The other day my husband, Sam, said that he’s really happy with everything we’ve accomplished and that he’s content being exactly where we are. I felt peaceful…for a moment.
But then, I RUINED it.
The overachiever part of me said “But there’s still so much more to achieve!!! I’m nowhere near where I want to be!”
Yet, if Cassey 10 years ago could see where she was today, she wouldn’t believe her eyes. Cassey today has an adoring husband, a cute fluffy dog, and runs 3 different businesses. Reading that aloud, it really was and IS my dream come true. But why can’t I just stop and be happy?
I blame my personality.
I like to keep striving, keep going, keep trying, no matter how many times I fall and no matter how hard it is. I want to always do better…because I know I can! Achievements are one of the things that brings me genuine happiness and motivation. My overachieving trait has gotten me exactly to where I am today…but it’s also what leaves me feeling unsatisfied a few minutes after I accomplish something.
Kinda sad huh?
Weird how life balances you out like that. This is something I need to figure out. Like…how important is accomplishing something to completing my sense of wholeness? 🧘♀️I sometimes wish I could be fully content with what I have instead of always wanting more.
What brings you wholeness?
18 thoughts on “Why it’s hard for overachievers to be happy…”
There are 18 comments posted by our users.
I used to be such an overachiever – but not in a healthy way. I would spin my wheels (physically and mentally) trying to achieve what I thought was the next “thing” for me. That’s how I marked my life; by my achievements and that alone. Not my own happiness or satisfaction. To get away from that, I started trying to enjoy moments with people more, and overexerting myself to get praise less. But I think I’ve swayed too far in the other direction. I think I’ve become too complacent, which may not be a bad thing, but I’ve never tried to navigate life without arbitrary goals before. Now I feel like Baloo from the Jungle Book… but like….not in a good way? Haha, I’m saying I think there is a balance. Hoping to find it one day!
I have such a hard time being satisfied and celebrating my wins too! It’s easy to start dreaming up even more things to overcome and achieve. Ugh, haha.
You are an amazing woman and I think as you said in some videos, you have to be proud of yourself and don’t blame your personality beacuse without it you wouldn’ t have accomplished anything. I think that you should work on building an stronger mindset, by reading certain books about emotional intelligence and watch videos of Anthony Robbins and as I said before you should never forget that you are a wonderful person.
Cassey, you are an amazing, strong, open and motivating person. You have helped so many people achieve contentment with themselves. There is nothing wrong with wanting more. Happiness is temporary and comes in waves. I think it is amazing that you are striving for more. There may come a time in your life when you will slow down and stop rushing to achieve that next goal. I, on the other hand, wish I were more like you! Goal oriented! I am definitely much older than you and I am content with “My homebody” ways. It takes all types of personalities to make life interesting, and although you may not always be content and want more…you touch soooooo many lives and I find it a privilege being allowed into your world. Thank you for inspiring this 60 year old and for helping me to push on with becoming a stronger ME!!!! I love you Cassey, stop beating yourself up!!! You are an amazing role model!
I feel the same way! The summer after I finished school I had a long summer ahead of me, all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted, but I was unable to relax because I had nothing planned for next September. Every summer before I had been able to relax and have fun, since I knew I would soon be working towards my future next term. Now I felt uneasy. The only way I could cope was by challenging myself with online courses and Blogilates workouts (thank you! I came here to download the August calendar, in fact). I have since enrolled in university, and find it much easier to be content when I am working towards something, even though by now I know that getting to the finish line, or rather, having what I’m working for, won’t make me happy. What will make me happy is being proud of myself and the journey getting there. That’s what I find, anyway.
And even now I’m trying to start an etsy shop lol.
Hey Cassey! I have been following you for years and I love your work. I saw this post and your post on youtube and I’m sad to hear that you feel this way! you bring joy to literally millions of lives – when you focus on that, nothing else matters! i’ve watched your videos early in the morning and late at night across the globe when i need to get a good workout in and you’ve always brought a smile to my face and joy to my day (or night!). It’s simply not worth it to be stuck in comparison mode – life is so short and you’re making incredible impact! keep going woman! we need you and we’re all rooting for you <3
It’s totally normal to feel that way! Because nobody really wants to be static. I think u’re constantly looking for more growth and it is a good thing. Just that probably you can learn to embrace and enjoy each accomplishments a little bit longer. But just because you’re looking for “what’s next”, doesn’t mean ure unsatisfied. It’s the creativity in you that’s always looking for more things to create! Chin up okay! ❤
I love your question, What brings you wholeness? It’s scary acknowledging that you don’t, in fact, feel whole, so be proud of your self awareness and courage girl! For me, going to church and listening to worship music takes away my stress and brings me a joy and calmness. Praying to Jesus, trusting in his power, and asking him to guide my life so that it will bring love to others and glory to him, gives me a sense of purpose. If you aren’t open to learning more about Jesus or having faith in a higher power, no worries Cassey! Maybe you will feel more joyful and open to those new things through volunteering and helping people directly. It doesn’t have to be fitness related – you have kindness that can be shared with others even in something as simple as serving food at a homeless shelter 🙂 Take time to self reflect on how you can help others, and I promise you will feel like you have more purpose 🙂 Good luck, and thank you for being such an inspiring health role model! Been doing your videos since 2012 and I teach as a POP instructor so I am very thankful for your videos 🙂
You can always have ambitions and goals, but also practice contentment! When I chose to have my son, I didn’t want to feel like I was settling. I had had some awesome jobs and opportunities to travel. So I felt content in a place to give up it being all about me. And God opened more doors since I chose the path of selflessness and family. More love, MORE fitness opportunities, MORE Travel than I even imagined with a child. And all the love, so much more self worth. It’s all about letting go of society standards, exhausting and unnecessary keeping up with the Jones ‘ mentality. And embracing where you are, trusting thst the universe continues to hold you, and guide you to amazing things. Yoga practice has build a lot of confidence in me, and as a Yoga teacher I strive to remind people of the messy, beautiful life, that is the fountain of youth. Enjoying the journey, releasing the ego and over stress, staying excited and ambitious, but also from a place of love and faith, rather than working up the endless ladder that leads to no where truly worth reaching. 🙏
Hi Chelley, great advice! I’ve been wanting to start a family but was also afraid of losing the good life I have now. Your comment is very helpful. Indeed I want to selfless and experience that wonderful love! thank you <3
Being grounded is important for happiness. I find joy in living my faith and when I serve others. If you find yourself feeling down, or life “serves you a lemon, make lemonade” and serve someone else who’s trials seem greater than yours. You’ll discover more of yourself by losing yourself in the service of others. 😊 And I just saw another comment stating the importance of being content which is also another way of being grateful. 🥰
I think it’s okay to argue that a person can be content and still wish to achieve more. Contentedness is sometimes misinterpreted as being similar to complacency. If you are content, the lie goes, then you won’t want any more than what you’ve got. You’ll stop striving, stop achieving, become apathetic, and never make any more progress. But being content does not mean that a person’s life or accomplishments are done. Being content simply means being happy and satisfied with what you currently have. (In other words, not being jealous or envious of what other people have, and therefore discontent with your own lot in life.) You can be 100% content, and still want to make more progress. Maybe someone is content with running the first mile in the race, and then they’ll be just as content with mile two, and three, and so on. Wanting to move forward and create new achievements doesn’t mean you aren’t happy or fulfilled! We sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that wanting more means we aren’t grateful for what we already have. But I think nothing could be further from the truth. Be content, and then you can often find the desire and resolve to strive for more. It is perfectly human, and perfectly admirable.
(Excuse my English) I can relate to your sentiment on such a deep level…Although I just turned 22 yesterday, I’ve already accomplished so many things at such a young age. From always being an honor student, getting admitted to my college of choice, studying abroad in Europe, having an outstanding GPA and still managing to get 8 hours of sleep and maintain good friendships, I can’t help but feel extremely lucky and grateful. However, I just feel like something is missing. It’s like I have this thirst I cannot quench. I’ve had so many of my friends tell me how they wish they were like me and how great my life is but truth is most of the time I feel bored and like I’m used to things turning out the way I want them to which is funny. I’ve even wondered if something will ever go wrong, if I’ll ever not get something. It may sound ungrateful but I guess I just wish there was a little bit of chaos from time to time to make things a bit harder and more challenging hahaha
In a similar boat as you Ingrid, I’m 23. I have accomplished a good amount of things academically and experience-wise. But I want to do so much more, to the point that I’m not even sure what that is. I don’t know what it means to practice contentment right now. I have gotten complacent to the point of laziness, that I fear being content. I don’t want to be very satisfied in the space I’m in because I still want to go so much further.
I’ve gotten complacent to the point of laziness in the past* that I fear being content
Thank you for being so real Cassey! There will always be something more to achieve in life and, as human beings, we can never be satisfied/happy. However, you get to experience this fulfillment from doing what you extremely LOVE and helping so much people. I think this fulfillment is more longer-lasting and meaningful than happiness which can be transient. You are truly blessed, inspirational, and dedicated Cassey! You bring so much happiness and health to this world, and this alone is so legendary!