Why Women Think Aging is Ugly

My feed has recently been flooded with a ton of “old face” photos. Have you seen them? They’re pretty fun to look at! But I quickly noticed that nearly all of them being uploaded were being done so by only one sex…males.

Why? Well, the answer is simple. Our society has groomed us to desire younger looking women. Females are OBSESSED with all kinds of skin treatments and makeup tricks to make us look younger. Old women are considered expired and not sexy. Men on the other hand can still be desirable and hot when they’re older.

So I went ahead and downloaded Face App so I could post an old face pic in retaliation. I uploaded some photos of myself and played around with the filters. And…to my dismay – I reacted like society wanted me to. My honest initial reactions to my older self photos were “EEEEWWW!!! I look so ugly!” And “AHHHH my skin!” And “I CAN’T POST THAT!!!”

On the other hand, @samlivits did it to his pic and he thought it was really cool. The white hair. The extra wrinkles. The sagging skin.

How interesting is it that women can view aging as ugly, while men view every year they gain as another badge of honor?

Time to reshape the way we look at getting older. With every birthday, we gain more wisdom and more experience, therefore we should get more and more comfortable in our own skin. Let’s stop thinking that aging is ugly. I’m starting that convo by posting this old face transformation on my feed. Will you?

PS – On the topic of looking young though…eating whole, natural foods and exercising keeps you youthful and healthy from the inside out…so don’t ever stop that! Wear sun block. Drink water. Wash your face. Floss. And stay away from drugs, kids!

44 thoughts on “Why Women Think Aging is Ugly”

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  1. Ray M George says:

    They believe aging is ugly…..because it is…..anyone with eyes and a mirror knows this
    or do you think Bridget Bardot…..looks as good now as she did in 1960 ?

  2. Marcelle says:

    The most hurtful thing is when younger people judge you as being unattractive when your older even when you have a great figure no lines on your face and look younger than your age. And take very good care of yourself. Their are people who walk past put you down and don’t realise your 47 it’s like they want you to look old and not takecare of yourself. Females are always commenting and making snark comments about me in public and I feel it. It’s making me feel insurcure and they think they are better than me because they are younger. Maybe they are looks wise but I’m not going to dim my light to horrible females that put other mature women down. What more hurtful is that men our age run after these younger women and we are left lonely on the back bench because of the way society in general judges us superficially. It societies ignorance and lack of openmindedness to beauty that people need to be judge on.

  3. Bekah says:

    Its easy when you’re young to not fear ageing-I used to think I would age really well because I saw celebs aging well and I believed all the articles about all you need is sunscreen and moisturiser. How wrong I was! The celebs who are aging well get procedures done, they’re just good results, not wierd ones. You get sold all these snake oil moisturisers that do nothing to lift sagging skin, because that’s where they make their money. But the truth is that sagging is caused by stiff face muscles and or loss of muscle tone. You can do face yoga or face exercises for this (Renew Me Faceaeorobics on youtube is good), or use machines like Cleo Q. There are also massages (just google ‘face lifting massage.’ ) These little known secrets are actually way better for anti aging than the stuff you get bombarded with, but they are little known because theres less money to be made from them.

  4. Bekah says:

    Sorry, but I hate aging and looking old, and so do most women-thats just the way it is. I hate being preached at and told that this view is somehow wrong and that I should be ashamed of feeling this way, instead of getting sympathy and practical anti ageing tips. Why do we live in a society where we arent allowed to say anything negative about undesirable things anymore and are instead forced into pretending its all wonderful instead of being allowed to fix the actual problem thats making us feel bad. I for one will not go along with this gaslighting crusade.

    1. Jessica Greene says:

      Aging is a normal event, though. Why should we be ashamed of something normal? You also can’t “fix the problem,” either. You will continue to age, no matter what you do to yourself

      1. Patricia says:

        Lots of things are normal that are bad. Cancer is normal, doesn’t mean I don’t hate it.

  5. susanne says:

    Men have alot to do with how you feel..I’ve dated men who tell me how beautiful I am ..ask me to marry them..then one day they stop talking to me and send me a photo of them and their new woman and comment that she is younger…hotter and a better woman

    1. Jenn says:

      Exactly, because men don’t like aging females

      1. Arlene says:

        Unfortunately, this is True!

  6. Bekah says:

    I dont think it has anything to do with what society ‘wants’ us to feel. I think its down to pure biology and hardwiring. The reason that society is obsessed with beauty is because our brains are wired that way. No amount of wisdom and inner beauty can compensate for being tossed aside like trash by society. I hate agieng and always will and am not ashamed to get anti ageing treatments because quite frankly they are the only thing that make me feel better. I think women should be allowed to hate ageing if they want to -all this talk about it being wonderful and liberating just sounds like brainwashing to me

    1. Jessica says:

      Whether or not elders are respected in society is mostly cultural. There are societies in which elders are not looked down on

  7. Helena B says:

    I am 37 and I don’t consider myself even middle aged yet. Middle age begins at age 45 for everyone these days. I look fresh and youthful and no surgery either. I don’t want to look 16 I just want to look healthy and vital!!

  8. Sharlene says:

    I think it’s time to start new thinking with middle aged women. We are still beautiful I notice others beauty still and I’m sure men do as well too. We are no longer young and stupid for lack of a better term please embrace the stage your in knowing folks appreciate a lady who cares about herself at any age. Relationships and ways of relating mature with age. I’m so sick of this stupidity portrayed in the media that older men don’t find their age range attractive. Usually those men have issues and women their own age don’t want their ridiculous self let’s be real here you mature as normal or you don’t and have issues.

    1. Patricia says:

      Nah, us older women really are just less attractive. We are less attractive than we were, we are less attractive than current young people, and we will continue to get less attractive as men get more attractive, men who we were too good for when we are 20 are now way too good for us at our current ages.

  9. Audrey Davis says:

    Ditto…. So much for growing old gracefully…. Eating whole dood, drinking plenty of water and washing your face helps…

  10. Amanda says:

    I’ve literally turned into a troll in the matter of 5 years I do not even want to leave my house anymore it’s amazing what I do my photos I don’t even take pictures of myself anymore I use only old photos of myself it’s shameful I don’t even know what to do with myself anymore I don’t take pictures with my kids and that’s embarrassing to admit but I won’t do it I will not do it I don’t know what happened to my face in the past 5 years I’m a completely different person my smile is completely different everything is completely different I don’t smoke I don’t drink I don’t do drugs I do have Lyme disease but I don’t expect that that’s done to my face what it has I don’t know what it is but I am so unbelievably ugly I used to be such a beautiful woman I couldn’t stop staring at myself for years maybe that’s the problem maybe this is payback I don’t know

    1. Kate says:

      Dear Amanda, I got diagnosed with lyme disease almost two years ago, and know how you feel. I have a lot of tremors throughout my body, and my face too. The muscles in my neck and edge of my mouth tense up so much that it involuntary turns my head. I look at myself in the mirror and sometimes do not recognize my own reflection. But I focus on all of the things that I can do and have accomplished no matter how small they seem. So when I look in the mirror I focus on the determination in my eyes, and tell myself no matter how I look I love who I am, my family loves me, God loves me. And I am doing everything I can, to be a better me than I was yesterday. We may age, but I would not go to the past, because I have learned of how much strength people really have when they are challanged with terribly hard things. The next time you look at yourself in the mirror try to find the peace, determination, and hope in your eyes. I wish you the best, and know that you are never alone and that it’s your spirit that has the most beauty.

    2. Sharlene says:

      Please change your language and try to see at as a life change, you changed now you have to learn to make the best of what you got and stop being hard on yourselves. I’ve always believed in reinventing myself every 5 to 10 yrs. you may need to grow out your hair, wear different clothes but please believe that for many as we get older define beauty in a broader way and I’ve heard it from men also, and I tend to notice certain things I never noticed when younger on account of aging that I now find attractive. Please do not listen to media garbage. I use to work as a model and I’ll be the first to tell you it’s a set up from some creepy pencil pusher and we were incouraged to be our own brand of beauty not like others it’s the best thing you can do for yourselves. And also their are a million men who go thru that also and would like the understanding that you bring. Don’t let this issue stop you from letting people into your life and loving the real you.

    3. Bekah says:

      You could try face yoga- look up facearobics on YouTube- its free and has worked for many at lifting the face and restoring skin tone

    4. ibra says:

      I feel exactlly like you.I avoid goimg to functions .to events etc.I take baths with no light.I dont know how to dress anymore:-( I won many beauty pageants in my days now I cant stant looking at my face. Sometimes, a man approached me, if Im on my own but never when Im surrounded by younger woman. When I go anywhere, all I see is my reflection in windows and I run back fast at home :-(( I have a man, much younger than I’am.And I cant stoo wondering ” what does he sees in me?” Ive got no looks, no talents, no money
      I live in the fear that he will leave me for a younger woman.And I ll end up lonely on top of ugly.
      I did botox and it really helps. Yet im not young and never will be again. Beauty was power, fun, i felt so alive ..Now, young woman ,usually sales woman , average looking, who could never model, makes fun of me who used earned my living with my looks…. I see some woman my.age that I find beautiful, attractive and still can turn heads.sadly Im.not one of them.Sometimes, I thinl about going to a psy, but for what? spemd time and money to hear the same pep talk I can read onagazine for free?

      1. Bekah says:

        Yes-this is a NORMAL and perfectly natural experience for women, and yet when you google ‘I hate looking old’ all you get are articles telling you how you should embrace it and not feel bad, which are quite frankly, patronising and unhelpful. We should not be made to feel guilty for how we feel.

    5. Bekah says:

      Yeah I know how you feel-no amount of being told that this is a ‘wonderful new phase of life’ can compensate for that awful feeling when you see your once beautiful face in the mirror now looking saggy and ugly. No matter what people say or how they want to tiptoe around and sugar coat it with platitudes about inner beauty and wisdom, its 100% natural to loathe the decay and deterioration that comes with ageing

  11. zazzlezebra says:

    You look pretty in both! LOL you look like me! I’m almost 53 and I know I’m not ugly 🙂 You’re right though; exercise, eating right, and skin and teeth care sure help. ~Christi 🙂

  12. Ommie says:

    thankkk u sooo much Cassy, im still a teenager but I think it will give a lot of confidence to at of people, especially when a celebrity talks about it.

  13. Do you personally feel like you’re old? I’m not worried about it now but I think in a few years I might be!

  14. Sarah Merz says:

    Sorry, I’m from Germany and my English is not so good.
    I have, never had and (believe) will never have problems with aging, because that’s natural and we all do it every time. However the only grand way is too let it happens and be proud, because all this aesthetic surgerys, botox, and other chemicals, drugs, medical operations always deform people, so they looking like plastic dolls (barbie) and are much more uglyer than ever. For example: Silvester Stallone, Meg Rien, Mickey Rourke, Jocelyn Wildenstein, Cameron Diaz, Daryl Hannah, etc.pp.
    And last but not least the worriest fact is that anybody of them neither looks younger nor better or like her-/himself.
    Now the two pictures on top I really can’t find anything ‘ugly’, I see the little differences but that’s all and not badly or dramatic…
    AT the moment I’m 37 years old, but most people give me 26 and I’m feeling young and fit enough and that is the only important thing!

    1. Maria says:

      yeah 37.. just wait until your 55 and have wrinkles and sagging skin. Oh try a downturned mouth that makes you look sad also. f off

      1. Helena B says:

        Sadly 37 is considered “middle aged” to most men under 60 these days. Even my own husband looks at other younger blonder women now I’m approaching 40. It sux.

  15. Erin Callahan says:

    Can I just say that the aged version of you here looks like Michelle Yeoh. Both you are beautiful no matter the age.

    1. Sarah Merz says:

      Sorry, I’m from Germany and my English is not so good.
      I have, never had and believe will never have problems with aging, because that’s natural and we all do it every time. However the only grand way is too let it happens and be proud, because all this aesthetic surgerys, botox, and other chemicals, drugs, medical operations always deform people, so they looking like plastic dolls (barbie) and are much more uglyer than ever. For example: Silvester Stallone, Meg Rien, Mickey Rourke, Jocelyn Wildenstein, Cameron Diaz, Daryl Hannah, etc.pp.
      And last but not least the worriest fact is that anybody of them neither looks younger nor better or like her-/himself. And on the pictures I Can’t find something ‘ugly’, I see the little differences but that’s it…
      AT the moment I’m 37 years old, but most people give me 26 and I’m feeling young and fit enough and that is the only important thing!

  16. Aubree says:

    I had the same reaction to seeing myself old! I felt so bad because I KNOW that’s what society groomed my reaction to be. I’m working on that 😅

  17. Hurob wh says:

    Men also think same and it is true people usually look ugly in old age.

  18. corrina yu says:

    your right im turning 34 this year cant believe it. still feel like im in my 20 still

  19. FeelsabadTRUE says:

    I’m a man and I look ugly when I get older

  20. Emily Vandagriff says:

    So thankful for this post! We need to re-rain people to realize getting older isn’t bad: rather it gives wisdom, discretion and grace. I want to “age well” emotionally and spiritually. Age doesn’t define people, attitude and character does 😀

  21. Adrienne Dolan says:

    You still look great in the “old” picture. Let’s age like Disney villains but without the Snow White envy. 😄

    1. Bekah says:

      But Snow White is a great example of how hypocritical Hollywood is-they portray the young beautiful woman as a saint, simply because she is young and beautiful, but the older woman who hates getting older is cast as the most selfish and morally bankrupt villain out there. They idolise someone for being beautiful, then demonise them when they try to attain that standard. The average woman on the street who gets botox doesnt go around killing people to stay young, yet this is exactly how film and TV portrays every single older woman who wants to look young, as if this desire to feel good about herself is the worst evil she could sink to. I have never once seen a sympathetic portrayal of an older woman wanting to look young. The hypocrisy of an industry that demands women be young and beautiful, then demonises them for trying to attain this is unbelievable!

  22. Allison says:

    Ageism is a horrible issue for women especially in the entertainment industry. I see and feel it in my life too. I don’t want to get any older. It does bother me alot. I know I shouldn’t feel this was bit I guess it’s hard wired into me.
    We should be celebrating every new wrinkle or fine line that appears. Instead including me we want filler, Botox & make-up to hide it. I’m in the middle. I want to celebrate it & hide it. Hopefully that will change over time. 😔

    1. Bekah says:

      But thats just it- people want to pretend that looks dont matter but they do for a lot of careers- do you think Madonna would get asked to perform at big events if she looked her true age? There’s no doubt about it, ageing can ruin careers. And it isnt so much the media thats to blame- the ordinary man on the street treats midfle aged women with indifference or downright disdain. There are real, life altering consequences for careers and relationsips here.
      So what if a woman hates aging and gets surgery? If it makes her happy and improves her life( like so many surgery testimonials show) she shouldn’t be shamed or called vain and shallow. Society is so hypocritical- it demands that you be beautiful, then ridicules you when you try to live up to this demand

  23. Oh man, you totally hit the nail on the head with this! I tried it out but I was horrified, and it’s so true- we have been conditioned to view ageing and older women as unattractive and irrelevant, as if a women’s whole reason for being in the world is to look good for others… I wish I knew how to shift this mindset!

  24. Chelsea Fletcher says:

    I love this post. It’s so true that even in our twenties, we worry about that stuff. I mean, it’s not bad to want to take care of our bodies and our skin for later. But the problem is when we will feel bad about ourselves simply about getting older.
    You look beautiful in both photos! God bless! <3

  25. Resistance says:

    I agree, also wearing sunscreen every day is one of the best things you can to slow sown skin aging

    1. Maria says:

      I wore sunscreen every day starting in late teens, but at 55, I am very wrinkled and ugly.

      1. Bekah says:

        Try face yoga- it can work wonders!