No luck. Everything was taken. Why didn’t I bring a sweatshirt!!??!!
I tried covering my butt with my waterbottle but it was still too obvious. Darn light brown shorts from Nike. I thought I was DRI-FIT protected!!!
So I made it to about 45 minutes and had the “arms” section of my workout left, but couldn’t bear working out any more. The sweat had now outlined my whole underwear. UNACCEPTABLE.
So I packed up and left VERY QUICKLY.
Now I know some of you may be thinking, “You left because you were scared of what other people thought?” Umm actually, yes. Sports bra sweat is ok. Armpit sweat is ok. A little butt sweat is ok. But when it’s sweaty in your “area” it is NOT OK in my book. I don’t think anyone wants to see that. And I could no longer function because I was too self conscious.
Note to self: Only wear dark colored bottoms or REAL sweat wicking materials for working out. I think the shorts were dri-fit 7 years ago though…they are going to the donation pile.
MY WORKOUT ROUTINE YESTERDAY:
|1. 10 squats, 10 burpees until you reach 50 (for rounds 2 & 3, add weights)|
|2. 30 alternating knee to same elbow in plank|
|3. 10 power (jumping) lunges|
|4. 10 burpees w/ pushup|
|5. 10 straight leg dead lifts|
|6. 10 hanging leg raises|
|CHEST & ABS|
|1. 10 power pushups|
|2. 20 bicycles|
|3. 20 crunches|
|1. 10 inverted pull up rows at Smith Machine|
|2. 10 dumbbell pullovers on ball|
|3. 10 plank on ball w/ alt knee taps on ball|
|SHOULDERS & ABS|
|1. 10 front raises|
|2. 10 lat raises|
|3. 10 overhead presses|
|4. 20 plank knee to opp. elbows|
|1. 10 bicep curls|
|2. 10 closed pushups on medicine ball|
If you aren’t sure what some of these moves are, just look them up on YouTube. Cycle through each muscle group section 3x. Have fun! Now tell me, what would it take to get you to stop a workout at the gym? Would you keep working out if you looked like you peed in your pants? C’mon, be honest!!