December 10, 2017
Last night I attended the Unforgettable Gala which is basically the “Oscars” of the Asian American community. I was really excited to get ready for the red carpet and wear this new dress I got just for the event! I was feeling super good about myself…until…I got there.
Looking at this photo, you’d think I was feeling calm, confident and in control. But the truth is, tonight I let my insecurities take me to a place of self criticism. Surrounded by so many gorgeous Asian American women who were actresses, models, and pageant queens – I looked at them, then at me, and saw what I always saw growing up – I’m the “bigger” Asian girl.
I don’t have the naturally thin body type that many girls of my heritage are born with. I mean who cares right!? I gotta own what I’ve got! But to be 100% honest with you, even fearless role models will slip up from time to time. They may not tell you, but I’m telling you. And tonight was one of those nights.
Eventually Sam was able to help pull me out of this pitiful hole, reminding me how beautiful he thought I was. And he didn’t just do it yesterday. He has done it everyday…from the day we started dating til now, over 9 years later. I’m so thankful to have him by my side as my partner, as my rock.
Sometimes you lose sight of everything you already have and start focusing on what you don’t have. That’s when you need to shift your perspective and find gratefulness.
The reality is…my non-thin body has taken me to where I am today and I wouldn’t have it any other way!