Would you dump your partner if he or she gained weight?
Would you dump your partner if he or she gained weight?
A couple days ago on Facebook I posted that picture above from Askmen.com and it started a heated debate. You can read the comments here.
At first it was just people going back and forth saying that how you care for yourself actually shows through physically. Others said they didn’t care if their partner gained weight as long as the love was still there, they were good. But then 50 comments later we got some nasty language going on. Name calling. Cussing. People calling people fat. Things I had never seen before in the community. I didn’t even know about this until a fan commented on my last post and told me how disappointed she was with the thread’s outcome. I checked it out, read every single comment, and was appalled.
The interesting thing is that suddenly a bunch of guys were commenting on the post. The diversity in perspectives was valuable but not the offensive language. I’m not going to name names but if you read the thread its pretty obvious who didn’t belong there. I respect everyone’s opinion, but PLEASE be polite and courteous of other’s feelings! Do I really have to say that!?!? A lot of girls go to the fan page to stay motivated and reading things like “get your round fat body to the gym” is not helping anyone. It is our responsibility as a community to create a nurturing environment for each other to grow and get stronger.
Ugh!
Ok now onto my own opinion on this.
Would I dump my boyfriend if he gained too many pounds? No. I wouldn’t if it were just based on the weight. If it doesn’t affect his personality, our affection, and our love for each other then all is good. But! But here comes the more complicated answer.
If he gained “too many pounds” it probably WOULD affect his energy levels and eventually his personality. The survey doesn’t explain what “too many” means, but to me, it means enough to change a person. When a person changes, the dynamics between 2 people change. It’s at this point where you decide to leave or make things better.
For me, it is an easy answer. Stay and work through the pounds and regain the healthy, active partner you once had. The experience will bond you two even closer. Helping someone regain control of their life is a satisfying thing for both people involved. This happens everyday when I train my students. That’s why I’m so happy when I teach.
However, if my boyfriend did not want to take control of his own life, I have a problem with that. A huge problem. Whether its fitness, health, school, work, business, or love – I need someone who is driven and will follow through with their goals. The “too many pounds” may or may not be an indicator of laziness and carelessness. You can still have a skinny couch potato because they come in all sizes. For me the deal breaker is the drive. If you don’t have the fire within to make your own changes, there’s nothing I can do to help you. This is break up material.
48% of men said they’d leave a lady if she gained too much weight and 20% of women said they’d dump a man if he packed on the pounds. We don’t know the reasons behind the answers so share with me your opinion. What would you do if your partner gained too much weight?
Disclaimer: survey was taken on askmen.com, results may be skewed
32 thoughts on “Would you dump your partner if he or she gained weight?”
There are Array32 comments posted by our users.
People go through pains in their relationships it’s hard to give up on true love, sometimes we pretend to be fine but we are not, fighting to get the one we love is also fighting to get back our joy and happiness. Robinson buckler is here to help the broken hearts for he’s capable and able to get your EX lovers, partners, wife and husband back with he’s powerful love spells. he also cured me from Herpes Get in touch with his email through robinsonbuckler@ (yahoo). com …🙏🙏🙏😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: robinsonbuckler ( @ hotmail ). com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee.
I had a problem with my boyfriend 6 months ago, which lead to our broke up. When he broke up with me, i was not myself again; i fill so empty inside me. Until a friend of mine told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too. i email the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening, not up to 48 hours, my boyfriend gave me a call and he come back to me and told me he was sorry for everything that happen,i am so grateful to this spell caster and will not stop publishing his name on the net for the good work he is doing.If you need his help,you can
Email: ((Robinsonbuckler@ hotmail. c o m))
Not certain where to begin, I was overwhelmed lately trying to get out of a funk situation in a relationship. My fiancé was a whole other story. He was downright hurtful and ungrateful; his life and belongings were in shambles. He was someone addicted to drugs and women. He liked hiding behind excuses, giving me reasons to live a reckless life.
But we share great bond, we can’t let go because we aren’t perfect after all.
One thing we needed was someone or a spell doctor that will place himself in our spot to cure or tell us how easy it is to maintain or build a relationship surrounded by true love and healthy living.
However, the reality of my story is that Dr. Wakina via (dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail. com) with a succeeding love spell made sure none of my pipe dreams at the expenses of a broken heart become reality.
manifestspellcast@gmail. com is spectacular in love spell! his love spell came out tremendously, I highly recommending this spell caster to whatever problems you are experiencing in your relationship, his love spell is absolutely wonderful.
What a beautiful and wonderful testimony some time things you don’t believe can just happen.
My name is Mrs Susan Patrick am 28years old i got married at the age of 21 i have only one child and i was living happily .After one year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail i cry and i cry seeking for help i discussed it with my best friend and she promise to help me she told me of a man called DrAbu he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot do that is why they call him Dr Abu. I contacted his email address at abufatima77powerspellcaster@gmail.com And i told him everything that happen all he told me is that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after 3days my husband will come back to me and start begging, it really happen i was very surprise and very, very happy our relationship was now very tight and we both live happily again.
So my advice for you now is to contact this same email address abufatima77powerspellcaster@gmail.com or abufatima77powerspell@live.com call .+447053854830 if you are in any kind of situation concerning love issues and any other things that give you problems.+447053854830
THE ONLY TRUTHFUL SPELL CASTER AND MY GOD WILL REWORD YOU
Dr ODUBU brought back my lover when others spell caster failed ME, he is the best spell caster on planet earth.
I have contacted several spell casters to help me bring back my lover and after my ex he left me and my son for 2 yrs and moved in with another woman and all this spell caster they usually promise me and at the end fail me.
MY NAME,MISS GRAHAM’
2 weeks ago i was in the street of 148 summit ave jersey city nj and a lady was sharing this hand bill so i collected one and the content was about this spell caster that brought back her lover and also in the hand bill she said she is sharing the hand bill to raise awareness that there are still real spell casters and also as a way to thank the great spell caster.
before i meet this lady who shared the hand bill had already given up on spell casters because they only promise and fail so this faithful day when i meet this lady and read the content of the hand bill was like before a lady will share this hand bill on the street it means the spell really works so contacted him and after 24 hrs my whole story changed my husband who had left without any reason came back.
using this post as my own hand bill to tell people how great DR.ODUBU is and also to share his contact with the whole world.
his email {odubuspiritualtempledr@yahoo.com} AND I CAN NEVER FORGET THIS MAN ON EARTH.
THANK YOU.
HOW I RECORVER MY MONEY TRUE THIS SPELL CASTER
Hello friends.My name is WISE. I’m from from India but am based in Chicago.Been living in chicago for years now.I never believed in all spell casting.Have been scammed by many different people.I lost hope in them.My ex left me.I was devastated.I lost my job.My best friend saw my plight.Then he introduced me to Prophet ODUBU.Was told his work is free.Never believed until i got in touch with him.He did a spell for me. i recover all my money and My ex came back in less than 72hrs.I was recalled at my place of work.Was even promoted immediately.I couldn’t believe there is a real prophet out there who does free spells.I only paid in appreciation after the spell had worked.He doesn’t charge anybody until the spell has worked.You all shouldn’t be deceived by all these scammed that are here for money.prophet pillar doesn’t charge.You can only pay for the items the spell will worked.Try him and see what am saying.These are the few things he does
*HE BRING BACK LOST LOVERS IN 24hrs.
*REMOTE CONTROL OVER LOVERS.
*ALL TYPES OF SPELL CASTING & VOODOO WORKER.
* IS YOUR HEALER TAKING LONG TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS? THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE HELPED QUICKLY.
*GET RIDE OF ANY WITCHCRAFT, BAD LUCK & CURSES.
* EXPERT IN DISTANCE HEALING
*COURT CASES EVEN IF ONE IS CONVICTED[IF THERE’S A CHANCE OF APPEALING]
*IS SOME BODY JEALOUS WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
*UNFINISHED JOBS BY OTHER DOCTORS-IF NOT SATISFIED-COME TO ME.
*ARE YOU BEING FORCED INTO A DIVORCE?
*HE PREVENT BAD LUCK AND JEALOUSY.
*TO WIN HORSES AND GAMBLING.
*HE CAN STOP SOME ONE INTERFERING WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
* DO YOU WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN OF YOUR CHOICE
*DO YOU WANT QUICK MARRIAGE PROPOSAL?
*HE CAN CLEAN PEOPLE HOUSES,BUSINESSES AND PROPERTIES FROM BAD LUCK.
*DO YOU NEED EXCESSIVE SEXUAL POWER AND STRONG ERECTIONS.
* WOMEN, COME FOR THE TAMPON. IT WILL HELP YOU NOT TO LOSE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU SWEET, WARM AND TIGHT.
You can get in touch with him through THIS EMAIL ADRESS{ODUBUSPIRITUALTEMPLEDR@YAHOO.COM}OR YOU CALL ME ON THIS NUMBER +447012973504.
I am the happiest person on earth today because today My Seven years run away lover came back to me on his knees with tears on his eye begging me to please forgive him and accept him back, Dr.Grant a great Spell caster made this possible with the help of a spell. i saw his email address on the internet where a girl post on how Dr.Grant helped her so i decided to contact him and he told me that every thing will be fine and now i am happy because Dr.Grant is a man of his words because everything went well as he promised me. Are you having misunderstanding with your love or his your love seeing someone else? what is your problem that you which to solve? contact Dr.Grant today via email and every thing will be fine okay grantingheartdesiresspell@gmail.com.
My life is back!!! After 4 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our two kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted you and after I explained you my problem. In just 24hours, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr omon you are the best spell caster i really appreciate the love spell you casted for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again Dr Doctor Modudu at (worldwidesupremetemple@gmail.com).incase you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is
The next time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I do know it was my option to learn, but I truly thought youd have one thing interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you possibly can repair if you werent too busy searching for attention.
You are unfortunately a bitch
My boyfriend of two years left me for another girl because I accuse him of seeing another girl and since then i have been trying to get him but he refuse to come back to me, he was not responding to my call or email and he even unfriend me in face-book and he told me that he is done with me. i was searching on the internet for help and i saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so i decided to give it a try and i contacted him and i explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell for me and guarantee me of 3days that my ex will come back to me and to my greatest surprise the third day a great miracle fell on me and my ex come back to me on the third day and he beg me for forgiveness drdesmondspelltemple@gmail.com i will continue to publish his name because he is my Savior and we are about to get married.if you need him to help you Email drdesmondspelltemple@gmail.com…….. Mariam
I agree, it’s definitely the drive and motivation/personality which would lead to a breakup. If there was no motivation at all, and I couldn’t even do ANYTHING at all to help… then I would have to go to a therapy session if it’s REALLY getting that bad! To be honest if that was the case it would probably be something more serious than just weight gain… This is some serious stuff! great post!
Gaining a little weight won’t necessarily make me want to break up with my boyfriend. My greatest concern would be whether the weight gain would affect his personality and confidence.
But…….. if my partner gained toooo much weight, as in “obese/morbidly obese”, I would try to motivate him to work out and really watch his health. Since I’ve seen what obesity can do to a person in the hospital setting, I would not want to see my partner to go through such pain and have these health complications that were technically preventable. It would obviously lead to an emotional as well as financial strain in our relationship. I feel that I would be there to support him, but if in the end he decides not to change his unhealthy lifestyle, I would consider breaking up with him. It’s not all for superficial reasons per se. It’s more because I do want to be with someone that takes control of his life. With that said, I completely agree with your comment “For me the deal breaker is the drive. “
There are times when people don’t plan on gaining any weight, don’t want to gain weight, but it is unavoidable. I’ve known several people over the past few years that have had cancer, and they’ve gained 40 or 50 lbs due to steroids and medications. I don’t know how many posters think “that far ahead”. Something like cancer does not discriminate agains age, sex, religion, or whether one is thin or are already heavy. For those who have posted they would leave their significant other due to weight gain, it just seems like shallow statement. Really, if one is that worried about it, look at the family genetics and go up the family tree. Get a basic idea of what your future wife or husband is going to look like. However, know that sometimes life throws people a curve over which they have no control over. I don’t know. As I (and my friends) get older, there is definitely a shift in priorities and determining what is truly important in relationships. Weight may seem like a huge issue now, but in time these “weighty” issues may seem so pointless and insignificant. I do give posters credit for admitting weight issues though. It would be nice to communicate those feelings to the BF or GF before getting into a deep, serious commitment.
I think there’s a difference between weight gain due to medical conditions vs. laziness or overeating what have you. One needs to be handled with gentle support and love as they suffer through medications and treatments while the other could be handled with loving encouragement to help them btreak unhealthy addictions and get back in shape to live a healthy life.
I have actually been on one side of this personally, the one gaining the weight! When my boyfriend (of 3 year) and I started dating I was around a size 4-5. For many factors, including stress/anxiety, pressure, and a change in lifestyle, I ended up being a size 13 by the end of my senior year of highschool, about a year and a half into our relationship. I let the weight sit there for a while, and my self esteem began to drop dramatically. I consider myself extremely lucky, especially after seeing this statistic, because my boyfriend stuck by me. The past 8-12 months I have begun changing my lifestyle and working to lose the weight I gained. I’ve dropped from 164 at my heaviest, down to 135, my current weight. My boyfriend has done his best to encourage and support me, and we have even worked out together on occasion. You’re right when you say it can be a great, amazing, bonding experience. I recently hit a major goal, halving my jean size! We celebrated together and I really appreciate his admiration for me losing the weight, seeing as he’s never really struggled with it the same way. I hope men can see that, if you truly love someone, and they do want to make a change, that sticking by them can be the best thing you can ever do. 🙂
I feel like this is a great example of how a significant other should approach this dillema. When you get married you vow through the good times and bad and in sickness and health. I think even people who are seriously dating should consider these vows and how they would want to apply them long term.
Thanks heaps Cassey! 🙂 You are an inspiration, and so right about this! I totally agree 🙂
I agree with u, i’m 16 and i personally don’t care about the man’s look whether he is fat, ugly, short..etc. as long as he look clean, sophisticated and has a great personality! and i know that some girls are kinda the same as me
in the other side we all know that guys do really care about the look, specially body & that’s the reason why guys would prefer the hot body more than a pretty face as u recently said in one of ur facebook statues
anyhow i think it doesn’t mean that guys are shallow, that’s the males nature & that doesn’t also mean to give them an excuse to dumb their gf, if they really really love her they wouldn’t care about her weight unless it’s affecting her health & they would try to help her not dumb her
sorry about my broken English, i’m not native
As far as my boyfriend goes I don’t think he would ever really put on an excessive amount of weight just because of his body type and genetics. So that’s not a factor it’s all about how we are doing together as people (if you get what I mean?) And I also need to mention the fact that when I put on weight he was nothing but supportive. He still thought I was attractive but understood that I was not happy with myself and so he did his best to help me. He let me know that he loved me no matter what and still saw me as beautiful but did not sugar coat things and would mention it if my eating was totally out of whack. He took the best stance he could: he let me know that despite my own unhappiness with my appearance his view of me hadn’t changed but he did not ignore my feelings about myself. So I am very appreciative of him and love him so much.
But what I really wanted to mention was that I agree with the first commenter here. I read all the comments after hearing about people going crazy. And I have to say I saw people who I have never seen on the page. Not that that’s a bad thing to see new people but I have to wonder why I’ve never seen them before or again. They were obviously trolls only coming on to be negative. It actually was pretty upsetting to see that people would come in to our very positive community. I have never seen anything but positive energy in the Blogilates community and I find it completely shameful that people who apparently can’t find anything better to do with themselves felt the need to bring that kind of negativity into the community.
I would never dump my boyfriend if he gained weight. I don’t know how much “too much weight” is either, but then again, I’m positive he wouldn’t even gain too much weight in the first place because he’s in the military lol.
If someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend is packing on some pounds, I think it’s a great idea to work out together! It’s a very fun activity to do with the significant other and it’s very benefiting for each others future. Even if they both have to go slow at first, it’s better than doing nothing.
I don’t think one should be working out, while the other isn’t. Both of them should motivate each other to be healthier.. It doesn’t even have to be about working out, couples should motivate each other to do better in school, and to become better people.
I personally would not leave my partner regardless, but when asking him he said that if i gained a bit of weight 1-10lb it’d be fine, but any more and he’d probably leave because he’d find me physically less attractive. At first I was shocked, but I can understand, healthy relationships require some amount of physical attraction and sexual desire, if i gained 20lb I’d look a lot flabbier and probably have a lot less energy and stamina to engage in sexual activities, which would therefore put strain on our relationship, In the long run I understand why men would leave, but its still quite shocking to hear it from the horse’s mouth.
Everyone need to know of this great spell caster that brought my
boyfriend back to me within 48hours he took away all my years of
sadness in just 48 hours i am living with my boyfriend now in peace
and he treats me with so much respect. you can reach this great man
DR.EKPEN TEMPLE on his email: ekpentemple@gmail.com
Thanks for posting this, Cassey – really appreciate it. Thank you for all that you do!
Hi cassey,
I do agree w you. I m not any tantrum girl or supermodel or somethin’ who’l dump bf jus bcz he’s put on! Its ok if he’l put on a li’l. But yes that doesnt mean that i’l never try to get him into fitness, i’l keep motivatin’ him to stay healthy , to keep heart pumpin’ as it wud benefit him all through his life. Seeing him healthy will make me healthy obviously and that’s what i’l be seekin’ from him! I’l love him as always!! I m a one -man woman, ha ha!!
The nerve of some people..Really? So pathetic.
I agree completely with you though. If someone gained a few pounds that slightly changed their appearance that’s fine. If they gained many pounds though changing who they are that’s another thing. I’m the exact same way, “I need someone who is driven and will follow through with their goals.” Which thankfully my boy-friend is verry driven haha!
I’ve been happily married for over 25 years and have virtually the same figure I had in high school and college. It hasn’t been easy. Yes, some is genetic, but most of it has been a lot of hard work. Regular exercise and good, healthy eating. My husband has always yo-yo’d with his weight. Would I consider leaving him for gaining weight? Heck no. Have I tried, over the years and from time to time encouraged him to join me at the gym? Definitely. His job his hard, his commute is long, so it IS very hard for him. However, something finally hit home 18 mos ago, and he started going to the gym with me. Now we have true family nights where we ALL of us go to they gym, not just me and the kids. He has shed at least 80+ lbs by permanently altering his diet and regularly going to the gym. Do I love him any more by him being thinner? Don’t think I could love him any more or less because of his weight over the years. Yes, he looks really hot right now, but I’ve always thought he looked hot. He’s a good man whose attractiveness is not defined by his weight, although I sure am glad he has finally embraced the healthy lifestyle with no excuses. To put things in perspective, he was about 165 at 6’0″ when we got married. He probably weighed around 280 or 290 at his heaviest. Right now, he’s probably around 200, maybe a little less. Would he ditch me if I gained weight? No. Of course, he jokes that he already knew what I’d look like at 40, 50, and 60. He just looks at my mother and knew he’d be satisfied lol.
I found the FB comments interesting, but couldn’t tell the age of the commenters. Funny thing is, when I went to my 20th high school reunion, those thin, buff, studly high school guys? Well, some of them were downright pudgy and overweight. They had let themselves go. Ah…perhaps they have yet to experience karma. What goes around comes around.
Relationship-wise, yes, weight can have an effect on the relationship. When one is heavier and out of shape, they may not want to do things or as many things with their fit partner. My advice? Just go ahead and do them on your own. It doesn’t mean a heavy partner is loved less, but one still has to make themselves happy with things they enjoy and there are still lots of things to do together as a couple.
As much as I agree, in a way it can be offensive when you try to look your best and the person you’re with is a slob, and a lot of times that does feed into their personality too.
My husband said he’d still love me if I gained weight, as I would for him, but the thing is that neither one of us would gain a large amount weight anyway. A few pounds here and there, especially after my period I always bloat, but we wouldn’t just helplessly watch ourselves gain weight.
However, he’s become somewhat lazy. I don’t that he’ll complain about getting slightly out of shape (he still has a lean build) and then won’t even take my advice. He doesn’t have the energy to do things I like to do with me. Most of the things I like to do day to day are very active, and if your energy is low you just can’t do it.
But we both try to adjust to one another… I even stopped working out for a while but damn, shouldn’t have to do that.
I’m having the same problem with my boyfriend of three years. When we first started dating, I was the out of shape one and he was naturally thin and could eat total junk. Well, as we have progressed through our 20s, I have gotten my ass into gear, dropped a ton of weight and devote a decent amount of time and mental energy into taking care of myself. Unfortunately, BF never bothered to learn how to do any of this, and his metabolism is catching up with him and he’s gained probably 20 pounds. The weight gain isn’t the issue so much as the fact that he doesn’t seem to care to DO anything about it. It’s the laziness that drives me more insane than anything! What do I do?
Most of the guy commenters are trolls (checked out their Facebook, they have links to lewd/hooker stuff yuck!) I’d ban them as they are not contributing to the positive mood of the community. Keep things positive Cassey!