I Held my Head Up High & Said No to Lumpia

I Held my Head Up High & Said No to Lumpia

Hey Guys!

First off, thank you so much for all of your support on the last post about the incident that occurred at the gym last week. I read through all of the comments and was so touched by your positivity and encouragement. Honestly, the community here is like a group of girlfriends (and maybe some guyfriends) that are here when you need them most. I can’t explain the amount of LOVE I could feel OOZING from my screen as I smiled through each comment 🙂

I want to share with you one very special story from POPster Amy that melted my heart:

Cassey, you are the reason I am alive today. It’s dramatic, but it’s a fact. I’m a 10000 miles away in Jo’burg South Africa and 9 months ago, I tried to commit suicide. I wasn’t even overweight, eating disorders destroy people. I stumble on your videos…because I was looking for more ways to emaciate, thin out myself. What I found instead was hope, strength, someone who cared about me but had never met me. I live on Blogilates. You taught me to love myself, slowly, bit by bit. I created a different journal, one where I taught myself to eat again, I used all you health tips, I saved all your videos where you talk to us and tell about recipes and food – and your recent trips to Sydney and China pushed me to follow my own dreams.

What I’m saying is that, in that moment this manager attacked you, he unwittingly attacked thousands of us – we are I don’t know, like extensions or something. I cried reading this post but you are strong, I know you’re strong and you will pull through – because you dragged me out of hell and brought me back…and you’ve never even met me. That speaks to a powerhouse soul that can’t be beaten down by a manager on a power trip.

Be strong, you have reservoirs of strength that you send to all of us everyday – it’s time we return the favor.

*positive energy coming your way* wooosh

OMG, I had no idea. These stories need to be shared and you guys need to be heard! This is truly inspirational! It definitely pulled on my heart strings. Amy, thank you so much for being strong. Love you.

A bunch of you must be wondering what happened next, huh?

Well, after much ranting, raving, and texting between friends and reading your advice of course, the biggest tip I got was to hold my head up high, walk in to class the next day with confidence, and do my thang. And you know what guys? I did. And we had a fabulous Pilates Sculpt session! And I have YOU to thank for reassuring me everything would be okay 🙂

So little update on life…

I’ll be in LA this coming week filming some special YouTube videos with a big/new fitness channel on YouTube, so I am really excited to be part of my first “real production” with producers and directors and stuff! I wonder if they will also do my hair and makeup!? OMG. I’ll def me taking behind the scenes pics for y’all! I am lugging nearly ALL of my fitness clothes with me to LA to make sure I have everything I need, but I have a good feeling a good chunk of it will be booty shorts, Body Language, and Lorna Jane.

I just got this pair this week from Body Language and am in love. Well, I love all their scrunchy pant styles. They need to make a booty short version and I am in heaven. Do you hear me Matt and Erica!!??

So I’ve been dieting and working out EXTRA hard for this shoot and it has definitely paid off. Trust me you guys, cleaning up your diet and putting your time in for some serious cardio will do the trick to melt off fat. I also did tons of weight lifting, plyometrics, and a bit of my fave app, Nike Training Club.

I have 3 more days til showtime, and I have to be super good every day until then, but was invited to go to a baby shower and a family gathering…in the same day. Oh no. To make matters worse, it was a Filipino baby shower so a ton of foods that make me go crazy craving nuts were there…like…


ENSAYMADA…think warm sweet bun filled with sweet cream cheese and topped with more cheese and sprinkled with sugar.

My food soul NEARLY DIED. If I were not on this strict clean diet, and if I didn’t have an event coming up, I’d be all over it! But I had to control myself. I ate before I came and ended up just tasting a few of the “healthier” options like the stir-fried veggies and the lean parts of the roasted pork. It was not easy. AT ALL. I really think having food porn in such close vicinity and not being able to have it is a form of torture and ULTIMATE self-discipline.

Lucky me because I had to do it again in the same day for party #2. A family gathering.

It was Vietnamese cuisine which is a little bit cleaner, but still, some stuff I could not have. So I ate the chicken, took off the skin, and paired with cucumbers and lettuce. I really wanted to have these shrimp rice cakes (banh beo)…

but instead I let them sit there all pretty and delish-looking.

I’m happy to say I was able to survive 2 food gatherings but I really wish the timing was different! I just want you to know that you need not avoid the above foods like the devil every time you see them. Life is about fulfilling yourself and being happy, ultimately, and EATING is a big part of it. Although the above foods are not what I would consider clean, it is ok to have them once in a while. Or say if you are good all week, sure, indulge in moderation on the weekend. I’m coming from the stance that I have a very important event coming up so I need to keep things tight and my diet focused for certain results.

Hope you had an awesome St. Patrick’s Day! What did you do? Did you wear green and did you drink a bunch?! (OMG, just realized I didn’t wear green at all…oops)

<3 Cassey

24 thoughts on “I Held my Head Up High & Said No to Lumpia”

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  1. Leanne says:

    I nearly died because of anorexia myself and I can imagine girls finding strength in your positive attitude and fun approach to life, health and fitness!

    Keep doing what you’re doing it’s very inspiring and you sure are an inspiration to me to get back into fitness!

    I had to give up professional dancing due to anorexia but I miss fitness / dance so much but I never had the courage to get back into it! I felt a failure and too old (I’m 23 now 😉 so I know I’m not too old yet!) I’m passionate to become either a personal trainer or yoga/pilates/fitness instructor.

    I don’t know what life has in store for me, but instead of not trying because of my fear of failing, I’m now ready to give it my all to see how far I can come!! 😀

    XO, Leanne

  2. Maria says:

    Wow, you have serious discipline, this gives me hope! I am Filipino and I cannot turn down lumpia like ever. And we have a constant supply at home (my entire family is eat all u want Filipino). I have turned down ensaymada, but it’s so freakin’ good with coffee, I have slipped a couples times in 1 year. When I’m on vacation or at parties, it’s almost impossible to eat clean, people just don’t offer a lot of healthy options anymore. Glad they had veggies and lean pork – I’ll bet it was lechon. 🙂

  3. Melissa Anderson says:

    I just wanted to mention — that you are a strong and inspiring woman. I LOVE your pilates videos! THANK YOU one hundred times!

    There will always be those power tripper energy drainer people (gym boss) who want to steal your good vibes. But “be like the lotus flower, unspoiled by the muddy waters.” A friend once told me the same thing — when I had a difficult colleague at work who was putting me down.

    Good luck with your new uTUBE fitness channel! I can totally picture you as a famous workout instructor! Anyways, I do your pilates all the time from my house in London England — when by little 2 yr old boy is napping. BTW they need some major pilates out here in Wimbledon — that’s why I searched — and came across your blog online.

    Thanks for keeping me fit and motivated. I just did the 20/20 workout — and am going to convince my husband to try it tonight. Cassie, You are like having a fantastic trainer in my laptop!

    Cheerio! Melissa x

  4. Hi Cassey!
    I am Filipino and OMG I love lumpia (but there is a vegetarian version though, if it helps haha, I am vegetarian) and ensaymada! MMMM..
    Anyway, just wanted to say that you are amazing! I started really doing your workouts in January and I have seen the awesomest results! And I didn’t know workouts can be this addictive! You make it fun. <3

  5. Robyn says:

    Your videos and blog is so inspiring it is my daily check in point! That story was so amazing! I am so happy for you, your boss was extremely rude! Keep going! Your amazing!

  6. You inspire many people Cassey 🙂 Me included! I definitely see you as a role model and would like to do my best in this journey of fitness! Also, that is great that you held your head up high ^^

    Ps. Banh beo is a huge temptation… (fellow vietnamese here :P) so I am super proud and motivated by you! Haha

  7. findingmotivation says:

    Hello Cassie,
    I usually am one of those passing by citizens of internet, just looking for some tips (more like killing time instead of being really inspired) from all over the internet about health, beauty and fitness, and have never really left any comments or anything but after finding this blog through the videos, I am eager to write how thankful I am for your efforts, time and passion shown through the videos and the writings despite your busy schedule. thank you so much and God bless you!
    Going to a personal story of mine, it’s been about 9 years since I’ve came to America andI was really skinny, like healthy skinny girl and although I didn’t notice at that time, I know that I was very carefree, and confident, not having to worry about how I looked like because I wasn’t fat at all; no Asian relatives commenting on how I looked at least!(maybe little comments like oh what about school, her eyes are really small all that Asian talk inbetween cousins)
    Then the puberty hit, and my family back then was FAR from living healthy and getting used to the American foods have really left a significant impact as I dined out often including much of the processed food and after graduating high school. I have turned to the point where I started gaining 20lbs per year! I ate uncontrollably, but the thing is, I never thought it was serious because of my very high-metabolism (since I ate like 8 adult sized meals EVERYDAY throughout Junior and Senior year of high school and it was incredible how fit I looked).
    I ate for pleasure and satisfaction and at the age of 18, I hit to the point where I realized the amount of food I ate was inhumane to my body because I’ve started gaining a lot of weight and it had a huge impact on my self-esteem as I met new people, I noticed how people treated me differently (like nobody) and I wasn’t taken very seriously( especially, you know how sensitive weight becomes to women born in an Asian country, it’s literally a pain!!!! The cousins, the other cousins talk about how much you gained weight, is it really that important?). I was very humiliated because people I loved around me started indirectly suggest I lose weight and even called me fat and I hated myself because I wasn’t willing to do anything about it, I was lazy and I didn’t feel like a women. I met a guy that I really liked and he seemed to be interested in me too but I already gave up because I just assumed that they wouldn’t like me because I didn’t look like the girls on the magazine. I’m 19 and is at the most beautiful stage in life “according to the scientific calculation with the hormones and all that” and it’s been upsetting because I’ve been wasting my opportunities I lost due to low self-esteem and I feel like it’s time for change.
    I was depressed, tired of living, I didn’t want to live anymore because I don’t look pretty when I look at myself in the mirror. I am wearing gym-like clothes to cover up my body to everywhere and I already feel like people treat me like I don’t care about anything and I’m tired of that.
    But! I am so motivated through your personal stories you share and I really want to say thank you. I just fell into my temptation of eating a ricotta..4 big ones at 11PM…right before I sleep and I’m gonna cry T__T. This week, I am going to concentrate on my diet, cutting out the sugar and the carbs because I seriously need to realize that this is serious and thanks for showing your sincerity of fitness and beauty; Thank you Cassie for your inspiration and I want to pray for you that you persist through your hardships! Thanks for letting me know about the value of eating right and variety exercises. Thank you <3

    1. blogilates says:

      THANK YOU for commenting my dear! Don’t be a stranger.

  8. Kris says:

    i freaking LOVE ensaymada! mmmmmmm such butter and sugar deliciousness!

  9. dzung says:

    Cassey, great job going in there with your head held high. Don’t let the man get you down!!!
    And omg I loveeeee banh beo!! Such self control. My mom made some last week and as much as i didnt want to have it, i couldnt say no. Lol!! And I love that you are Vietnamese? I am too! We all love you. I’ve been telling everyone I know about your videos!
    You go girl, keep doing your thing!!

  10. Yay, so happy you walked on in there with your head held high 🙂

    How exciting about the new fitness You Tube channel! Wear lots of Lorna Jane and you can’t go wrong 😉

    Wow the Filipino food looked so delicious, especially the ensaymada.

  11. Inès says:

    I totally agree with stephanie ! I only start to follow your blog for a week and I am already thinking about joining a pilates class next scholar year when I’ll move back to France.
    You are the first teacher that makes me want to keep going, even if it’s too much and I don’t believe my body can make it. It’s as if all your moves were saying “I believe in you ! Even if you don’t believe in yourself, believe in me who believe in you !”. So I’ll keep going =D

  12. caro says:

    caseyyy im proud to say that when i went to a lunch thing this weekend, instead of pigging out and eating all the fries i could the way i usually do, i ate some fruit. your posts have kept me on track. its hard but so worth it 🙂

  13. Amanda says:

    Oh my gosh, congrats Cassey! I can’t wait to see the new videos 🙂

  14. Thanks for sharing those stories – it is incredible what strength people can find from blogs, it is inspiring. Keep up the great work!

  15. Kassy says:

    You finally tried Filipino food! 🙂 our cuisine are fantastic, tons of greens and fish happening and well, great desserts. 🙂

    See you back in twitter and good luck with this huge project!

  16. Aja says:

    I’m really glad to hear you were able to go into that gym and teach with your head held high. You really are an amazing person with so much strength and confidence.
    I didn’t wear any green yesterday either. I kind of forgot it was St Patrick’s Day.

  17. Cassey, how could you *not* think everyone loves you? You’re crazy 🙂 Your enthusiasm is viral, you can’t help catching it. I love your workouts, and your personality makes them even better. But don’t make me laugh during difficult poses lol. Grr 🙂

    Keep that beautiful head up and smile at the haters. They are soooo jealous, it makes me laugh.

  18. Kat says:

    Maybe it’s a moon phase lol! I was having some major food cravings yesterday. But my mind said no. I did have a little extra–a healthy treat of kale chips I made last night. Got through the day, but some days aren’t easy. Last weekend my daughter came home from college, and I asked her if she wanted me to make a cake. She said no, but she’d like a trip to the local Italian bakery. DANGEROUS place 🙂 ! She got a mini fruit tart and a cannoli. It was her birthday treat, and she normally eats very healthy and is an exercise nut like me but she has her occasional indulgence. It just has to be really worth it. But man! The smell of the place is what gets me. It is olfactory heaven. That is what gets the cravings going. No smell and all is well. Why couldn’t I have a cold that day? 😉 Anyway, I did not purchase anything for myself. All I have to do is think of the latest cover of Oxygen mag and I’m fine.

  19. Delilah says:

    Hey Cassey,
    I just now read your manager story and my heart melted for you, i have totally let many people make me feel like that plenty of times. I have also had a problem being a negative person myself, I’ve had low self esteem my whole life and i am 24 now( i started doing your pilates videos last summer before my wedding)…you have helped me become more positive and helped me believe in myself. Your energy and positive attitude are so contagious you literally have to fight yourself not to smile while doing one of your workouts. My weight loss journey: I was always over weight im 5’1 and was always in the 140s. I am Puerto Rican so avoiding my family’s food was almost impossible. I became even more depressed with myself and before i knew it i was 176 pounds!!!!!!!! YUCK!!! i really hated myself then, but i stopped feeling sorry for myself and 3 years later after a lot of cravings and billy blanks dvds, biggest loser workouts, and then finally your workouts i am glad to say that i am now and for the first time 114 pounds!!!! (on my wedding day which was this past sepember i went down to 110 but i got a little hungry since then haha) I still do your workouts and i now started P90x. You make me feel that being a negative person is a total waste of this beautiful thing we have called life. I still struggle with low self esteem so my negativity for myself comes out every now and then, but my husband always stops me in my tracks and reminds me that negativity is the old me! Anyway thank you for all you do for all of us…one day i hope to be as beautiful on the outside and the inside as you. You are my role model <3

    1. blogilates says:

      Omg congrats!!!!!!