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Ashamed of Gaining Weight

Hey POPsters,

Have you ever been in a situation where you walk into a family party and a female relative walks up to you and says, “Oh you look fat!” or “Looks like you gained some weight!” (If you are from an Asian family, I know you know what I mean.)

Like, what are you supposed to say? Is that a question you’re supposed to actually answer?

“Yeah, I did”?? And then uncomfortably mumble something to move the conversation past your physical appearance?

There’s 2 problems here.

1. To say that to someone, especially a girl, it’s hurtful and damaging to her self-esteem.

2. You shouldn’t have to feel ashamed for gaining weight. But we all do.

The reason why I bring this up is because after this past ABC ABS video, I started getting some comments asking the same very thing my Asian Auntie would say:

“Your legs look bigger. Did you gain weight?”

“Not to be mean but did you have too many YOLO Meals?”

“What happened to your inner thigh gap?”

“How could you let this happen?”

Does gaining weight discredit me as a fitness instructor? Am I a failure? Am I lazy? Do I have no self control? Does that change who I am? Why does it matter? Why all the labels?

To answer the elephant in the room and for everyone who wanted to hear me confirm it, yes guys, I did gain weight.

I’m not mad at the people who asked this question because hey, if you wanna know you wanna know. But who I am upset at is myself…not for gaining weight, but for feeling ASHAMED for gaining weight.

As you know, the past few months I did the big move from SF to LA, adjusted to my new place, traveled a ton, and started focusing on new projects, making it hard to stick to a set diet and workout schedule. In fact, I had to delay my bikini competition because of it all. You know, it will be 1 year since my first bikini competition on May 5th. I remember those 10 weeks of hard training and dieting. I remember the discipline and mental focus it took to workout for soooo many hours a day. To eat just chicken breast, broccoli, and egg whites every day. To be so exhausted that it was hard to even think straight. But I also remember stepping on stage in my cheetah bikini with those high heels and strutting my new, super tanned body, showing off the most defined muscles I ever had. It was exhilarating and not gonna lie, I love those pictures. I had never seen my body like that before. Dieting down and losing weight…it was hard. Really, really hard. But at the end, it was extremely satisfying to reach a place I didn’t think was possible.

cassey ho bikini npc

If you read my blog last year, there was a post after the competition where I wrote about being scared of gaining the weight back. I knew it wasn’t really possible to hold my body fat percentage down so low all year. It was inevitable. I didn’t know how I would deal with it. I didn’t want it to happen.

Each week, I started to nourish my body with the goods it had wanted for so long. I no longer had to be on a calorie deficit. So I ate. And it was soulfully satisfying. My mouth savored every bite of food bursting with FLAVOR! I of course noticed a difference in the tightness of my body but made a conscious decision to not be obsessed about calories. It took a while for me to break out of the “bikini model” mentality. To tell you the truth, after the competition, I was scared of fruit. Yeah, how crazy is that? I looked at an apple and worried what it would do to me.

For those of you who are shaking your heads now…yeah…it was a slight form of body image issues and eating issues. It took some time and talking to fellow fitness friends before I could eat normally and not feel guilty about it.

Looking back now, the way I was coached to lean down for my first bikini competition may not have been the best way. It was very extreme. I did not take crazy fat burning pills or anything – I never would – but I was deprived. I felt like the diet left me so lost and dry. I felt like I needed coaching to help me “get back to normal” safely. But I didn’t have that. Because shortly after the competition, I left my trainer.

The after effects of deprivation? Eating, eating, eating. And more eating. Feeling like you’re out of diet jail. Feeling like you better take in as much food as possible before it’s taken away from you again.

You know, being a fitness instructor – your body is a source of inspiration for others. It supposed to be chiseled. Hard. Toned and tight. And when it starts becoming the backwards of a before and after picture, you start feeling like your career and your credibility are on the line.

So I feared. I feared the weight gain. I feared the scale. I feared the day one of you would say I looked fat.

And well, I guess after the ABC ABS video, it finally happened. I knew it was coming though. Yes, I did gain weight because I’m a human being. I’m a girl whose life is a little more than just gym time and meal preps! I too, just like you, eat when I am stressed. I too, just like you, can’t find time to workout when my workload becomes overwhelming. I’m not perfect! But then again…who said maintaining a low body fat percentage made you perfect!? Weight fluctuates! THIS IS LIFE.

Sigh.

Part of me feels relieved that someone said it. But part of me feels upset. In all honesty guys (and you know that with my blog, I speak the truth and don’t hide behind some perfect fitness instructor curtains only revealing what I want you to see) I’m gonna be real and say I’m a little disappointed in myself for “letting go.” But at the same time, I don’t really regret the food I ate and the rest I took that got me to where I am today.

You know why? Because I listened to my body. It needed it. It needed to recover. It needed something it was missing and I let it have it. What’s important is making that mind-body connection and feeding not just your body but your soul too.

And you know what else? I can still lift heavy. In fact, heavier. I can still run far and long. In fact, faster. I can still do my videos and teach my classes while carrying on a conversation. Just because I gained weight, it didn’t mean I lost all my hard work. I’m still fit and healthy and progressing everyday. Isn’t that the ultimate goal?

So yeah, I have a thicker layer of fat on top of my abs. Cool. I’ll start eating super duper clean on a consistent basis and train harder for some weeks, and I will have my bikini body back. Seriously guys, it’s not a big deal! It’s all about resilience. If you feel like you’ve fallen off track, just get up. Just get up and start over NOW.

All I ask of you is that you not judge someone for their looks. I know, sounds so motherly of me to have to say that right? But seriously. What matters is how someone treats you, how they make you feel, and their honest and genuine intent.

I hope this post resonated with some of you. Don’t feel bad if your pants are tight again. Remember, it doesn’t change who you are. Just power on and embrace the ups and downs of life. It just makes the triumphs that much sweeter.

Take care guys and let me know in the comments if you’ve ever dealt with someone calling you fat.

<3 Cassey

 

The Conversation (1,419)

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  • Saori-Luna says:

    All my life I’ve been under my healthy weight, I think it is a metabolism thing, I watched photos of my mom and dad at my age, and they were so thin. Even when I went to the doctor and they said “you are too thin”, I couldn’t do anything, I was already eating normal, maybe more than normal.
    On those times (10 years ago) I had a friend with eating issues… someday I heard that she was talking about me behind my back and she named me as “the fat chick”. I was so upset, I mean, I was thin and still was “the fat chick”.
    Last year my thyroid started to malfunction. I began with some medication, but it was the worst idea ever, I gained 10 kgs. (I think is like 20 pounds?). I am starting to exercise to feel better about myself, to be healthier, and of course, to loose some weight. But I am so ashamed of myself, I can’t believe I let my body to gained so much weight.
    I am “the fat chick” now. Somedays I’m happy, because I now have boobs and booty, but then I remember what my friend said and think: What is she thinking now about me?
    This issues are so hard to resolve…

  • Kris James says:

    random question where is the picture taken. It looks like my campus lol

  • Brittany says:

    I don’t know if you’ll actually get to read this because I know you have a lot of followers, but this post hit me hard. My entire life I’ve been skinny. Like, SKINNY. Because I was malnutritioned due to the diet my mother had me and my siblings on. We were so skinny, people would shout things at us like, “eat a burger!” or, “put some meat on them bones!” Those things don’t sound like insults, been when you’re only eating what’s provided for you and doing what you were taught, it’s like a kick to the gut. I did eat cheeseburgers, I tried to gain weight.

    Finally I moved out of my mothers house after I graduated and turned 18, and within the first year of me moving out, I finally started to gain some weight. It was hardly noticeable, even to me at the time, but it was there. Now, I’m 26, and I’ve done a lot of healthy things that have actually made me gain weight (like quit smoking, a bad habit I picked up from having an entire family and every one of my friends smoke). However, now, I’m 30 pounds heavier than I was three years ago and I feel fat. I’m 5’4″, 142 pounds, and I feel so fat. Everyone I talk to says I look healthy, but when I struggle to get into clothes that once fit me, I can’t help but cry. Especially when I used to be the skinny girl.

    This had been a terrible experience for me because I’m not fit or healthy and I think that’s why I feel bad about my body. What’s here is just added fat. Not muscle like I wish it were.

    Every time I’ve tried to start working out in the past few years, I’ve felt it’s so unattainable and that the trainers were living unattainable lives. I thought, “well of course they’re fit and healthy, they work out for a living. That’s their job. If my job was working out, I’d be fit too.”

    While that may be partially true, my true struggle is fear that I can’t hack it. I’m terrified I’ll fail and I don’t know where to start. I’m tired and have a headache every day after work. I never feel like I can do anything to change my situation.
    Anyway, to know that someone as fit and amazingly positive and inspirational as you can feel ashamed of her body on occasion, I can’t help but think, I must just be human.
    I still am not sure where to start, but at least now I know I can.

    Sorry for the novel, but even more, thanks for sharing Cassey!

  • Nandhini says:

    I lost 20/25kg when I first entered university…now ive gained back everything and it kills me evey sibgle day. I feel like a let down and a failiure . But like what u said we are all humans too and sometimes things happen. I guess we just got to pick ourselves up again like what u said.

  • Chloe Cassandra says:

    How convenient is this post?

    My dad keeps bothering me about my weight, ever since middle school. He’ll say “Oh, you’re getting big” and when I was in high school he told me “You need to lose weight here, here, here, and here.” As you can imagine, being in high school I had very low self-esteem and that made me insanely self-conscious and unhappy with my body. He would take me shopping and then tell me “No, you’re too big for that and etc…”. I was actually the normal size and weight for my height/age. I look back at pictures at myself and I see healthy. It made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. As an adult, I just see it as a sickness to constantly criticize someone’s weight/shape/form. Now I see him criticize my 12-year old brother and 8-year old sister telling them they need to lose weight, their getting fat, and etc… It’s disgusting and sick. Even if you try to tell them that they’re fine as they are or tell him that they’re beautiful how they are… no one listens. It’s ashame. When I have kids I will NEVER make them the ones feel insecure, there’s enough cruel people in the world already. I want my children to be happy in their own skin and just know how to live a healthy lifestyle (even if it means not looking like society’s idea of “perfect” or “ideal”.)

  • Jennifer B says:

    Crazy! Cassey, you are SO beautiful, your body is healthy and in shape, and your personality and smile shine brighter then anything! :) I am 5’1″ and weigh in between 112-120 lbs depending on what level of stress, anxiety, exercise, eating patterns, etc I’m dealing with! The thing is, NO ONE is perfect, and the other thing is, weight fluctuates frequently. I go through times in life where it’s easy to exercise 5 times a week and eat as well as I can, and I look and feel great, then there are times when exercising is the last thing I want to do and that doughnut looks oh so good! Everybody has these times and feels these ways; if you deny that, you’re simply not human! There are certainly people who live very strict, disciplined lives and really don’t fall of track, ever, but that is a whole other conversation. No matter how many people try to encourage to be comfortable in your own skin and be healthy at your own level and pace, the world throws at you that you need to be vegan and 5’8″/100 lb…that is so unhealthy and absolutely ridiculous! EVERY person is different, our bodies are all different and need different things! I have 6 sisters and every single one of us is different. I’m small while another sister is tall or a little larger, and my oldest sister is smaller then us all! So, poo on the people who shame anyone, especially you because you have dedicated your life and worked so hard to be healthy and to inspire and help other to be happy and healthy with who they are. It’s not all about our physical appearances, but that’s what everyone will look it; what you can see. But guess what? There are often amazing people inside the not-so-perfect bodies, and those who are “perfect” (whatever that means to you) often are so self-centered, shallow, and can only compare and judge others to make themselves feel better.

    Thank you for promoting HEALTH, Cassey. Love and happiness and health at your own pace, wherever you are in life. I was a dancer (tap, jazz, hip-hop, ballet, modern) for 5+ years, fit as could be, but I hurt myself and had to stop and was mentally paralyzed at the thought of exercising any other way then dance! I actually ended getting sick with something that shot my endurance and stamina down to 0, and am JUST getting back to where I can easy walk and do a Blogilates cardio video without being completely winded! During dance I took pilates at a local studio and still do to this day and I love it! When I’m feeling discouraged or am not able to make an actual class, I’ve been doing YOUR videos because I love them and you are a joy to learn from, even if it’s through a computer screen! Okay, now I’m rambling…anyway, I just hope you don’t feel discouraged anymore. One last thing. There’s a quote that goes “Do not judge. You don’t know what storm I’ve asked her to walk through.–God” It’s SO true! We don’t need to judge, though we will (because we’re human), because we don’t know what anyone has been through, is going through, or will go through! Not our place to be judging jerks! Especially on someone’s appearance. It’s so easy to be completely discouraged, embarrassed, self-conscious, and afraid of being yourself; comfortable no matter what you look like, and I am so sick of people taking out their issues on other people to make themselves feel better!

    OKAY! That’s all!! When I start writing it’s hard to stop! lol! :) Blessings, much love, and to all who may come across this comment, you are AWESOME, your journey is special and set apart from everyone elses; don’t be afraid of people or what they have to say. If it’s negative and crappy, forget them and remember who you are inside and out. No matter what your outer shell looks like, your character, heart, and soul are so much more important. Nurture those things with loving people, positive environment, encouragement and self love. I’m done now…blessings and have a beautiful day!

    Jennifer B.~

    • Jennifer B says:

      P.S. Sorry for the LONG comment!!! :)

  • Olivia says:

    I totally know how you feel. A couple years ago, my grandpa asked the dreaded “did you gain weight?” question. He asked me in front of a bunch of family members, and a few seconds later, I just happened to break the chair I was sitting on! It was embarrassing and I cried. I was just a few months away from my wedding and I was struggling to fit into my dress. But after a few weeks of a more strict and healthy diet, I lost a few pounds and fit into my dress no problem. Since then I gained all the weight back and probably then some, but at 4’11” and 111 lbs. I’m still small. Reading your post made me feel better about no longer being the skinny rail I was in college. I’m still embarrassed that I’m not 90 lbs. or whatever, but I’m learning that filling out is a part of getting older, and I’m realizing that looking like a model just isn’t important to me. Thank you for posting this Cassey. :-) I’ve been following you since 2012, your stuff is so inspiring!

  • Rachel says:

    Oh my gosh I just about almost
    cried. I have 7 sisters and being one of the youngest and not wanting to be noticed as a couple of my sisters are gaining weight and needing a trainer. I keep watching your videos and trying so so hard not to be noticed for gaining weight. My sisters are known for being a bit judgmental of each other and I always feel like every week I either have to starve myself or workout to the point of my injured back to break down and not let me even move. I’m always so scared because I have such fit friends that seem like they don’t even have to try to stay in shape meanwhile I have to push myself to the point of tears every time I workout and I only see the smallest of improvement if any. I have so much stress going on with family and friends I always feel terrible with self esteem. What you said really hit me hard and I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much Cassey<3

  • Helena says:

    so you gained some weight so what, you are far from being fat that is for sure and that is all that matters. personally I think you look better now than in that leopard bikini pic. I think your too boney in places. I’m not talking muscles. YOu have those. Just too thin. For me I rather follow someone who is real than one who takes pills to be thin and pretends it’s their exercise program that is doing it for them. Good for you for not being too hard on yourself after all we are all human.

  • Sawatzky says:

    I can’t even begin to tell you that the struggle is real!!! Trust me. You just don’t hear about women being 5’4″ and nearly 150 lbs. but knowing I’m actually healthy! And remarkably strong I might add. But here’s what I cling to….I suffered a massive brain he mirage that should have claimed my life. Should have beyond question ended the life of the child I was carrying at only 9 weeks gestational. And by Gods provision. I walk and talk and dance as often as I can. My second is son is amazing and crazy smart! I don’t want to focus on how I can get skinnier….while I do want jeans to fit amazing….they’re overrated compared to the joy of being here and being a wife and mother. I want to focus on how I can enjoy life MORE! It’s a gift we take for granted every day!

  • Wee Mitchy says:

    I follow all your videos and Instagram etc. I know you say you’re a little disappointed in yourself for having “let yourself go” but that’s not what I see. I think you look great! I think you look healthy and strong. I love your full round approach to fitness. It’s not just killing yourself at the gym, but thinking of your nutrition and hydration and rest. Listening to your body is so vitally important. I likewise have gained some weight after being the super trained, toned and lean fitness buff. I too felt ashamed at having gained the weight and disappointed wondering if I had “let myself go”. But actually, I feel I’m the healthier version of myself. My previous regime was not maintainable and actually looking back, I feel it wasn’t necessarily the most healthy. I now am, like you, listening to my body and nourishing it the way I aught to and no, I am not any less fit than I was. If anything I’m better just a little bit squidgy on the sides ?
    You’re an inspiration.

  • Ro Smith says:

    I think you look amazing right now(I know this is an old post, but…) You currently look healthy and happy and it is more encouraging to see someone of a *normal* size as a trainer than someone super ripped and buff. I see how strong you are and it makes me realize that you are serious about what you do and it’s not a matter if you have 0% body fat or not. Being strong is doing what’s right for your body.

  • Linda says:

    You eat too much fat

  • Elizabeth says:

    I feel you on this. For the last two years of my life, I was THIN. 5’4′ and a 100 pounds! Great,righg?! No, because I was sick. I have Crohns Disease. My body was killing itself. And I nearly died, at my lowest I was 80 pounds. But God granted a miracle, I got better, and my disease is in remission. But I gained so much weight, like a lot. I am after a 8 months, about 180 pounds. But I can run, I can work, by everything that is good, I can LIVE. But what do I get? Fat-shaming. “You’ve have just gotten so fat!” But you know something? It is coming from people who are FAT THEMSELVES. It just sickens me. We have beautiful bodies, and by golly I can eat, and work, and play, and LIVE. But our society, my family would prefer thinness at the line of death, instead of life with some extra weight. So, your beautiful, and healthy, and screw the gap thigh. What are we, poultry? I like your program because your a shot of sunshine, and positivity. Its ok to no be perfect, and I love it. So keep shining, having fun, and leading us along. Your perfect. And so am I.

  • Dana Fawaz says:

    Today i went to say hi to my relatives and i went out walking with my cousins and lets just say they have a perfect body. all my life i hated saying hi to family you know why? because i know they are always gonna judge you whether u lost weight or gained and so today when i walked out one of the tells my mom hey your daughter has gained weight and when she said that i felt like crying because this isnt the first time someone said that and it hurts it really does not tht ive gained weight but the way people think. and it makes me feel guilty like im like that. yes my cousins litteraly have model bodies and yes i dont but i hate when people shove it up my face and compares me to them. i really just want to be happy and not think about these kind of stuiff ive been dealling woth it for the past 3 years and im tired.

  • Candance says:

    I know exactly how you feel. I started working at a fast food place maybe 3 months ago and since I’m there every day fast food is in my reach. I used to be thin… I noticed I picked up a few pounds in my stomach but I didn’t know it was noticeable a until I went to my old job today and my previous manager tells me my face has gotten fatter…. at that second I throw my food away and go home to work out. Through the mall you can see Victoria secret model ads and it just made me feel worse. I do fell worse I’ve only gained 7 pounds but I feel bad for all the food I’m eating….. I feel fat now that someone pointed it out, I asked me friend if I gained weight and he said a little. I feel very disappointed. I’m mad at myself for letting myself get to this point not saying no to the food. Now I have to be serious about my workout and dieting or I’ll gain even more weight…. as I women there are very high standards for perfection men…not so much. I hate that.

  • Jelly says:

    Oh I thought it only happens here in my country! Didn’t know it was an Asian thing :D. It’s pretty annoying, and my grandma likes saying it too to friends/relatives that she hasn’t seen for a long time. I wanna say to her, “After all these years of not talking and seeing each other, you only wanna talk about weight?”.

    Awesome blog btw Cassey! It’s my 3rd week of doing the Monthly calendar. I’m feeling a lot stronger but I am not losing weight. I think I gained some :(( Dieting is hard for me. I cannot follow the meal plans since the some of the ingredients used are expensive and not available in my country. Any help popsters?

    • Chloe Cassandra says:

      exactly? why is it relatives focus on weight, when there are more important things in life?

  • Mildred says:

    I’m from malaysia and the FIRST thing people say to me when they see me usually fluctuate around “WOW You’ve lost some weight!” to ” WOW, How did you get so fat?”

    These people connections to me range from close friends and family to people I barely meet in a year. It’s a Malaysian culture that holds “Fat is Bad and Thin is Good” dearly. I’ve seen people around me obsess on the latest diet trend, thinking drinking lemon water and eating an apple each day for 10 days straight is the WAY to be thin. We’re bombarded with weightloss ads and “I heard that if you -do something crazy-, you can lose 10kg in 4 days!” because we like the idea of getting from fat to thin in as little time and effort as possible.

    With you, I learnt the truth that nothing come easy. It’s a lifestyle change. And to do that, I need to form good habits (still in progress). I want to thank you for that.

  • […] a fitness instructor because of the weight gain. (You can find more about her story here in this link). Now that she’s found a happy medium and still doesn’t look like her bikini […]

  • […] of her dietary advice! When she was competing she said she was eating chicken breasts all the time (link to her story). After the competition she started to binge. I definitely can say that his girl has disorder. For […]

  • Rose says:

    Wow. This was absolutely inspirational, thank you Cassie for sharing your experience. I had felt so alone and terrible after I gained the weight back. But coming from the experience of someone as beautiful and kind-hearted as you, I feel so much more NOT alone. Thank you so so so much, you made my day so much better and I will keep on sticking to my fitness goals!!! Love you so much!

  • Usedtobeskinny says:

    around the year 2011 I was at my fittest – I was thin previously and had started working out, eating more protein, had a very very active lifestyle, was single, etc.

    Since then – I am married, and I have noticed in the past 2 years that I have gained weight, which has become noticeable in my face. To be honest it is only about 11 pounds more than I used to be but it made such a difference…the worst is facebook.

    Being tagged in new photos and seeing myself in pictures posted years ago. It’s super depressing.
    I didn’t see it coming – I would look at myself in the mirror and think something was off – my hair wasn’t styling the way i liked, so i started wearing hats all the time, and then i realized its not my hair, its my face that has become more round – and it does not suit my body or figure.

    I have been for the past 3 months trying to get back to how i was with a completely lighter diet, working out almost 7 days a week, and I haven’t seen that much results yet. I also get discouraged seeing people who I know who were heavier and are now extremely fit. They are able to achieve these things within 3 months (i know this when they post their progress on social media)but it seems like its taking forever for me.

    I don’t like running into people of the past because I know the first thing they think of is how I look chubbier.
    The worst part is when i was fit, people reacted differently, I was complimented more, I felt way more confident, and now I feeel depressed and unattractive.

    this is the first time ive ever really said how i feel outloud because I feel embarrassed to talk about these issues to friends and family.

    Heres hoping that the next 3 months show physical improvement.

  • GP says:

    This is an old post, but thank you for sharing it. I just read it today. I feel like I’ve gone off track after thanksgiving, and the holidays are a difficult time to maintain a physique. I was also starting to feel disappointed and ashamed because of all the hard work I put in this year to get my body where I wanted to be, and now I’m starting to regain a little. It’s ok though. I know this is just a bump in the road, and I can get where I once was again. Thank you for sharing your story, you are very inspiring.

  • Shirley says:

    Cassey,
    Thank you for sharing your post. It was incredibly deep, sincere and a valuable message we can all learn from. Thanks for everything that you do. I’m a big fan of yours. You are so pretty, you’re mind is in the right place, your humble and inspirational. Thanks for everything that you do. You are truly original.

  • Jamie says:

    I’m a former competitive gymnast, lifetime dancer, Zumba teacher on the side of my other career job and divorced mother of 3 young children under the age of 10 – I’m 46.

    I have injuries from my gymnast days and am finding that I just can’t always rally to do a “hard core” weight workout. Blogilates has been a fantastic source of workouts that are soooooo not easy but possible to do on even my toughest chronic pain days.

    Cassie – thank you SO much for sharing the inside out of all you do, feel, experience. This is precisely what makes you so real & easy to follow. You are not perfect, you will make mistakes, you will feel emotions & ponder over them… because you are, like us on the other side of your posts – a human. Keep doing what you do and inspiring us to contemplate what we each do so we can each find our personal best in that moment. I’m fairly certain that I need to bring Blogilates to Northern California and add that certification to the list. I’m sorry folks fire nasty shots at you, ya gotta just know there are wierd folks out there.

  • P says:

    Hi Cassey,

    This is avery old post but I just wanted to tell that I find it incredibly rude and surprising that someone would criticize you for being too fat! You are far from it and I would like to see the physique of the peope who are saying these things, I’m sure they are far from perfect.

    I’m quite new to pilates but I have been following your workout calendars for three months now. I was in a pretty good shape when I started doing these but I have noticed some very pleasant changes in my body. I just wanted to thank you for your hard work and the fact that you provide these workouts for us for free and also to tell you that your are a beautiful person and your positivity is inspiring!

  • María says:

    I’m too skinny and I’m currently trying to gain weight. But I know exactly what you mean. People have always told me things like “you should eat more”, “you are going to vanish/disappear”, eventhough I’m perfectly healthy and I eat well. It’s hard :( It makes me loose all my motivation :(

  • jackeline says:

    Omg I want to cry because I have gained again like 35 pounds and I feel so sad and depressed I know how you feel and people are so mean a friend of mine told me once you should shout your mouth in order to not eat, other looks your legs are like a big part of a building is so sad people said those things and here I am again gaining weight so I have to work harder to shed those and be healthy and happy again is sad for me to see that my jeans doesnt fit me anymore but like you said is not a big deal I have to get up and work again thanks casey love your videos your so pretty and honestly I would love to have that amazing body of yours big hug from GUATEMALA

  • MintChocoTofu says:

    I come from an Asian family too and sometimes, my relatives would say that they don’t even recognize me because of how fat I’ve become (they exaggerated, seriously :P) and my parents will say that I’m fat, and those scales just scare me the most. I like to think that someone put bricks in my hoodie before I stepped on but in fact, they didn’t. And scales always tell the truth. If anyone tells me that I look fat, I will shove this in their faces and say ‘eat your words’.

  • Rebecca says:

    Cassey you are such a rolemodel for me. I love your videos even though i can’t finish all of them. And I really have to say those people who made these comments are so superficially. I mean, propably no one does so much work than you. And we are all humans, everybody is the same. Everybody got good days and also bad. So why are we talking about each other in a bad way. We should support everyone.
    And I didn’t even see the change in your body.
    So girls, please be cofindent. Everybody is beautiful!

  • Ela says:

    You made my day Cassie. Thank you, for everything, really thanks for being awesome.

  • Angel says:

    What a beautiful article. Thank you for this. You know people always have something to say. My family is always commenting about my weight, which is funny because I’m smaller than all of them and I never say anything mean to them aboit their weight. I have gained a lot of weight now though, I went through depression and a lot of dark stuff which caused weight gain. But now that I’m bigger I have the confidence I’ve never had before, ever in my life and that confidence helps me work out and eat healthy. I’m not on a crazy diet, I just eat healthy foods when I’m hungry. You know, people called me fat even when I was at my lowest weight (50kg) and I believed them. Now, I just love myself and do what’s right for my body. Btw, you look great Cassey!

  • Adilia Contreras says:

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Cassey!!

    I’m 25 years old and have been dealing with overweight since puberty. I hated myself from age 10 until I was 24, yes until last year. I was depressed and started using food, alcohol and partying to not feel. Then last year a friend came up to me and while talking about life in general and just being goofy he got me thinking about what I was doing to myself.

    The only person that’s gonna make a difference in my life is me, if I wanna be loved I have to love myself first. It took me a long long long time to get it, it was hard, I actually cried for a few days while fighting with myself, that part of me that kept saying “you’re not worth it” “no one is gonna love you” “have you seen yourself?” but I got thru them, eventually.

    While I was reading this post I saw myself in all those who asked you if you had gained weight and I loved your response. That has been my response for the past year and it works. So what if I gain weight again? I’ll work harder and I’ll be better. I’m listening to my body and working day by day to get to my goal. 135lb is my goal, 178lb is my current number but I’m working on it.

    I love your videos and your spirit, please keep them coming. I’m sure there are more like me that find support and strength in them. I’m a fan from Guatemala so if you’re ever in town, please let me know so I can be your tour guide.

    Thank you again,
    Adi

  • Whitney says:

    Cassy,
    I don’t have the proper words to describe my gratitude towards you and your honesty. My life has been a little crazy lately and I started your workouts to try and get healthier and have more energy. I have something called polycystic ovarian syndrome (at least thats what we think it is) and it has been such a challenge for me. Im always in constant pain, but I want to live my life! I do the same, when I’m stressed I eat, but you have given me a chance to release all that bottled up emotional pain and exhaustion because I know you’re human and though you don’t know me personally. You understand what your handwork and motivation does for others, I can’t thank you enough for all you do for all of us out here. Don’t let people’s harsh opinions affect who you are. You can’t control what people say, but you do have that right to control how it affects you. That goes to all of us working hard out there! :) Love you Cassy!

  • Amanda says:

    I know this is long after the fact, but I had to say something. I absolutely adore this post. I’ve always had a bit of a weight problem (which I’m starting to see was probably triggered by mild depression). Last year I was in a really happy place and began training for a 5k (never ran in one, and I’m as slow as molasses and my husband loves to make fun of how slow I am, but I at least enjoy running now and it makes me feel great about myself that I can run a few miles without stopping) and I started doing blogilates and other workouts. I also wasn’t able to work due to my school schedule so I had a ridiculously tight budget and discovered that a lot of the fast, processed foods I had gotten accustomed to eating in college were completely out of my budget. I ate a LOT of potatoes and discovered a few quick, easy, healthy, and inexpensive recipes (like the two ingredient pancakes I found here) that began to replace the junk I’d been eating before.
    Fast forward about 6 months to my wedding. I had unintentionally, but not without work, lost 25 lbs. Every time in my life when I had been on a new diet/exercise routine I’d stress myself out and completely derail. This time I was just focused on getting the nutrients I needed and on being happy. It amazed me how doing just this put me into a healthy BMI for the first time since I was about 16. And I felt great! I was healthier than I’d been in a while.
    About a month later we found out we were pregnant. We were so excited, but I was also terrified because I remember my mom getting huge all over during her pregnancies and not being able to lose weight very well after. Well, I got pretty bad morning sickness and lost my job and an additional 12 lbs. This put me weighing less than I did the entire time in high school. I remember being happy that I was at such a low weight, but then freaking out about how I couldn’t keep enough calories down to nourish myself, let alone our baby.
    The next little while was very difficult for me. On the one hand I loved the thinner face and arms and legs I had and I wanted to keep it all, and on the other I would look in the mirror and cry about the way I looked and how much I wanted this baby to be healthy. I was so scared to gain an ounce (I know I shouldn’t be, I mean I AM growing a person inside of me after all) and I couldn’t work out because my morning sickness had made me so weak. But with the help of my doctor and my husband I’ve been able to not only get over the morning sickness and part of the fear of gaining the baby weight I need to, but I’ve also started being able to workout again. And today I introduced my husband to blogilates (he’s a cross-country runner but he’s gained about 30lbs in sympathy weight in the 6 months that I’ve been prego) and he loves it!
    So, I know this is a long comment, but I just wanted to say thank you. I have never been anywhere near bikini competition shape, nor do I really want to. But working to get your body to feel and work a certain way and then being able to sit back as it healthily changes can be very challenging. You are an inspiration to me that if you are happy and healthy, you’re doing good things. Thank You!

  • Katelyn says:

    Thanks for posting this, Cassey. Everyone trying to make a huge change in their image goes through this “weight gain guilt.” I know I have more than once. It’s paranoia, really.
    I have your back. Thanks for all your help and MOTIVATION.
    You are beautiful inside and out :)

  • Hailey says:

    I constantly get asked if I am pregnant. I worke with a girl who was 6 months pregnant and a lady asked us if we were due around the same time….. talk about self worth going down the drain. The real kicker is that I am only 21 years old!!! The answer is a no!!! I know I am not that big I have a pouch like everyone although mines a bit bigger I still have one. It hurts the mot when my family asks me if I am and demand me to take a pregnancy test to prove I’m not. I have lost 25 pounds since moving and I am still losing the only times I have a problem with gaining weight is when my ovarian cysts burst and I cant workout. I do admit I get into a slump feel terrible about myself so of course I eat more and it makes me feel even worse. In all the insanity it is amazing to have a man who everyday tells me I am beautiful even if I have packed on a couple pounds but it just shows what Cassey has said is true the weight doesn’t determine who you are its definitely all about personality and who you surround yourself with!

  • Ellie says:

    Cassey you are so REAL and I am so thankful that fitness instructors like you exist. You are an incredible role model for so many girls and you have brought us all together to embark on a healthier, fitter lifestyle. Your work-out videos got me through some of the most stressful weeks of my degree and now that I am officially post-university and unemployed I am carving out more time to spend with you and your wonderful pilates videos. They make me feel stronger, productive, elegant and powerful. Already I am noticing, not only a difference in my body but also in the way that I view my body. I am less angry with it, more accepting and blogposts like the one you have written here are so refreshing and remind me that the skinny FINAL PICTURE is not the ultimate goal. Thank you so much for all you do. Ellie x

  • Jenny says:

    Yep I’m Asian and the relatives always say that. I think you look great, fit and healthy. :)

  • Nadia says:

    Oh no! How can anyone call you fat? I like you MUCH better with some more weight and brighter skin than on your bikini pictures. You look fab! Still fit, but more like a woman. It’s good, if you sometimes work hard to show off the perfect side of yours, but the rest of the time please also love the wonderful woman-you <3

  • Simona says:

    Thank you Cassey. I think you are great the way you are. :)
    Send you lots of love :)
    Simona

  • weenie says:

    I can totally relate to this! I have a big family and my relatives come to my house almost every single day! Lately I’ve been getting so many questions from my aunts about my weight and how I look too meaty. I’m a typical Asian girl with petite figure so when I was young my family would say I should eat more in order to grow taller(I remember I tried to put on weight by eating all those junk food just because I couldn’t ride on the roller coaster in a funfair since I didn’t have enough weight,pretty crazy right). So here’s the thing,my family has this concept about being healthy,you should eat MORE to be healthy. So when I was a kid,they would ask me to finish a big bowl of rice and lots of meat and they would feed me supper(such as chinese fried noodles, white bread, instant noodles…etc). I didn’t care much about my food as I thought I was skinny enough and healthy enough so I didn’t need to pay any attention on what I ate. Life became really hectic with exams and all sorts of activities when I first entered high school, and that’s when I noticed the layer of fats accumulated around my waistline(my upper body is skinny but my lower body is super “meaty”). I was pretty upset and I would pinch those muffintops every time I stood in front of a mirror. But still all I did was sitting in front of study table and reading textbooks,I didn’t care to do any sports or work out. Then my aunts started to give comments like “hey you’ve gained some weights, you look good ’cause you’re meaty now”. I started to pay more attention on my diet and food intake,and slowly allowed myself adapt to a more active lifestyle. Then I found out about fitness and I started go gym and trained really hard and eating super clean(my family said I was having eating disorder cause I started to eat brown rice or multigrain instead of white rice). Within few months my body fat was so low that even my period stopped, but all I thought was hey I’m looking good now who cares about period! After 7 months, I started my college life. It was hard for me to adapt to a completely new environment. My parents asked me to go back to the old lifestyle cause i looked like a weirdo with all those “weird” eating habits and being picky, or else I would not be able to mix with other people and making friends. You know, when your dearest family doesn’t support whatever you’re doing to improve yourself,you feel terrible. I had low self esteem because of my parents. After 3 months in college, I finally went loose on my eating clean diet cause I tried to socialise and eat out with friends, and my body reacted so fast that after 2 weeks my period came back. It’s a good thing isn’t it, but then later on my clothes felt tighter,i couldn’t fit in my jeans anymore, and my weights were increasing like crazy. I felt really bad about myself and because of the stress from study as well,I was diagnosed as having depression. Normally people do lose weights when they are sick but I didn’t, instead, I gained lots of weights. Now that I’m fully recovered, I’ve been trying to go back to my healthy lifestyle again but it’s so hard. My aunts keep telling me I look fat and my thighs and butt are so big, I feel hurtful after hearing all these critics. Even if when I’m working out they would tell me how fat I look and it’s so disgusting to workout cause it makes you sweat! How ridiculous is that? Imagine, when you’re enjoying your own food, all of a sudden somebody tells you to stop eating cause you look really fat already,how would you feel?

    Honestly, I feel so down. After 3 weeks of hard work, nothing changes, I really feel like giving up :(

    • Jeanelle says:

      Don’t give up! My relatives are all saying I am gaining weight and when I work out they as why if I just eat again. They don’t understand that I need to fuel my body after a workout. Your relatives just don’t understand and you shouldn’t let that hinder your progress and return into a healthy lifestyle. They may be making all these comments now but in a few weeks, when all your hardwork visibly pays off, they will understand and at that point, you will have overcome negative comments that almost prevented you from a healthy lifestyle you once enjoyed.

  • […] and I think they are fantastic! In her blog and some of her videos she confirms many times that our weight fluctuates all the time and I think as a fitness professional, she should be heeded. She says the best way to […]

  • Maddy says:

    Why in the world would anyone point out your weight gain since the bikini competition when there is a very limited amount of people who have the determination to train for one. All I know is I love fitness and healthy food but I couldn’t be that controlled or strict and I’m sure the majority of those people who commented couldn’t either. While your hard work and dedication was definitely visible and amazing, I actually think you look better now; more realistic and easier to relate to. I now know you have struggles and off days as well and it makes me appreciate you even more! Don’t be ashamed if you’ve gained a bit of weight, because you look fabulous and those rude people probably couldn’t train the way you did even for one day.

  • Samantha says:

    I am a mother of three children under the age of four. I have had my ups and downs emotionally about my weight. I try to remind myself that I needed to gain weight to grow my babies. However I gained a significant amount with in three pregnancies and really didn’t give my body a chance to recover in between. My mother tries to tell about new diet pills and so on, she’s really nice about it but somehow that makes it feel worse to me. I hate it when people pity me. I wouldn’t trade any of my kids for the body I had before(even though I very much miss it). My grandmother on the other hand is very rude and mean about it saying” wow Samantha! What happened to you?! You used to be so pretty!” Even people at grocery stores have made comments to me directly about my weight. Although my weight is high and I am “obese” by the standards, I don’t feel that I’m at the point people are making it. I am 27 years old, with three children between 4 yrs old and 4 months old. I’m 5’7″ and 215 lbs. I get treated on a daily basis like i literally weigh a ton. So it took a long time to accept myself. Although I hate to hear that someone else has felt this way, it is comforting to know that I’m not alone in these feels of shame and embarassment. I’m gradually getting back into a more intense exercise regiment and really appreciate all the help Cassey gives!

  • aima says:

    OMG.I’m Pakistani.Exact same thing with the aunties.Made me laugh

  • Sk says:

    This is exactly what I needed at this exact moment. Funny how what you need tends to show up at the right time.

    Thank you.

  • Aria says:

    Hey casse! You posted this way long ago so i dont even know if you’ll se it, but you’re slight weight gain was almost reassuring. Some fittness instrictors are way to skinny/muscular and its very overwhelming! But youre so down to earth, and youre like a real human being about fittness. You recognized that we all fluctuate on our path but as long as we keep striving to be the best we can be, who cares! You are my inspiration who makes fittness FUN and gets me off the couch everyday! Im on week 2 of the beginner caledar and i feel more energized and healthy already!

    Thank you for all your hard work and dedication, it means so much to alot of people,
    -Aria <3

  • Kim says:

    I used to be really really skinny growing up, but when puberty hit I started eating and eating and gaining weight. At first I was glad to see the curves on my body because I grew up to be that tiny skinny girl. My (asian) family even gave me a nickname: skinny girl. And when they started to notice I was looking a bit rounder, they’d compliment me! It kinda made me feel good. So I kept eating. I got to the point that I felt confident in bikini and people telling me I have a great figure. A couple years later my oh so asian mother (and sisters) would tell me I was gaining too much weight. At first I didn’t mind, but now, it has come to the point that I’m fat. Like really fat. I don’t fit in my jeans, I can’t wear tight shirts (or anything else) and I feel so concious about my body. Now it’s been three years since I wore a bikini. And this summer is just around the corner… I really want to enjoy the summer, but I can’t even wear shorts! That’s why I started losing weight, but I’m struggling with the diet part. I just love food too much!
    This is why I wanted to start posting pictures and stuff on the blogilates app, but I’m to embarrassed. I keep telling myself I can do this without letting people know and letting them support me. But really, I want completely strangers to support me and follow my fitness journey. Maybe one day…

  • Hana says:

    Wow people are judgmental, when I saw that video I didn’t notice a weight gain I noticed that sneeze at 50seconds in XD lool Casey is the best if if you can’t handle her fabulousness than you are not needed here ! Hmph

  • CK says:

    Oh Cassey, I’m so glad to read this. I’m really encouraged by your honesty and the reality behind achieving a great looking body. Very little people would share with us their pain and sweat to have a lean and healthy looking body, but you helped me to have a more realistic mindset and realistic expectations of what it takes to change my diet and lifestyle into a healthier one. And yes, I totally agree that it’s not worth depriving ourselves and being too harsh on ourselves when it comes to food. We gotta take control of our diets, not the other way around.

    Thank you again Cassey for your constant encouragement and SUper fun personality :)

    CK

  • Fei says:

    This is amazing. You are amazing. It is so true that you shouldn’t judge someone for how they look like. I just hate the fact that you have to explain your weight gain (how ridiculous is that!?). I know this is a really late response…I feel that you really are amazing. Not alot of people can endure the pain and go through the whole workout. Seriously, people just judge too much. It’s all about appearance in this world. I mean someone who is overweight could be perfectly healthy and happy too! Just cause you have a fit body doesn’t mean you’re ‘healthy’ doesn’t mean you eat well and doesn’t mean you’re happy!
    KEEP FIGHTING!! And as for the Asian aunts…they’ll always find something to say!

  • Rebekah says:

    Nody image is in the brain, not in your body fat.
    so i got the thigh gap and the abs and a bmi below 17 – and i still feel ugly.

  • Laura says:

    I’ve felt like this for so long, it was overwhelming! I almost went anorexic because all my friends lost
    wieght without trying, and I had to work my butt off to be pretty, in my mind.
    You’ve really helped me feel more beautiful than I have in my life, and you are beautiful. Cassie and
    all the people reading this comment right now. Don’t let anyone tell you different!

    Laura

    ;)

  • DianaNguyen says:

    I feel like crying right now after reading your post, Cassey. It’s truly hard to maintain a skinny body while trying to work on my self esteem. I remember working my butt off last summer, trying to be thin while fit as possible. I successfully lost over 15lbs and was at 110. But right now, I am close to 120 lbs because of the muscle gain AND the days I’ve let myself loose. I’m 5″1, and 18 years old, suffering to try to love herself for who she is, despite the weight gain. I keep thinking I have gotten fatter because of the weight gain, even though I have gained new muscles on my butt and thighs. Your post has truly inspired me to get back up and start motivating myself again. Even though I’m asian and can never have those skinny asian body, I know I will look even better with a nice, fit tone body with a booty. Thank you Cassey! You’ve definitely have helped lift my mood and determination once more!

  • Krystal says:

    I can relate with this blog post so incredibly much. About 4 years ago I was tiny…probably too small for my height, but I thought I looked phenomenal. I am 5’7 and I was about 115 lbs. I was wearing a size 0 with size 2 often being extremely baggy. I obtained this weight from unhealthy measures. I worked out constantly and was only eating about 1,000 calories a day, sometimes less. I thought that I could maintain this weight forever and be happy. Well, eventually life happened and slowly those size 0 jeans were getting snug. Then the size 2’s followed along and also were getting tight. A significant back injury prevented me from working out, which was just making matters worse in my mind. I could not stop focusing on the gain.
    Eventually, people were approaching me and saying straight up “Wow..you’ve started filling out. I think you look so much better with some meat on you.” Im sure this was intended to be a compliment, but it didn’t feel like one. It caused panic that people were beginning to notice. I also heard comments like “you have yourself a butt finally.” Again, compliment I am sure in their minds, but mind blowing reality in mine.

    So, today I am just trying to be healthy. I eat right, I do cardio and blogilates, and I allow myself an indulge here and there. My 5’7 body is up from 115 lbs to 130-133 lbs. I have also had discussions with friends who are obsessed with looking super model skinny, as well as having to cut out one friend who was super competitive with me in the quest to look good. With time I have realized the connection between mind and body and how they completely connect with each other. Replacing some terms for myself like healthy instead of skinny has been beneficial because no longer is the focus on being super skinny, just being the healthiest version of myself.

  • Arianna says:

    a perfect post Cassey, a perfect way to answer to people curiosity and in the same time express your opinion on such an important matter like “skinny obsession”
    I found your blog a month ago, searching for pilates tutorials on youtube: now I’m finishing the beginners calendar and I’ll continue to follow you.
    I want to stay in shape (I’m 40 this year!) but I know I’ll never have again the body I had when I was 20 even if my weight is the same (I’m 174 cm x 60 kg).
    Whatever, I feel great!
    thank you sooo much

  • Abby says:

    Dear Cassey…
    I had the same problem as you…I wanted perfect slim body with no fat.. I ate so little…I had hunger, I went to bed early, so I did not starve because my last food was at four o’clock…I had no energy..
    Than I said stop to myself…it wasn’t healthy..it wasn’t happy.. And I never had the perfect silhouette from my fantasy. Even when my ribs had sticking out I had my big butt (Now I know it’s not to big actually..).
    I just stopped with that crazy routine..I stopped care about what everybody think and say about my butt.
    I started from the beginning. I decided that I want to be fit and HAPPY!..
    But after that diet, when I started to eat normally..my weight started to gain..I was so upset. I didn’t want to fall to crazy diets again..so I ate healthy. Now.. two ears after that diet season..I’m actually HAPPY! I have my healthy, fitness body. I’m strong, I’m fast, I’m beautiful! I love my ”large” butt… It’s part of my body..part of the instrument that i need for my sports (I ride a freeride bike).
    That’s my story (Sorry for grammatical mistakes..I just learn eng :) )
    Love you Cassey, you inspire me every day! Stay strong!

  • Claire says:

    I’m going through a tough time right now- I have been in bikini competition shape and leanness year round for about a year and a half after having anorexia and dropping weight- I gained weight and muscle and got into amazing shape (where I am now) but I am not having my period though every other vital has returned. My estrogen levels are low and so my doctors told me I have to gain weight. Because I had anorexia at 14 and am now 16 I have never been above 106 lbs (5’1) and average 103-105. My doctor wants me at 110 to be able to menstruate. I know I need to think about health first, but I am scared because being so cut has become a huge part of my identity personally and at school. That line “wrongend of a before and after” really resonated with me.. I’m so nervous guys! I want to make sure that I keep my muscle and tone even though I have to gain weight. Tips, advice? Love you guys :)

    • Raisa Miruna says:

      If you start eating gradually healthy food but in a larger quantity and you keep training, that food will help you build up muscles; and those muscles will be the new gained weight, not fat. They weigh more anyway. Enough healthy food and training build muscles. Not enough food intake consumes your muscles and your energy to train. If you’re afraid that if you eat more, it will translate into fat, you could take a test at a gym which tells you your body fat percent. My guess is that you probably need to eat a somewhat larger quantity of food, you lack nutrients.

  • Patricia says:

    I noticed how in control you were your movements.
    People who regularly compete don’t stay that lean at all times, since it’s not manageable.
    Thanks for the beginner’s calendar! I’m falling in love with Blogilates!

  • Kassy Nubla says:

    You are perfect Cassey! I swear. People should be more concerned on looking fit and healthy instead of looking skinny and depriving themselves of food. I want to have abs but I dont wanna starve myself for it. It all boils down to determination and hard-work :)

  • Danielle says:

    About a year ago my old/ex best friend looked at me and said “you gained weight” yes i did i was stressed with my boyfriend and had turned to food as comfort. But she was the one that was addicted to mcdonalds or anything she could get her hands on. I felt bad for her to not control her binges and cravings. I was hurt and felt betrayed. ~fast forward til this month~ I decided why not give it another shot at our friendship. We went to the gym together and catch up. Turns out she was jealous, wishing she had what i had and more. And yet she made another remark i cant quite remember but affected me in just the same way. Only because she was trying to put me down about my accomplishments to make her feel better. She went to mcdonalds right after. :(

  • Megan says:

    Every time I have a conversation with my grandmother she always finds a way to call me “HEAVY”
    1.) I do have a high fat percentage, I also have a lot of muscle mass. She has neither.
    2.) I am 5’11”. She is 5’5”.
    3.) She has an anorexic mentality. She eats, but not enough. and she doesn’t eat foods crucial to her health. I do eat those foods. Just sometimes I binge. I do want to take off the metaphorical fat suit that is just actual fat. I want her to gain weight and be healthy.

    I have accepted that I will never have the body she wants me to have seeing as i really should make sure I don’t go close to 130 becuase i am freakishly tall.

    I would also like to point out that in the fifties and lower, a woman was supposed to be freakishly thin and small, and those from that era have that mind frame. So I say…don’t have that mind frame and be who you are supposed to be.

  • Hannah says:

    Keep your head up love you cassey! !!!! From Canada

  • Astrid says:

    It’s not all about having “THAT body”, anyway, you look better now. I don’t understand how people want other people to starve and not enjoy food. Food is there to enjoy! You can eat clean and it can taste good, but never go onto an extreme like only eating so little your body is starving, you’re feeling weak and tired. That is the opposite of healthy and happy!

  • Kerri says:

    I truly appreciate this post! I’m newer to the blogilates scene, and this post just sits with me.
    Last summer, I was at my lowest weight(which I realize does not equal healthiest) due to some health issues I’d been struggling with. Of course, everyone had negative comments about how tiny I was, but I was working out, running, lifting weights…and despite being small, I felt strong.
    Now, I”m back in nursing school, which = a ton a stress! And I’ve put weight back on. About 20 pounds worth!! I eat clean, the majority of the time, but when night-time boredom and munchies hit, I go haywire. I know I need to get myself back under control, buts its harder than it sounds, isn’t it?! People thankfully haven’t been commenting that I’m fat by any means, but the comments on “oh, you’ve gained weight, looking good” …they don’t FEEL so good either!! Yes, I know I’ve gained weight, and yes I know I needed it..but the spare tire I now have around my middle, I don’t need!

    Anyways, this post got off topic, my main point is…that I appreciate your honesty. And I appreciate knowing that all those “super star fitness model experts” out there, have bad days too! Heck, maybe they even have bad months or years!! They’re human too! So often, we’re shown that they never fall off the wagon, when the truth is…if you don’t fall off the wagon, you’re super human or something!!
    So thank you for your honesty!!

  • Talia says:

    Cassey,

    Wow. I have tears in my eyes reading your post. I guess it’s because you are such an inspiration to me and I love you so much! It may not mean much, but honestly, I read your blog every day and it’s not your “hot bod” or whatever that keep me coming back. It’s your personality. I hated working out until I found your videos. I feel like I’m hanging out with a friend when I watch your videos and then all the sudden, 20 minutes have passed, and I’ve done an amazing workout. I suffered from an eating disorder in high school, and now in college, I have gained some weight and am not accepting very well. The past couple of months have been really hard for me, but I take REFUGE in your videos, support, guidance, and positive spirit. I totally understand where you are coming from and feel for you and wanted to reach out and say that 1) I literally can’t even telly you gained weight you still look AMAZING and have my dream body 2) I consider you to be my teacher, my instructor, my guru… but mainly, MY FRIEND. The support you give, even though we’ve never met, is unreal and you provide us Popsters with so much love. Know it’s a two way street. We’ve got your back and have mad love for ya! Xoxo, Talia

  • V. says:

    Hi Cassey,

    So many people wrote you here and I know my words are just a little drop on the ocean of support and love, but I still want to add it to make this ocean even bigger.
    I came to the US 7.5 years ago being 125 lbs 5.6″ girl and having that weight as my normal healthy weight, so I didnt worry. I came to the country of a completely different food quality and I also lived alone for the first time in 21 years and hardly knew how to cook. so not surprisingly in only 6 month I was 25 pounds up. One day I couldnt pull my jeans more than mid-thigh and I thought oh, I think I did gain some weight, so I got a scale and saw 150 lbs. It did bother me, but like a lot of college and working kids, I just didnt really have time to take care of the problem, plus a lot of kids around me were not in their best shape and didnt seem to worry. but in the back of my head I always though how I would lose weight and look like that actress or that singer. And I kept buying clothes that were size smaller for the day when I fit in them, I knew I will.
    and only 3 years later, during my graduation semester in college, I just stopped eating more than 1000 calories a day just because I realized I cant eat when Im stressed. I ate only tuna salad sandwiches and hummus. in 6 months I lost those 25 pounds. and thats when my transformation began. I was scared to go back to being bigger, so I tried to watch what I eat, I started weighting myself every day and I would not eat almost anything if I saw I gained a pound. I tried working out but I hated it. I went down to 117 pounds which was my teenage years weight and was so scared to go over 120 as if my entire life depended on it. But I still hated working out, I counted calories like crazy and weighted myself twice a day, freaking out how I would be 3 pounds heavier at night. so I became afraid of food that weights a lot and almost stopped eating fruits. And then restaurant week hit the city and I gained 8 pounds in 6 weeks. it was the biggest freakout, I felt ugly even though I was only 125 lbs. so I juiced and worked out every day for a week and realized that working out is not that bad because my muscles looked toned. so I started working out 2-3 times a week and still watching my calories.
    I kept my weigh around 116-119 lbs for year and a half but mostly because I didnt eat much. my wakeup call happened when I went to Europe to visit my family and had no choice but to eat food my grandma cooked for me. I didnt eat a lot, but I knew that I was eating much more calories. and how surprised was I when I came back to the US to… losing 2 pounds! I did not work out for entire 2 weeks, did not move around much and I lost weight! Thats when I realized that its about quality of he food. My grandma used only natural ingredients and made food with love. I thought that if I dont learn what to eat and dont work out, it will be hard for me to ever get in the shape I always wanted to be. So I started working out minimum of 5 times a week, eating more but healthier, learned about nutrition and what my body needs to have energy. I gained 3 pounds in couple weeks knowing its water weight that my muscles need to heal after the workouts plus always having food in my system since I stopped starving myself. I started to see my body change and muscles define. For the last month I worked out every single day because my body is screaming for it and loves it, and I ate huge salads with meat or fish and tons and tons of fruits. I did not lose any weight but I know that Im gaining muscle and my scale cant trick me anymore.
    I started doing your videos 2 month ago and I just adore your personality! That video that you mentioned as the one where people pointed out your weight, I was sure it was just your time of the month because seeing how you have no problem working out and talking while Im screaming in pain trying to follow never made me question your amazing fitness level.
    And i LOVE your supercharge smoothie, I cant get enough of it! and the first time I made them, my boyfriend ate both his and mine portions of the banana pancakes!
    So whoever make comments like that are just unhappy people who need to criticize to make themselves feel better because they just made someone feel bad too. Please dont ever worry about such things. You are already so much ahead of them in fitness and you can only get better and better.
    I am sorry I wrote so much but I think I never talked about this to anyone and your post made me feel sad that anyone would even say things like that to you.Thank you for helping me to become a healthier fitter happier me!

  • MamaCassi says:

    i LOVE your honesty- honest over here-

    i’m a naturally muscular girl who doesn’t have to work hard for abs, BUT tend to be curvy. at 33, i’ve embraced curvy. fit but curvy, slim but curvy, pregnant but curvy, it’s all good IF you’re doing it w/ love and joy.

    i love your enthusiasm and videos and i also loved that when i started doing your videos, there were different Casseys- super slim, thicker, older, younger, i LOVED that you were real and not just trying so hard to be a certain type that you hid the less ‘perfect’ from the world.

    as a woman who’s always nursing and/or (often both) pregnant, it’s more about nutrition and real bodily health than an image. it takes a lot of work to do any of those!

    i’ll never be as tiny as you- it’s not my goal. and i’m so glad you’re not always crazy bikini body Cassey either. b/c it makes me love that you keep working, keep improving and also sometimes let go a little! hoping that means you’re closer every day to a satisfying, wonderful, and joyful balance for you!

  • Jade says:

    don’t ever listen to those people! I get that a lot too! But i continue telling myself, yeah, I may have let myself go for a short period of time and due to my metabolism, I may have looked like I gained a lot of weight in a short period of time, but seriously, like you said, gaining 1-2 kg doesn’t mean that I am weaker. I can do so much more than many others can. I am strong. Everyone takes their time and has their own plans to reach their goals and nobody should ever have that power to bring you down. Believe in yourself. Cassey, you are forever an inspiration to me, seriously. And being at the receiving end, I am so glad you brought this up to the public and make others realise what are the effects of not filtering what you say. <3

  • Olivia says:

    Cassey. you are truly beautiful and you have every right to feel unashamed. Plus, i am pretty sure you probably gained 0.01% of fat. :)

  • Suzanna says:

    Hey Cassey! I stumbled upon your blog very recently.
    The fact that you don’t look like a super-skinny top-model makes me want to TRUST you. Makes me believe that you are just a girl like me. Many people are lost in this crazy desire to look unrealistic. What’s most important is how you feel, and I can tell straight away, that you feel amazing in your body, and that is a great inspiration for myself. You’re a beatiful, healthy young girl. HUGS AND KISSES!

    • Aurelia says:

      I love your comment! so true! I feel exactly the same way.

      Cassey is the perfect training instructor for a movement to destruct unrealistic ideal of female beauty which hurts so many of girls and women’s self esteem, but still love your body with her and blogilates. Be healthy, exercise and go harder and stronger!

      I love you Cassey

  • Emily says:

    You’re still amazing cassey !

  • Kristen says:

    Hi Cassey,
    I just wanted to say that the fact you admit to gaining the weight back and that you work so hard to stay thin, you are amazing. I recently moved three hours away from home for college and I work at a fast food restaurant, like most college students. While being at school I had a school lunch lady and a CVS worker askme if I was pregnant, which I am not. I then began looking at my pictures from Summer 2013 and realized I ganined alot of weight since then. This was a small reality check for me and I started making some time for the gym. What really hit me was when I went home for Thanksgiving and the first thing my grandmother told me in 3 months was, wow you gained some weoght. And then, thinking she was whispering she asked my parents if they were sure I wasn’t pregnant. This broke my heart. Even though my boyfriend of a year and a half loves me and doesn’t mind the way I look, I feel uncomfortable in my body. Now I go to the gym 5 days a week, do ypur videos 3 times a week, and I do my Wii Fit everyday. You are my hero and I’m hoping by the time I go home for Easter that I can be at almost average weight instead of being at risk of being over weight. Thank you for all the encouragement and support.

  • Karol says:

    Your reflection is so honest and real that I am feeling even more inspired and u are right life has ups and downs and so does our weight and by no means this is a reflection of what we can accomplish. Is not measure by pounds but by hard work, motivation, dedication and when we fall out of track it only counts much more when we get back to it.

  • C says:

    Cassey, you’re the best.

  • Nicolette says:

    I used to have a crush on this guy (I’m 15, so being self conscious is kind of a normal thing for me), and one day we were hanging out and he made a joke about my thighs being “thunder thighs.” I wasn’t really self conscious until then, I was actually pretty confident, but that joke completely shattered my glass. Now, I’m doing your workouts and a little kickboxing, and I’m doing much better on the self esteem scale :)

  • Cassie :)
    I know you have so many comments, and God knows if you ever get to read all of these, but I want you to know something. Some of my girlfriends and I have a past of anorexia, and guess what? Doing Pilates with you and listening to you talk about putting GOOD things into your body is one of the things that helped me /overcome/ it. When I was talking to my friend about you, she said that she LOVED that you had a real body. That you had curves, and that you weren’t ashamed of it. I just want you to know that I love seeing that you have a woman’s body, and it makes me feel so pleased to be healthy too. :) My body looks like yours does now, and I’m so happy with it, and happy to feel healthy, especially when I see that someone who I aspire to be like looks just like I do now. God willing, I will get my Pilates Instructing Certification so that I can teach Pilates, because you made me fall in love with the art, joy, and challenge of it. AND, I love that you can still lift and run faster and better than ever, and I love that I can too. :)
    Cassie, I’m so proud of you and I love you. :) I watch you all the time, and your weight GAIN has been MORE of an inspiration to me than your weight LOSS ever has been, because it means I can nourish my body and listen to it, and stay free from my eating disorder. You’re absolutely beautiful. :)
    I thank God for you. :) I really do.
    Thank you for everything.
    Bless you,
    Love always,
    Julia Grace

    • Maria B. says:

      Can I just say that I feel the exact same way? I just stumbled on your POP pilates videos recently, and have had the same history as Julia Grace, but also had knee problems that led to me not being able to work out, spiraling the eating problems. This blog has some great videos that I can do and help me feel better too. :) Thanks for being an inspiration!

  • Grateful says:

    Hi Cassey,
    I’ve read this post before, but it speaks to me more than ever at this time in my life. I have followed you all through University and you taught me basically everything I know about working out, cleaning eating and keeping a positive attitude about mind and body, without a focus on the number on a scale. I kept my weight constant for nearly 3 years, and it is something I will always be proud of.
    I’m now finished University and live somewhere completely different. The stress of making new friends, a new job, even new food have led me to completely lose control. However, I try and tell myself everyday that even though my clothes might fit tighter, the way I live now makes me happy.

    I might not be able to keep up with the 4x a week of workouts I was capable of in University but I still try and do a handful of your videos every week. Thank you for being a constant source of inspiration, accessible at all hours, from all corners of the world. I think nearly all women struggle with feeling proud of their bodies all the time, but you certainly make it easier.

    Thank you
    – a dedicated popster.

  • biza says:

    Yes thank you soooo much!!! I have now learned that the scale does not matter so much only the person inside! Thanks for giving this to us for free other wise I would still be the same as I was at the beginning of this month!! I am not sure how much I have lost because the scale says 10+ more then I did before but that’s just muscle weight and I can tell because I can literally see a difference in my body!!! Thank you!!!

  • Kathi loeser says:

    Thank you for writing this. I want to share My 3 “funny” stories of growing up female.
    1. When I was in my earliest 20’s, my soon to be auntie in law said to me, during a party at the dinner table, ” wow, kathi you are really flat chested, you have no boobs!”
    2. Visiting family in Hong Kong, my aunt said to my sister, wow you got fat, than she turned to me and said, you got fat more.
    3. When taking care of my mom in the hospital, after her heart surgery, twice she asked me, why I got fat?
    So , yes, I love your constant encouragements. I am over 50 now, and try to love the way my body looks, no matter what. God made us just the way we are, and to Him, we are all beautiful! Thank you for your blog, I am loving getting in shape with you in the comfort of my family room!

  • MVM says:

    Thanks, Cassie, I really needed to read that just now. You were a great inspiration to me today :).
    FYI, you look great no matter what :)

  • Hannah says:

    Thank you for writing about this issue. I really appreciate your realistic view on being healthy. As someone who compares themselves everyday to pictures of women in fitness magazines, movies, and every other social media out there, it is very encouraging to read such a realistic view on fitness. I know that I generally live a healthy lifestyle, but I struggle so much when I only get to work out twice in a week or I come home so stressed from work that I do not have the brainpower to workout. I feel SO guilty, and I blame myself for not having a better looking body. I have a wonderful husband who tells me I’m beautiful everyday, yet I tear myself down anyway and still struggle with being confident in my body.

    I have been working hard over the past couple years to really stop feeling the guilt and be realistic about my body. I remember being in a place where I was so concerned about weight, that I did not really eat. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “I’m starting to look better”. But my body felt terrible. I now know that I look better when I eat healthy and workout, I also FEEL better. I do not own a scale now, due to the fact that I have been known to become a slave to it. I used to freak out if the scale went up by an ounce. Now, I notice if my pants feel tighter or if I have fat in places I did not used to. So, instead of freaking out, I try and motivate myself to be healthier.

    Your blog and fitness videos have helped me in my journey. Thank you so much for your positive and realistic support for real beauty. You’re so motivating, and it really makes a difference to follow someone in a fitness journey who understands that being healthy is the most important aspect of your body. I am encouraged every time I read your blog to continue staying healthy and to not feel guilty about not being perfect. Thank you so much! You’re awesome!

  • Sohini says:

    Hi Cassey, you have motivated me so much over the past few months and your workouts have really made me feel so much better about my health and my choices, and this article further motivates me.
    I’ve gained a lot of weight over the past couple of years, and my parents as well as some of my friends have openly called me ‘fat’. I know I don’t eat the healthiest (I eat chocolate or other sweet things at least once a day) and I’m not the most active person, but I’ve played competitive sport continuously for over four years, as well as doing your workouts since late 2013. I’m trying. But I just can’t seem to break through the barrier.
    However, I’m starting the 90 day New Body Makeover Challenge today, combined with the December calendar, and this article is letting me know that I can do it- My trying will not be in vain, and although I may never look like a supermodel, I can at least be proud of the way I look and make the switch to a healthier lifestyle.

    So, from me, and from many other people, thank you. It was so brave of you to confront these personal, demeaning issues and comments, and I hope that in spite of them you’ll still be around to inspire (and kill us) as you usually do for a long time coming.

  • Simone says:

    you totally are gorgeous healthy and not fat! society totally screws up the definition of a great body.. something that took me a while to learn is that you will never look healthy on the outside if you do not feel healthy on the inside, and whats the point of being thin if you can’t enjoy it anyway! :) I love that you are totally relatable and encouraging. but you are also gorgeous inside and out don’t let nobody tell you otherwise! ♥

  • Kassie says:

    Hey Cassey, your words really motivated me this time. Thank you so much. You’ll remain an inspiration to me, no matter how old or young you are. I’m 13 this year and I really want to slim down the area on my thighs. (I was born with fat thighs). Since I’ve been doing your thigh slimming workouts, I feel better than on normal days when I won’t workout. So I decided to do your Beach Series Buttlift workout every single day. It was fun. And yeah, I’m Asian and I gained weight too. But I’ll never give up. Thanks to your motivation, Cassey.

  • Ocean says:

    OMG Cassey, you have put into words what I have felt for a very long time. I don’t mean to get heavy on you but I was raped in 2011, since then I gained 50lbs very quickly. I focused completely on healing my mind and my soul while surviving college, that I lost focus on exercise and found tiny joys in my sad days with each meal. I am proud to say that I am much more spiritually strong than I was 2 years ago, even 6 months ago, but now I am also 6 dress sizes larger.
    I tried not to put myself down for gaining weight because I knew I had an extreme circumstance, but as the stretch marks rippled across my thighs like Lichtenburg figures, my family was the first to put me down. They of course to this day don’t know that I was raped, and I don’t mind their ignorance, I prefer it. They are just surprised that someone who had always maintained a size 0-4 could grow to a 10-12 so fast before their eyes, and its really concern. And it really hurts. So, thank you for putting this into words because I felt alone in my personal struggle. You gave me what I needed today: support, inspiration, and esteem.

  • Janka says:

    OMG Cassey, you look gorgeous. In fact, I think you look much better than when you were preparing for Bikini Competition. Yes, you did gain weight but you are still perfect :)

  • Adiena says:

    Cassey omg I’ve worked out to that video many times before and I have never realized that you looked any bigger or smaller in it! You are a great person, inside and out!!

  • Agnes says:

    Dear Cassey! I watch you videos it is great source of inspiration for me as I try to go back on track after having my precious baby. I appreciate your hard work because you all doing it for free. I would like to say you do not look fat at all just completely normal and beautiful. This is our culture that suggest an abnormal body image and leaving millions confused and feeling guilty. What counts is being healthy and feeling good we shouldn’T try to imitate models and people on tv. We are all mada unique and one of a kind and God loves you Cassey no matter what you or other’S think of you He still loves you.

  • Gina Marie says:

    To be honest I noticed you gained weight,but I did not judge you for it, I actually though more of you! You looked gorgeous for the bikini competition but how realistic is it to maintain you body and keep it in that shape, not very. I think you’re gorgeous and you look HEALTHY, not fat. It’s more of an inspiration and more motivating to get fitness tips from someone that isn’t stick thin. You’re still gorgeous <3

  • Rupa says:

    Cassey!you are my inspiration! I didn’t even notice you gained any weight and I love the ABC workout, you are fabulous, you have belped so many of us find more confidence and happiness with ourselves
    don’t let anyone get you down :)

  • Jill says:

    Wow. This post really spoke to me. This summer I trained extremely hard with a group of women for a fitness challenge. I worked out five days a week, did pushups, ran two miles everyday,crunches, weight lifting, and on top of that a grueling hour and a half of intense Latin/ west African based cardio. It was extremely hard, but I saw my body change in ways that I didn’t think we’re possible! And I was extremely happy with the results. However, as the summer came to an end, and the cold weather drove me indoors,, and the holidays beckoned for me to indulge in delicious food that was absolutely off limits during my training…I began to notice that the weight began to return! Even now, I’m ten pounds heavier than I was over the summer, my pants don’t fit like they used to, and I was feeling very ashamed and embarrassed for letting myself regain some of the pounds that I worked so hard to get rid of…that is .until reading this post! I feel empowered and motivated to get up and start over now! As you so simply put it weight fluctuates! It’s life! I was literally hiding in my coat so no one would notice my weight gain, sad but true. But I don’t have to be ashamed! Thank you so much for being real Cassey! You’re awesome!

  • Tang Vang says:

    In this past week, I’ve had two people ask if I was pregnant on the same day. It was kinda sad but I knew it was coming, so oh well. It was frustrating enough for my weight not to budge for three years even after working out and watching my diet; and then when I gave up, I gained 10 lbs. What is a woman to do when they’ve kinda lost hope?

    Anyhow, you look amazing!

  • Andrea Combs says:

    Cassey, thank you SO much for this post! Although I know you wrote this a while back, I’m new to this POPster community so this is my first time reading it… You are such an inspiration to me! I can completely relate to this… My Grandma has had a very negative affect on me with her rude and degrading comments about my weight gain. Hurtful comments about weight gain do affect us as women, and it’s so good to know we are not alone in feeling ashamed about it. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your transparency and honesty with us! I love you and your hilarious, upbeat work out videos :) You have motivated me to train like a beast and look like a beauty! You are so beautiful and inspiring and you are changing the lives of countless women around the world for the better :) Keep up the amazing work!

  • This upsets me that somebody would ever call you fat :( you have the perfect body!

  • rachel says:

    Cassey
    thank you for this (and everything else). you will never know how much you mean to me (and i dont even personally know you)but just wanted to let you know that your videos help me sooo much and i always end up smiling during thwm.

  • Julissa says:

    wow

  • Mary Anne says:

    Hi Cassey,
    thank you for speaking about this. I had a similar experience. I was very thin, very underweight with very little body fat. It was so hard to maintain and i was scared of gaining weight. When i started to I felt so ugly and ashamed of myself for letting myself go. People at work mentioned how i gained so much weight. (and now i am a normal weight, not underweight anymore) but all the questions and comments about my weight really hurt. I felt so bad and would punish myself by eating less and less then my body couldn’t take it anymore so i would binge. It was a psychological and physical battle i would have with myself everyday. Now i am trying to focus on being happy. focusing on being the best person I can be and treating myself how i treat others, with kindness and caring. Not beating myself up and hating my body. I would never say to a friend what i say to myself. this year i am going to try harder to be kinder to myself. thank you so much for sharing this personal story.
    Mary Anne

  • sophia says:

    wow, cassie i really admire your honesty! truthfully, i think you always look great because youre always so happy and your wonderful personality always shines through on videos. although it sounds soooo corny, your state of mind and confidence is what makes really makes you beautiful! i really think you need to do a video on body image and body confidence because the media really distorts our perception of beauty, in particular teenage girls like myself. just yesterday i was having lunch with my family and my 8 year old cousin refused to eat bread because she thought she was fat! i was in complete shock, not only because shes so young but because she told me that she wanted to be a model when she grew up, and ‘models dont eat carbs’. when i got back home i actually cried, is this how negatively we perceive ourselves nowadays? i hope you see this comment and consider doing a video, i think it would benefit so many people:)

  • liz says:

    this is my first time reading this specific blog post. I want you to know that I don’t follow you for the way your body looks. Sure it looks awesome and what I’d love to look like but I follow you because you encourage others with positivity and because you seem to strive for health. Appearance is important but health, that’s where it’s at. And if you can get a nice appearance as you reach for health, then great but it’s not what is important, to me at least. I don’t consider what you did “letting go.” The bikini competition was a temporary time set aside to achieve a certain appearance. It doesn’t sound like maintaining that level of diet and exercise would have been healthy for you and I think that is an important nugget of knowledge.

    For me, after I had my baby, and I wasn’t able to lose my baby weight as I thought I would. I realized how much I tied my appearance and weight to my self worth and value and how poorly I thought of myself now that I was slightly heavier. I think it was a really important realization for me. I had to learn to disconnect the two – self worth doesn’t come from my appearance nor weight. I had to re-evaluate and keep reminding myself: I value health, therefore I should strive for health, not appearance. And i shouldn’t fool myself into saying I value health but secretly strive only for the nice appearance.

    I’m proud of you for sharing

    We’re all learning about ourselves as we go, learning about our lives, about what works for us, about others. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

    • Laura says:

      ^ I agree!! :)

    • EMILY says:

      Thanks, i completely agree with you. People always believe that feeling good about themselves is dependent upon how much they strive to get “ON TRACK”… i hate that word. I see so many commercials about “feeling” and “looking” your best by eating “clean” and following a structured exercise plan. Its not really promoting a true self image is it? If there is always talk about staying on a specific schedule. I have suffered from an eating disorder (Anorexia) for about four years now, and from that experience i have learned that reaching a certain body shape and weight can only last so long, our bodies are not meant to be depreived of so many things. I try really hard to run my life by “Normal eating” eating from ALL FOUR FOOD GROUPS!!! none of the “oh this food group is cut out b/c of the sugar, or cutting carbs b/c it can turn into fat.” LIke….what the hec!!! This involves way too much emotional time and energy. I make sure i eat wholesome foods that make my body feel good. And yes, I especially on weekends do not think about how my food fits into my weekly schedule. I eat what i want…20/80 rule. It is just so frustrating to hear so many people try and motivate others to stay on track, when ultimately our bodies just need to be given what it craves…or else you will feel unhappy because you will have the worst feeling..”deprivation” So I agree with the fact that gaining weight should not be something to stress about…it will fluctuate back to its normal feel. Media, and society has made us feel like this…and it’s wrong! We are all beautiful, EVEN if we fall of our “TRACK”

  • mar says:

    Cassey, you’re such an inspiration to me. Each and every time i read one of your blogs, i feel such warmth and honesty afterwards. I’ve been called fat all my life by my very superficial mother and have only recently made the decision to start losing weight. I lost about 20lbs when I was unemployed but once I started my job, it became harder and harder to go out and exercise and eat the right things. I fell off the wagon quite a bit which made me feel ashamed of myself but after reading this post, I know the only thing I should be feeling is determination to get back on a clean diet and a regular work out schedule. Thank you for always being there to help me remember that failure only happens if you get knocked down, and stay down. Best of luck to you and your goals as well!

    love always,
    mar!

  • Jordana Calzavara says:

    Hey, there Cassey!
    I was very disappointed to know that people watch your video and judge the way you look. You are incredible hot and perfect, and such a inspiration to all of us!!! Kind regards from Brazil xxx

  • andrea says:

    fat on abc abs heck noooooo
    you look awesome plus u can do this workout …bet the people calling you fat can’t

  • Maureen says:

    This post almost made me cry-and it was empowering at the same time.

    I had gotten into sick shape right before the holidays. Lowest fat % of my life and my clothes were getting too big for me. I was getting a lot of comments on my weight loss and was feeling great about it…then of course Thanksgiving…Christmas…and soon the New Year. The holidays are always rough with sticking to a healthy diet-with all the parties and such. Alcohol, sweets, etc. I know I’m not in great shape-I’ve almost worked my way back up to running 7 miles without stopping, but it’s the GUILT that gets me.
    I count calories and it’s been such a negative in my life. When I focus so much on that number, I think less about quality and quantity of what I eat and more about how many calories I have left. It’s hard to think of a time when I could sit down to a meal and just think “that looks delicious and healthy” instead of “how many calories are in that?”
    A very enlightening post. Thank you, Cassey.

  • Lisa L. says:

    Coming back from college, one of the first things my mother noticed was my weight gain.
    She slowly brought it up through conversation, but I wasn’t offended (at first) … I knew…
    Eventually it hit me, and size 5-7 didn’t fit when we went out to the mall….
    I used to be overweight, and I had worked so hard to get the body I wanted in high school. Now, it felt like I truly had failed myself……

    I’ve finally had time to start working out again and while my body was giving up the first couple of days, it finally got strong enough to the point I could start doing my Insanity workouts without apologizing to myself for having to stop halfway. I know I’m strong, I know I could have a great body if college consisted of 14-16 hours of workouts, but going to a rigorous college and trying to balance -homework assignments, healthy meals, a fair social life, 7-8 hours of sleep, and bathing time is NOT easy at all :(

    Cassey thank you for being such a lovely human who isn’t ashamed to admit her flaws….
    Although I sometimes replace some of the workout on the calendar with insanity or p90x (sowry….<3), you are still my ultimate source of inspiration for staying motivated and healthy. You stress the importance of food and the importance of being happy and for the past couple of years, you have been the reason I don't hate on my body as much as I used to.
    Thank-you always!
    Love,
    Lisa

  • Emma says:

    Hey Cassey ! I really loved your text. I completly agree with you ! And I understand what you mean … (I’m not an Asian girl, but anyway, I know that ;-) ) Don’t worry about what people say ! You stay, for all Popsters the most inspirating people for us !!! <3 We love you so much, and don't make a scene ! Honestly, you still beautiful and you still have a perfect body <3 You're just amazing and awesome, A few pounds more, it makes us more sweety :P
    Cassey <3 XOXO from France !

    • Sidra says:

      Yeah, you are absolute right! :)

      love you Cassey, greetings from Germany! ♥

  • Tobes says:

    I feel ever word you wrote. I live in Nicaragua and the culture is obsessed with commenting on physical appearance. I love my life here and I love the people even more. I am not going to lie though, being told on a daily basis that I look ¨too fat, too thin, sickly, tired…¨ really started to take a toll on my self esteem. I had come to Nicaragua after battling bulimia for years and was proud of the advances I had made in stabilizing my thoughts and achieving a healthy weight. However, all the progress I had made was stopped dead in its tracks after just a few months of this daily critique. Three years later, very little has changed. I am still in Nicaragua, I still love my life here, and people still find it their right to comment on my weight. I cannot change the way other people act, no one can. However, through hard work I finally grasped that I can change how I react to others. Instead of beating myself up for that extra papaya smoothie I had yesterday or for missing a work out when someone comments negatively about my weight, I use the comment as motivation to get back on track with working hard and eating clean. Cassie, I have followed you for a long time and I constantly see you as one of the few positive female role models in the world. A former trainer once looked at me and said ¨you have extra fat on your belly this week, what did you do!?¨ I was crushed. I abandoned the gym and fell deep into personal berating. Thanks to you I found courage to look at myself in the mirror and say that I am beautiful. To know that if today was a rough work out, tomorrow´s will be better as my flexibility and strength grow. I hope you keep being strong and proud of yourself. I was disgusted when I read the negative posts about the inner thigh gap and your nominal weight gain after the bikini competition. You are a regular girl and that is what makes you and your message about training like a beast and eating clean so powerful.

    Keep posting and being a role model for the whole popsters community!

  • Delilah says:

    It still blows my mind how people can be so quick to point out others’ “faults” when they have their own as well. A bikini competition is rough on the body; our bodies aren’t meant to endure that 24/7 365 days a year. It’s short term, it’s hard work, and weight gain after is perfectly normal, any competitor has their competition weight and normal weight. There’s no shame in it, especially since you’re still staying fit, healthy, and eating clean (just not competition clean!). People who toss insults like that should feel shame. That’s unhealthy criticism, not meant to encourage. This whole community is about encouragement, it’s what you’ve built, what we’ve all built. You encourage all of us!

  • Bonnie says:

    People don’t realize that bikini and fitness models, bodybuilders, etc don’t stay in that shape year round. It would be a miserable existence! You NEVER looked chubby but I suppose that when you reach max leanness, there’s nowhere to go but down and any weight gain is going to be commented on. I’m glad you posted this and got real.

  • Amanda says:

    Cassey,
    You always respond so gracefully to the rude and tactless people on the internet. I really appreciate that you took the time to answer the questions that were coming at you, and how you shaped your answer in a way that inspires others. I have been gaining weight recently and my pants have started to get tighter. I am a grad student and had absolutely no time or motivation to workout last semester and I want to start getting back on track this semester to start gaining muscle again. It can be really frustrating to see your weight fluctuate, and coming from someone with body and eating issues, it is very hard to hear someone call you out on it. My family thinks I need to GAIN weight, even though I am a healthy weight for my height, so they try to make me eat more and eat unhealthily which is really frustrating because it’s like I’m always disappointing them. Sigh. We all have our own problems on this topic, and that is why I am so glad you started the discussion; We are all in this together.

  • mary says:

    Wow! You are the most inspiring and honest fitness trainers out there!! Love you! <3

  • jenesaispas says:

    Girl you are beautiful inside and out. I’m so happy you can have such a good outlook on your life and your body because you deserve to feel awesome all the time :)

  • sophie says:

    This wrealy helped me.The article wrealy showed that your a human being and you are not perfect. I Think that´s what i love the most about you. You are so real,honest and nice.Thanx<3 xoxo Sophie

  • Lillian says:

    I swear, the normal greeting from Asian family members has been and probably always will be about my weight. Either if I gained weight or lost weight but in my mind, that’s always the main thing they comment on when they see me. I learned to get over it because in an odd way, it means they care. Also, I stopped caring what other people say about my weight. What really matters is to be healthy so that I can enjoy life but that also means eating amazing food and not deprive myself of happiness. Life is about balance.

    With that said, I’ve been going to the gym at least 3 times a week and dancing at least 2 times a week. I love feeling fit, having more energy, and still enjoying food. I’m not aiming to lose a lot of weight because of my body type it’s not possible to be super thin. Instead, my goal is to become a stronger dancer and a stronger person. Thanks Cassey for staying true to who you are, you are inspirational <3

  • Stephanie says:

    This is one of the best articles I have ever read! I have struggled with eating disorders and counting calories to the extreme and you nailed this exactly. Thank you so much for the encouraging read. I hope you never get discouraged or ashamed of your body because you are such a beautiful inspiration to so many people.
    Thank you!

  • Roxanne says:

    I know what you mean! I don’t know if it’s just my family and relatives, but they’re super judgemental. I’m really short and I look kinda fat easily, mostly in my thighs, and I LOVED wearing shorts all the time (since I love in a tropical country). But in the past year, I’ve been told by my family that I’ve gained weight. Okay, I’ll admit, I did get a teensy bit crazy on my food, but surely I didn’t gain THAT much weight to be told that I’m fat over and over again! At that point I was completely crushed and didn’t dare to wear shorts anymore, always wearing knee length pants. And to be honest, I still don’t wear shorts when I go out, even though I’m starting to get toned.

    I just want to say, please don’t judge others. Even if they say that they don’t mind about it, I, from personal experience, can tell you that it more or less DOES affect a person.

  • carolinaH says:

    you know what? .. when someone told me i’m getting back my fat , it something helpfull for me , because that makes me realise that i need to train harder or eat healthier and maybe i’m doing something wrong with my diet… so i makes some changes in my diet and trainig calendar and work harder.. cause our mirror let us look what we wanna look , and maybe you arent the fit as you want it to be , but that stupid mirror said a lie .. so if someone tell me if i’m fat , is so much helpfull for me… and remind having a diet or working out is not a sad job .. is being happy with ur new life style and being happy with yourself ……. ( it’s just my point of view) … anyway i’m agree with you in some parts , and if you feel great how you are riht now, who cares what people thing! :)

  • Mellissa VanBriesen says:

    Hey Cassey, I just wanted to say, I am only 13 years old! I started my sixth grade year at about 120 pounds of almost purely fat. I found a video on youtube called Blogilates and I did your calendar for about 3 months. I lost 5 or 6 pounds in the process. I admit I was kind of disappointed that after all that I wasn’t like the people on tv who said “I did this diet plan and lost 40 pounds in twelve weeks!” But then I compared myself to a picture of my beggining of the year picture. I looked ten hundred times better! Everything was more toned and I went down 3 jean sizes and 2 shirt sizes. Even my face was far less round! I started running and got very good at it I took up cross country and trained so hard for it I lost another 5 pounds. I feel way better physically and emotionally I am way more confident. My cross country season really took off too but I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you!

  • Amber says:

    You know what Cassey? This entire article just made my day. I mean it has completely lifted my spirits. Even after eating clean, and still working out all through the Christmas holidays, I noticed some weight gain too. My abs became less defined. I was so frustrated, and I felt like I was failing. I tried working out harder, but there was still a layer of fat over what was once my toned abs. I know it’s because, despite my best efforts to eat clean, I still had to go to three different family holiday dinners. I still was given an obscene amount of chocolate and desserts that I haven’t eaten in a very long time since starting my fitness journey. I indugled a bit. It felt REALLY good. But I also felt guilty, and ashamed for doing so.

    So DON’T feel ashamed Cassey for gaining a bit of weight! We are ALL human, and it’s hard to be ‘perfect’, (impossible actually). I eat when I’m stressed too. But I also know the new year is a clean start, and thank God there won’t be any more holiday dinners! I can get back to eating healthy!

    Any other POPsters who feel this way after the holidays- don’t!! It’s a new beginning with the new year and we can all get back on track! No one feel lost or ashamed!!

    <3

  • Sherock says:

    Hi Cassey, nice article I think I could really relate to this one, because I noticed that I gained some wait! This makes me feel awful. You know, working so hard to beat those extra weight and then starting to gain them back again. But hey, its the holiday season, with lots of parties and food. I just cant help it.
    I guess whats important is that we know what foods to avoid and to eat in moderation. It is really impossible not to sway from our strict diet plan and exercise from time to time, whats best is how we get back on track. It is such a comfort knowing that a very good fitness instructor like you Cassey is also experiencing these things. It makes me feel that ill be okay. That i am not losing. You always inspire us Cassey. You are the best because you are so transparent about how you feel.
    Gudluck. Happy New Year!

  • Sherice B says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. I makes me feel better to know someone I look up to has the same thoughts as me. I have been struggling because I lost 30+lbs and now I have gained it back due to a stressful year at college. I am upset I gained the weight back and I try to remind myself that if I lost the weight once I CAN do it again. My goal this year is to work on my confidence and treat myself with the respect that I deserve!

  • Pamela Ciprian says:

    This is just happening to me as of now… Chirstmas weight packed on and I started to feel really bad about myself. Thanks for being so honest and open, this really helped me see a different light on weight gaining after you lost a tone. :)

  • Shannon says:

    Cassey,

    Goodness knows, you aren’t fat. I think that you gaining some weight IS inspirational and I’m glad you spoke out about it. I would feel like some abnormal being if I didn’t see my favorite fitness gurus go up and down. The point is, you are still in shape. The point is, you can still lose it – IF you wanted to. The point is, you’re beautiful. Everyday I get up and I give it a shot, I don’t give up, because of people like you. Everyday, especially when I’ve had a bad binge or bad.. month.. I don’t give up because I know I can try again and you’ll show me the way. I honestly love you. You are real, just like the rest of us. To me, that makes you more valuable.

    Thank you.
    Sincerely, Thank you.

  • Victoria says:

    I have completely lost my fitness regime this year, with working, doing course work and studying for exams there was no room for fitness, everything else left me exhausted. After my course finishedI started doing working out here and there but just couldn’t find my flow again, motivation was gone and then from September onwards my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome kicked in and with working extra hours at work during November and December and house hunting I was Stressed andd exhausted again. I haven’t gained very much wait maybe a a pound all my cloths still fit fine but I have lost slot of body done especially on my tummy which I have felt horrendously guilty about but recently I have felt a little better. I have allowed my self to rest and I feel a lot better at the moment so I say screw it start again in the new year, step by step and then pick up the pace when I can. Our bodies usually react like it does for some reason or another!

  • Gladys De Vera says:

    And BAM! …EXACTLY why I love you Cassie!!! xx

  • Gladys De Vera says:

    And BAM! EXACTLY why I love you Cassie! xx

  • bel says:

    Hi Cassey thank you for sharing this :) you are such an awesome and amazing role model for us all 3 thank you for that case!

  • Selman says:

    Thank you so much for this!

  • Juliet says:

    Dearest Cassey,
    Thank u so much for posting this blog up. It speaks up my mind too! Nobody is picture perfect and we live only once. So why the struggle, the fear, the CONSTANT anxiety?! Besides, I have to agree that a bit of weight gain does make us stronger. I, myself, experienced that. As long as we listen to our body’s needs, I think it’ll take care of it’s own. And who knows what we may end up 40-50 years down the road? What’s next? Ashamed of people (or kids) commenting about your wrinkles, saggy boobs and gray hair? C’mon, ppl, give yourselves a break! Have a break, have a KitKat :D

  • Mari says:

    Hey Cassey! Loved the article! And it came at a great time too.
    For the most part, I’m fairly petite. My friends like to joke that I have the “Asian gene” – you have a rather petite figure and look younger than you actually are. Haha! (I’m half-Filipino, by the way.)
    Very true for relatives to openly ask if you’ve gained weight. My mom is usually the first to pick up on whether I’ve gained or lost weight. She always tries to make sure my sisters and I are eating properly and if we’re not, she’s not shy about telling us if we’re looking a little big around the middle. She would never say it in front of company, though. She wouldn’t dare try to embarrass us like that.
    On the other hand, I’m pretty sure my boyfriend’s mom goes out of her way to put her son down in front of people. The other day when I was at my boyfriend’s, she called him “Fatty” in front of me as he was leaving the room (he was sick of listening to her insults). I admit and he admits that he is clinically overweight but knowing that he’s been working his butt off for almost a year to lose that extra weight and then hear his own mother call him fat, I was livid with her.
    If looks could kill, she’d probably be dead right now. I told her that I couldn’t believe she said to her son and despite her saying she was joking – accompanied by a very fake laugh – I told her it wasn’t very good joke and left to go find my boyfriend.
    It truly saddens me how insensitive people can be when talking about someone else’s weight.

  • Jaimie says:

    Thank you so much for this. I’m glad I’m not alone. I’ve always had trouble with my own fluctuating weight. The past few years I’ve dropped and gained weight because of my inability to balance school, work, exercise, and diet. During Winter and Summer break, I’ll be fine with exercise and diet, but when school comes along it’s like everything falls apart. This gives me major body image and self-esteem issues. I

    Hopefully now with the New Body Makeover meal plan, I’ll be able to get things back on track and be able feel better about my body.

  • laurel says:

    i love the way you look cassey and you know why? because you are fit!! with more or less meat on your bones you always look fit. all the things you said are true. we are human beings and our weight will always fluctuate. i suffered from anorexia and bulimia and your blog and workout calendar helped me a lot in my recovery and it still does help me. my ideea of perfection was a skinny girl with thigh gap and all the bones showing off. now i want to become just like you :strong and i want to see and feel my muscles thru my skin. i love you and all your work and i want you to know that i admire you a lot for you are a happy and a good person because you help so many of us and you enjoy your life. keep up the good work!!

  • Jodi says:

    I think it’s so sad that trolls thought it was ok to shame your body. I really don’t understand why so many people fetishise being really thin. I think you look great now you look feminine and strong and super fit. Love your videos you’re a hard worker who’s devoted to her job which is inspirational I don’t watch your videos to see how big your thigh gap is I watch them to improve my fitness. Keep up the good work. X

  • Sarah says:

    Cassie,
    I wanna thank you for posting this. Reading your blog and doing your workouts has helped me a lot over the past year or so. I found your blog a couple months after my great grandmother’s 90th birthday. A couple of my aunts and I planned it. It was a huge party that took a lot of work for everyone invovled in the planning. Anyway I went over to her to say hi and happy birthday. She looks at me and says you need to start working out, you are starting to look unnatural. It blew my mind how she could just come at so bluntly and say something so harsh. I spent the rest of the party avoiding her and when putting her presents in her car to go home she sends my grandma to ask if I was mad at her.
    My grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary was this past year also and my aunt and I were planning a party for them. My great grandma pulled me aside just before we had them cut the cakes and told me I didn’t need to eat any cake.
    I sort of fell into my old high school habits of not eating, which does not work when taking College Anatomy and Physiology and having to on almost a daily basis go into a Cadvar Lab. My friend Patricia actually caught on to my not eating on a daily basis and confronted me about it.. She introduced me to your blog.
    I now eat for the most part at least twice a day. I am still working on getting an excercise routine in place.
    Thank you,
    Sarah

  • Lauren says:

    This post came at the perfect time in this 12 week body makeover challenge. You always look healthy and are a huge inspiration. Life happens and its nice to know that no one is perfect. During the christmas week I fell off the new body makeover challenge wagon big time and to boot I caught a cold and continued to eat and snack. I’ve been beating myself up about it but reading your post has really helped. I will just get right back up and keep trying. thanks cassey

  • Nicole says:

    Wow, I’m a little newer to the Blogilates community so this is my first time reading this blog.
    You know, as long as you are in good health and always growing as a professional, I could care less if you gain some/ lose some! Honestly, that natural weight fluctuation only makes me trust you more; you’re a real person and not just a face and a brand.
    Keep it going and stay healthy; mind body and soul!!!

  • Cupcake says:

    I am crying right now…This is literally the exact moment I needed to read this. I was just talking with a friend about some cracks my mom has made over winter break about weight, eating, and “laziness”. I had a very rough semester of pulling my GPA up and near the end of the semester I got really into Blogilates. I lost 20lbs so far and I was feeling great about it but when winter break came I cut down my work out schedule to just cardio to allow myself some much needed rest from how I’d abused myself with work and lack of sleep over the semester. My mom immediately started making remarks about how I was lazy for not wanting to get out and do much over break and started saying I should work out and such because I was gaining back the weight I had lost (which is not true. I gained back maybe 3lbs of the 20lbs so freaking what? That’s perfectly normal when in transition). After a while the comments really started to get to me and I started to have the dreaded funhouse mirror effect where for some reason I saw myself as a ton heavier than I really was. This article is such a much-needed reminder not to listen to such talk. I am feeling a little bit better about myself now. Weight loss is a process, health is a lifestyle, and as hard as the weight is to lose, nobody should ever live in such terror over the thought of simply gaining a pound or two back when you go through something different. I’m choosing to let my body rest rather than continue to overwork it and make it unhealthy in a different way than it was when I was heavier…Get over it haters.

  • Sherlyn says:

    Hi Cassey, thank you for this post. I have been really afraid I would gain back the weight I lost and it’s making me very sad. I feel so encouraged after reading this entry. Thank you!

  • Isabell says:

    Hey Cassy,
    After Reading this I have some things to say.
    First of YOU LOOK WONDERFUL the way you look now – you dont HAVE to lose fat again, you really dont (unless yiu want to ofc) im just saying it should not be because you feel like you HAVE to.
    Plus, to have some extra fat – is good – why? Well if you get sick your body Will need some fat for energy – which is why havinga very low fat % May look good, but is not very good.
    I have no idea what your Weight or fat % is, but it is just a thing to remember.
    You look great, and is a great inspiration for me – who myself is dealing with the same thoughts as you.
    Much love Isabell x

  • leanna says:

    After YEARS of not believing this and feeling ashamed of my body I am finally getting a grasp on this and it feels great. I hope your post inspires and is a wake up call to many who read it. <3

  • Maria says:

    Thank you so much for this cassey. I felt like this needed to be said, no one is perfect 24/7 but the point is, when life gets you down you gotta get back up and thats okay.

  • […] 1. Ashamed of Gaining Weight (1263 comments) – a post about how I gained weight back after my bikini competition and how people were telling me I looked fat. […]

  • Jen says:

    My really skinny sister called me fat. It got my head messed up. So I tried looking for workouts videos. I found Blogilates. Honestly, at the start, all I was thinking about was losing that thigh fat, getting skinnier. But you, Cassey, have made me realise I don’t need that. You made me feel good while doing your workouts. I’m going strong on the new body makeover calendar and I’m already feeling great.

    Thanks Cassey.

  • Thanks for sharing your thoughts on tv streaming live.
    Regards

  • Kris says:

    Cassey I think you looked great in your ABC Abs video, you always look great to me, but I completely understand where you are coming from… even if they mean well it always hurts when someone points out the elephant in the room – gained weight >.<. You are right about one thing though, no one can be perfect 24/7 and it is important to be able to say …yea so I put on a few pounds, but you know what I' M GOING BEAST MODE TO BURN 'EM OFF, and I WILL BE BETTER THAN I EVER WAS. You just have to keep moving forward, I have a personal mantra for myself when I feel down:

    The beauty is the struggle.

    Life would not be amazing, complex, or exhilarating without both the ups and downs. It is that vibrant take charge ferocity that makes every minute count, and the resiliency to stand up to the challenge that makes us strong and beautiful. I don't think you gained weight I think you gained character and perspective to push harder and go farther … tell those haters to back off, you don't need their negativity. ♥♥♥

  • Heather says:

    This is so relieving and inspiring. You have no idea how often we, or at least I, look at a fitness professional and think, “They must be so disciplined all the time, 24/7.” I wouldn’t consider myself fat, but I too have gained the weight back from one year ago. I trained for a bikini competition, was in the gym everyday, ate only what I was “supposed to” when I was “supposed to.” And yes, I looked incredible, like I had never seen my body look ever before. It was an amazing feeling. But then life happened, and I didn’t have as much time to prepare meals and hit the gym twice a day, or sometimes even once. Do I feel guilty? Of course. Do I wish I had my disciplined body back? Of course. But like Cassey said, it’s life. It happens! If we all stick together and help each other work through the hard parts, we can achieve our goals together!

    Thank you so much Cassey; you are incredible.

  • Stella says:

    Hi cassey,

    Oh So much relieves to hear that somebody like you say this kind of thing. Working as auditor making me an uber busy carrer girl , sometimes we don’t even have time to sleep, especially on those deadline, with no sufficient sleep time and ate whatever we have (mostly junk foods and chinese foods).
    And then back home or when attending some family gathering, my mom, aunts, sisters will ask me. ” seriously, you’r getting that fat! How could it be?!” hearing this makes me wanna cry, could they imagine how much time i spent at work, with no time to sleep and eat properly, how hard to find a little time to do exercise, not to mention hormones and every stress a work.
    Reading your post make me realize, it’s not about how people think about us, they could think whatever they want, and still we’r the one who know what going on in our life, its up and down. I’m not too fat actually, i’m kinda normal girl with normal weight, i’m still on my size 10. So just because I”m not as skinny as other girls, doesn’t meant that i’m fat or bad.

    Thanks Cassey, I Love your blog, I’m exercising everyday with your videos!
    Keep that good job!

  • Minhyun says:

    thank you and God bless you Cassey for n ot being perfect. a true role model is a person who has and shares the same temptations and problems as the rest of us. the fact that you gain weight, struggle with constantly eating healthy, all while being in the public eye is truly inspirational. personally, it is very discouraging for me to follow anyone who is too perfect. I feel like I can never be good enough or match my instructor or role model. any flaws but you have, including gaining weight, just serves to prove that you are just like us and we are all in the same battle together. so thank you so much again for addressing this and for reminding us that you are not perfect. it brings all of us even closer together! by the way I am Korean so I know what the fat comments are all about hahaha :-)

  • Lottie says:

    Thank you so much Cassey :) xx

  • Katherine says:

    I wanted to comment on this because it really struck home for me. I am struggling with this horrible guilt of gaining weight and it really made me feel better to realize that I am not in the minority here :)

    When I was doing my undergrad I lost 70 lbs and got down to 155 lbs. I felt awesome and really proud of myself. I was walking to school everyday (an hour in total) and eating a lot healthier away from my mom’s cooking haha. When I started my masters I moved back home and it went downhill. I was driving all the time and I knew that I was not controlling how much I ate. It was so easy to fall back into old habits. Next thing I knew I was back up 40 lbs (I should also say that I went through a rough time after graduating that really did not help the situation).

    I have been feeling horrible about it and instead of doing something, I just kept being down on myself. I recently moved out of my parents’ home to go back to school and realized that I need to take hold of my life and make myself feel better because no one else was going to do it for me. It just happened that I found these videos on youtube and they have put me back on the path to feeling good again.

    This is something that I will struggle with forever but I realized that every time I start to look in the mirror and be negative I just stop myself and look for the positives. It sounds cheesy but it works :)

  • I should say, in that photo, you look fantastic. Which thing was more important? food or exercises?

  • Desiree says:

    I once lost 35 pounds in a year through restricting, and was borderline underweight. I was told I looked great, and though I felt not-so-great, I loved my body. But then I decided to lose 10 more pounds, and I think that was the breaking point for my body and I couldn’t stop binge eating. It has been over a year now and my eating has slowly been regulating. Needless to say, I have a little over 20 pounds back, and am determined to get back on track.

    PS. I know exactly what you mean by Asian relatives commenting about your weight, as I come from an Asian family myself. My weight is a topic that is bound to be brought up during a conversation and the frustration of having my weight problems made into jokes around the dinner table drives me over the edge.

    Thank you so much for posting this because it is truly a sense of relief to know that I am not the only one going through this.

  • Joyce says:

    Happy to know that I am not the only one afraid of an apple. I really needed to hear this, thanks. Back on track and already feeling better after a week.

  • Katie says:

    last spring, i felt incredibly ashamed of my body, so i ate very little and exercised a ton to get the dream bikini body I wanted. i got to a body i loved, but then summer started, and there was an excess of sugary and junk foods, which i allowed myself to eat using the excuse that it was summer and one meal wouldn’t kill me. as a result, i gained 10 lbs. im finding it very hard to get my old body back, no matter how healthy i eat or how much i exercise. my self esteem is in the pits, leaving me to not enjoy myself as much as i used to. ive started eating less and less because i just want to be confident again. pretty much weight gain sucks and im not really coping too well.

  • Manon says:

    I had worked really hard to eat clean for a couple weeks and I broke it and started eating ALL the time and I ate all the food that was bad for me because I had restricted myself from eating it for so long. I get how you feel! This gives me motivation to try again. Thank you so much Cassey, you’re an inspiration!

  • Andreanne says:

    Yeah well, weight gain or not, I still can’t talk during your videos and you can….

    So I guess you’re still pretty much in shape, don’t listen to haters girl, you look fabulous either way (altough this one is probably more healthy…)

    we are POPsters and we love you!

  • Allison S says:

    Dear Cassey,
    This post made me feel such relief. I had recently lost about 50lbs, and was so very happy I finally did. It was before my wedding, and it sure made me feel better about my body.
    Fast forward about 3 months to today. I have gained back 10lbs. My pants are not fitting, again. I am feeling disgusted with my lack of self control and laziness.
    Reading this made me realize it’s time to stop being so damn hard on myself. It’s time to get back on track, but not so much that I’m sitting beside the fridge crying because I’m afraid of eating the “wrong” foods.
    I am so grateful that someone who people like me look up to, is not afraid of gaining a little bit of weight. And you’re telling us! It’s a miracle to hear that someone with what many of us feel is a “perfect” body, can admit when they’re not on track. I know you’ll get your bikini bod again, not like you don’t have one now anyways (you know what I mean right?).
    I still would like to lose roughly 30-35lbs. I will, WILL do this. I will do your videos. I will stay active and try harder to get off the couch after a long day and go to the gym. I will stop buying food that I have no control with (chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, I’m talking about you). I will also stop hating myself so much, because that’s my #1 problem. I can lose the weight. I did it before, and I will do it again.
    Thank you so much for reminding us that progress is a sliding scale, and s few set back are not the end of the world, and it doesn’t make us a crappy person.
    You are so helpful Cassey! Thanks again.

  • Madie says:

    Hey Cassie!!!

    love your videos!!! I’ve been in almost the exact same situation with my weight! I’m actually studying to be a nutritionist (: but, anyway I’m a ballet dancer and am really hard on my body. My weight has done the same thing as yours and my mom won’t let me forget it. She lets me know I’m chubby/chunky/not lean anymore. It really really hurts because I’m already super hard on myself. I know how you feel!

  • jhiselle says:

    Hi cassey , i think your amazing. I also have a family who remimds me of my weight when i see them but i do the most damage to myself mentally. Thank you for your words because they ment a lot to me today :)

  • Abigail says:

    Also, I thinks fat should be destigmatized. There is nothing wrong with fat. I like the fat I have on my stomach. It makes me soft and I like that about myself. I’d also appreciate my stomach if it had rock hard abs. Whatever we are, we should love. I think it’s inappropriate of your family to comment on your body when you gain weight. It’s not our duty to pass judgement on the bodies of others. You can tell a friend that they look great without relating it to weight, you can just say you look happy and good, and your friend will be aas pleased as punch to hear that compliment :)

  • Abigail says:

    I think it’s important to remember that a huge priority for all of us should be happiness. We each find happiness and healthiness in different ways. For some, being healthy means exercising once a week and eating a balanced diet but also allowing for treats. For other it means not exercising at all and eating whatever they want. And for some it means sticking to a strict meal plan and exercising daily. As long as we remember not to judge people based on their appearance but by how happy they are. For example, I am not on the exercise train at all right now. I recognize that exercise makes me happy and makes my brain release endorphins. And being physically fit (reasonably so) is somewhat important to me. But right now, I just don’t have the time. Yes, there’s a lot going on in my life; I’m a student. I’m incredibly active when it comes to academics and my social life. These things both make me so happy. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m not the thinnest nor am I the heaviest. I’m not too out of control with my eating habits. My sexual partners and friends find me sexy and attractive, and I do too. I would like to establish a regular exercise routine, not with the goal to change my body, but to make my brain feel happy and nice and physically tired. But it’s not necessary for me to do that to feel healthy. We all have different priorities and goals and ideals for ourselves. What I just shared are mine.

    Ps. All bodies are bikini bodies! Do you ever go to the beach and judge people for being on the chunkier side and wearing a bikini? I don’t. Power to them for not being ashamed of their body, and for loving it enough to show it off to the public.

  • Ruth says:

    When I was younger, puberty hadn’t been so kind to me. All I wanted to do was laze around and eat whatever my hands could grab. Of course, this led to a lot of weight gain and I was wearing size twelve jeans when I was only in middle school.
    Before middle school, and during, my dad always liked to make snide comments about my portion sizes at dinner and that I should at least leave some food for everyone else (although there was plenty left). I suffered dramatically and his comments would always make me eat more.
    Over time, I’ve learned to watch what I eat and control my weight. I’m starting to learn how to feel beautiful and comfortable in my own skin.
    I think the world should respect women for who we are and not our sizes. We are beautiful because we are strong and confident inside and out.
    When I started Blogilates, I was amazed by how peppy you were and how you always stressed about inner beauty and confidence and strength. I admired that greatly. I have been going through a personal struggle in my life and, honestly, Cassey, you have helped me through it so far.
    Thank you. Thank you so much. And I’m sorry that that happened to you. I, personally, think you are an inspiration and a very wonderful person. You’re doing an amazing job! :)

  • Leo says:

    Honestly, I think you look more womanly, sexy, and healthy when you’re not as thin as a stick. And I am sure many people agree with me. You don’t need to eat clean all the time. My great-grandma survived two world wars in Germany and lived to be 98 years old. She went to a beautiful cafe every afternoon and had at least one big piece of cake. Probably two. She was never skinny, but she was beautiful, and she didn’t stress. Don’t deprive yourself of everything, it’s not healthy either. You know that yourself, as long as your food is not full of artificial ingredients ice cream and cake are fine too. It’s all about balance. I decided to something sweet every day. As an athlete you burn most of it off anyway, and you keep a little for hard times ;)

  • phuong linh says:

    i’m 14 and i’m from an Asian family(Vietnam) so i really understand what ur talking about. it’s really embarrassing when everyone in my house just comes right up to me and say ‘u look FAT, ur legs r huge u need to lose some weight’ blah blah blah so i get really depressed and i try to hide whenever they start judging me. i’ve tried ur workouts and i’ve also tried cycling but i don’t really see much changes can u tell me plz how long will it take me to get my body in shape if i workout 30 mins everyday?

    • Beth Greenwood says:

      Hi Phuong Linh!
      I’m really sorry, that must be mentally hurting you so much. Big hugs for you! It all depends on what you eat in comparison to what exercise you do. For example, to lose 12 pounds I ate 1500 calories a day of healthy food and worked out for 30 minutes a day. It took me about a month to lose the weight, but it didn’t make me ill or take a huge toll on my energy levels. Make sure you eat clean and don’t rush it, or you will make yourself very ill. Remember to set yourself goals and not let others set them for you – when you are comfortable, stop. It’s not other peoples’ place to tell you when you’re “too fat” when you feel fine within themselves.
      All the best of luck!
      Beth

    • patricia says:

      hi!
      first of all,happy new year (if you are following western christian calendar) and all the best for you. now, you are 14. It s not advisable to go for a diet.But you can start eating more veggies n fruits, for snack instead of something else. Exercising is the best way. You may not see big change but it will pay off ater. I know it may seems nonsense what I’m saying now .You want results and you want it now, I understand. But I encourage to put yourself first, your health first., not your looks and never how others see you. If your parents or relaties make any comment about your weight, just tell them, do you love me for myself or for my weight? tell them that family has to be a loving place, with supportive people n if you want to hear people to put you down, you ll just have to look at music video or magazine. I mean, let them know what how they make you fell by their comments. Wish you the best

  • Jenissa says:

    I have to say that this is me now. I have always been the thin one in my family, but a year ago I moved to a new city for school and I gained weight. A lot of weight. Looking at myself in pictures now makes me feel horrible. I have stopped going out so I don’t have any chance of a picture being taken. Last time I went home all I heard from my family was how I look bigger and that maybe I should make more time to exercise. I know they don’t mean to be mean, but it still hurts. I’m not looking forward to thanksgiving. I’m sorry for what you went through, but I’m so grateful that you shared it with us. You are a great inspiration and beautiful at any size.

  • brandy says:

    Thank you cassey! It is such an encouragement to know that you, as a fitness instructor, go through the same diet and weight problems that the rest of us do! thank you for being honest and expressing your feelings. You are truly an inspiration!

  • fantastic put up, very informative. I’m wondering why the other experts of this sector don’t
    realize this. You must proceed your writing.
    I’m sure, you’ve a huge readers’ base already!

  • Kohl says:

    Cassey,
    I want to say that I admire you, and you are an
    incredibly strong woman!You are an inspiration to
    so many people. You should be very proud of
    yourself. I know it’s easier said than done with the
    way some people in the world think, and act. We
    are judged mainly by our looks. You have done an
    amazing job of motivating, and inspiring us
    POPsters. Let us return the favor to you Cassey.
    You are amazing at any size. Our goal is to be
    healthy. You inspire me with your workout videos. I
    have been struggling with my weight my whole life.
    I was 197 pounds at 5’10. That was great for me.I
    was very healthy. I am a dancer, I ran, I walked,etc…
    Unfortunately,I still developed a seizure
    disorder.This was 4 years ago. My health continues
    to decline, and I am told that I must lose weight. My
    B.M.I. was calculated to be 170-180 pounds as my
    healthy weight! I have never been that small. I was
    very discouraged. I decided two weeks ago that I
    am going to Train Insane this Decemberwomen do the
    12 week make-over with my fellow POPsters. I am
    doing my own fight back plan. I have lost six
    pounds in two weeks by doing cardio,eating clean,
    and strength training. Can’t wait for December.
    I had to re-program how I think about exercising. I
    had to remember why I am exercising. I know now
    that I exercise to be strong, and live longer.
    People have been told what size is considered
    acceptable. Magazines are filled with women who
    are super thin. My daughter who is 15 has even told me
    she wants to be “skinny”.I told her it’s not about
    size. She said,”Mom you want to be skinny don’t
    you?”I said,”No, I exercise to live. I make want to be
    healthy”.I explained to my daughter that eating
    clean, and exercising will make her strong!!
    Gaining weight has been hard to accept for me as
    well. I get laughs when I go to the buffet, people
    laugh at me when I go to try on clothes, I have been
    put down about my weight when I say that I am
    certified to teach fitness ( I totally understand what
    you went though) people think I am obssessed with
    eating, etc… It goes on and on.
    I want to say I am so sorry for what you went
    through with your weight gain. Thank you sharing
    your story with us. I too have had people ask me
    that question,”did you gain ?”That by the way is not
    cool. How can you ask someone that?
    Unfortunately,most of those questions / remarks
    are from people I know.
    Stay encouraged! Keep doing what you do! We all
    love you!
    Thanx,Kohl
    Namaste
    By the way, I have my before picture ready!

    • Kohl says:

      So many typos! I am so embarrased. They need to make spell ckeck for cell phones. Well anyway, you guys understand what I am sayin’.

      Take care,Kohl

  • Kohl says:

    Cassey,
    I want to say that I admire you, and you are an incredibly strong woman!You are an inspiration to so many people. You should be very proud of yourself. I know it’s easier said than done with the way some people in the world think, and act. We are judged mainly by our looks. You have done an amazing job of motivating, and inspiring us POPsters. Let us return the favor to you Cassey.
    You are amazing at any size. Our goal is to be healthy. You inspire me with your workout videos. I have been struggling with my weight my whole life. I was 197 pounds at 5’10. That was great for me.I was very healthy. I am a dancer, I ran, I walked,etc…Unfortunately,I still developed a seizure disorder.This was 4 years ago. My health continues to decline, and I am told that I must lose weight. My B.M.I. was calculated to be 170-180 pounds as my healthy weight! I have never been that small. I was very discouraged. I decided two weeks ago that I am going to Train Insane this December, and do the 12 week make-over with my fellow POPsters. I am doing my own fight back plan. I have lost six pounds in two weeks by doing cardio,eating clean, and strength training. Can’t wait for December.
    I had to re-program how I think about exercising. I had to remember why I am exercising. I know now that I exercise to be strong, and live longer.
    People have been told what size is considered acceptable. Magazines are filled with women who super thin. My daughter who is 15 has even told me she wants to be “skinny”.I told her it’s not about size. She said,”Mom you want to be skinny don’t you?”I said,”No, I exercise to live. I make want to be healthy”.I explained to my daughter that eating clean, and exercising will make her strong!!
    Gaining weight has been hard to accept for me as well. I get laughs when I go to the buffet, people laugh at me when I go to try on clothes, I have been put down about my weight when I say that I am certified to teach fitness ( I totally understand what you went though) people think I am obssessed with eating, etc… It goes on and on.
    I want to say I am so sorry for what you went through with your weight gain. Thank you sharing your storywith us. I too have had people ask me that question,”did you gain ?”That by the way is not cool. How can you ask someone that? Unfortunately,most of those questions / remarks are from people I know.
    Stay encouraged! Keep doing what you do! We all love you!
    Thanx,Kohl
    Namaste

  • I cried a little.
    I can’t believe people would ever think that! I think the bikini comp body is unreal. You look more human when you have some fat covering your muscles, and that doesn’t make you fat. It makes you relatable, lovable, and TRUE. And people need to remember that Cassey is not only a fitness instructor, but she is a Popster just like us. She’s a human with cravings, and her own metabolism to deal with JUST LIKE US.

    Loooooove you Cassey. You can do anything you set your mind to!

  • Chrissy says:

    This is such an amazing and powerful post!! I’ve dealt with those kinds of comments before, and from personal experience, I can say they really hurt. A year ago I was 90 pounds, happy, toned, and skinny! I loved it when people commented on how thin I looked! Now, I’ve gained 10 pounds, I feel heavy and fat, even though 100 pounds is still small. I developed an eating disorder where I would hardly eat, and if I did eat, I’d make myself throw it up! I developed it after I got a few comments about looking like I have gained weight. My mom mentioned it, even a friend’s mom who I hardly saw said “I can tell you’ve gained weight!” It made me feel horrible and disgusting, like I wasn’t a good human being because I gained weight! Now I am trying to be healthier again, trying to eat well and exercise like I used to. I still want with all my heart to be super skinny like I was before, even though I know I was too thin. I miss looking in the mirror and seeing bones everywhere, even though I still do see most! I miss the confidence I had, not being as self conscious about my body! This article really has hit home and I just wanted to thank you for taking your time to help people struggling with body image like this.

  • Elle says:

    If it helps, I never really look at your body when I’m doing your videos – I’m too busy going at it and listening to you encourage me :) I never noticed anything and I’ve done ABC abs a few times, and I just went back and looked and you still look gorge – and how does anyone notice a thigh gap when your legs are together and rockin’ those lower abs anyway?

  • Chalien says:

    yes

  • Christina says:

    Cassey,
    Thank you for posting this. I can’t put into words how close to home this hits with me. I never comment but I had say thank you. You are beautiful. Your videos have helped me get to a better place in my life and leave regret, anxiety, and disordered eating behind me. You are a true inspiration, not because your skinny and fit, but because you’re REAL.
    I feel bad for anyone who left rude comments. They’re most likely in a terrible place in their lives. We learn as we grow.
    See you for my morning workout! :)
    Love,
    Chrissy

  • Nala says:

    Oh Thank you Cassey!! I know this comment is way late to when this was actually posted this. But thank you for this post, it made me feel so much better. Recently I traveled back home to my parents – I’m in college and studying in another country away from home – when I came back I crashed. From homesickeness, missing my family like crazy and catching up on school work. It’s been a tough couple of weeks and I find myself succumbing to emotional eating and therefore I gained quite a bit of weight. I’m a very active person who has been proud of being fit and eating healthily. But ever since this I’ve felt like a huge failure and I’ve feel I’ve let myself down somehow. To try and lose the weight I gained, I’ve done everything from half starving myself to eating light, but I realize that’s not healthy. I’ve also tried to do double workouts like crazy and when I’m eating right I still feel so so guilty about what I’m eating. Yes, just like you I fear what an apple would do to me. However, I realize right now that life is to short to constantly worry about the number on the scale. And I’ve decided to listen and work with my body to get back where I need to be. But nothing drastic. Thanks again for this post – it really spoke to me!

  • Maryam says:

    I happened to come across this after doing my ab workout for today… I know exactly how you feel..I think all types of Asian aunties are the same..be it south or north Asian pfsh!

    I just want to say i LOVE you and your personality and your beautiful body just the way it is…its gorgeous :)

    Keep smiling

    Your fan <3

  • Orit says:

    Hi Cassey!
    I have never posted anything back before, but thank you for posting this. This article really spoke to me.
    I have always been super strict to my body ever since I remember and recently got a knee injury and cant work out as much because everything I do hurts. I am 24 and have been in a sport and eating healthy since I was a baby. I am super self conscious about the weight I gained, and fear that people will judge me, even though I am still healthy. Its nice to hear someone as inspiring as you to tell us that it is ok and normal to gain sometimes and with a hard work we can get back to our original bodies. It is the worst feeling to see and feel my body reversing and it being painful to try and fix it. I have modified some of your workouts, but its still not enough to keep my body the way I expect it to be.
    Basically, thank you for reminding me that a little weight gain is not the end of the world.

    <3

  • Sarah says:

    Omg. I can’t imagine having all eyes on me all the time for having the “perfect body”. That kind of pressure would crush me. But seriously you are totally beautiful and no amount of weight gain will change that. Also i’d like to point out that IT IS OKAY TO NOT LOOK LIKE A BIKINI MODEL EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE OR EVEN EVER. You’re still in great shape. The amount of weight you have gained was like…super insignificant. You’re still lean and toned. You can let yourself live and eat. We are all humans who love things that taste good and self control is hard for everyone. You’re an inspiration to so many woman and I appreciate your vulnerability with all of us. Keep being real. You rock sister.

  • Gaynel says:

    Thanks for this! Needed it today

    • Amy says:

      I know how you feel. My weight’s been fluctuating quite a bit from stress, but bodies are bodies and sometimes they add on fat, particularly in the colder months, to give you some insulation so you don’t freeze in the winter. Anyway, I didn’t notice, and think you look amazing and am an inspiration for the healthy, muscular body that I’m working to get.

  • Jess says:

    cool post Cassey! I never notice anything like this! you’re always you in your videos, personality definitely takes over :)

  • Brittany says:

    Yes.
    This.

  • Kirsty says:

    Dear dear Cassey, I loved reading this! Ive just started your videos and they are so creative so thanks for that :D I have been dieting healthily by myself for months before I started your Beginners workout. After the first week I managed to screw up my diet something baaaad during the weekend. I guess my body wasnt use to making muscle lol. I felt so awful. It took some humility to admit that I had totally screwed up my progress and I really had to pick myself up and be positive and start again! I was terrified of failure and now that I have failed on this journey I now know that it is OK. Failure once doesnt define you!! I picked myself up the next Monday and the damage was not that bad as I thought :D It may seem like a small thing but it taught me failures are inevitable. How you handle failure can teach you some really great lessons if you can have a positive attitude. And I love your positive attitude! Keep going!

  • Cindi says:

    Cassey,
    As someone who recently gained 10 pounds in 1 month from feeling deprived, I can totally relate. However, I find it MUCH more inspirational to see an average, healthy, toned body to aspire to than a thigh gap, super skinny body that I know I will never have because I was born with a Puerto Rican booty and thighs. I don’t have to constantly remind myself that legs that thin are not typical because the evidence is right in front of me and is attainable through a similar diet and exercise routine. You don’t have to have stick thin legs to have SUPER SEXY legs & buns! For me, this is much more realistic. It’s nice to be reminded that we are not alone in this struggle. Being proud of your body is an inspiration to the rest of us who also become ashamed! THANK YOU!

  • Janaína says:

    Look, does it really matter? does your shape makes you a better person? whats wrong about just being yourself, why do we seek for approval?… Cassey I’ve been suffer bullying since I was 8 years old, I had anorexy because I cared too much about what people think, when I finally started to eat again I started to over trainning, then, when I was almost killing myself to be “accepted” I started thinking… Does it really matter? Being accept by those who treat me as if I were nothing just because I am a little different… Why should I care about them? When I am surround by people who loves me because of me my real me my inner beeeeeeing…What I mean is the only one opinion you should take is your heart’s and no one else, maybe until those we love most are wrong, because they can not see inside us… YOLO GIRL MAKE IT WORThwhile huuuuuuuuuuuuummmpf

  • Assia says:

    Hi Cassey!
    I am an 18 year old girl and I am quite new to blogilates. I found what you wrote truly inspirational and I am planning to start visiting this site quite often. I was wondering though why did you have to eat only chicken breast, broccoli and egg whites everyday during the bikini competition? Would you recommend that for since I have been trying to lose weight for years but always failed?
    Thank you for your help Cassey!

  • Sabrina says:

    Hey Cassey,

    I just came across this post of yours, have read through all the comments and I feel a need to leave one of my own. I’m 25 years old, 5’3”, weigh 65.9kg /145lbs and I can’t even remember what it feels like to not be self conscious about my body.
    As soon as I hit puberty by the age of 10 I started gaining weight and was never truly able to control it. I was never uncomfortable in my own skin until age 12, when a boy I really liked publicly insulted me because of my weight and a group of girls I thought I was friends with traumatized me and publicly humiliated me for a year for the same reason. From that age to this very period of my life, I have never been proud of my body and have never truly liked myself. Because of attitudes of people like the ones who were so disrespectful to you I learnt to hate/ be ashamed of myself and because of them, it’s all I’ve ever known.
    Several years ago I was diagnosed with depression, started getting help and from then on I turned a new leaf. I realized how bad I let it get and decided that I didn’t want my life to be like this. It has been an incredibly hard struggle, but I started slowly changing my bad habits and attitudes, and every day I work hard on being a better me. I went from weighing 83kg/180lbs and someone who couldn’t run for even 5 mins to the my weight now and an active lifestyle. I run, swim, bike, hike and do yoga and I feel happy and proud of myself for these changes I’ve made to my life. However, I’ve been stuck in a rut for 2 years unable to drop my weight under 140lbs. I get very sad at times and feel that I will never be able to reach my goal. This is because I’ve never truly had the will to control my eating habits. Food has been like an emotional drug for me my whole life and when I need a fix I’ve never had the mental strength to say no!
    When I came across your blog last week for the first time however, YOU completely inspired me! You made me realize that if I want to make my goals a reality I need to eat clean AND traing hard! And so, I evaluated what I really want for myself, made myself a mantra and I stick to the thought of that and this blogging network you have created to inspire me to control mind!
    You are the dream of what most women aspire to, you are positive and beautiful and successful. I just hope that the positive, supportive words coming from all of us fans can help you to remember that you have no reason to be ashamed, and that these people’s words are meaningless and misplaced. You are absolutely beautiful exactly as you are :) I wish many thanks to you and to all the POPsters for being my inspiration and support as I get through my tough times trying to finally conquer my mind and reach my goal of being proud of myself and my body!

  • Natashya says:

    this is just beautiful. I’m crying when I read it. I come from an Asian family and I’ve been told that I gain weight so many times. My sister did the starvation thing and she lost so much weight but she looked scary for me. that’s why I decided to take the healthy way to lose some weight. and Cassey you inspire me. This post mean so much to me. Thank you, you’re wonderful <3

  • Amber says:

    I’m so sorry :( I did wonder! But thank you so much for this post. I come from an Asian family and when I was 20kg heavier people came up to me asking “wow you gained so much weight”. When I joined a gym there was even an aunt who told me it was “useless” and that I had to go everyday. I did. And I lost a bunch of weight. Now I go to family gatherings with my head held high but I ignore the ones who doubted me and just accept the compliments with a pinch of salt.

  • Alexandra says:

    I also hope that you get by all these posts that what you went through is totally normal.

    I also would like to thank you for providing a service to all of us that is for the most part, totally free. you rule, and you are a hero to so many people who read your blog

  • Alexandra says:

    that’s really shallow of someone to say. and maybe its just a culture difference for me. but you don’t look fat in that video. you have never, in any of the videos i’ve seen of you, been anything close to fat. and you can do things that hurt for a really long time while talking.

    haters gonna hate

  • tara says:

    I dont think the weight you gained made you look fat, instead I think it made you look healthy. Women are designed to have a little bit of fat on themt and it does fluctuate. I think its horrible how people have to point it out though, you yourself know when you have gained a little extra you dont need someone stating it and making you feel worse

  • Emmy says:

    This made me almost cry. Yes i also wondered i you gained weight but your post really made me think about why we focus so much on weight, and yes also body fat. i dont want to be scared of scales anymore and judging anyone including myself by their size is just…its not ok. everyone deserves to feel good about their body and to eat when the body needs it.
    when i recovered from anorexia of course i mostly gained fat weight, not much muscle, which was necessary to get my period back and let my body heal itself. so now iwant to get fit and also lower my body fat.
    but maybe we would all be happier if we´d focus on different changes like eating noutricious food BUT with a healthy mindset and without deprivation or obsessing about numbers. or drinking enough water to keep ones body working correctly. or quitting unhealthy habits, mentally and physically. Laughing more and getting a good feeling out of every physical challenge.
    improving endurance, flexibility. Those should be goals to visualize not mainly the body fat percentage, the numbers.
    as you said you were deprived. and now you might are a lot healthier and this should be the goal. beeing mentally and physically healthy. of course physical change is a nice thing but if its the only goal we have, we start leaving out other aspects of a fulfilling and happy life.
    sorry for the essay i hope you are doing ok and that we all will be able to focus on health more than appereance and numbers.
    xx

  • Alexis says:

    Idk if you’ll reply to this, but reading this made me cry…in a good way! And I am not even sensitive or hormonal right now! I was 117 for years…naturally from just working out and such and also I used to be naturally thin. I gained 20 pounds and was okay for a while but started to become so insecure, even if my bf liked it. I have been trying to lose weight for a little over a month now, sweatember + part of this month…and as we all know life can get in the way but none the less I have only lost 4 pounds and I’ve been challenging myself everyday and eating great but it’s very frustrating when you’re used to losing weight quickly. When you, Cassey, gain/gained weight I was actually happy because it showed me, “Hey Cassey is human too, plus I like her curves!” and it made me even more motivated….plus considering you were still as strong as an ox while I was whimpering and dying during those videos showed me that weight doesn’t matter as much as strength does! Although it does suck to have your jeans not fit (cough, cough I’m guilty 5xs over lol). But Hey! That’s what they make jeggings for! Thank god for stretchy pants! Thank you so much for posting this Cassey :,)

  • Ava says:

    Cassey, I can’t believe someone would ever call you fat. You are gorgeous and so inspirational. Your mentality is what is healthy and should be respected. Congratulations on being so successful and motivational doing something you love. Keep going! xoxo

  • Camberly says:

    I just finished an oriental diet. Well “finished”; I’m done with the actual diet part, but now I’m onto a “Yo-Yo” program that is designed to help ease me back into eating normally. I’m at the thinnest I’ve been since high school, and yet I am still not at where I want to be; I’ve got pudge, a lot of it, that needs to go. Now I’m terrified of gaining back some of the weight I’ve lost, especially since I’m not at my goal. It’s this mentality, that even though I gain I can always lose again, that I need to keep in mind. Thanks for the reminder! I needed it!

  • Katharina Mittler says:

    I am so glad that you wrote this blog. I have struggled with my weight for years being too thin to having gained a lot of weight. Women have to deal with a lot of backlash for the way we look. Knowing that there are women like you out there that stand up and say, “so what?” is so refreshing! You are so beautiful and inspirational and it is wonderful to hear you are so strong! I will definitely continue to follow you! Stay strong and keep moving forward :)

  • […] I have gained weights, and at first it seems like an incredible failure. I felt fat, ugly, lazy and most of all, I felt judged. However, this morning I am feeling a little bit better. Cassies post has been incredibly helpful (https://www.blogilates.com/best-of/ashamed-of-gaining-weight). […]

  • Eden Scharer says:

    Honestly I noticed you had gained weight and I thought you looked better now than before! You aren’t chubby by any means, you look stronger and more healthy now than ever! Be you and find balance and be happy :) you’re my role model more now than ever

  • RonCirone says:

    Dear Cassey,

    Thank you for posting this blog. It makes me feel okay to have the feelings I do regarding my own weight.

    I’m about 5’4”. At my smallest I weighed 110 pounds. At this weight, I was told that I could be an actress or a model. Now that I’m not longer at that weight (about 140 pounds), I’m not told any of this (besides my boyfriend). It really hits me hard how being unhealthily thin (as was the case for me) is prized over being healthy and fit.

    Now, I’m trying to take the steps to still shed a few pounds, but do it better. I want to learn how to eat right again. I want to learn how to work with my body during fitness routines so I can be comfortable in my own skin.

    I don’t know what it’s like to be comfortable in my own skin. I would love to know what that is like. So, that’s my goal. Be comfortable in my own skin. My boyfriend (God bless him) thinks I’m the most gorgeous thing in the universe. I want to be able to see myself as he sees me. Beautiful.

    Thanks, Cassey. :-)

  • Cassey, I’m 5’4 and at my smallest, I weighed in at about 120-125. I now weigh about 150, and people tell me all the time that I’m still not small enough! This is relevant because about a year ago I weighed in at a whopping 260!

    At this point, I don’t feel like I need to lose weight as long as I’m healthy and in the shape I want to be in. Your videos inspire me, not to lose weight, but to be healthy and make healthy choices. You could be chubby like me and your inspirational motivation and optimism would still mean the same and your sparkling personality shine through! You keep on going, Cassey. There are people(like myself) who are inspired by you to work out, even if it’s hard sometimes. And isn’t that what really counts?

    YOU INSPIRE ME!
    And for that, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    Love you Cassey!
    Crystal

  • GiGi says:

    Thanks Cassey for this post(and everything else) it’s ballsy .Like you are.
    And to be honest ,even though there’s no need because it really doesn’t matter, I very much prefer your body now than during your competition’s diet.It’s very cute and balanced and always toned ,I think that people sometimes should just shut up!

  • […] Ashamed of Gaining Weight […]

  • Michala says:

    (if it’s tl;dr, here’s the summary: You are my hero! You help and inspire millions around the world. Thank you so much!!)

    At my thinnest, I was 135/140 my freshman year of high school. During my junior year , I enrolled in an extremely intensive academic program that I could not handle. Throughout the year I was eating to deal with my stress and shirking off my workouts to make room for homework. At the end of the year my academics were the worst it has ever been, I was anxious, depressed, and somewhere around 200 lbs. Physically, mentally, and emotionally devastated, all of my hard work trying to stay healthy was gone. It’s been a little over a year and although I got back to exercising regularly and lost a little weight, I still couldn’t retrain myself the healthy habits I once had.

    I memorized every tip and trick for dieting and eating healthy, but that still didn’t help me. No matter how painful it was to look in my closet every day and not be able to wear my “skinny” cute clothes, nothing seemed to change me. It was horrible. Until I remembered this blog.

    I looked on your site and quickly printed out the 90-day plan and the Beginner’s work out. I’m not only committed, but happy that I am changing because you gave me this direction. It’s already day 3 and I’ve lost some weight! I love all your videos, how you put so much effort into planning and making everything happen. As an 18 year old poor, busy college student who lives in a small apartment on the 2nd floor, this is absolutely perfect for me. I love being trained by you(r videos) because you’re always so happy and motivating! Why people pay attention to your thigh gap I do not know. They’re too busy scrutinizing flaws in someone else than bettering themselves. It’s hard being in the public eye, but you are a beautiful and strong woman. Keep up the wonderful work and I look forward to seeing more of your vids! Thank you!! ^_^ <3

  • Annusya says:

    I think you look better with a little more weight. You’re already slim in the ABS Abs video, but with softer, rounded edges that are very girly and nice ^=^ Personally, I don’t think you need such a strict diet at all! People who think you look fat in that video are psychotic! We’re *GIRLS* and we *should* be soft and filled out, not chiseled and hard! Heee ^=^

  • Sara says:

    You addressed this topic with class. Thank you! There is this notion that all fat is bad, but in reality, especially for women, a certain amount of fat is necessary to live a happy and healthy life on a regular basis. If we focus on being as healthy as we can be instead of being all muscle or stick skinny, our bodies will feel great and the happier we will be. Some people are naturally that way, but that just goes to show that our genetics will determine how much fat is healthy for us or not. It is all about being balanced:-)It must be especially difficult when your body is on display as part of your career, but it seems you have the positive mentality for it!

  • Kristina says:

    You’re such a beautiful person. F*** those “langues de putes”, as we say in French. ;-)
    Thanks for making these workouts so much fun.

  • Monica says:

    Hey Cassey!
    Yes, I’m from a asian family! Borned and grew up in Sweden and understand exactly what you mean! But that just made me angry. I don’t think I ever found some good answer, but in my mind i was always thinking ” Oh, yeah, i could get fatter if I want. Why do u care about my wieght when I didn’t” And yeah I was and still am kind of rebellious. I could also hear my parents and other realtives watching Miss Hongkong and calling some of the competers fat! I mean, seriously?

    Girls are more judged from how they are looking (Yeah, more than guys), and thats is so wrong! Why wouldn’t people ask u how u feel instead or if u have become stronger or feeling more alive or fresh? Yeah i’m kind a upset, i’m thinking on all those girls that blame themselfs for being lazy or being a failure.

    And yeah, I’m sounding like I never blame myself and only on others. But thats not true. I’ve been feeling very bad about how i look, my weight for not being “perfect”. But now i finally know that it’s always up to me to decide what to do with MY body. It’s my body and noone else.

  • This definitely makes you more real compared to certain fitness blogs, you understand our struggles with this ‘perfectly clean’ lifestyle. That makes you more admirable and ultimately I think will make you as a business succeed further than others who project a perfectly fit lifestyle and persona.

    For that I am a fan aswell as an admirer.

  • Heather Herring says:

    Thank you, thank you. I have gained about 5 pounds over the last few months from stress. Like you, I also was in the middle of a move. I am planning a wedding. I am a mom of two young boys and I am doing the very best I can….. yet, I have been shaming myself and thinking this would lead me back to a lower weight. Your blog helped me so much. I am so glad you are human like me and you are gorgeous. Thank you for this. What a gift.

  • Mallory says:

    Amen Cassey! I love you stick thin and just the way you are now! You are my motivation! The best part is you are REAL!!!! PLUS, you love food like me :))))

  • Ann Reed says:

    I just discovered you about four days ago. I happen to be going through the App Store and found your Blogilates app. So I read all the reviews for your app and downloaded it because of all your wonderful supporters and when I opened it up ( the app) I automatically subscribed to the calendar not even knowing what I was going to be doing. But this is my fourth day I love the calender and let me tell you I am sore but I love it at the same time. I am 30 years old have tried every workout and diet possible known to man and was tired of all the fads tell you the truth. I gained 25 pounds about two years ago do to depression and have been deciding to get back on track for the past month but nothing happened couldn’t find the motivation than all of a sudden I found you and am so happy because someone how you make me feel like your friend instead of someone who wants to shove fitness down your throat. But anyways you are like my best friend watching my back and making it fun at the same time and my three kids love your music workout challenges. I just want to say I am so grateful and excited that I found you and look forward to doing this for a very long time. Don’t stop helping people because I think you was made for this. Thank you so much inspiration again.

  • Jessica says:

    I think i had my revelation right here. I’m going through this, just the same, i feel fatter, i don’t like myself the way i liked my image before.

    The thing is that i wasn’t that body perfect you where, i was more like an anorexic girl, very inmature and with a lot of insecure aspects. When i was a child, i was fat, fatter than the rest but part is because of my bone structure i’m robust. Not super robust, but well i used to saw al the girls prettier, healthier, really amazing and all that, but they were bad people, they used to laugh about the way i looked, or the thing i couldn’t do.

    So by the age of 17 i decided to become a better version of me, i reached the point that i was so obsessed that i was afraid of fruit too. I was afraid even of the water. I was in a really bad time.

    But the way i looked in the mirror was perfect for me, flat abs, cool delicate arms. Thigh butt. I was sick, and my body cracked, a year ago, i left the Gym, i’m about to coming back, but i became anemic. I wasn’t able to do the best, like i was used to do the exercises. I was feeling really bad.

    I discovered your videos before i left the gym, i couldn’t catch up the day, i was that bad that i couldn’t breath.

    Sometimes i want to cry because, i’m not that skinny, i feel like i broke a promise with myself. But other times i really enjoy every meal, every piece of food. I enjoy everything, i’m vegetarian and i’m trying to do it right, it’s hard, i’m mexican and ITS REALLY HARD TO BE FIT IN THIS COUNTRY.

    You inspire me, you make me smile when i’m doing your vids. Today is my birthday and i’m really sorry because i couldnt do my routine on beginners calendar. Thank you for being honest, for being so respectful to all of us, for being so cared.

    Thank you for Blogilates, you showed the people how amazing is exercise. I love when it sore, i love your hard intensity work outs.

    Please, keep up with that spirit that makes us really powerful, wish me luck cassey, i’m coming back to the healthy way of life.

  • Lorato says:

    Cassey!
    i absolutely know how you feel my girl. I was born and raised and live in an african country called Botswana. What what! There’s no place like Africa lemme tell ya but the ladies here can be very insensitive without realising. My nickname as child, right up until just recently was “mma mokima” as a nickname. In my language (setswana) directly translated means Mrs Fat. And i have a thin and beautiful twin sister. I Know just my luck right

    When i started my weightloss journey no one believed in me and it was hard. Very hard.
    Its the worst feeling when i go visit family and they still call me fat. I always end up in the bathroom crying by myself telling people I have a “stomach bug” LIES!!! I still have huge self esteem issues and it seems as though the closer i get to my goals the more people are telling me to stop and then next person is telling me im huge….

    take a breath though, I’ve decided that it doesnt matter anymore what they think. I started this journey at first to impress a boy and now its for me. Now HE know what he missed out on but now I know what I had missed out on. Health and fitness has changed my life in so many and I LOVE IT

    i love you Cassey and I love what you represent

    P.S African ladies are not the skinniest of people, especially the older ones (no disrespet or anything, i love them) but coome onnn right? Don’ take it to heart

    Love
    Lorato ( my name’s direct translation actually means love) <3 Xx

  • flora says:

    youre seriously awesome! :)
    hey im just a trainer from argentina and this is so inspiring for me, im just exactly at this point… i just gained some weight on the last weeks, and it feels really bad, but i’ll try my best to start again “weight fluctuates, this is life” :) i think i cant say it better than you did thanks a lot for the inspiration :D

  • Beth says:

    Thanks. I really needed this.

  • spreadthelove says:

    You’re beautiful. Most of all, you have a beautiful heart. You are such an inspiration! Thank You for all your hard work and kindness. <3

  • Just Me :) says:

    Cassey!!! I LOVE You!!!!! In all honesty, I don’t think it really matters if you’re skinny or fat, just healthy (physically, mentally, & spiritually) :) Afterall, there’ll be a day where we will all leave this world, each of us with our own time & date. For me the main goal is to live a life that makes God smile & go to Heaven after I do God’s will. I don’t know who would dare to call you fat. I mean in a fitness show-down you would definitely win, hands down. You’re AWESOME, no doubt. Don’t let people’s words put you down, some people just don’t know how to speak. And the thing about the Asian family, yep I have my Asian family as well, but I couldn’t care less about they’re blunt questions. I’m sure they don’t mean it the way we think they mean it. All that really matters is what God has to say to us. Cassey I hope you feel happy :) You’re my fitness role model, I look up to you.
    ~ You’re fan & student :)

  • Katy says:

    Awww Cassey,
    I had tears in my eyes! Sounds somehow stupid but I could really feel your emotions trough what you wrote! I actually didn’t see that you’ve gained weight. You look still AMAZING! I really love you and I support you :)
    thank you for everything! I feel like you are my friend haha :D

  • Nicole says:

    Hey Cassey,
    I know this is a super old post but I just wanted to say that it really resonates with me. I developed a bit of an eating disorder when my ex boyfriend told me I was chubby and I suffered with it for a couple of years, even after we broke up. Luckily, I’m on the road to recovery now and am eating normally but have had some friends comment that I’ve gained weight again, which makes me feel awful. I totally agree that people shouldn’t judge you on your looks, especially when they have no clue what you’re dealing with emotionally. There are times when I’m uncomfortable with my weight, but I feel so much better mentally, so I guess that’s the most important.
    Anyway, I know this is a really old post and you’ve lost a lot of weight since then with the Junebet and all. I hope you feel better emotionally and physically now :)
    cheers!

  • Anna says:

    Wow Cassey <3 really this is probably one of the most important and meaningful thing that i have come across in my fitness journey. Really truly all I can say is thank you, this means so much <3 you are so wonderful!

  • Marie says:

    You look HEALTHIER now… in my opinion, I think your body image now sets a better example for those who are trying to look/be healthy. Beauty isn’t about weight or body size; it’s unfortunate what media has done to us as a society…

  • Rachel says:

    I have had anorexia for about 5 months but I gave it up for my health but I feared gaining it back. I had been 5’8″ and 125, but after anorexia I was 114 lbs. I liked being thin. eventually I gained it back. now I am trying to lose inches instead of pounds.

  • Gabrielle says:

    i learnt that weight and size is not the way to judge whether i am “pretty enough”.
    as long as i keep fit and eat right, *not on a strict clean diet but balanced enough*,
    i am pretty happy with the way i am now. :) am able to eat without guilt and just embrace how i look.
    was 55kg and dropped to 47kg. i’m 164cm tall so.. that was super skinny considering the muscle weight. now i’m up to 51kg and not getting any lighter. but im proud of it. :) i feel more womanly than before because now i have curves. ;) we only have 1 life to live. when we grow old, chocolate cake can’t be in our diet anymore. ;) SO EMBRACE yourself. enjoy life.

    thank you for sharing your story Cassey. i really appreciate it. makes me feel that i’m not the only one that’s going through this. xoxo. loves!!

  • vava says:

    To me you look way more beautiful and real in the ABC ABS video than in this picture. And this is related to what I think you taught me with your experience. What matters is the body-mind balance, listening to your body an be healthy. And with more gentle curves you represent a model I’d be truly willing to follow. I do not want to be skinny, I want to be strong and healthy and learn when to indulge and when to train hard. I’ll trust you and your expertise even more thanks to this!

    V

  • Jennifer says:

    I loved reading this post! I’ve been there too. I was always an athletic tomboy growing up, playing sports with my older brothers and their friends, but then adult life set in and I was not able to be as athletic and sporty as I once was. Running around campuses all day and studying (I’ve been in school for 7 out the past 10 years) have really taken a toll. I’m not unhealthy by any means, but I’m also not nearly close to being as fit as I once was. People have noticed and made comments – about how my pants seem too tight or my butt looks bigger. I usually just ignore them. I know myself and I know that like Cassey mentioned, gaining some weight doesn’t change who you are. I enjoy life, and if I want to have two pieces of chocolate instead of one, I will (and then buy bigger pants). :)

  • Becca says:

    Cassey this post is briLLIANT I am so glad I dug through the best of’s to find this because it has really opened my eyes. For so long I’ve been ashamed of the weight I gained in the past school year and I felt like I had spiraled so much that I couldn’t even get it under control if I tried. I felt like if I started working out regularly then my mom would look at me like ‘Oh so nooow she’s trying, you’re gonna have to do more than that muahaha’ like SERIOUS EVIL :-( So beginning I felt like I had to hide it, only working out when she wasn’t home or at a friend’s and I don’t know how to approach her about this because I feel she’ll just call me sensitive. But like, she’s my mom and I have to live with her, so I can’t really get away from it. ANYWAY back to the point, I relate to this post so whole heartedly it is insane I feel like for a moment we were the same person. MAGIC. I’ve had many many negative comments about how I ‘let myself go’ and it is SO discouraging but everyday when I fire up the ol laptop (i don’t know why i’m talking like this…) and see your bubbly cheery face, I know that there’s always hope and I am the only one that gets to decide whether I’m comfortable in my body or not and if i’m not then i CAN change! I love you so much and I can never thank you enough for everything you do and for always keeping me motivated. ✿

  • Cymbaline says:

    Cassey, this is exactly why I love your blog, your work outs, and you! I love that you don’t hide the fact that you are a human being, and have your own trials and moments of self doubt, but you don’t let it hold you back. It’s inspiring and is exactly why I visit this website daily. You don’t make me feel like I’m not good enough or strong enough to be on here. I say this because, based on my own experiences, a lot of fitness types treat it like it’s some kind of exclusive club, and if you don’t have rippling muscles or are a beginner, you’re basically not welcome. I love and appreciate the positive message you send out – you keep the human aspect intact; It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being healthy, and listening to your own body. People are drawn to your honesty and realistic views and are inspired to conquer their own fitness goals. That makes you more of a leader in the fitness world than any farcical image of perfection ever could.

  • Lamù says:

    My dear Cassey,
    thank you for keeping this blog “alive”and by “alive”I mean made by living – human beings with their weaknesses and strengths, bad feelings and hype moments.
    The real shame is that u felt like justifying -somehow- for your “assumed”weight gained..I am Italian, this means that I am strong, tone like a stone and a little curvy – and I like it. And guys like it ;). It took time to get to acceptance. For enjoying our lovely delicious food (and the British one, as I live in the UK now – motherland of the best junk food you can hope to find when u feel down) – and do my best on training the following day not to “compensate” any guilt, but because I love feeling my arms burning!!!And I started following you for your contagious energy and because you didn’t look like those barbie doll fitness trainers who populate the net and make my hips feel like ham. It’s so great to see that we share some goals but we still stay human!the only parameter is how comfortably we feel in our skins, and in some periods I felt more comfy eating more chocolate rather than showing my flat abs.In some others, it’s not an effort to eat clean, because everything is ruled by the will of feeling good…no matter how many lbs this means. Hugs hugs!

  • ddrianaa says:

    this was the perfect post to read right now for multiple reasons! thank you cassey!! I adore you.

  • katie says:

    People said you gained weight in that video? Yet here i am thinking you still had a smoking bod lol!

  • Why visitors still make use of to read news papers when
    in this technological globe all is available on net?

  • Teresa says:

    Cassey, I just want to say I’m so happy I have found you. You have no idea how inspiring you are to me. You are so optimistic about everything and it truly rubs off on me. You are really helping me come over my insecurities all though I haven’t showed much improvement ( even my sister says she sees a difference in my appearance) I use to stay up all night feeling ashamed and embarrassed of the fact that I am over weight. In fact I still stay up all night, but I must admit that after doing your work outs I do feel some what accomplished. You truly give me something to work for and look forward to. Thank you so much Cassey, you have been a huge impact in my life at this moment.

  • Joy says:

    Thank you so much for posting this, you have inspired me to keep going and reminds me that there are good days and bad days. In 2009 I went from 150lbs to 118 lbs doing low carb diet. I managed to keep the weight off for a year but work stressed me out so much that I started eating and eating and gained the weight back. I feel so bad when people say “You look fat”. A relative even asked me if i’m taking vitamins, I asked why, and he said “Because you are so big”. I wanted to lash out at them and say mean things but I just bit my tongue.

    I stumbled into one of your videos and your positive attitude has kept me going. I have started the Beginner’s calendar and finished Day 6…. and I never noticed that you got bigger in ABC ABS, because to me you are fit and healthy and i think that’s what really matters. I wish you all the best and thank you once more for all your vids and recipes.

  • namma says:

    Cassey you are an incredibly beautiful person and a huge inspiration to me. While I was married my husband was super critical of my weight and I was constantly depriving myself to stay skinny enough for him. Every time I gained a few pounds he would pinch my belly/thighs and tell me I was getting chubby, and I would restrict my diet even more to lose the weight. After I left him I finally was able to eat all of the foods I had been depriving myself of before, and boy did I take advantage of it. I gained ten pounds in a month, bringing my weight up to 115 (I’m 5’4″). Even though I wasn’t by any means fat, I started panicking, convinced that I had become grotesquely overweight. I started doing your workouts to lose weight, but kept at it because of your positive attitude. Since then I’ve stopped focusing on losing weight and am instead trying to be healthy. I’m still 115 pounds, but more toned and I love how I look now. Thank you for doing what you do, you’ve had an enormously positive impact on my life! :)

  • Anon says:

    I’ve been called fat ever since I entered grade 7. It’s been since them that I’ve been struggling with losing weight. I always give up because I think I can’t do it, and always have to start up again. I know I’m not overweight, but I can lose the extra fat and go back to a size 0…I just need the motivation and determination I once had :)

  • Cassey! You are beautiful, strong & loving. I love how you paint a complete picture of health! I never followed any instructors online until I connected with your bubbly, work hard, have fun attitude. Thanks for keeping us “popsters” goin :)

    With Gratitude,
    Rachael

  • Liz says:

    Cassey…

    You are truly a beautiful woman inside and out. I admire you not just because of your fitness, but your consistent energy, passion, and inspiration! Thanks for reminding us that it’s okay to slip up because we are human and it is normal <3

  • delia says:

    I think what makes you more inspiring than many other instructors (at least for me) is because you DON’T pretend to be the “perfect”. You are very relatable and inspirational. Thank you for this post!

  • Hannah says:

    Wow! That’s truly inspiring! I’m 5′ 5″ and I fluctuate anywhere from 123-127! I know that doesn’t seem like too much, but I was NEVER that much! Ever! Until today. I feel like I’m getting fat! My mom isn’t letting me swim competitively, so that’s why I’ve been weighing so much! It’s really disappointing. My mom says its not fat, but it is.

  • DeJonae says:

    Cassey,

    A friend of mine recommended your site. Like many, I too have been faced with the challenge of maintaining/losing weight. Society has created an image of a ”perfect” body in our minds, & we need to stray from that. We are all unique & are definitely not built the same. I’m currently training for my state pageant, and I’m putting so much pressure on myself to eat super clean and train dirty. My pageant sister who recommended your site recently competed in Miss USA, & your site along with a few others really prepared her for Miss USA. Your site is aiding me in my fitness quest, & I want to thank you for your positive & inspirational posts. Thank you for reminding me that it’s OK to be human lol, because for a minute, I lost sight of what’s most important in life, & that’s LIVING. Take care & keep up the great work.

    Your sister in Christ,

    DeJonae

  • Marina says:

    My mom called me fat.. I am 5’5 and 121-124 pounds depending on the day or how much chocolate I ate the day before. But seriously. when you judge someone, all you’re doing is defining who you are. Love you Cassey never change!

  • Sarah says:

    Cassey, this heartfelt post just makes you all the more accessible and inspirational. I have been called fat, by family and strangers alike, and it really hurts, particularly when you’re working your butt off to try and change your perception of yourself, let alone the perceptions of others. Over time, I started to deflect any compliments that came my way and chose to cling to and analyse the insults instead. My boxing workouts, which I used to enjoy, had now become a desperate battle against my mentally exaggerated waistline. Inevitably, I broke down from the pointless stress and low self-confidence. But I’m beginning to realise that I don’t need to apologise for my body – it’s the most valuable tool/weapon/treasure I possess, and while I welcome all appraisals and compliments, no one has the right to judge me based upon my body, what it looks like and how I use it, just as I endeavour not to judge anyone else.
    I’ve just started your Beginner’s Workout Calendar and I LOVE it – doing the ABC Abs video yesterday I saw a vibrant, enthuasiastic and motivational trainer who came across as a bubbly friend rather than a coach – those calling you fat need their eyes checked. You are beautiful, an inspiration to all women, and more so now for your honesty and humility. I can’t wait to work my way to the end of the calendar so I can return to school and stun some of my insulters and critics; and I know I can do it with you at every step! :D xx

  • perry says:

    Your no competition body is as close to perfection as I have ever seen (I went to your FB page).
    Next time someone mentions that you have gained weight, just reply,”and I see you have gotten a bit uglier”.

  • Angela L. says:

    Cassey, I’ve read this post at least a few times already.

    I’ve been trying to lose weight, trying to lose the excess fat and go for the “bikini body” look.
    Did my first Dietbet with all the POPsters, and accomplished my weight goal. Lost 15 pounds in total within the end of May – June. Unfortunately during that time, I was not eating nutritious enough and strictly forbid myself to eat any meat, sugar, and rarely ate any fats. All I really ate was mostly veggies and fruits. What happened afterwards was that after my weigh in was verified, I ate like there was no tomorrow… and felt just like you said… I felt that I was released from ajail… Within 2 weeks since the DietBet, I gained 10 pounds back…. I felt so ashamed of myself, but I knew that it was coming. Small terrible eating habits started creeping onto me… wanting me to eat more and more….

    Eventually I realized, that I no longer prioritized my health and my body. eating right, exercising, and losing weight doesn’t exist inside my mind as a priority anymore. When I realized that, I knew that I had to stand back up and change step by step.

    I’ve been recovering my body, and it’s been getting better. Thank you so much. Re-reading this post at this moment is very encouraging. I know that you and your videos did help encourage me to exercise and the strength to not give up. :)

    • Megan says:

      Angela, I’ve gone through the same thing! I get on these crazy diets and lose a lot of weight, but then the craving start back and I yo-yo my weight right back up. I have been following Cassey’s advice about never going below 1200 calories, and I stopped cutting out food groups. I have found this is easier to maintain, and I’m losing weight without the side-effects of fatigue and dizziness. Always put being healthy and happy before the number on the scale. Good luck!

      Megan

  • Natalie says:

    First thing I want to say is: Word. You really know how to reach out to all of us regarding this question. But honestly, I had to check which YEAR you posted this, ´cause I had a hard time imagine you even thinner than you are now. And for all you guys out there – Being thin and being healthy is not the same thing, remember that.

  • Megan says:

    Cassey! I’m glad you can be so positive at every moment in your life. I was actually really shocked when I read this blog that any of us Popsters could say that to you! I admire your hard work and determination to get Bikini Competition fit, but as some of the comments have mentioned you were so skinny! I think you look much healthier and happier in ABC abs/your current videos. I think it’s important that we strive to be healthy rather than a number on a scale that’s probably to low to begin with. <3

  • elle bettencourt says:

    thank you so much for this <3

  • Chzarlotte says:

    Cassey, I know exactly what you mean! I come from an Asian family too. I used to be really chubby, fat even. And one day, when I was back home, my aunt told me that my butt looked big. I took it as an insult because I was not fit at all back then. It made me feel awful about myself for a while. Then when I came back here, it hit me one day. I needed to start working out. I needed to start being more active so that I couldn’t be judged about my weight anymore. It was really tough trying to get fit. So I thought I should start off easy. I joined an intramural soccer team. I felt awesome working out and practicing with my team. I was very sore afterwards but felt awesome inside and out. But when I started working out, my family started to tease me about working out like it shouldn’t be something I should be doing. I started working out everyday and suddenly all the teasing were just things that motivated me even more! When I came back home again, I was so fit that my family kept complimenting me on how great my legs looked! I felt much more better about myself. Their mean comments about my old weight is old news! Now I can definitely say that I’m happy about my weight. Most of my weight is muscle and water though. Working out has changed my life forever. And so have you. I thank you for that. I do your workouts everyday along with jogging first thing in the morning, and let me tell you that I have never felt happier about myself! :)

  • Sofia says:

    I love this post,it made me feel really good! I love your blog,posts, and personality! You have made me so inspired!!and you look amazing :)

    -Sofia

    Ps. Yes I have, and I told her its called being curvy :)

  • Nicole says:

    I LOVE this post!!! Helps me more than you know!!! Thanks! :)

  • Lyla says:

    Cassey,
    considering this entry was written several months ago, I do not believe this response will ever reach you, but I felt a comment was necessary. I look back at that photo of you in the bikini and think your body looked amazing, but in a way it was too skinny. Your body is absolutely flawless now. You speak out to so many girls (including me) all over the world, and you have and will continue to influence people with your story. Not only your perseverance and strive to be the best, but your incredible personality is what makes you such a likable human being and keeps people coming back for more. I cannot stress the insecurities I have felt in my life (many of which I can relate to yours as you have explained them in this post), but you have given me hope. I can only imagine the influence you have had on others… actually I can’t because you seem to work magic when it comes to making girls and women feel confident. Thank you, Cassey, for EVERYTHING you do. You will forever and always remain one of the most inspiring people in my life.

  • So I was wanting to do pilates and found your blog yesterday as a matter of fact and I’ve already started your beginner calendar! But I just wanted to say that I love this post. It’s so good to hear that we all go through it. I know that I am right now. But I’m positive your calendars and pilates will help!!!!

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  • Hi Cassey,
    I know that this post has over a thousand comments and that you posted it a couple of months ago, but I read it recently and really wanted to respond.
    Weight is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. I think this is true for almost every girl in Western culture which is why your entry struck such a chord. Growing up, I had the Asian baby fat until late junior high. Since then, I was diagnosed with a hypothyroid condition which adds an extra challenge to keeping my body fit and healthy.
    For years and years, I thought that the tall, blond, skinny-legged, big-boobed model was the archetype for perfection. Since I wasn’t that, and would never be that, I sub-consciously thought that I was doomed to being ugly for the rest of my life. I felt awful and had horrible self-esteem.
    I’m almost 24-years-old now and it’s taken me THIS long to come to a point where I’m beginning to accept my body for the best it can be. I’m so proud of you for writing this post, because it really shows a level of maturity to stand up for what you believe is physically beautiful in this culture. And that’s what it is, Cassey- it’s maturity. You are a role model to tens of thousands of young girls across America. To send them this message is the most powerful and beautiful thing you could have done.
    You are so strong, so fit, and so influential. If your body isn’t a size double zero when you’re exercising like you do, that obviously means that you’re not meant to look like a stick bug. You look so hot! Just because you’re not steroid-ripped doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful. That thinking is so warped!
    Thank you for being an inspiration to me and an entire culture of women who follow you. By continuing to promote beautiful, healthy bodies of all shapes and sizes, you are both improving the confidences of women all around the world AND helping out society to change the impossible standard of beauty. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Keep at it, girl.

    ♥ Natalie of LIVE TEACH ALASKA

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  • Sonya says:

    This is amazing! Good for you for not feeling guilty. I lost over 60 pounds last year but go discouraged and burned out and gained 30 of it back. I needed to go to the chiropractor so badly when I started working out again but I KNEW he would comment on my weight loss so I waited until I had started losing again. When I finally did go sure enough he commented and asked me how much I had lost. Thanks to weights and toning I looked smaller than I did but weighed a little more. Thankfully now I am back to almost that 60 pound mark and still trucking along to get into a healthy weight range for my height.

    I have started your beginner Blogilates program. I can’t wait to see how it transforms my body!

  • Sabrina says:

    Wow Cassey!
    You are so brave and inspirational. If I had put something out into the world and had people call me names I would be really upset and down for a while because I really take things to the heart but you are so great at brushing it off and focusing on the things that matter. In my eyes you will always have a bikini body even if you gain 200 pounds or more. You are beautiful inside and out and I hope you never forget that. :D <3

  • Catt says:

    Hey Cassey! I used to get bogged down by this bad – I was a top athlete at my school and never had a belly just because I had to train for my sport! But once I went to college and stopped my sport I gained a lotta weight, especially in sophomore year when I started drinking a lot. When I went back to Taiwan, EVERYONE was commenting on not only my weight but my skin as well. It wasn’t just relatives/Asian aunties, it was my neighbors, coworkers at the bar, the breakfast shop lady, and even my dentist. I probably gained something like 7kg but I was no where “fat,” even in Asian standards (plus most people making the comments were “fatter” than me anyways), just a lot more than I used to be. The thing is it’s a part of their culture to make “friendly personal comments.” They are trying to be empathetic, and I know it doesn’t make sense to people who grew up in the states where you can’t say things like that. None of my Taiwanese friends thought it was weird that people made those comments to me, they would say, “but Catt, you DID get fat, what’s wrong with pointing that out?” It’s almost like mentioning that you have different hair. Since I rock it in the middle of these two cultures (and now a third, in Italy!), I see now that it’s a few things. First of all, it’s just a comment, and it’s nothing like what people in the US think it is (it really is just like “oh you got some new highlights!”). Second of all, in the the US, people make up a bunch of rules about what it is okay to say and what it isn’t okay to say, what’s right and wrong, and you gotta respect individuality etc…they’re actually very arbitrary rules that constantly change. It is just that in this era, we have issues with fitness (eg, we sit at the office until we work ourselves dead and have no energy when we come home and continue the same the next day, and we have MickeyD) so it’s become a super-sensitive issue. But really, when it comes to this, YOU make up the rules. YOU decide what is right and wrong, and there are no absolutes. It may seem contrary to appearances because EVERYONE is doing the same thing around you, but trust me coming from so many different cultures, the rules are absolutely made up, and you get what you go around thinking (I know you know this one Cassey!). In other words, these words aren’t damaging to one’s self esteem unless you say they are. Being ashamed of gaining weight isn’t because it’s ashaming to gain weight, it’s because you say it is.
    To say “don’t let this bother you” would be a cliche and just hiding up/denialing ashamed emotions. What I would say is, ask yourself who you really are in relation to what is going on? What is real and what isn’t? Don’t fight the emotions if you feel ashamed and embarrassed, sit with them and ask them why you feel this way without judging yourself for judging yourself. You will find, with keen awareness and only observation (no judgment), that you only bought into these things because you were taught it and you took it as word. But you already knew this Cassey – change the inside so that you can change the outside; this is inner change, not what you wrote about (which is just another viewpoint instead of no viewpoint at all).

    By the way I loved your ABC abs!
    xxx,
    Catt

  • Kiana says:

    I’m right there with you babe. I just completed my fourth bikini competition in a year and decided that my body needs a little break from the dieting. Not to mention my metabolism is probably shot. Ive begun to incorporate foods that I wasnt allowed back into my diet, yes even fruit! I even let myself enjoy food at family gatherings and celebrations. Crazy right? No, I don’t still look like what I did when I stepped on stage at 118 pounds (i’m 5’6″) and it’s hard as heck to come to terms with that. I’m even embarassed to go to the gym. Thanks for the post it’ll help me get through this knowing that I’m not alone.

  • Romana says:

    I have a Surinamese mom, and I grew up with that culture. Surinamese people do the exact same thing! They only focus on if you gain weight. I had a aunt who actually pinched me in my belly and said that I gained weight. That’s humiliating and I felt so bad. Even when I think about it again. Why don’t people focus on the good things?

    Oh and Cassey, to me, you looked stunning in your video! You didn’t looked fat or anything! The only thing I saw, were curves. That’s feminine and most people, women and men, love that! At least I do! :-)

    Lots of love from me!

  • Katrina says:

    thanks for posting this, cassey! i too am asian and i recently competed in my first figure contest last weekend and have put on 15 lbs since. i was aware of the rebound and thought i was prepared for it, but it wasn’t until it really happened within just a couple days that it smacked me in the face! but after 20 weeks of prepping i know i deserve to enjoy myself a little. it def is hard and unrealistic to try to stay lean year-round. all i can do now is hop back on a training program and focus on making some gains until my next show :).

  • kuulei says:

    ALL THE TIME!! It’s either my dad (japanese) or my brother…at least once per day they make a sarcastic remark regarding my weight…I usually laugh it off (but inside…I’m hurt). Although I know it’s a joke, I’m still human and I still have feelings. It really does hurt when someone calls you fat and ugly. My brother is skinny as a twig. People compare me and him a lot…like “whoa, how come you’re brother’s so skinny and you’re so…um curvy?” I find it so annoying when people do that! Just the other day, I found out that my doctor is going to monitor me for diabetes for a year (since it runs in the family)…I told my family (thinking that they’ll encourage me)..and my dad said, “HA! so you’re finally gonna workout?? Well ..lets see how long this lasts…” That’s when I found myself on youtube and stumbled upon Cassey. I’m going to try the beginners workout. I just really hope that I don’t get discouraged by family in the process… :/

  • Elizabeth says:

    I hardly ever fully read long blog posts, but honestly, Cassey, this one was just so real, I read it in its entirety. You’re definitely right: If you’re healthy and fit and feeling great, why does it matter if you’ve gained some weight? You’re still as awesome as ever, and thanks for sharing this. It is truly inspiring :)

  • Sara says:

    Omg!!reading dis made me feel so gud!!u inspire me on all levels cassey!!i knw hw upsetting dis is!!i ws alwayz on the chubby side while growing up!nd den 1 day out of the blue i decided to lose weight and succeeded in doing so too!but my approach was wrong and i ended up gaining some of it back!!and now i feel so embarrased facing ppl!!bcz nw anyone who sees me after a long time never forgets to point out that i am fat again!!bt i m not letting myself get dejected!! i get off my butt everyday and sweat it out hard!!thnx 4 everything cassey!! i think u luk gr8 even wen u r skinny and wen u r nt-so-skinny!!lots of luv <3

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  • Nata says:

    There’s nothing wrong with gaining weight. Honestly, I think you look so great right now! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You look healthy and you look like a trainer. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this new you. I hope you love it too because you look freaking great :)
    I used to weigh 182llbs with the help of your video’s (and careful eating) I am 122 llbs and proud. Thanks for being a great inspiration! You look great and hopefully you feel great! Because in the end, that’s all that matters.
    Haters gonna hate, just be you :)
    -Nata

  • Ashley says:

    Great post Cassey! It’s great to know that you struggle with this too, very relate-able! I guess my Greek family is similar as well… One year at Easter I had bought one of those Maxi dresses, I was feeling good, ready for some lamb aaaand then an aunt of mine asked if I was pregnant, aaand another pointed out that I had put on weight. It almost made me start dieting right then and there and skip the lamb, but instead I went right for the feta cheese to drown my sorrows. I have never met my goal weight, I just bounce up and down, and it’s exhausting mentally. But each day I start fresh, making it better than the last. You look amazing and are such an inspiration. Thanks for keeping it real :)

  • Jeniffer says:

    I found about you this past week and I am currently on day 3 of your beginner’s calendar.

    Why am I saying this? Because since February I have been working out like crazy, doing various types of exercise, and while I feel great and have dropped 20 pounds, I wasn’t happy with what I was doing. I am 5’5 and was 178(21yrs), I never had, and hopefully never will, issues with my body. I am a chubby girl and I love it, I could stay like this my whole life and be happy. I decided to work out when I started feeling fatigue from doing nothing, and I decided to lose weight a month after working out when my sister said to me “don’t you wonder what you would look like if you dropped some weight?”. To most it might seem like a silly reason, but that is why I am doing it. I eat healthy enough, so food wasn’t/isn’t a problem. The only thing I had to cut out was ice cream.
    I decided to start doing your videos because of the way you looked when I found your tumblr, skinny, but with a nice curvy body. This is what I was aiming for. I wasn’t happy with the workout videos I was doing, they repeated constantly “if you want to look like this you have to work out like that”. I don’t want to look extremely skinny, I want to look like a woman. This is the whole reason I dropped every other video just to do yours, because you to me have the shape and body type of my representation of what a woman should look like.

    Good luck in the future, and don’t let people get you down.

  • cristela says:

    To be honest I don’t think you’re fat at all, and it’s kinda crazy that you think you or anyone else does. I see how you look in your recent videos and you still look in shape and healthy.

  • Dear, you might find the forums helpful.

    Xoxo
    SG

  • Jeanie says:

    Everyone has different tastes and a different “ideal” body. Your current feminine form is what inspires me. Either way, you look great. Besides, you’re the most popular fitness instructor on youtube. You’re gonna run into people with body dysmorphia who thinks 100lbs is too fat commenting on your weight. No one can be perfectly beautiful in the eyes of EVERY SINGLE human on Earth. I think finding that happy balance for you is the most “perfect” you can get. It’s totally silly to have one exact body shape to be attracted to anyway. We’re built to like a variety of things. People like a variety of music, a variety of foods, etc. Why can’t we appreciate different body types the same way?

  • Su says:

    you’re so right Cassey! Why do we all feel so guilty about gaining 2kg?!
    you’re incredibly slender, tone, fit, and beautiful! thank you for speaking your mind!

  • Monica O says:

    This is so inspiring! I was about 100 pounds a year and a half ago, but was very thin naturally. I am 5’5 and gained around 20 pounds since just cuz I moved to a new state. My entire routine changed and I was eating more often. It happens, but now I am more determined than ever to not just lose weight, but gain muscle and be stronger physically. You’ve helped me a lot. I feel stronger and I have become more motivated to workout!!! You’re still beautiful inside and out!!! Thank you:D GOD BLESS!!!

  • Beth says:

    Beautiful post! It’s interesting to hear your perspective as a fitness instructor. You have double the pressure. Thank you for what you do though. You’re so lovely and funny and provide such encouragement. Thank you for sticking with it under all of the pressure. We love you whether you’re up or down. :) – Beth from Boston

  • Tanja Coco says:

    After reading this post I’ve realized that I am ashamed of gainiing weight too, I dont want the others to notice but you gave me the hope and the motivation to go on and dont hear to what others think of me, Thanks for that!
    Love your blog ♥

    xx

    Greeting from Cologne (Germany)

  • co says:

    ilove you so much, PLEASE dont crazy on diets or “im so fat” kind of shits,im scared you could develope an eating disorder just for some stupid comments. You ARE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING , and i love you even more for that, i feel you are just like us and not some anorexic “healthy” trainer, or a barbie doll, you are just like us!, im studying so hard amd super stressed and im gainin weight too! and you know what? i cant still do your videos, and i love running. whatever, please dont ever change and dont feel bad about your self. you are THE GREATNESS. ♥♥♥♥♥

  • Nina Yang says:

    Cassey, my friend and I are so inspired by you! We always watch what we eat because of YOU. Your videos are the only videos that I do to build muscles and I love it! There are times when I hate you because you make us hold that difficult position LOL but then at the same time, I tell myself that you just want to help us get that dream body! And you have helped me! No one has ever called me fat, but someone has called me ugly. To be honest, I’m still haunted by that. The truth hurts I guess, but in this case, it’s the opinion hurts haha. But ever since I was called that, I specifically told myself, “If I can’t have a pretty face then I can certainly have a pretty body.” So thanks a lot Cassey! You’re my inspiration for exercising!

  • Danielle says:

    Cassey,
    This post was exactly what I needed to hear! I’m on a weight loss journey myself since having three kids really transformed my body. So far, I’ve lost 45.5 lbs! It’s been a long road with plenty of pit stops along the way but like you said, just start over again, NOW! In the past, I would have carb binged my way back up and last night was one of my harder nights, but I’m here now and I feel mentally and physically strong to overcome it! Every day’s a new start and everyone’s story is different. No one is perfect and expecting perfection will ultimately lead to failure. We each have our own unique ideal weight and once we embrace that, things surrounding us will fall into place! Much love to you and your transparency! Keep on rockin, girl! <3

  • honesty says:

    you’re still chubz tho xo

    • Caysey says:

      Wow! You must be quite skinny yourself! Cassey was so real with us and you still try to bring her down. It’s not funny. No “xo”

  • M says:

    After reading this I realise I get this all the time.
    People tell me (and by people I mean family) they constantly ask me if Ive gained weight, making many references to the fact that I’d be so much prettier if I was skinnier and then compare me and my younger (thinner) sister. It really is a buzz kill, an emotional killer and it made me want to hide away from the world and hate my family. Your post has made me feel much better about myself, that I shouldnt be ashamed of what weight I am. But what I will do is make myself feel better, and I will lose the weight. Be realistically healthier – because i suck at being healthy. i thank you for the tips and food information. I plan to cut the fat and eat healthy. I want to be a person that I can be proud of and gain back the confidence that has been ripped from me.

    Anyway you look good no matter what people say. :)

    Thank you for putting things into perspective.

  • Thank you so much for sharing. Your very inspiring and I think a lot of people have that problem…I’m really glad that you are brave enough to write about it! Keep it up. Your blog is so positive, inspirig and really motivating for me!

  • Kristin says:

    Cassey, you are such an inspiration. This post was exactly what I needed to hear, and it in fact made me tear a bit. At 19 years old I’ve suffered from so many body issue, I was an obese child that turned into an anorexic teenager, and since recovery I gained weight, a ton of it. I used to feel so ashamed, and then I found your videos. I’m doing June On Fire and eating the cleanest I ever have in my life. I still eat bad a lot more than I should, but I’m making progress and it’s all thanks to you. I’ve never felt so good my entire life and I just want to thank you.

  • Cindy says:

    I’m so glad you decided to write this blog, and shed some light on this topic. I too coming from a Cuban family, have walked into a family gathering and the first thing said to me has been “Have you gained weight?” … So RUDE! I’ve always danced and been relatively thin so after my first baby, when I gained over 60 lbs. most people were pretty shocked including myself. I was able to lose all the weight just in time for my wedding, I was so proud of myself. I then had a second baby gained about 40 lbs. and this time the baby weight was a bit more stubborn. I gave it my all and lost a substancial amount of weight, wherein I was happy with how I looked. I became a certified group fitnes and Zumba instructor, and due to a very hectic schedule; with time started to gain some weight (AGAIN). So you can see how your blog totally resonated with me, it hit home! I too felt discredited as an instructor. I’ve been able to get back on track and staring to lose that weight again, and now thanks to you I don’t feel so bad. Thank you!

  • Ivy says:

    Just began following you on YT, instagram and here on your blog today. When my friend introduced me to your channel I immediately liked how positive and inspiring, fun and upbeat you were. And I wanted to become a popster!! But after reading this I feel like I know you a lil bit more personally and you’re truly an inspiration. I have gained a lil weight and I have some family members giving me their input right now it makes me feel awful, but Im on track to be a healthier me! For me, not for anyone else. Thank you for the help from your videos and you blogs. mwah :)

    Ivy

  • Vero says:

    Dear Cassey,
    You don’t even know how much I look up to you. It’s like I really know you and you live in Cali while I’m in the MIA.. Crazy!!
    Anyways, I’m a 17 year old girl and I’m 5’0″ (yes I’m tiny); and until I found blogilates I had the lowest self-image. By the fifth grade I weighed 135lbs, and now I weigh 114 lbs. My freshman year I decided that I had to drop my weight. I’ve been working out and eating healthy ever since. Still, I have issues with my self-image because I can’t see myself as skinny enough or beautiful enough because of my weight in my past.
    Because of you Cassey I finally feel better about myself. It’s easier for me to eat healthy and inspire others to do so as well. You inspire me to look into the mirror every morning and tell myself that I am more than I perceive myself to be. I can do and achieve whatever I put my mind to. I am beautiful no matter what anyone else says or feels.
    If you can make myself believe that, then you can too. It’s ok to cheat. Honestly, it makes me feel even closer to you. It’s comforting to know that my trainer is HUMAN and has her own kryptonite. I love love love you Cassey! You’re beautiful and perfect!!

  • Erica says:

    Dear Cassie, first of all i hadnt even noticed that u gained weight,at least not enough for anyone to even care about?!! In fact, i find that its ANNOYING when a girl always and always stays at the same amount of slim BECAUSE its shows youre too uptight and frankly its boring too, its like never changing up your outfit. \Like, gain 10 pounds and lose 10 pounds every few months,live a little! that way you will always feel fresh and not stale…and then you will get hit on by that many more guys – and i have a feeling that thousands and thousands of girls secretly feel the same way,like that theres zero wrong with gaining a few lbs now and then.
    But seriously Cassie, im glad that u gained some weight because it makes me feel a lot better. Not to sound maliscious! its just comforting to know you fitness instructers are not superhuman…and thanx for sharing cus yes i do resonate with what youre telling us…and please,above all, dont feel bad or ashamed about any of itYou deserved to properly nourish your body again and God knows its not us girls’ fault that our mind plays tricks on us so that were scared our food will literally run away from under our noses.! anyway i hope this helps:)
    p.s I totally feel ashamed right this second for scarfing down icecream earliar:/ugh

  • just a little scared says:

    hey cassey!

    i follow your youtube, but rarely keep in track with anything and only occasionally do your videos. in all honesty, ive been so afraid to do exercise or eat healthy; because i feel like i can’t. i feel like everyone else can, and i cant.

    i hopped on the scaled today and i have gained 7 kg and 11% body fat since march. so i have literally let myself go. i used to be really fit last year, eating really well last year. and something in me just snapped. i wasn’t able to be so strict. and since then, ive been on yo yo ing, feeling guilty about eating and everything. i keep looking for things to fix my mentality etc.
    and reading this makes me feel a little better, to know ur going through it too. im only hoping that i dont change my mind about starting over today. because i always seem to fall back and fail.

    actually that was pretty negative. im going to try and change that too. and become better again. =]

  • jocelyn w says:

    I think you’re one of the most inspirational people ever! It was because of you I started taking working out seriously. I was inspired to have fitness goals and inspired to be more conscious of my health. I definitely learned to appreciate the “burn” and was able to push myself mentally and physically and it was all thanks to you! I wish I could thank you in person! I love your personality and to me, I don’t think gaining weight makes you lose any credibility. Instead it makes me look up to you more because you’re showing how gaining weight does not make you lose confidence and how gaining weight is not bad. Since I’ve started watching you on YouTube, my eating habits are better and I workout more because you make it fun! You’re amazing and inspiring! Never forget that!

  • Priscilla says:

    Thanks Cassie,
    You are amazing and you should never forget that! You probably knew that already, but seriously, your words do so much to me and you are totally right. When I gain weight, I feel like I’m another person, the failure part of me, or something.. It’s really weird but it’s true. I feel like I’m not myself, I feel ugly and fat and disgusting. Even when my friends say that they don’t notice it when I gain weight, I still feel like I’m not myself and that’s when I feel more stressed and start eating more and more… It’s a negative circle.
    But sometimes, life happens, so this will happen too. But you are right, you should just get back on track and don’t forget that you still are you. And.. I don’t know. I just think you are amazing and thank you so much for being you. You’re super awesome and bubbly so all your videos always make me happy!
    THANKS GIRLLL

  • Jasmine says:

    Thank you so much Cassey. I recently am recovering from depression. I used to be really skinny last summer. Then I noticed some girls becoming competitive with me & trying to do better than me. It was crazy, I couldn’t accept the fact of someone trying to be better than me. I did’t feel good about myself anymore, I felt my life as a competition, & i wasn’t comfortble with myself anymore. I felt like I was a loser & I already lost. & That was it, I couldn’t handle the feeling of being threatened. So I gained all of my weight back. I at least gained 15lbs over the past 8 months, it was all because I didn’t think I was worthy of anything or anyone. I cant tell you how ashamed i was of myself I stopped hanging out with all my family & friends & never left the house. I couldn’t deal with all of the mean comments & people judging me, I cut myself too just to escape from all of the pain. I wished I was never born.

    I was in depression for about 8 months, & even though I was dying inside & so hurt, I noticed everyone being nice to me, & not juding me. I mean what could they be jealous of me now? nothing! people only hate on me when I’m doing something with my life. So basically I have to be doing absolutly NOTHING for people to be nice to me.

    Then I was at the point where I couldn’t take it anymore, I then cried and prayed to god to please help me, to give me joy in my life, to guide me through life. I asked god to pick me up, & give me strength, & to get me out of this misery. It wasn’t that long after that I felt better about myself, & worthy, & i found hope. & I felt myself doing more, I started going out side of the house again, even though It was really rough at first, but I still did it! I’m just now starting to workout again, & even sometimes I still make mistakes! But this whole life journey was not all about losing weight, It was about making me a better person, & know that happiness is the most important thing overall. Yes, I still care about my body image & still, want to be fit, toned , and healthy. I’ll just be a whole lot happier doing it this time, enjoying my life, & accepting my mistakes & learning from my mistakes, and facing my problems.

    and now that I’m starting to get my life together, I notice once again people trying to pull me down, do better than me, & criticize me again. Even though it hurts still, & does effect my self esteem, I won’t give up this time, I’ll always be the best me I can be. I won’t let anyone break me this time. I’m the only one who can judge me! I just worry about myself now, & worry about my own problems, & all I want to do now is succeed in life & be happy. as long I’m happy with myself, that’s all that matters. I’ve also learned to let go of a lot of jealousy… but that’s all, I’m not perfect.

    • Priscilla says:

      Woow.. it’s like, I could’ve write this. This seriously happened to me too and.. I exactly, EXACTLY, know how you felt and feel. I’m here with you girl! Stay happy and stay focused on your happiness and you. (:

  • Lauren says:

    Cassie,

    You should be proud. Not for anything having to do with weight loss or weight gain, but because of how you handle yourself and your blog. I will tell you why you are a fitness leader and role model- because you invite us into the human side of you. If you hid behind the curtain like most fitness industry instructors/leaders you would be exposing us to all the garbage that brought us to have the unhealthy self image problems in the first place. Only seeing the successes and the lean, tight, toned muscle makes women think “what is wrong with me? why can’t I do this? why don’t I look like that and stay like that all the time?” We are held to a near impossible standard because the curtain closes when anything isn’t perfect. We need to see the other side too so we know to love ourselves no matter what and to get back on the horse when things go off track for a bit.

    So thank you for being a true leader- one who is honest and does not reveal only one side. By doing this, you are braver and more heroic than the rest. This is what our society needs right now to eliminate self loathing and promote self love.

    Sincerely someone who has been there too,

    Lauren

  • Romina says:

    Oh my!! Let’s be honest guys!!! EVERYONE GAINS WEIGHT at one point in their lives… seriously, you could be a “VS model” but as soon as your done, you’re going to gain weight… specially woman.
    Stress, pregnancy, anxiety, or just because you were hungry as a horse! and you know what? there is absolutely nothing wrong with it… we all are humans who lose and gain weight frequently, its LIFE… but this society make’s us feel ashamed of gaining weight! (specially woman) and honestly its kind of funny, cause if you think in how many people in this world suffer from hunger and malnutrition, we should be thankful for that “extra fat” in our bodies. So seriously let’s be THANKFUL for that “extra fat” ’cause it may save our lives someday… And you know what? Its healthy and human!!! and also fun, cause once you realize you gain it, you want to lose it and you work hard for it!
    So Cassey i completely understand you and i think the majority of girls do too. Don’t be ashamed, be proud and thankful, because now, you and all of us have some killer exercises to do :) Fun, isn’t it? :)

  • Jimena says:

    This is a surprise…I mean, I´ve been following you for the paste 3 months but started really working on that calendar last week. Last week I found a video you made like 2 years ago and after that I saw the last video you did and was shocked to see how much your body changed, how good you looked and it made me feel good about starting this journey. Everyday I tell myself I´m the only one who can actually change what I don´t like about myself but I´m only human and it´s going to take work and dedication and discipline…so, whatever! let them say whatever, being here following you and don´t be aware af how your weight doesn´t define the person you are is not being here at all. I have started to understand that even getting on the floor, doing crazy thing with my legs and abs and etc, makes me feel different and beautiful…Thanks for that!

  • Msmags says:

    Hi Cassey!
    I lost thirty five pounds and felt and looked great. When I gained ten pounds back ( oh my gosh soooo much… Not!) I felt like I failed, like everyone was judging me. But you know what, the only one judging me was ME! My friends didn’t even care and I think anyone who does care isn’t a friend and doesn’t know YOU. So telling me through you, it’s ok :) your amazingly fit and happy and have great company. That’s all that matters. Once I excepted my new weight, thanks to my wonderful boyfriend, I actually started to lose weight again. You are beautiful Cassey, a wonderful inspiration that inspires ME everyday. THANK YOU. You go girl!!! Whoooo!!

  • Siffat says:

    I’m not one to comment on blogs but this post really caught my attention. I can completely relate because I gained my freshman 15 like every other college student, and got comments from my Grandma when I went back home. It was disappointing, and so I knew I had to make a change. The thing is Cassey, you have inspired me to change my lifestyle, and it isn’t because I aspire to have your thigh gap, because I don’t think that should be a goal. The reason you inspire me is because you encourage me to be the best me. That doesn’t necessarily mean being at a certain weight, but rather, focusing on your health. The fact that you go as hard as you do, while still carrying a conversation (!!!!!), is incredible! You have said in numerous videos not to focus on your weight because it fluctuates, that’s life, and that is totally fine! I think as long as you are mindful of your lifestyle and feel healthy and happy, nothing else should matter.

    I’m really disappointed in the people who criticized you for gaining weight, because everyone does! I can’t believe people are so insensitive as to comment on a few extra pounds when it is so commonplace for it to happen. Anyway, keep doing what you do because you are an inspiration to so many girls! You have a beautiful mind, body, and soul!

  • sophie says:

    I have been called fat all through my early childhood until i was 12 when i changed my life style, i only ate clean and started exercising, i lost 3 stone and managed my weight until i was 15, then my boyfriend split up with me and my grandpa died in the same week and i started to think it was because of my looks, so i stopped eating and lost 2.5 stone and was anorexic. That was a HUGE mental battle, bigger than people think, you dont understand until you go through it, i know i never did before. I’m back at a healthy weight and healthy eating and exercising again now, however, to put on the weight after anorexia i had to eat TONS of chocolate, chips, biscuits etc as nothing else would put the weight on, i kept on losing even when i wasn’t trying. It has left me with a layer of fat over my abs that i am working on, but im not ashamed as i know what strength that shows on me.

  • […] Ashamed of Gaining Weight – Everyone please read this post. […]

  • Marina says:

    Thank you so much for this! You are such an inspiration. I discovered your blog/vlogs a few weeks ago and you are really helping me find a work out routine in life that I can keep up. You are changing my life style and I love it!

    I’ve never been a ‘big’ girl but I have been gaining weight gradually throughout the years. Especially in my first year of college and I’ve been going up and down ever since. At my 21st birthday (in my first year of college) my dad actually hugged me in front of my family and announced to everyone I was getting fat.. I was mortified! He’s a sweetheart but yes, saying this to a girl really hurts! He doesn’t get that though. Also the looks I got at school from other girls at the end of the year, was not a nice feeling..

    About two months ago I really made a concious decision to change the way I eat and live. I am eating healther , I’m watching my portion sizes and I found you on YouTube. You make me really happy. It’s like I have a personal trainer now!

    I just want to say that I love you. I love what you do for people all over the world. I love how you do this so selflessly. You are beautiful in every way. NEVER let anybody make you feel otherwise.

    Much love <3 Marina from The Netherlands xxx

  • Micki says:

    Hey Cassey,

    You mentioned near the end you are a little disappointed that you let yourself go? I’m extremely disappointed in the popster community for not being as supportive to you as you are to us. I hope it wasn’t true popsters criticising you for this sake.

    “So I have an extra layer of fat overmy abs” – please don’t think that. I get it that when you gain weight it is more noticeable to yourself that things may be a bit different than they were. But if you don’t want your popsters to be obsessed with ridding their bodies of every ounce of fat, then you shouldn’t be either. Fat is an essential nutrient and we do need some. You always look incredible, Cassey and much, MUCH, more importantly, you are healthy on the inside!!

    I actually hope you don’t do a second bikini contest, I’m sorry to say :( is there another way you can more healthily challenge yourself? What about another half marathon?!

    I’m sorry people said those things to you. I’m sure they were projecting their own self criticism on to you, but you shouldn’t have to take that. You are so brave to put yourself up here each week and using your body as your work is not easy. (sorry that sounds kinda bad :P) But you do it and you rock it! Each and every time!!

    For the record, you could be a big person and I would still follow you because it’s your energy and drive that I love…not your inner thigh gaps, abs, or any other physical part. Lots of love Cassey.

    • Tracy says:

      DITTO, DITTO, DITTO! I agree with you, Micki, 100%!
      Cassey,
      Just because you gain a few pounds doesn’t mean you aren’t STILL an awesome fitness instructor and role model. I don’t think you have to go back to “eating super duper clean” unless it’s what you really want. What about moderation? What about just plain clean eating? I think it’s amazing how dedicated you are, but part of why I follow you is that I thought you were trying to teach folks to have fun while getting fit and healthy. What you’re talking about “super duper clean” eating doesn’t sound like fun – it sounds like you’re punishing yourself for gaining a few pounds. Maybe I’m wrong.
      Anyway, I’m still a big fan! I would love it if you could do more beginner workouts. I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and a broken disc in my back, so my body just isn’t able to do many of your workouts. If you can’t (or don’t want to) do more beginner workouts, maybe you could offer some ways to modify some of the workouts.
      Thanks, Cassey!

  • Alicia says:

    Awwww, you are so sweet! I don’t usually read entire articles but I am SO glad I did (: You have an awesome character, and I don’t disagree with a single word you said.
    You are the driving force that makes me motivated (not to be skinny) but HEALTHY. I’ve decided that it doesn’t matter what my body fat is. If I’m healthy, that’s all that matters. Keep on being awesome, I support you! <333

  • Thank you so much for this post :)

  • Kelly says:

    I appreciate this post. I too have been in this situation and it’s so hurtful. This post is inspiring, however. You’re right, it’s not that big of a deal. When you’re pants get tight, it just means it’s just time to step it up a little. Doesn’t change who you are.

  • Laur says:

    Cassey,

    I am not normally one to write comments on anything for any real reason but this post almost made me cry. My senior year of high school I had a very serious eating disorder. I would eat super strict all day long and after dinner I would purge and if I ate ANYTHING even a little unhealthy I would purge and feel so guilty about it and wonder if it would show on my body so I would go on the elliptical for 2 hours. I think it’s hard for people to understand that when you go from a place like that to try to be normal again, it doesn’t just happen. The first time I ate pasta and didn’t purge was the most uncomfortable and disgusting feeling I had ever felt. It’s been almost 2 years since I have been able to talk about my eating disorder and I still am trying to have a better relationship with food. But posts like this and advice from other fitness people help a little bit more every day and I just want you to know (if you read this) how much good you’re actually doing and how many girls you are probably helping.

    Can’t thank you enough.

    • Jin Ai says:

      Word to this. I never comment on blogs but I REALLY appreciate this post (I’ve had it bookmarked for two weeks not knowing how I could demonstrate my appreciation) – for fitness instructors and other health/nutrition authorities, it’s all the more crucial to set a good example for followers not to spiral down into self-hatred and this is a great post for that.
      Thank you so much!

  • Maddie Ford says:

    Don’t worry Cassey, I’m a swimmer that practices in the water and out for dry land practices for about four hours a day Monday through Friday and two more hours on Saturdays. I eat clean, I do your workouts and you still have a nicer body than me(:

    Also, When I was probably at my thinnest since I was 13, I was asked if I had put on weight in front of my friends and boyfriend and I knew I was still at my thinnest, but you know, I was still embarrased and ashamed even though I didn’t. I went from 115 to 106 when she asked!!! So don’t worry, People tent to try and look deeply in to people who tend to look really fit with their physique, looking for changes, either because their jealous, or they admire that much.

  • Candace says:

    I am very grateful that you wrote this article. This in its self was very inspiring. I did feel ashamed to, this helps me see past that point and better confidence then what I felt before. I just wanted to say THANK YOU!! <3

  • Shantha Trottier says:

    Cassey,
    You are not even the slightest bit fat! I WISH I had the body you have right now! I will never understand why people feel the need to bring others down, but in all honesty, they totally missed the mark on this one because you still look AMAZING.
    Shantha <3

  • Lena says:

    Hey Cassey!I know exactly what you mean about weight gain comments.I remember a few years ago,my grandmother told me I could use to lose a few pounds.No doubt,I sometimes heard joking comments from family by the amount of food I ate calling me the food vacuum or even once a little blimp which hurt my feelings.Some years later I was working out 3 hours or more and restricting to 500 calories a day.I weighed less than my little brother.I would even stay up extra late to shed off those last few pounds.My body was dying and I had no muscle left.Now I’m at a healthy weight,building muscle and getting fit :) Instead of worrying about losing,I just want to be happy.You have really helped me along the way,Cassey.I look up to you.You are beautiful,radiant,healthy,and inspirational.I think that was insensitive and rude of your aunt to say that.Words hurt.We all feel ashamed of weight gain,but it’s normal.We all love you Cassey!You look amazing and even better now!!!

  • Rosey says:

    When i found your website i was glad to see that you’re not just like another skinny instructor. I feel fat and bad looking at skinny people. And when i recommend you to others, i always say “and she looks like an woman too”.
    Love from The Netherlands

  • Mechelle says:

    The silly thing is YOU NEVER LOOKED, OR WERE actually fat. Having meat on your bones doesn’t make you fat…in fact being too skinny and underweight is just as unhealthy as an obese/overweight person. You look healthy and always have, the number on the scale doesn’t define you. And nothing but skin and bones is NOT healthy. We all need fat, who wants to be only skin and bones? Honestly, too large of a gap in-between thighs doesn’t sound or look very healthy at all. Most people’s thighs at least touch or meet in the middle, that’s no indicator of being fat…you are a beautiful and wonderful person who inspires so many people from all over the world. Please don’t let rude and inconsiderate people validate who you are and what you know about yourself. Who are they to flap their mouths open and make such ignorant comments? Keep up your awesome work CASSEYS.

  • Colleen says:

    Wow ! As if this article was meant soulfully for me !
    So I too am a fitness Instructor :) I use some of your moves in my classes I admire you !
    Anyhow , as I’ve became more & more into teaching more classes ive seen. My weight slowly creeping up . So here I am 16 lbs later & I found myself this past Friday balling my eyes out crying because I had a damn muffin top in my size 7 shorts that fit me so well last year if not kinda loose !!!!! I called my husnpband in tears & thought this isn’t fair I work so hard I teach all these classes I calorie restrict & I keep gaining ??? While that’s just my issue I’m restricting too many calories & now I’ve reacked havoc on my metabolism . My biggest fear is that my members at the gym will judge me saying oh why r gaining wait ? I feel so much pressure to be the example but holy crap IM HUMAN JUST LIKE U Stated :)
    I’m no longer ashamed ! I have so much energy & endurance it’s RIDICULOUS ! I get compliments all the time @ how awesome I am at Instructing & I look so good ! & they love my body ! Well if they love my body why shouldn’t I ? Because of the image I’m trying to keep ? Well I’m done sabotaging my efforts in progress ! I got a trainer ……yes I did ! I will be taring an extra 3 days a week on top of 8 classs I teach . It’s totally cool I’m a BEAST IN THE GYM & a BEAUTY IN THE STREETS ! & at the end of the day I’m proud of how far i’ve come & I will some day COMPETE IN MY FIRST BIKINI COMPETITION ! This is my dream goal & I dream & conquer ! So be proud of all your accomplishments you inspire SO SO MANY PEOPLE !

  • Krysta says:

    Cassey,
    This is a wonderful post. You are an inspiration to many women out there, including myself. Women should not be afraid from gaining a little weight. Stress is a huge factor when it comes to weight and we should not be ashamed of it. What is important is to be healthy for yourself, not for others. We are our harshest critics so when someone else makes a negative comment the self-criticism multiples ten-fold. I am so glad that you are a positive influence and try not to let others bring you down. Thank you for that!

  • Kari says:

    Sigh. Thank you for posting this, Cassey. I feel irritated and am ashamed for the people who are fat shaming you. It shouldn’t matter if you gained weight. Yes, you’re a fitness instructor and should practice what you preach, but not having a “thigh gap”? That’s ridiculous. Even with the weight gain, you probably still look better than the rest of us. It’s like the same thing that happened to Britney Spears and a few other celebs after they had BABIES. Or even if they just gained weight. Even though they looked better than most of the general population, people railed on them because they weren’t stick thin anymore. I think this culture’s obsession with being thin is sick.

    Personally, I like women with a little bit of fat on them. That’s what we’re made for because fat helps babies. And even if we never plan on having babies, it’s just part of our natural state of being. I am not advocating unhealthiness or weight gain, but not having a thigh gap is just an unrealistic expectation in my book.

  • […] posting her daily workouts without pause. Instead she chose to address those readers in her post, Ashamed of Gaining Weight, by speaking openly about how they made her feel. She didn’t point fingers or lash out, but […]

  • Daisy says:

    This is why I soooo much adore you Cassey! Thank you for your honesty and I think everyone can relate to a situation like this. My puberty didn’t came until I was 17 (hormone issues) and I gained a lot of weight, wich I would have got in a couple of years, I did in a half year. People were calling me fat behind my back or just saying it right to my face. I was still in the range of normal weight, but that’s when I got issues with my weight. I started eating less and was hungry all the time, but hey I lost a couple of pounds.
    But when I lost those pounds, nobody was saying: “Hey, you lost weight” or something positive about it. People actually didn’t care, people love to give negative comments or think about someone in a negative way in the hope of feeling better themselves.
    Since a year I have been going to the gym and start eating healthy. Step by step and I really love the journey. I have never felt so energized, I’m feeling strong, happy and I may not be the thinnest person, but I really don’t want to be a thin girl. I don’t compare myself anymore to anyone else, I’m just trying the best I can to get the best out of me. I have never felt this confident in my life.
    Beauty is a inside thing that will shine through the skin.

    You’re a role model Cassey, people who give you nasty comments may be thinner, but I don’t think they are healthier than you!

  • raphaelle says:

    Even if you gain a fews pounds your still gorgeous !

  • lexi says:

    this is why i LOVE you! you are so honest and say the things that we each (well, me at least) think to ourselves! i’m half filipino and can totally attest to the RUDE family members that comment on weight gain, let alone absolute strangers or friends. it is hurtful and i can honestly admit that as motivating as it should be to push yourself after people say mean things, that wasn’t the case for me. i was so disappointed and lacked confidence in myself that i just gained MORE weight. i was the ultimate athlete, playing basketball, tennis and running track – i was working out twice a day and didn’t let stress or anything stop that. i was so happy with my body before, i could wear anything, i LOVED bikini shopping and i had so much confidence because i was fit! somewhere along the way life took over and my workouts weren’t as intense and then they became nonexistent.. i gained 20 pounds but on my small frame it looked like 50. i have had the hardest time getting that weight off and it totally sucks. i tried several diets and nothing truly worked for me, until i decided that there is no time like the present to truly work hard for your body. i started eating clean and healthy, watching my portions, and cutting out a lot of unnecessary carbs! i finally realized that for me, my goal wasn’t to be super skinny and it wasn’t about the amount of pounds i lost or how much i weighed – it was about being FIT and strong. it was about being HEALTHY. i discovered your youtube channel a month ago and have been following the workouts – i’m not perfect, some days i just have to press pause and catch my breath or i can’t do as many reps as you, but i’m trying. i am already noticing differences in my muscle mass and it has made me so happy. you’re positive attitude is infectious and i am glad to be a loyal subscriber! i guess what i’m trying to say is, THANK YOU for helping me achieve my goals and as mean as people can be, it’s good to see you shaking it off and teaching other girls out there to be healthy. keep up the awesome work! :)

  • Melody says:

    Thanks Cassie! I dealt with an eating disorder all through out middle school, and nothing has been harder than gaining weight in recovery. I was down to about 92 lbs and i was 5’5. I am now about 115 and am 5’5. I have had so many comments like the ones you had, from family, friends, etc. You look beautiful and are a huge inspiration thanks! <3

  • Ally Lara says:

    I HATE it when women do this kind of ‘fatty–shamming’ comments, do you think we can’t see ourselves in a mirror? Seriously? We KNOW when we’ve gained some wait. My sister died a month ago, and during the wake a lot of my female relatives felt the need to comment on the fact that I am still unmarried (and just broke up with my boyfriend of four years, so I probably won’t e getting married any time soon) AND that I’ve gained some weight (after losing about 20Kgs last year). Talk about having no common sense or consideration for my feelings! I’ve felt so depressed ever since but you just made me realise it’s time to shake it off and move on. Keep working towards the lifestyle and body shape I’ve always wanted to have. I’ll start by going shopping for healthy food tonight after Uni and going for a late run. I need to weight myself to assess the damage, printing this month’s calendar and see if I can lose what I’ve gained by the 20th coz it’s my birthday and I want to look fabulous. THANKS A LOT FOR POSTING THIS!
    P.S. I think you look beautiful anyway :)

    • Ally Lara says:

      *weight anger/spell checker turned on me haha

  • Katy says:

    THANK YOU CASSY for posting this! The past few months, my diet has become very selective and I’ve verged on having an eating disorder. I knew what I was doing was unhealthy and I needed to stop, but I was afraid of loosing all the hard work I had put into my body- I lost nearly 10 pounds! Even though I’m doing better now and know it’s perfectly normal and healthy to gain a little wieght as I start being more loose about what I eat, it still scares me a little to see I’m gaining a little wieght. But your post reminded that what you look like shouldn’t take over your life, and that even people with rockin bodies like you gain weight every now and then- and still look just as fab as before!

  • Amanda Shreve says:

    Cassey,
    I think it’s really important and special that you shared this w all of us. Struggling w your weight makes you an American. Struggling w anything makes you human. I think it’s important that I, and everyone else who follows your lead, see’s that you’re human and share the same struggles that we do. We all look up to you, but i feel like there’s a greater connection between all of us now that we can relate more to each other. I don’t say this in a “we’re glad to see you fall” kind of way, I hope you understand how I mean this. You shouldn’t be embarrassed, you shouldn’t feel like you failed anyone, or yourself. Does it discredit you as a fitness instructor or nutrition advice giver? Not one bit. The best people who play a part in those fields are those who can fully understand what the others go through. If anything, I really feel like this makes you a better person and better at what you do. Don’t let it get you down, please! You should enjoy every minute of every day, especially when you’re doing the thing you love most. You shouldn’t have to worry about any popster who is going to criticize you from a video you did on how you look. That’s completely ridiculous!
    I just wanted to say a few things, I hope you understand and I really hope you find the time to read this. You look amazing, still.

  • Maxi says:

    Thank you, Cassey!
    Exactly what I needed now. After breaking up with my boyfriend two years ago I lost weight (5 kg) and two sizes, which is a lot at my height. I was working out every day, working like crazy (and barely eating) in order to get my mind off things. I loved my figure back then. In the pst two years my life has slowed down a bit (with a new boyfriend) and 3 of my kg are back on. I have a hard time to get them off, especially because I hate diets (I do eat healthy, but with sweets), the easiest way for me was always to work out, but time has become more of an issue. I have started to hate myself for not being able to put up with work and workouts (often staying on the first) and thus not getting back my best form. It’s true that sometimes the best form might not be the best lifestyle, and that thinking about what works (and feels good) is also important. (And it’s kind of silly to hate yourself for something others might not mind or even like the changes.)
    Thank you so much.
    I think you look great either way. :)

  • Juliet says:

    Cassey, I just wanted to let you know that YOU ARE AMAZING.
    Honestly. I am a broke college student with a lot of health problems.
    I can watch your YouTube videos and do my workouts and so far I have lost 10lbs with your help.
    You are an inspiration!! I know what you mean by Asian family members, I just saw my Grandma for the first time in about three years and she told me “Ju Ju you look fat now, and touched my stomach” That REALLY upset me… People don’t realize that the things that they say really hurt, I know she didn’t mean to be hateful, it’s just in our culture.
    I started gaining weight from the medicines that keep me alive, really. I’ve been extremely depressed and trying to do crazy diets and what not and nothing was working…
    Because of you I am now motivated, but not just motivated… I am also happy! AND I’m seeing (and feeling) the results!

    Thank you so much, you are wonderful!

  • S says:

    I don’t feel you had to explain yourself for gaining weight. Like someone else said, I also thought that your goals just changed or more like you moved on from one phase in your life to the next. I thought the bikini-competition thing was over and done with and now you are going back to your “normal” fitness-body (as you are still in awesome shape!). I also feel like a body isn’t supposed to be in bikini-competition mode all the time, I can’t see how that is healthy.

    You are very inspiring, Cassie. And the reason I watch your videos is not only because of how inspiring your body is but mainly because of how positive you are and how great your attitude is!

  • B says:

    Just: thank you. You’re a true inspiration. Bsc you’re not ashamed of being real. Big props to you (as always). LOVE!

    PS The new Daft Punk track is out. I remeber some of your early videos – intense abs all with Daft Punk – pleaaaaaase do a Daft Punk workout again! I know that I may be in minority here (I’m 27, I’m not into Justin, 1D, Taylor) but let the minority rule for a while ;) Love you!

  • Lisa says:

    I did notice your weight gain but I thought it was because your goals had changed, from leaning out to strength and muscle building, and I really admired that. You demonstrated that the body is constantly changing in response to your diet and exercise, and that you’re not just about looking super lean all the time, that curves and muscles are to be worked for and embraced too. Although weight gain is automatically associated with backtracking on progress, you’ve disproven that by accomplishing many other fitness goals, such as being able to do more pull-ups and being able to do standing splits. These things really inspire and motivate me to continuously set new and more challenging fitness goals for myself. Thank you for being such an awesome fitness instructor and role model. :)

  • Jane says:

    Hey Cassey,
    Thanks for sharing that post!
    I really feel like I can relate to your experience because I have also been struggling with it. I used to be obsessed and so meticulous about what I ate on my diet during my high school years and my freshman year of college, to the point where I would consider avoid eating and meeting with friends because I was afraid of gaining weight. I wasn’t anorexic or anything but I had always been so conscious about what I ate. My mind had always been influenced to think that beautiful=thin. Funny to think this, but I had always thought that no one would like or accept me if I gained weight or was “chubby” in others’ eyes. But this year, without my awareness, I slowly “let myself go” and I learned to be happy with who I am even though I gained 15-20 pounds since the last year. I never thought I would ever let myself get to this point just because of what I valued to be important to me but now I learned to value something greater, which was myself. My friends would agree with me that I “fell hard” but you know, even from gaining all this weight, I learned to be happy and content with myself for who I am. I learned that life isn’t about your weight or how you look but its about surrounding yourself with friends or a support system, who loves and accept you for you. Even though I am slowly starting to shed some weight, I don’t ever regret gaining this weight because I learned so much through it!
    Thanks Cassey for being so motivational, and also for being so optimistic and inspiring in all your videos!

  • Gigi says:

    Hey Cassey !!! :-) .. im from Africa, Namibia and just love everything the workouts and fotos… Recently joined the team with the workouts, and if anything you’re such an inspiration,
    i know beyond any doubt you inspire so many ladies out there . I too always face this problem, i once managed to starve myself from a size 14 to a 10 (75kg’s to 60) and then i was just 16yrs so it was quite a big difference. but like any quick fix, i gained it all back and the endless comments came with it and its hard, but its people like you that give us the strength to not forget our goals, even when peoples comments have us all emotional and we want to drown our hurt in carbs and candy. And really people can be soo judgmental, i think there’s more to this than just having a bikini body, being healthy physically and
    mentally, have the right self image.. your post really picked me up and i feel i can move past the guilt cause you did.

  • Mary says:

    Hi Cassey!!
    I was so surprised upon reading this post that people said those things to you…but even more so, that they even noticed! I find that so strange. You were doing a fun workout video, talking, smiling and laughing through the entire thing when I felt like my abs were going to rip apart. You were just the same Cassey, my workout bff and motivator! I did not notice any change in the way you looked. More importantly, I didn’t notice any change in what you were doing! Your happiness is contagious. I love you!!

  • Ellie says:

    Reading all these comments is making me cry, tears of happiness!! I have been suffering from anorexia for three years, I’m am beating it now but for a long time I was in the dark about my body (I won’t go into details). For the first time in ages I am happy and I’m happy with my body, I too have gained a lot of weight, so far about 25lbs and still have about 5lbs to go, but you know what?….. I’m exited!!!! I can’t wait to be ‘healthy’, and doing your videos Cassey has pushed me through, I feel strong and so full of life, ready to take on the world! I know what you felt like to be scared, but I think there is truth in saying if you are strong, fit and most of all, happy then it doesn’t matter what size you are. Life is about the moments which you cherish, the mistakes you learn from and the people that matter to you. If you feel the road getting a little bumpy, there are always routes to take to make it more smooth.. Or you can ride through it and come out the other side so much stronger.
    One things for sure, judging by all the messages you had so far, you are far from alone!! We all stand by you and you inspire us!
    I think you ARE beautiful Cassey, to me, you glow!
    xxx :)

  • Oh my goodness, Cassey, I’ve been stumbling in and out of your website as I undergo my Pilates instructor training, and it was already obvious that your genuine nature shines through your articles. However, this post really takes it to a whole new level. Thank you so much for your candor in talking about weight gain as a fitness instructor. I decided to actually pursue Pilates instructor training because it helped me lose a lot of weight, but I still have a long way to go. Like you said, the “shame of being ashamed” is a regular, but not constant, battle. The important thing is to focus on being healthy, not numbers and definitely not what other people think. You go, girl. Keep it up.

  • Keisha says:

    Hey Cassey,
    I am a dance teacher and I am not really slim. I have that “bat wing” and many other fat-flaws,
    but what the world doesn’t know is I HAVE LOST 20 KG . I was obese, but I can’t help my love for dance. I dance, I teach THEM WHO TRUST ME. And believe me, I know how you feel.
    I respect you so much, your videos.. I do them. I don’t care if you gain weight! You help people, like I help my students. Love!

  • Sabrina says:

    Hi Cassey,

    I found you through the “Gangnam Style Cardio” and you got me hooked by writing articles that fitness is not about getting thinner and thinner but about being healthy and strong. It was nice to see that there is a community of people who are trying to be fit and healthy and don’t just focuss on the weight. Since then I’m a regular and happy reader of your blog and a huge fan.
    Your blog and your videos changed my life. Sometimes I still hear this little voice in my head telling me “well, SHE can afford thinking like that, YOU better loose some fat!”, but now it is much easier to shut her up. I have much more self confidence and I adapted a healthier lifestyle (not as good as yours, but still an improvement :-) ).
    I have done the ABC ABS workout yesterday for the first time as I haven’t had access to the internet for a while. I noticed that you looked slightly different and actually I was very impressed by that! This obsession about weight is so ridiculous, and I am proud that you withstand it! In my opinion, it only adds credibility to you and your message.
    Thank you for all this, you are such an inspiration an motivation.

    Hugs from Germany,
    Sabrina

  • Egzona says:

    Hey,

    I actually lose weight very fast and I don’t like that. If anything, I would like to gain weight and it’s veryy frustrating how on the internet, on youtube and all other social media people constantly talk about losing weight. I would like to know more about gaining weight.

  • Kailey says:

    Cassey! Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you for this post! Last summer I lost the most weight I ever had, I was so skinny, and had the body I always wanted, but I was the most unhappy I have ever been in my life. I felt so deprived and down. I felt I couldn’t enjoy myself and I would often skip out on fun events with friends so I didn’t have to eat and drink with them because I knew it would be bad for my diet. I was in my own “little diet world” and nothing else mattered. A whole year later, I gained back most of the weight I lost- but I’ve never been happier. I am not 100% satisfied with my physical appearance, but I’m 150% satisfied with my life. I am much happier now- both my friends, family, and boyfriend commented that I’m much more pleasurable now than I was when I was skinny. So although I’m not my dream size, I am happy. I am able to go out with friends, enjoy yolo foods every now and than and my world doesn’t revolve around my weight and diet- and that is SUCH a GOOD feeling! Thank you for reminding us that our weight does fluctuate and that we are women, it is normal, but at the end of the day what matters is your happiness!

    Thank you for your inspiration!

  • Pooja says:

    Hey Cassey,
    i have just started up with u n it honestly feels great to pain my lazy flabby body.but there is one thing that i am truly sad about…can a proper exercise and skipping your dinner not work out for your body??/is dieting really essential??you know i stay in hostel..and i guess dieting for me is seriously a bad news…

  • Ayria says:

    I’m sorry people say hurtful things to you. It happened to me, and actually it was my motivation. I can’t afford NOT to feel ashamed.. It’s a slippery slope for me….but that’s just me. Negative things motivate me.

    Anyway, don’t let it get to you. You know what you’re capable of. And when the time is right, you can get back there. And if you don’t feel it’s necessary to do so…then more power to ya! That is YOUR choice, not your aunts. <3

  • Mary Haley says:

    Cassey,
    that was amazing. And you know what? It’s because you’re human that I fell in love with your workout videos to begin with. When I was pregnant I preferred the videos where you looked less toned because I felt like I was working out with someone real, someone who I could look at and have fun working out with without freaking out about my changing body. And after my pregnancy I looked to your more toned videos for inspiration to tone back up and work hard. But your ups and downs is part of what makes you so relatable and wonderful to workout with and I for one and glad to be working out with such an inspiring, real person.
    xox

  • Kristy says:

    Thanks for being such an inspiration! Its so crazy but I was having MAJOR issues with this topic today and some magical force led me to this post! It is so crazy that you always find what you need when you need it. Needless to say I’m ending the day in a way better perspective than when I started. Keep being you! :):)

  • Liz says:

    Cassey you are beautiful inside and out! You motivate me to work out each day with a smile on my face (never before has that happened) I loooove your videos and don’t listen to others about being “Fat” I wish I had your body! Your awesome! :D

  • Ella says:

    “Feeling like you’re out of diet jail. Feeling like you better take in as much food as possible before it’s taken away from you again.” – OMG Cassey, you said what I´ve been trying to express past 6 months! I gained over 10 lbs since my “ideal weight” like this and I felt horrible, but you made me feel way better now.
    Don´t be ashamed. You are still amazing!

  • tabitha says:

    Keep your chin up! You are healthy! No one can be expected to keep a competion body fat %.

  • Rikkileigh Smith says:

    honestly, I did not even notice a tiny change in your beautiful body. all those people picking on your weight changing is trying to make themselves feel better, trying to help themselves feel better for not working as hard as you do. I know I am no where close to what you have but I am working my butt off maybe not to my fullest yet, but it’s something I have to work on. you are GORGEOUS. your body is banging you are the reason I try to eat clean and work out only to your awesome videos. I look up to you. I love your high energy it makes me want to push harder, ! so what if you gained a few pounds, you still look absolutely amazing and you are still kicking ass. so thank you for pushing me. without you I’d be on the couch eating chips. hehe.

    xoxo Rikkileigh.

  • Stephanie says:

    Hey Cassey, just wanted to say: fitness instructors have the right to gain weight too! Everyone needs a break sometimes and if gaining weight is a result, so be it, that’s only natural. No one can sustain a strict diet/exercise regime without periodical rests/breaks

  • Jennifer says:

    hey Cassey !!! It’s the first time I drop a comment on your mail box. The reading of your post was very moving and I complety identified with you, though I never had the bikini body (yet ;-) ) I totally get the feeling of being afraid of food and you expressed it perfectly. What I would like to say is that you inspire me even more because we can see that you are human and it feels so good not to look at the fitness instructor like some kind of alien creature who has achieved what I will always fail to do !! And by the way, in my opinion yo still have a bikini body !!! <3 Don't change a thing, those would should be ashamed are the ones dropping such lame comments on you weight. Lots of love from France :-D gros bisous xxxx Jennifer

  • Kam says:

    Cassey, I found your post very touching, but from the other side. Annoying people should just keep their thoughts for themselves and you shouldn’t give them the opportunity to define who you are!

    My “Problem” is the opposite – I’m 22years, 167cm/47kg. I eat what I want, I don’t starve myself and I think I am beautiful! I have nice ass, pretty big boobs for my body and some abs! And now I’m finally getting some muscles on my legs and arms, so I think I could be pretty good VS Angel :D
    I know what you’re all thinking: “Life’s easy being skinny…You don’t have our problems, why are you complaining, blah blah blah” .. Well, let me tell you, being skinny isn’t all pros. Skinny girls are judged too. I was bulled at school about it. Yes, just like you were about being fat. And being made fun of for being skinny hurts just as much as being made fun of for being big.
    Yes, I do yoga and sports. I love your Pop Pilates and i do it everyday! But do you know what i hear about it? That I’m doing it to get skinnier or lose weight, like I’m anorexic or something (OMG really? I mean how can you even think this bullshit??) How should I explain them that I want to be FIT. Because I love my body, I feel good in it and I want to keep it that way – thin and healthy!
    Back then, in school, I just wanted to scream in my bullies faces: – “Why are you allowed to love your “curves” but it’s wrong for me to love my “bones”? (By the way don’t you hate how society is changing the definitions of skinny and curvy. Curvy means you have curves, like big hips, large breasts, and a big butt. This does not mean you are overweight though. You can have all of those features, but still be skinny. Skinny does not mean you are a pile of bones, it simply means that you have low body fat!) Why is it okay for you to call me anorexic, but horrible for me to call somebody fat? If you can tell me to gain weight, why can’t I tell you to lose weight? If you can feel beautiful for being big, I can feel beautiful for being small? It’s called DNA you jealous bitches, GET OVER IT!! ”
    But now I know it’s not the way, cause they will never ever get it! So.. That’s just the way I am, that’s the way I’m always going to be. I’ve learned to love my body and I am not sorry for that. I’ve discovered that people are always going to be rude, and they’re probably always going to comment on the things they know least about.
    And Cassey, we all have problems with others bitching.. But remember, you are brave, you are amazing instructor, you are inspiring so many of us all around the world, and most of all – you are human with life, problems and etc.!! You should be proud of who you are and how you look!
    xoxo

  • Kathleen says:

    HI Cassey! I have been meaning to comment on this article since when I saw it, but I have been so busy. Anyways, here I go. I was so upset someone had the nerve to tell you that. I actually felt upset for you, if that makes sense! I applaud your honesty on such a touchy subject. Your openness has made me life you even more because you do not have that ‘plastic’ feel some other fitness instructors have. You are real. Your videos and the information you provide towards living a healthy lifestyle have motivated and inspired me sooo much. You have helped me move away from having a slightly pear shape/roundish figure to a progressively toner and healthier looking body. Also, through your positive comments (“the determination you put into these workouts can be applied to other areas of your life”) have helped me on my journey to overcome depression and other issues in my life. I thank-you for that. Keep on doing what you have always been doing! Peace and love!

  • Deanna says:

    Cassey,

    I know you’ve probably received hundreds of comments like this, but I’d just like for you to know.
    I love you. I don’t mean to sound like a creepy stalker lesbian but I do. You make me want to work out, you motivate me like no other trainer has before.
    In fact just the other day I was feeling really depressed about my weight. I have hyperthyroidism and have had difficulty losing weight. I walked into my little gym in my basement, booted up my laptop and then cried. But the moment I started your “fat blasting cardio workout” your energy, your smile, your music and your little comments had me smiling through my tears and 60 minutes later I was laughing and feeling good.
    Cassey you do more than inspire me. I’m also asian and understand what it feels like to be put down about your weight by family members. My mum and grandmothers are worst for that. I love working out to your videos, because every day I can feel myself getting stronger. You make me feel good about myself. You’re one of the only people in my life who doesn’t care about my weight (even though you have no idea who I am or what I look like)

    I just wanted you to know that you”re a beautiful person. I truly believe that if you’re beautiful on the inside, it’ll shine through for everyone to see and you’re a wonderful example of that. Don’t let bitchy, insecure people put you down.

    I know you’ll stay strong for us popsters :)

    ps I honestly never noticed you gained weight

  • Deanna says:

    Cassey,

    I know you’ve probably received hundreds of comments like this, but I’d just like for you to know.
    I love you. I don’t mean to sound like a creepy stalker lesbian but I do. You make me want to work out, you motivate me like no other trainer has before.
    In fact just the other day I was feeling really depressed about my weight. I have hyperthyroidism and have had difficulty losing weight. I walked into my little gym in my basement, booted up my laptop and then cried. But the moment I started your “fat blasting cardio workout” your energy, your smile, your music and your little comments had me smiling through my tears and 60 minutes later I was laughing and feeling good.
    Cassey you do more than inspire me. I’m also asian and understand what it feels like to be put down about your weight by family members. My mum and grandmothers are worst for that. I love working out to your videos, because every day I can feel myself getting stronger. You make me feel good about myself. You’re one of the only people in my life who doesn’t care about my weight (even though you have no idea who I am or what I look like)

    I just wanted you to know that you”re a beautiful person. I truly believe that if you’re beautiful on the inside, it’ll shine through for everyone to see and you’re a wonderful example of that. Don’t let bitchy, insecure people put you down.

    I know you’ll stay strong for us popsters :)

    ps it’d be awesome if you came to Vancouver BC for an outdoor pilates class!

  • Naana says:

    Cassie, the whole time I was doing the ABC abs video I was honestly just thinking about how perfect your body was and how I wish I could be as fit as you. Ignore all the haters, I’m sure they don’t look even half as good as you!

  • Mylene says:

    Hi Cassey! Your post is truly inspiring! :)
    I’ve always have a body image issue with myself, and still am. Even though I’m 160cm and weighing 40kg, I’ve never seen myself as skinny. Constantly exercising and restricting… Through your post, I do hope to be able to love my body and not be obsessed with my weight.
    Thanks! Hope you’ll some up with more articles related to body issues!

    Regards,
    Mylene

  • Lk says:

    I am Caucasian, my husband is Japanese. His father ALWAYS comments on weight. Same questions. “Are you getting fat?” “Are you having another baby?” “Oh, good..it looks like you lost weight.” When my sister was skinny from being a drug addict, he commented relentlessly about how great she looked.
    My husband reassures me and says it’s just cultural, but if he says ANYTHING to my daughter, this mama bear’s claws are coming out! It may be cultural, but in this culture, there is enough pressure without family members commenting on weight. I NEVER comment on anyone’s size, even if they lost weight.

  • Kelly says:

    Cassey! If anything this gives you MORE credibility as a fitness instructor because of your honesty and being so easy to relate to!

  • Grace says:

    Hey Cassie, I think you were incredibly brave to put this out in the open and even though I’m not a fitness instructor or anything i had the same feeling! I think its the thing about being a woman. But it really doesn’t take away any of the great inspiration you are to me and to so many other girls and women. I am so happy that you posted this, because im not sure if you realize, but I think that with this you send out the greatest message. To be brave, to never give up, to forgive yourself, to get back on track and countless other things. And you help others realize that its ok to fluctuate with your motivation, because its so natural. I just want to thank you for your inspiration as a fitness instructor and as a person. <3, hugs and kisses

  • Daniela Santisteban says:

    Hey Cassey….

    I really don’t think you should let people get to you like that. I mean I understand you were offended, I would be too, but I feel like in this post you sounded defeated and bitter more than anything over one person’s silly comment that didn’t even intend to hurt your feelings — it was just communicated wrongly. :( I’m really sorry that you took it to heart, but remember the same things you tell all popsters. I think a lesson that rarely gets highlighted in your blog is that healthy is beautiful….I really feel that this post defeated that purpose and am a little disappointed….:/ … I hope that you’re going to “start eating super duper clean on a consistent basis and train harder for some weeks, and I will have [your] bikini body back.” for yourself and because it was in your plans…not just cause some girl came across the wrong way in your blog. One of the reasons that I love your blog is your confidence…I didn’t see it shine through in this post at all, it sounded like you you accepted whatever this other person said, and were trying to argue with her as to why it’s okay instead of letting it roll off your shoulder, smile and say “No worries, I’m still healthy, I’m still beautiful, and if I gained a centimeter of fat 1- it doesn’t matter, and 2 – I’m fit enough to get back on track in no time!”
    Considering how many young girls follow your blog I feel like those are value that should be highlighted instead of “Don’t judge me for gaining weight cause I know it looks bad and I’m so disappointed in me and I’m gonna lose it so I look pretty again!” …. I don’t think that’s a good example for the amount of 12 -15yr olds that already have confidence issues….

    • Lydia says:

      This. This comment. Cassey, please read this.

  • Laurel says:

    Hey Cassey, I wanted to let you know that your recent post really struck me. I’m a junior in high school and it’s been my most stressful year yet. I’m loaded on difficult classes in a highly competitive school and it has not been easy to stay fit. Last year, in the spring, I joined the school track team. After that, I worked out consistently all summer. By the time school started, I was definitely at my ideal body type. But then, I let myself go once the stress piled up and fitness fell by the wayside. I wasn’t happy with my grades, with my body, or my own mindset. Then, after midterms, I found your channel and I gave your videos a shot. You made me feel the liveliness I felt last summer when I exercised regularly. Those endorphin rushes that I missed came back. Although I dealt with really sore muscles for a while, I knew that if I kept watching your videos, I could become stronger. So I did. I can’t say that my lifestyle is as healthy as last summer’s, when I was stress-free. I still can’t work out as much as I would like to, but I’m feeling a lot better about my body. I didn’t lose weight though. In fact I gained in muscle (and probably lost some fat). I actually look better in this and I’m loving the progress that I’m making. More importantly, I’ve stopped worrying about numbers. I stopped weighing myself and worrying about my caloric intake. I just did what made me feel good and I haven’t had any body image troubles. I also try to help my friends with their body image issues too and hopefully it’s working. =)

    The only issue is my mother. She’s noticed my weight gain and she keeps bugging me about it. I am Asian, so I understand what you mean–the constant commentary on your body. She thinks I’m heavy, when I’m in the 10-20th percentile for weight. And she keeps warning me that my muscle gain will deteriorate into fat if I don’t watch myself. I’ve gotten so frustrated to the point where I just block out everything she says about it. One day we fought because I refused to weigh myself, and she said I wasn’t respecting reality, that I was blind to it. My reason was not that I was scared of the number. I just don’t think it matters if I personally feel good about myself. What’s worse is when she starts criticizing my sister’s body. She’s only 12 years old and is really fit and thin. Recently, she had some menstrual issues and was anemic. Because of that, she hasn’t been able to be as physically active as she used to. Plus, she’s a growing kid so she likes to eat a lot. But she still looks beautiful! And she’s only 12! I told my mom that I didn’t care if she criticized me, ’cause I have thick skin and I can take it, but she could NOT tell my sister to lose weight too.

    A few days ago I had a checkup with the doctor. Indeed, I did gain weight. But my doctor commented on how fit and toned I looked. He reassured my mother that I was absolutely fine and that she shouldn’t be so fixated on my weight when eating disorders are a major problem amongst teenage girls. I think after that, she finally listened and she hasn’t been commenting on my weight.

    For now, my top priority is finishing the school year with high grades while maintaining my fitness. So far, I think I’m doing that nicely. Thank you Cassey, for being such an amazing, honest inspiration. Thank you for reminding why I love to exercise and eat well! And thank you for helping me regain my total confidence. =)

    • Charlie Ho says:

      Hi Laurel,
      When people comments on others, that is the self-reflection of their own weakness. On the other hand, we all have to learn how to defensively stop them from making comments by pointing out their own weakness and also bringing them to this blog to educate them about the reality – gaining or losing weight is part of the journey of life experience to find our own physical and mental balance. Nature has taught us all about harmony. Feeling is a feedback of your own mental and physical progress. When we are managing our daily life, there are thing that we have to juggle. Sometimes, things go smoothly, some other times they do not fit well. Looking at life in a big picture, it is not really a big deal when your are off your target sometime, especially when you are content and happy. Life is a trade off. That is why, when you accomplish something, you treat yourself by sharing with others, having a party, buying yourself gift………etc.
      To stop people who either put pressure or make comments to others, we need to make them taste their own medicine by courteously asking them questions such as ” when was the last time that other people make comments on your weight and figures ? Are you truly happy with those comments ? If you constantly make comments on other people weight, then you may want to make comments to your own body first.. Is that how you feel about your own body ?………”
      Keep in mind there is no difference between a pingpong ball, a basket ball, and a baseball, …..or any type of ball, The only matter is if the ball is well rounded.
      Cheers

  • amanda says:

    you look great the way you are. your “bikini competition” body wasn’t healthy, because you weren’t eating a balanced diet, if you were only eating broccoli, chicken breasts and egg whites. shame on you for promoting a diet that’s not healthy, just to get to a certain body shape! as a fitness instructor, you should be ashamed of yourself!

    • Celadon says:

      Hey Amanda! Cassey definitely acknowledged the fact that the diet was just for the competition, and was extremely unrealistic and unsafe for long periods of time. She’s got nothing to be ashamed of.

  • Fiona says:

    Hi Cassey! Instead of saying that I can relate to this post of yours, I would say this issue is the main reason that I am following your workout. But I am glad, that I found you. Not only because of your awesome workout, but also to have someone who is like a sister, telling me its ok to do this.
    I am a 45kg, 148cm, yeah I know I am pretty short for a 21 years old. I used to be slimmer, where my weight are around 40kg. Well personally I wouldnt call myself fat, but who would, until one day a girl came up to me and ask me if I gain weight. I really wouldnt mind if she is a close friend of mine, but she is not. So that actually hurts a lot hearing that from her. Even before hearing this from her, I already have someone who keeps on telling me that I am fat. That person is my boyfriend and yes, he did used the word fat. For anyone who had seen me in real life, wouldnt exactly label me as fat, they would just say that I put on some weight. Hearing people telling me fat, is something really hurtful and it makes me guilty.
    I dont have the perfect body. I have some slight double chin, a flabby tummy and a not so toned arms. Before becoming a popster, I am not exactly the athletic kind of girl, I just hate exercising. That was until I found you, Cassey. You are truly my inspiration.
    From you, I have not only learnt how to make myself fitter, healthier, and stronger, but also to become brighter and I am fill with more positive thoughts. After reading this post, I know that I am not alone and I totally understand how you feel. Thank you for telling me to love myself more, and that makes me love you more.

  • Mary says:

    Cassey, I feel you. It’s funny because I started following you last year around your bikini competition, so I saw how skinny and toned you got, and always hated the extra layer of fat. So the weight came off like crazy and I was so proud of myself! Then after a bad breakup, it started coming back. I know you felt like you gained weight too, so don’t feel it’s just you. And don’t feel it’s perminant. According to my friend who’s an astrologist, this is the year of the immune system, so if you’re gaining weight, feeling lacklustre and getting sick more often, it might explain something’s.

    Otherwise, just remember that maybe girls like us are shaped that way for a reason. Not that either of us are big or even chubby! We just have that extra little layer! Keep working on it to make you happy, not to impress your followers! We can do it :)

    • Mary says:

      I mean the extra layer f fat on me!!! Sorry!

  • Thank you so much for your honesty and transparency! It’s so important for women to know that they are not alone when it comes to body image and weight issues. I know there are tons of bloggers that hide behind the curtain and only show what they want us to see, but your transparency is why you have so many loyal followers! It takes so much courage to talk about weight and eating issues, and I have to commend you for being so strong. You are helping so many girls by sharing your struggles that so many of us go through! I’ve been there with the disordered eating (anorexia and bulimia) and never feeling good or small enough. It’s easy to get consumed and obsessed with calories (I was afraid of fruit too) and being “perfect,” but I’m so proud of you for realizing that your diet at that time was too strict. I love your optimism in this post that everything will be ok, and that it’s ok to have setbacks! You are truly empowering Cassey!

    xo Catherine

  • Tia says:

    Hey Cassey, i cant believe people are saying such rude things to you but please dont take those comments to heart because to me you have an amazing body! The people saying those things are jus insecure about themselves and jus need to take it out on someone else. You have been such an insperation to me i have been doing your pilates vids for about 2 months and i do them everyday! I came across your “Miley Cyrus abs” video first and thought” wow that girl has a great body i wanna look like that” and ive been doing them ever since. You motivated me and sooo many others to get into shape and jus be happy with ourselves and no matter what size you are you are so beautiful inside and out! You have an awesome personality which is why i have fun working out with your vids! Keep your head up girl and dont listen to the haters cuz there are so many fans who love you for you!!
    <3 Tia!!

  • Asia says:

    Cassey!!! You poor thing!!! I’m so angry at how cruel people can be! I thought you looked fantastic in the abc abs video! Don’t let commenters get you down girlfriend! There’s no accountability for people’s actions online which causes people to feel free to take their own problems out on strangers. You help so many people including me with feeling healthy and keeping a positive attitude! It’s so brave of you to put yourself out there for the world to see and scrutinize. This post has made me love you so much more than I already do! Negative body image is such a huge problem and to hear someone so beautiful like you admit that you have the same feelings of insecurity makes people like me feel ok with ourselves and to love ourselves no matter what! You are the best don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Thank you for putting yourself out there for the benefit of people like me! Keep on keepin on! Love you!!!

  • mandy says:

    Cassey, I definitely feel where you’re coming from. While pregnant with my son I gained 30lbs. During and after my pregnancy, I thought I looked pretty good and felt awesome. A few months after my son was born my mom passed away. So between grieving and raising a newborn baby (his dad was working 24/7), I tried any and everything to feel better. I had no car so I was resigned to becoming a hermit and my son wasn’t the easiest baby to take care of. My best fix for how I was feeling was eating. Now three years later, I’ve put on a bit more weight (more than I’d like to share..) and it’s totally dragged me down, not to mention my son’s dad (we’re separated..) makes a comment about it every chance he gets. So I get to a mirror and tell myself that no matter what I look like, I’m still the same girl I’ve always been, I’m still a great mom, sister, & daughter even though things have changed. No matter what you look like, you’re still the same girl everyone loves to read/talk/workout with!

  • Michelle says:

    A once-good friend of mine once exclaimed, in front of my whole class, “Wow, Michelle’s butt is HUGE!” Naturally everyone looked at me and gazed at my butt. I felt uncomfortable and ashamed, and I cried about it for probably 2 days. The truth is, I do have a little booty, and I do have hips, and I’m proud of them. I’ve been doing POP Pilates along with other workouts and they have changed my life and my perspective, I don’t think anyone in the room at the time could’ve said the same. It’s terrible that people can berate you for YOUR own body when yes, it is in fact YOUR body. It doesn’t make sense, and we should persevere past their negativity! Just like the cruel comments in the challenging ABC Abs video, people can be so cruel when it’s completely unneeded and heartless. Cassey your body is fit, healthy and beautiful!! Don’t let them bring you down, they don’t deserve the satisfaction. They’re probably just jealous of the wonderfully inspiring internet sensation and community you’ve developed through your love of clean eating and fitness.
    The moral of this is to never let people change your perspective of yourself and your body, it’s fruitless to do so. :) I hope you continue to help us POPsters and yourself through your fitness and health journeys, because you keep us going and motivated and HAPPY.
    We are here for you. <3

  • Jodie says:

    I completely relate to this. I’m in grad school, and in the last month of the semester I NEVER have time to work out and I find myself needing more food for energy. I’m still writing final papers right now, still not doing any workouts and I totally bought some candy to help me through. I’m letting myself do what I need to and I’ll hop back on the wagon when all my work is turned in.

    I used to be upset that I couldn’t maintain my best weight once I’d achieved it for the first time, but life happens. It’s no big deal. I think you still look amazing and if anything the fact that you know what it is to struggle makes you more appealing as a teacher!

    I was wondering if you might think about doing a post some time about tips for staying healthy/healthier when you’re really busy? I’ve made sure to keep drinking lots of water and tea, I made a couple of meals in advance, and I’m having green monster smoothies every couple of days to make sure I’m still getting some veggies. I haven’t had time/energy to work out but I have done some walking when possible. I haven’t found an answer to not consuming way too much sugar though!

    I think you amazing and you have nothing to be ashamed about!

  • Hallie says:

    Cassey,
    You continue to wow me every time I read your blogs. You are such a great role model and you are my inspiration. I feel like I’m coming from a similar place as you, except to a greater degree. I was at my goal weight and felt so proud of myself. But then I sustained a knee injury that lasted 6 months and began a new lifestyle at boarding school. I was a mess without being able to run for 6 months and having to eat cafeteria food because I didn’t have a kitchen of my own. I gained 20 pounds. When I realized just how much my new eating mindset (can always burn it off tomorrow) was affecting my health I felt like it was too late. After recovering from the injury, I lost a few of those 20 pounds but my mindset hasn’t shifted. I’m still overeating and not thinking I’m “good” enough to wear my cute clothes that no longer fit me. The only thing that fits me is my sweatpants, and people have started to make comments to me, “Hallie did you just come from a run or something?” “Sweats again?” “I think it’s time to go get you a better wardrobe.” But I don’t want a new wardrobe, not until I feel comfortable with my body. I keep throwing myself pity parties because I think I’m worthless. And those cry fests only lead to binges. Cassey you give me hope that its not just me. That even fitness instructors have up and down periods. That I’m not alone. I wanna give you a computer hug and tell you to keep on preaching it. Sure your up over your normal body weight, but there is no “perfect” human being, your just a real one. A real one who is making a real difference in this girls life, along with many others. Thank you Cassey. Infinite x’s and o’s -Hallie

  • Art says:

    Hi Cassey! I know what you feel. I’m a dietitian, everybody expects you to be skinny and to eat right, you must imagine the pressure around my dietitian colleagues… We have to think that we are professionals and we know what we know very well, and trust our knowledge. We have a family and other non related to our profession business, we are human too :) Kisses from portugal

  • Kat says:

    Dear Cassey,
    Gotta say – while your physique is certainly an inspiration to all of your fitness clients & followers, it is your attitude that keeps us coming back for more. Your enthusiasm for life is what truly inspires me to take better care of myself. When you are 100 years old with a walker, I will still be taking your fitness/life advice. I hope that you can truly know that it is your character and your integrity that make you the most beautiful and inspiring instructor (and person!).
    Thanks for changing my life (not because you have an inner thigh gap!).
    xoxo Kat

  • Kristen says:

    Cassey,

    I cannot believe that anyone would ever comment on your weight. You look absolutely amazing and I am so inspired by the fact that your are both fit and healthy. You offer realistic, great advice that has truly changed my life. There are so many times when I feel like I don’t want to workout, but I know I will enjoy it because your videos are fun and they work! I am always telling people what an awesome instructor you are and letting them know about all of your great videos. I never thought I could do 100 burpees, but I did, thanks to you, and it really made me feel empowered. Thank you for being so relatable (and a little silly : ) )!! I hope I get to go to one of your meet-ups soon!

    Your fan!

    Kristen

  • Michelle says:

    Cassey,
    Thank you so much for writing this. I think this stuff every day and I know how hard it is. I just started a new job and was then told I have a longer commute than I expected. I totally understand being so busy and barely having time to sit down, let alone work out. Though I haven’t worked out as frequently as I’d like, your words are always in the back of my head…something is better than nothing. Even if I do 3 or 4 of your videos, that’s something and it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t still eat that extra granola bar on the way home because it’s extra calories.
    You are so inspiring. Your positive attitude and approach to fitness is what keeps me going–not how you look or how much you weigh.
    Thanks for being your awesome self!! <3 Michelle

  • yelija says:

    Just what i needed to read.. I’ve been feeling the same as you feel Cassey!. I’ve been in the best shape of my life as i was doing Pilates. I devoted myself doing your exercise everyday and learned to eat veggies which I hated since I was young, before i went vacation 4 months ago. And I was thinner and felt so much in shame. But after i had my vacation and went back to work I started to loosen up & wasn’t strict with eating healthy foods even started to become laxed with my exercise regimen. Because of that i gained weight and felt so horrible every time other people would say “oh your fat again” but after reading your post today, it made me feel that I’m not alone with this struggle. Thank you Cas for inspiring me again. You really made my day. God bless you and may continue to inspire people. Your really such an amazing person. Your really an inspiration to us.. God bless!

  • Gaz says:

    The body cannot deal with such a strict diet and I think its really important not to push your body too far. if you gain a bit of weight so what I think you look great the way you are, thanks for this honest post

  • Katie says:

    I love you so much for writing this. When I made the decision to get in s