Why I’ll give myself a deadline…but not an expiration date.

Hey guys,

One of the things that keeps me always striving to accomplish my goals is my habit of setting deadlines. Setting a due date for myself gives me the structure I need to push myself forward. It puts me in a “no excuses” mindset to GET. THINGS. DONE.

Plus the feeling of making a to-do list and then getting to check the items off as I go is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world! I mean, right!?

I’ve been goal planning since I was a kid. I had big dreams and I wasn’t going to let anyone or anything stop me from making them happen! I knew I wanted to have an impact on the world. I knew I wanted to be a fashion designer. I knew that one day I’d be the CEO of my own company.  
The crazy thing is…because I never gave up, those things are happening RIGHT NOW. I kept trying. I kept pushing. I kept setting goals and CRUSHING THEM. And I am so grateful every single day that I get to live my dream.

However, of course, there are things I wanted so bad that never happened. Things that I “expired” out of.

Growing up, one of my biggest dreams was to be named Top 25 Under 25 by one of those business magazines – like Forbes. Inc., or Entrepreneur. As I crept closer and closer to 25, I felt more pressure (from within) to hurry up and start making a name for myself! I applied every year that they opened up applications. But I never heard back from any of the editors. 

When I turned 25, I felt like I had done something wrong. Like I was a failure. Like I was too old and too unsuccessful. I started doubting myself. Like, was anything I had accomplished thus far even any any good? Sigh.

Do you see the problem here? I was letting someone else tell me what the definition of success was supposed to looked like. I was letting a publication who didn’t even know me dictate the definition of everything I wanted to be. I was letting a stranger control my happiness and my “shelf life”. And you know what? That’s absolutely absurd! 


If you’re feeling any pressure right now to be someone or do something by a certain age, I urge you to stop feeling like you’re going to run out of time. You’ve gotta watch “The Expiry Date” by SKII. It’s all the feels.

This video illustrates the intense pressure for Asian women to get married by the age of 30. If you don’t have a husband by then, you’re considered too old, unwanted, and no good. And the worst part is, just by being born a girl, you’re ALREADY considered a burden to your family. In the Asian culture, boys are typically seen as more valuable than girls.

Luckily for me, my parents did not pressure me to get married by a certain age. BUT they did intensely pressure and scare me into a career path I did not want for myself. In both cases, the parents are trying to secure financial stability for their children. Now that I am older, I see their intention. However, that doesn’t make the shaming and the judging okay. Not by our parents and definitely not by society. I loved Chloe Bennet’s interview talking about the topic.

You’re never too young, too old, or too ANYTHING to do ANYTHING! I want you to keep being you regardless of what other people think. Not to be morbid, but I suppose the only expiration date we have is the one that is engraved into our tombstone. But even then, you can still leave a forever impact on this world if you live positively, passionately, and choose to serve others.



46 thoughts on “Why I’ll give myself a deadline…but not an expiration date.”

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  1. shambhu ghosh says:

    i wants to know my dead line

  2. YourFriendlyNeighbourhoodLesbian says:

    I agree

  3. Domingez says:

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  4. Helen says:

    Hi Cassy,
    Just wanted to request that you make a video explainingg PCOS because I recently found out I have it and many other women do too. It’s really discouraging and difficult to deal with. So an you please explain how we should eat to loose weight and gain control over PCOS.
    Thank you for being such an inspiration, you literally make my day!!
    Love Helen

  5. Het congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Fat or slim, it doesn’t really matter as long as you are fit and have immunity against most common diseases. Body positivity is to be associated with individual choices, rather than social norms.

  6. Angelica says:

    Oh. My GOSH, Cassey. I LOVE THIS BLOG. Right now I’m having a college dilemma, where I was previously hemmed in–and then internalized my own prison–so that I missed many opportunities for improving the quality of my life earlier in the game. However, I know I’m on the right path–if I hadn’t had these experiences, I wouldn’t be so sick of it now, that I cannot tolerate settling for less-than-okay circumstances.

    I am now on the verge of coming into my own timeline, following my artist’s passion. I may take a gap year from college in order to open more opportunities for myself. (It’s. Terrifying.) But the most terrifying thing about it–which I haven’t been able to properly conceptualize into words until reading your blog, haha, is that I’ve been operating under the notion that I DO have an expiry date. That, at a certain age, not having a degree by then would mean that my education has been faulty. That I haven’t been able to do the things at a certain time like SO many other students. I’m scared. I keep believing that not being where other people are means I’m inherently worthless.

    But I’ve been doing the same thing you were–I kept letting not getting into high-end colleges impact my self-esteem, and the totality of my worth and potential. But it’s now that I’m stepping up to the plate to try again–to try other things.

    I’m more than where I am, at my age. I’m more than what I made life mean about me. I’m not a failure. I’m not too ANYTHING to do anything. I can do anything. Everything.

    This has been so motivational and most of all, inspirational–truly.

  7. Kelly says:

    I am a fitness instructor myself. I am incredibly picky about the classes I attend and the instructors I will follow. I have been watching your videos off and on FOR YEARS. I absolutely ADORE your personality. I hope that you don’t let negative people get you down. EVER. Some of the BEST advice I ever recieved from my teacher was “some people are going to like your class. some people arent. NO BIG DEAL”. Dont change. People dont see you how YOU are, people see you how THEY are. <3

    1. Melody Gardner says:

      Yes! This. ;->

  8. Shannon says:

    I have always seen comments like this literally EVERYWHERE. Finally, somebody takes the thoughts right from my mind and puts it into a nice cohesive blog. Thank you for everything Cassey 🙂

  9. Maia says:

    Yesssss! People like that are either misunderstanding the situation or are the modern bullies who are just looking for something to pick on, hiding behind the facade of being politically correct, smh.

  10. Rosie says:

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Cassey, I love your videos because they help me to stay both mentally and physically healthy and I don’t feel pressure to be someone other than who I am. I’m totally using the bridal bootcamp videos to get ready to be a confident bridesmaid next week. Exercise isn’t just about how a person looks. It’s about how they feel! I feel like you put that message across all the time by talking about how these workouts are intended to make us feel strong and confident, not necessarily to make us the skinniest people in the world. Thank you for being here despite other peoples’ cruelty on social media.

  11. Angela says:

    I cannot tell you how many times I see people commenting on someone’s transformation photos that they “like the before pic better.” SERIOUSLY?? Body positivity is not about staying the same just to prove that you love yourself. If you have the power to improve your health, why would it ever be a bad thing to make changes to your lifestyle to meet those goals? Yes, a lot of people make changes because they don’t like their bodies the way they are, but so many others, like Cassey, are accepting of their bodies at every step of the process, and that doesn’t mean they have to stop trying to reach their goals. Cassey was also horribly shamed a few years back for gaining weight, which I think proves that she is willing to love her body above all else. She allowed her mind to heal from the extreme world of bikini competitions, and loved her body through the weight gain regardless of the haters. Now that she has a special day that she wants to look and feel her best, people think that she suddenly doesn’t love her body and that being a bride means having to make changes. She’s literally always made workout videos for looking like a Victoria’s Secret model, or getting that beach body, or feeling confident showing your arms and legs. Why is it suddenly a problem that she made a series specifically for brides? Regardless, people will always take things too far, so Cassey, I hope you ignore these people who think loving their bodies means they can stop trying to be healthy. Bottom line, having goals doesn’t equal hating your body.

  12. Leslie says:

    How is bridal bootcamp any different than any other series? Don’t understand where those comments would be coming from. Cassey says over and over in the videos that it’s not about looking a certain way but feeling your best on your wedding day or any other day! Plus, you just need a good workout to destress during wedding planning…it’s STRESSFUL! I needed bridal bootcamp when I was engaged to keep my own sanity! Cassey’s bridal advice would have helped me a lot! Cassey always has the best advice and questions for self-reflection. Social media can be so draining, sometimes I have to go on total social media detoxes just to regroup. Keep it up Cassey!!! I’m about to go do Happily Ever After Abs and make my husband join in too…Muahahaha!

  13. Amanda says:

    People just want something to complain about. Lets face it, in the general way of things, people as a whole like to complain. Look at this feed of comments though, so much positivity (is that a word?)!

    People here are like that because this is a sought out space, a place to go on purpose. People are inspired by your body positive attitude.

    When someone complains, it makes them feel like the problem isn’t them, it’s the person they are complaining about. It’s a twisted way to feel better at someone else’s expense.

    On the surface, no one likes that behavior, but I am sure every person has done so at least once in their lives if we are honest with ourselves.

    Just continue being the positive and wonderful person you are, and those who want to, will follow suit.

  14. Joana says:

    I agree with you Casey.
    Any form of taking care of your body, be it by losing weight or not IS body positive. You wanting to take care of yourself to look your best is what body positivity is all about, is loving yourself in all your forms and working for that self-love. This does not make you a hypocrite if anything makes you truthful to who you are and what you are teaching us with your videos, that we are worth it.
    You’re amazing Cassey, keep going strong.

  15. Alicia says:

    Cassey, people will always talk and no matter what you do, you can’t please everyone. OMG! Not even God could please everyone – that’s why our world is so messed up. Love what you do, keep the positive vybz, work like a beast and look like a beauty. It’s YOUR wedding, and you are sharing positive, wholesome tips with others. There are persons who have issues (self esteem and otherwise) that you can do nothing about. Let them talk! Just continue being the success that you are. I don’t know how they can get the message that you don’t like your body. I believe it’s BECAUSE you like your body that you want to keep it beautiful and at it’s optimum. And just like we keep improving our character, our body is no different. Keep it up! Love you chica!

  16. Lou says:

    I love the Bridal Bootcamp series, even though I’m not a bride to be. I find them motivational and inspirational, not body negative in any way. Just as Cassey says: it’s posible to love your body but at the same time wanting to become even stronger. For me, it’s the same with jobs and other goals in life – you can love what you do and be happy, but still wanting to try something new or push yourself to experience new things. I hope that everybody finds joy and happiness in life and within themselves, we all deserv it! <3

  17. Berlyn says:

    I love you so much Cassey!! You make such a gorgeous bride. I am thankful you are in my life :*

  18. saradianerainey says:

    Thank you so much for this post.

  19. Molly says:

    A friend of mine got married this past weekend. She has always been petite and in shape but was working out harder before her wedding. I and other friends rooted her on the whole way. I’m starting to realize these people are posting these negative comments because they don’t actually know you. I would asked them, would you say these comments to Casseys face? Would you say them to your friends? Probably not. They hide behind a screen and put other people down to feel better about themselves. Social media has some amazing positives but it can also be toxic for many people. We are all free to do what we want with our own bodies without input from anyone else.

  20. Rachel says:

    What about people who have better moods when working out? I could imagine wanting to getting in those mood boosters leading up to your happy day!

  21. Anne says:

    Thanks for sharing Cassey! There’s definitely nothing wrong in wanting to look and feel healthier and glowing on your special day. And I’m just gonna point out the elephant in the room here that while its fantastic to embrace your curves and love your body, in no way do I think a promotion of obesity or being overweight is a healthy thing. And I don’t think its right for people to impose those thoughts on others. You do you, and I think you look fantastic! I really enjoyed the Bridal bootcamp even though I’m not a bride. All the best!

  22. marion says:

    could not be truer!!! what i’ll never understand is why there’s a difference between working out in general and working out before a wedding. if you’re going to complain about bridal bootcamp and how it’s body shaming then what do you have to say about working out in general? if all of a sudden working out is bad then these people have no business trying to follow a pilates instructor (working out is her job, not giving a sermon about how to love your fat rolls). i’ll never understand why people have to complain about everything, good or bad 🙁

  23. Meghan says:

    I totally understand where you are coming from and I appreciate that you always talk about being “strong” rather than “skinny.” I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to feel strong and have lots of energy on your wedding day. However, knowing the struggles you went through with the bikini competition and knowing that many of your followers probably have experienced something similar, I think it is important to keep driving home the idea that people should approach these milestone events in a healthy way. Maybe that’s what some of the commenters were trying to get at (even if their delivery was unkind at times)? As someone who has had an eating disorder and an unhealthy relationship with working out, I know that an obsession with looking great and feeling confident for a certain event can lead to an obsession with eating less and less and working out more and more. I know you do try to encourage people to approach exercise and wellness with a healthy mindset, but maybe it would help if you could just emphasize more in your posts about your bridal workouts that people should make sure that they set healthy goals. I do love your energy and have enjoyed following your career over the years- you are such a great influence, but I think we can all always grow from talking with others who may disagree with us if we do it kindly! 🙂

  24. Brandy Bear says:

    Well, for me you’re one of the most body positive people I know, and that’s why you are loved. You never say lose weight, diet etc. You always talk about the way exercise makes you feel and the attitude and confidence one can gain and you never harp on how anyone should look or how much they should weigh. I personally learned from you is OK to take a day at a time and just learn to love the way the body works. I am doing the bridal calendar and loving it. I have been married 30 years and totally agree…love yourself and your body in all your phases and that includes all the changes and the evolutions it goes through. Damn straight being body positive while also transforming it are not mutually exclusive.
    Of course one wants to feel and look special on their wedding day!
    And if they don’t, they shouldn’t even be looking twice at your workouts.
    Getting fit is a choice, theirs.
    I know that reading all your social media is part of your business, but here is a small similar story i’d like to share.
    I run a bed and breakfast and have for 25 years. It is my love. When trip advisor etc first started it brought the new Era of reviewing with it. I used to read all my reviews on trip advisor and booking dot Com etc. If someone said something negative i would agonize over it and how to change things etc and work myself into a right state. If they said great things i agonized that others would book and arrive with preset expectations i couldn’t meet as this business is so subjective and what you love another might hate. I started to lose the joy and to feel like it was a job. ..all the light went out so my husband said “from now on you aren’t allowed to read any more reviews. ..you did your best before and hoped people enjoyed it without knowing so just keep on doing that, it’s impossible to please everyone all the time anyway” so for a couple years i have no longer read any reviews, and my love of my work is completely intact.
    You probably don’t have the luxury, but remember there are more of out here loving on you than not, so although it goes against human nature, choose to focus only on the positive.

  25. Lea says:

    I love this post! Just do what makes you feel good, there will always be people who don’t like it but at least this way you feel good yourself!:) That is at least what i experienced and want to do and this blog post reminded me of it again.😊

  26. Rebekah says:

    I have to agree with this. I’ve never haf to deal w/ being fat shamed simply because of the body type I have, I’m tall and skinny. Recently I decided that I would rather be tall, healthy and fit. That didn’t go over well with some of my bigger friends as well along with certain acquaintances. The more I began to workout the more they would say that I was trying to shame them, and make them feel inferior, for no reason other than I decided to put work into my own body. In a way it helped me to see who were and were not my friends. I believe that body shaming has moved into the realm of personal perspective rather than actual fact now. When your talking to two women girl A who works out, and girl B who might be a bit on the heavier side, and then you compliment or ask about the fitness routine of girl A and that offends girl B something is wrong. We are all at different points with our bodies, we as women can’t allow ourselves to feel inferior to another woman just because she has in our minds a “better body” than us.

  27. Ann says:

    Yes!! I love this. Our bodies change over time, sometimes because we try to make that happen, and sometimes unintentionally. It is great to love our bodies at all points of the process.

  28. Kiko says:

    I’m so glad you’re addressing this. This is something I’ve been thinking for so long, but you’re a much louder voice than I am on social media. For real girl, thank you. Anyone can find it within themselves to look in the mirror and see beauty. Whether they are on a fitness journey or not! You are ALWAYS allowed to love your body. Too skinny, too fat, too fit, too curvy, too in the middle that you don’t know what to call yourself? YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LOVE YOURSELF.

  29. Selena says:

    Wow, this is truly an amazing message Cassey! I’m tearing up because this is so relatable since I graduated from college last summer, and now I feel like I can motivate myself to be myself and stop letting others mold me to the person they want me to be. Thank you for the post!

  30. Mistralka says:

    I want to change my thinking to that. I wanted to have my first child at 25 max, but I’ll be turning 25 this year and I can see it won’t happen any time soon. I’m with a man for over 7 years but he’s not ready for kids. We live together with my grandma at her place. We can’t afford our own appartment. I’m between jobs. Everything’s so messed up and it’s obviously not the right time for even thinking about kids. I just feel I won’t have the strength and will to be a mom when I’m nearing 30…

    1. Kyra says:

      My mom had me in her 40s- 30 is definitely not too late to have kids 🙂

  31. Csestak says:

    This is amazing!!! I am lucky to say I have not felt pressure by society or my parents in my career path. However, I am not nearly where I would like to be! I wonder if I received pressure I would be closer to where I want to be? Maybe pressure is a blessing in disguise? Hmm…
    Anyway, Thank you for posting this! This is really inspiring! I love your posts and your blogs!

  32. Crystal says:

    Hey Cassey,
    My name is Crystal and I have been a fan and participant of Pop Pilates since 2011. I turned 42 yesterday and have 8 children. My oldest is 20 and my youngest is 2. Your videos are great for me because I am a stay at home mom.The decision I made to be a mom of so many children can also be judged, and yet I do not take this job lightly. I love to workout with my children and they are often encouraged by how strong mommy is.
    Thank You so much for your workout videos Cassey! I have your DVD and PIIT 28 and your booty shorts (sweat happy) are still some of my favorites. I just received a birthday present today your 2.0 Dark Blossom booty shorts and matching zip up bra. I love them!
    Congrats on your engagement. I wish you all the best, and thank you again. I love you and this community and am so happy to be a part of it.
    Crystal Riedel

  33. Amanda Hynes says:

    You are the WOMAN!!! Great post!

  34. memew10 says:

    Do you want to have children? If so, you’d be an amazing mom! And I hope it would be another amazing woman like you💙

  35. HAPPY.FRIED.FISH says:

    Wow, Cassey. Thank you. I’m the youngest child in my family, and used to always feel pressure to do better and be more like them (I have 7 older siblings). It’s so hard to see them all with successful careers and marriages, and I’m just finishing college and recently broke up with my boyfriend. Throughout my last year of college, and ESPECIALLY after having broken up with my boyfriend (he didn’t support me in my career aspirations), I’ve finally just started to come to the realization that I don’t constantly have to have everything together. And that’s okay. I’m 22, I’m graduating with two majors and a minor, and I’m an ambitious, hard-worker. I have so much of my life yet to live, and I’ve just barely scratched the surface! I hope other young women can come to see the beauty in themselves too. Thanks again 🙂

  36. Nanaco says:

    This is so lovely! I didn’t want to have a wedding ceremony at 30 but now it seems like the best year to do it. And this has just really made sense, that it’s a thought I’ve made up for myself and not actually what other people think at all!

  37. Joyce Rivera-Gonzalez says:

    I agree so much with this post! I constantly struggle with thinking about this as a graduate student. I sometimes think there are so many amazing and exciting things I could be doing in my 20’s besides wasting away in a desk as an academic wannabe. And sometimes, it’s the complete opposite. I think I’m way too young to be where I am, where many people have experience working with NGO’s abroad and have seen so much more of the world than I have. And posts like these make me remind myself that this is my journey, for my own reasons, and I should not compare myself to other people’s lives and wonderful experiences, especially regarding age. Thank you for reminding me of this, Cassey, and thank you for being such an inspiration to me. Working out with you has been my gateway into wellness and feeling good about myself as I combat anxiety, imposter syndrome and attention deficit. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  38. Jay says:

    I needed this today, everyone keeps telling I am too old to pursue a degree but I think the only difference is if I don’t pursue it I will be 36 without the degree instead of being 36 and having the degree. Thanks for being an inspiration.

  39. Angela says:

    I really needed to hear this today. I’m 24 and am constantly feeling like I’m so behind in life, compared to my peers and where I “should” be. Thank you for this!

  40. I always had this dream that by the age of 26 I would be settled down, having the best job ever, married, and having a dog and one kid. That is so out of the picture for me right now even though I recently just turned 21! Just a few days ago actually, and now that I see it, I’m just too busy aspiring for other things that I really want to do before settling down and having all those things. To accomplish a lot of things so young but I think we all just need to stop putting a deadline 2 where you should be at according to your age and society’s standards.

  41. frk.piit28 says:

    YES! I love this post and I think that many of us really need to hear these words. It’s way to easy to compare yourself and to feel less than.. This post really boosted my self-esteem! Have a lovely day you all <3

  42. popster_nina97 says:

    Wow… that video and your words were really powerful. Made me think about my life and whether I give in to societal pressure and do “what normal people are supposed to do”. I often feel guilty because I’m 20 and not at some college or have a job or live in my own flat etc etc… but I’m gonna try to not let that bring me down or make me feel stressed 🙂 Thanks for talking about things like that!

  43. Bruna13 says:

    Hey Cassey! I love the fact that you write about this theme! Thanks for sharing your experience and opinion about the topic. This video is amazing and a reminder that our ages do not define ourselves and our actions. Thanks for being this amazing person that shares meaningful messages <3