Hurt People Hurt People… But, Why?

Hey guys.

Social media is hard sometimes. Having so much of my life on display, dealing with so many people jumping to judge me or twist my words… I had to learn how to let it roll off my shoulders.

As time goes on, it feels like I’m seeing more and more hateful comments on others’ posts. The negativity is overwhelming sometimes.

For a while, that negativity really got to me. I just let it in and I let it affect the way I shared my life and the way I spoke. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that a big part of my 90 Day Journey was to open back up and let go of what others thought about me. I decided this was important because:

  1. Overall, the POP community is AMAZING. I love watching you guys lift each other up.
  2. I love what I do.
  3. I realized that hurt people hurt people.

I’ll say it again. Hurt people hurt people. 

One day I was like “CASSEY. One of your intentions with your community is to help others find joy and feel more confident.” Those people who HURT you the most, are the same people who NEED this the most.

Sometimes, when people have something really hurtful to say, it can stem from a few places:

  • They are judging your situation without fully understanding it
  • They feel jealous and want to bring you down
  • They may want to establish a position of power and judging feels powerful
  • They are going through their own battles and feel insecure about seeing your journey
  • They are hurting and feel good when others hurt, too

… and these are just a FEW reasons why mean comments come about. Sometimes people don’t know they’re being mean, other times they are VERY aware. Either way, I think it’s safe to say that the person who is hurting you might be going through their own battles, too. And unfortunately, you have to be able to recognize this and try not to take it too personally. Otherwise, it can be really detrimental.

And that’s when I decided to keep my eyes ahead and keep doing my thing, with no fear of judgment.

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A post shared by Cassey Ho (@blogilates)

How To Rise Above

Negativity can consume you, IF YOU LET IT.

It took me a long time to learn how to handle this. Here’s what I know now:

  • It’s not about you.
  • It’s impossible to be everyone’s cup of tea.
  • Sometimes letting go of negative people is necessary to protect yourself.

Whew, that last one was HARD for me to learn and accept. I’m here to help people! I love spreading positivity! I want you to like me!

But I had to accept that in reality, that isn’t always going to happen.

I had to stop wasting so much energy on “fixing” the negative. It was DRAINING. It was toxic. It made me doubt myself and it made me walk on eggshells with every move I made.

And that’s not who I am. And if you’re dealing with this – It’s not who YOU are either.

The people who want to hurt you will always find something to complain about. No amount of meticulous planning to satisfy everyone will actually satisfy everyone. There will always be someone who wants to see you fail. And that’s on them.

So the best thing you can do is keep your head up, eyes forward. Be genuine to yourself and remember that you have a lot to offer. Give it your all. If you’re passionate about something, your people will be there! If you focus on the negative, you won’t see the ones rooting for you.

And If You’ve Been On The Other Side

Look. It’s not my place to judge the people who pick others apart or post negative things on Instagram. Plus, I get it. I know I’m putting myself out there and being in a public forum can oftentimes welcome comments all across the spectrum. I know that more than likely, there’s something going on to fuel the negativity.

But if you’ve been that person, I want you to listen up. Because even though I want to understand, it’s not okay to keep spreading hate. I know you can do better.

First of all, I’m sorry you’re hurting. If you’re following people (even me) who don’t serve you in a POSITIVE way, then maybe those communities aren’t for you. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing! Do what you have to do to protect yourself and heal. I understand that seeing the “highlight reel” of Instagram can be really disheartening if you’re struggling. If that’s the case, take a break.

Second, I need you to know that spreading negativity will never actually make you feel better in the long run. It will keep weighing you down and it will isolate you when that’s probably the last thing you need. And you’re bringing other people down with you. I TOTALLY understand not being able to see that when you’re in the middle of going through something tough, but it’s true.

Finally, please PLEASE remember that people on social media are people. We’re all going through things just like you are. We’re on the same side.

I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here, doing my best to spread joy and light whenever you’re ready to join me.

Have you ever gone through something similar? Where you were on the receiving end of mean comments? How did you deal? Let me know in the comments ❤️

39 thoughts on “Hurt People Hurt People… But, Why?”

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  1. wordle today says:

    Hello Cassy Yes, you are entirely correct. Believe in your work, as it inspires people who view it.

  2. Word Hurdle says:

    Sometimes just negative comments online can ruin a person’s life. I hope everyone can optimistically let go of the negatives to live a good life.

  3. Vivi says:

    I try not to pay so much attention to the bad comments and to the people that make these comments and to rise above. But the truth is that bad comments really get to me and I don’t forget them. I think that you are right about the why people are doing this.


    Bonjour Cassey,
    Cela fait 6 ans que je fais du pop pilates. Je l’ai découvert après ma 2ème grossesse grâce à ton livre Pop pilates, j’ai adoré ta philosophie et je te soutiens et t’encourage à poursuivre sur cette voie car tu es en accord avec toi-même et tu développes en chaque personne quelque chose de bénéfique. Merci pour tout cela. Vive le Pilates !

  5. Connie Mitchell says:

    Casey, you are so sweet, and I enjoy doing your videos somewhat because of that. Haters have gotten worse, but that’s their choice. Look up! You are loved sweet girl.

  6. MaryAnn says:

    I am a very sensitive person. When I get a hate comment I cry and cry and cry myself to sleep only to have a blocked nose and really puffy eyes the next day. Sometimes I even get a fever and fall sick (I don’t even know how that’s possible). I’m still trying to not take their harsh words seriously.

  7. Alex Lionheart says:

    After seeing so many of your videos over the years, you seem like an incredibly kind and caring person full of love and energy. Your super happy excitable outlook towards what you do is very inspiring and uplifting–especially when exercising! If only everyone had such a positive mindset that you do. It really is a shame that the pandemic has brought out an even more savage side to people when all you are trying to do is help, motivate, and encourage people to be healthy! Never stop being you! 😀

  8. Şerife says:

    First thing first: Cassey you are a queen! Whoever says otherwise has some problem.
    You are the most positive person on YouTube. You made me love working out and taking care of my body and as you always say exercise is not just about the body but also the mind as well. I also learned a lot from you all the time I was exercising with you. I learned to be Positive, resilient, confident. Thank you for doing what you do and being who you are. Lots of love from Turkey ♥️♥️

    1. blogilates says:

      Thank you for your kind words!!!

  9. Karoline says:

    Girl, social media’s hard as life and it’s not easy for me, and everyone else. It’s difficult to let negativity consume you, or ignore the negativity. There’s people who are hurt, while other people who aren’t the same, still I just don’t want negative people to affect other peoples mental health.

    The reality is that negativity will indeed affect anyone, and especially you. Sometimes it’s okay to feel you are hurting your feelings are totally valid, and don’t let anyone invalidate your emotions, or anything you struggles.

    You got this Cassey, I wish I was your friend, but actually I feel as if I am not ready to make friends. You’re amazing and continue nurture your mind, spirit, and body. You are whole, loved, and worthy. You live it and you don’t have to think about it you’re whole, loved, and worthy.
    Hang in there Cassey! Wish I could hug you yet I’ll send a virtual hug to you.

    Sends you virtual hug <3

  10. Katelyn says:

    Dear Casey, I am pregnant with my sixth baby, and tend to gain a lot of weight during each pregnancy, even with eating carefully and staying active. I think it is just what my body does. I do have healthy pregnancies and labors and healthy babies, but I tend to get a lot of comments on how huge I get or how unhealthy I look. After this birth, it will be my fourth time going through the beginner Blogilates workout calendar, and then getting back on the monthly calendars after that, and it is always so healing for me every single time. I love getting stronger again (slowly), and hearing your words in my head. Sometimes you do just have to make sure you are feeding yourself healthy words like you feed yourself healthy food, and Blogilates is always one of my sources!

    1. Katelyn says:

      Edit: Cassey* Agh! I do know how to spell your name correctly! Autocorrect!

  11. DeborahAnn says:

    I very rarely comment on anything in social media but I thought that I would share this with you because of this topic, here’s something positive: You Rock!!!!! I’ve been working out to your videos and following you for about a year and you have changed my life. You are so positive and bubbly and amazing!!!!!!!!! I don’t know how anyone can say anything bad about you. I’ve had a seriously hard time struggling with severe PTSD and depression so exercise is something I know that helps my mental state and it was super hard for me to just have the energy to get out of bed let alone do a workout. Because you’re videos are short and sweet I was able to start exercising again and at 51 years old I look and feel better than I did 10 years ago!! You have been a huge part of that transformation! Thank you!!! You’re smart not to listen to the negatives because that’s all just a bunch of bogus!!! Everything you just said is so true! Thank you for being the incredible woman that you are and being the beautiful light I look forward to seeing every morning! 🥰

    1. blogilates says:

      Thank you for sharing this!!!! Sending you so much love!!

  12. Kat says:

    Totally agree with your post. When this pandemic first led to the lockdown I March I thought people would be nicer on social media especially since we Te all dealing with this. But if course not the case. So I stayed off social media for awhile bc I was already full of anxiety. Then I got mad bc I thought why can’t I go online and just focus on positive items. So I joined a whole bunch of online groups that focused on things I love:travel, fitness, Gilmore Girls and food. I only post kind and uplifting things and refuse to get dragged into online bashing not just bc its mean and unnecessary but bc i have no clue what the person may be enduring. I have friends who on top of the pandemic have dealt with really trying and sad situations:one friend lost her mom who was her best friend, another had two miscarriages, and a third is an icu nurse who’s been trying to get pregnant for 3 yrs, finally did but is constantly worried about getting the virus. I want to emerge from this pandemic knowing I tried to be a more caring person. And when I get mad I do cardio kickboxing lol

  13. Poojitha Borra says:

    Hi Cassey! I am from India and I am 23 years old. I never in my wildest dreams thought exercising is something I should do for my body, it didn’t look appealing for me and I always thought it’s for people in the show business, dancers or in other words people who are required by their profession to do this.
    Until, I came across your channel three years ago, no equipment needed isolation workouts and I was in AWE.
    You made exercising FUN for me and thank you so much for that, I am active and healthy and understand the importance of it.
    Please, just shut the negative, don’t heed to it and do not let it effect you. You are amazing

  14. Thank you for posting this – this is so real! Growing up, I NEVER made my social media public. I was so afraid of random people saying mean and hurtful things. After all, I could see it happening to others all over the internet. I’m in the midst of my 90 Day Journey right now, and finally took that step to making myself vulnerable online by sharing my journey on Instagram. It’s been something that has scared me for a while, but I figure if I can change one person’s life, it’ll be worth it. After all, you did that for me! Thank you for being a bright burst of positivity on the internet, and know that it has a trickle down effect! I am so grateful to have found Blogilates!

    1. blogilates says:

      Wow, this is so powerful! Thank you for sharing this!!!

  15. Chris says:

    I feel terrible that you have had to deal with this. I’ve only recently joined the “blogilates team” and I look forward to every morning, because I’ll be doing hard work to improve myself in body and spirit. But, here’s the thing: I don’t feel sorry or sad for the bullies out there. Having faced them myself, I think that adults have choices to make. And If you’re feeling like being mean and nasty to people you don’t know intimately (ie- FAMILY, GOOD FRIENDS, and (ahem!) TEAMMATES 🤔🤗😆. You don’t get a pass – take a nap, have a glass of water, maybe take your medication if that’s what you need. Grow up! I wish I could reach in and give you a big hug and tell you to your face: YOU ARE SPECIAL TO SO MANY PEOPLE!!! Take care of you – for us. ♥️♥️

  16. Kathy T Kline says:

    Cassey, I have learned so much and benefitted so much from your blogilates app. Your positivity is wonderful.

  17. Cindy says:

    After the 90 Day Journey, I noticed the content you shared with us were more addressing these “haters”, which I appreciated. I didn’t take note that there were so many negative comments on your videos/photos until you addressed it but in addition to of acting bubbly, I really like how you addressed them in a skit or reel video about the how I eat in a day video and how they will never be satisfied with your physical appearance. They will always judge you for something when you were “bigger” and now when you’re “smaller”. I can tell that your content is much better now because you don’t let the haters get to you, at least not like before?

  18. Grace Shieh says:

    Completely love everything Cassey has said. However, I wish it wasn’t “on you” to change your attitude for how you react to negativity. People need to stop being so negative online and be good digital citizens. For example, when people tell women to bear with sexual harassment and it’s just “boys being boys.” Instead, boys should STOP harassing women. Likewise, it shouldn’t be on Cassey to just brush it off when people tear her down and accept that the internet is what it is. People should STOP tearing her down.

  19. CC says:

    Oh Cassey. My heart heavy for you. 😞 You have overcome such adversity and honestly your strength is so inspiring for me. 🤍 For so many years, I too have been picked apart to an unjust degree. Especially by my own sister-in-law. In 2020, in a short way of saying, she did the worst possible thing a sister-in-law could do to me. While trying to be my friend, she was spreading so much slander behind my back to others and rip apart my marriage- and get others to take it advantage of that. And unfortunately it worked. Let’s just say 2020 was the hardest year of my life. So for years I felt couldn’t even be myself. Even to post on social media was incredibly hard for me because I felt everything I did was automatically judged in such a negative way.. But in November 2020, something inside me changed. I was tired or being tired. I felt so defeated and reached rock bottom. I realized no matter what I did people were always upset. But that’s when I turned it around. So I decided to choose happiness. To face my fears, and start loving myself and be strong enough to share my joy instead of hiding it like I did for years. I started living my life with compassion in everything I did, and just helping others know they are not alone- it lit a fire in my soul. It is the reason I can get up in the mornings now, and I just want to tell you Cassey how much I appreciate your strength and how you’ve helped so many people. So thank you so much for all you’ve done 🤍🤍 For the first time I am gaining enough confidence in myself to actually start pursuing things I have been doing in shadows for YEARS!! Next thing on my list. Become a Pop Pilates instructor!! Being part of Pop community has helped me finally come out my shell. 🧜‍♀️

  20. Maria says:

    Hi cassey yes your totally right believe in your creation you inspire..those who see you bright light

  21. Liz Mathew says:

    Hey Cassey, I understand how you feel. People say I am fat or I got chubbier and it’s like I don’t want to talk to the anymore. It’s very hard but thank you for sticking around and making me feel better by your workouts. Thank You so much!

  22. Liz Mathew says:

    Hey Cassey, I understand how you feel. People say I am fat or I got chubbier and it’s like I don’t want to talk to the anymore. It’s very hard but thank you for sticking around and making me feel better by your workouts. Love You!

  23. Cheryl Chin says:

    I learned Cassey to pray through my hurts and not let it affect the way I treat others

    1. blogilates says:

      Sending so much love!!! <3 <3 <3

  24. PoPster says:

    You have the right mindset! You always spread positive vibes even when getting your point across. Keep your CROWN up my friend. Gotta be nice to oneself, love oneself and respect to shine that back onto others. The ones that are mean were either never taught any better and are having a rough life learning as they go (we cant choose the families we are born to, etc.) or they’re just naturally narcissistic. There is a bit of everything in this world and we have no choice but to accept that those types exist and we need to stay the hell AWAY from the ” Karens & Debbie Downers, Haters, etc.) for ones own sanity and wellness. If someone is rude kill’ em with kindness instead, we never know what they’re mentally battling themselves. Stay strong, there is more positive strength in the air than negative. Focus thy energy on reading more positive feedback scroll that other stuff away it’s not like a negative person will even give constructive criticism so no point in hearing that opinion. Just like we watch what we eat, we have to watch what we let our eyes see.

  25. agnes says:

    I love this Casey and you are amazing.. mature and kind attitudes will get you so much further in life than spreading negativity. You got this and we got you!!

    1. Agnes says:

      Ugh Cassey, autocorrect boo

      1. Scuse' Me says:

        Mistake post please delete

  26. Lauren Lang says:

    Dear Cassie,
    I’ve been underweight my entire life. I’ve very active, since I play soccer and do a bunch of your workouts, which I love. My parents are always telling me to eat more so I gain more weight, but I just keep eating and then growing taller. My supportive sister tells me that as long as I’m healthy, I shouldn’t worry, but I just can’t help it. I’ve been working a lot on building more muscle to gain weight, but I feel really discouraged when I step on the scale and I just weigh less.
    Always Underweight

    1. Roxy says:

      Hey Lauren! If you’re growing taller then you’re probably still going through puberty. I was a late bloomer and didn’t finish going through puberty till college! I read somewhere people can still grow/change till 25!!! I was also very skinny like skin-and-bones-skinny my entire life despite the fact I ate anything and everything all day long, but I was super active in a plethora different sports since the age of 5 till now actually. Around my early 20s I did start to fill out somewhat (I graduated college at 21). Therefore, I’ll share this…be patient with your body and love it no matter what because someone’s definition of skinny can be someone else’s definition of not-skinny. Also, be safe and always consult with your doctor about your physical health as they’ll be able to help if needed.

  27. Johanna says:

    I completely understand what this is like. I’ve had some people in my life in the past who were never happy with me. And I want everyone to like me! It took some time to learn how to save my energy and stop trying to please people who can’t be pleased. “Quitting” does not come naturally to me, so it was hard!