February 25, 2021
As time goes on, it feels like I’m seeing more and more hateful comments on others’ posts. The negativity is overwhelming sometimes.
For a while, that negativity really got to me. I just let it in and I let it affect the way I shared my life and the way I spoke. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that a big part of my 90 Day Journey was to open back up and let go of what others thought about me. I decided this was important because:
- Overall, the POP community is AMAZING. I love watching you guys lift each other up.
- I love what I do.
- I realized that hurt people hurt people.
I’ll say it again. Hurt people hurt people.
One day I was like “CASSEY. One of your intentions with your community is to help others find joy and feel more confident.” Those people who HURT you the most, are the same people who NEED this the most.
Sometimes, when people have something really hurtful to say, it can stem from a few places:
- They are judging your situation without fully understanding it
- They feel jealous and want to bring you down
- They may want to establish a position of power and judging feels powerful
- They are going through their own battles and feel insecure about seeing your journey
- They are hurting and feel good when others hurt, too
… and these are just a FEW reasons why mean comments come about. Sometimes people don’t know they’re being mean, other times they are VERY aware. Either way, I think it’s safe to say that the person who is hurting you might be going through their own battles, too. And unfortunately, you have to be able to recognize this and try not to take it too personally. Otherwise, it can be really detrimental.
And that’s when I decided to keep my eyes ahead and keep doing my thing, with no fear of judgment.
View this post on Instagram
How To Rise Above
Negativity can consume you, IF YOU LET IT.
It took me a long time to learn how to handle this. Here’s what I know now:
- It’s not about you.
- It’s impossible to be everyone’s cup of tea.
- Sometimes letting go of negative people is necessary to protect yourself.
Whew, that last one was HARD for me to learn and accept. I’m here to help people! I love spreading positivity! I want you to like me!
But I had to accept that in reality, that isn’t always going to happen.
I had to stop wasting so much energy on “fixing” the negative. It was DRAINING. It was toxic. It made me doubt myself and it made me walk on eggshells with every move I made.
And that’s not who I am. And if you’re dealing with this – It’s not who YOU are either.
The people who want to hurt you will always find something to complain about. No amount of meticulous planning to satisfy everyone will actually satisfy everyone. There will always be someone who wants to see you fail. And that’s on them.
So the best thing you can do is keep your head up, eyes forward. Be genuine to yourself and remember that you have a lot to offer. Give it your all. If you’re passionate about something, your people will be there! If you focus on the negative, you won’t see the ones rooting for you.
And If You’ve Been On The Other Side
Look. It’s not my place to judge the people who pick others apart or post negative things on Instagram. Plus, I get it. I know I’m putting myself out there and being in a public forum can oftentimes welcome comments all across the spectrum. I know that more than likely, there’s something going on to fuel the negativity.
But if you’ve been that person, I want you to listen up. Because even though I want to understand, it’s not okay to keep spreading hate. I know you can do better.
First of all, I’m sorry you’re hurting. If you’re following people (even me) who don’t serve you in a POSITIVE way, then maybe those communities aren’t for you. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing! Do what you have to do to protect yourself and heal. I understand that seeing the “highlight reel” of Instagram can be really disheartening if you’re struggling. If that’s the case, take a break.
Second, I need you to know that spreading negativity will never actually make you feel better in the long run. It will keep weighing you down and it will isolate you when that’s probably the last thing you need. And you’re bringing other people down with you. I TOTALLY understand not being able to see that when you’re in the middle of going through something tough, but it’s true.
Finally, please PLEASE remember that people on social media are people. We’re all going through things just like you are. We’re on the same side.
I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here, doing my best to spread joy and light whenever you’re ready to join me.
Have you ever gone through something similar? Where you were on the receiving end of mean comments? How did you deal? Let me know in the comments ❤️