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Today I looked in the mirror and… | 58 of 90
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October 12, 2019

Today I was forced into a situation I didn’t want to be in. Please watch below.

I’ve always been ashamed of my belly. Only a couple times in my life has it ever had any resemblance of a “fitness trainer’s body.” The rest of the time, my soft belly gets people either:

  1. Praising me for looking “normal”
  2. Shaming me for not looking fit enough to be a instructor
  3. Doubting that my programs even work

*sigh*

As you can see, it makes it hard to love yourself when people insist that your body isn’t a good reflection of your profession or your willpower.

But today, I took off my shirt and began to shatter the resent I held for my belly. I realized that there was no need to disrespect my body just because others didn’t appreciate it. Like, who cares what people think!!! Like actually – WHO CARES. And if they do, at least you’re important enough for them to be talking about right!?

I KNOW that my physical shell does not define how strong I am! Sure, life would be easier if I had a body that actually reflected my hard work, but you know what, you can’t have everything. And I am beginning to be okay with that.

I will tell you straight out that this is the BEGINNING of a self love journey for me and my belly. If I am being realistic, I can tell you that I will still be self conscious and I will still feel weird about wearing a sports bra in public by choice, but I know that the more I do it, the less scary it will be. Today was day 1 for me, my belly and our ever-evolving self love journey.

What part of your body are you insecure about? How do you plan on beginning your self love journey for it?

Yesterday’s Recap:

Fit Journal entry. Yesterday was the shoot. I was running on 3 hrs of sleep. There was no workout. Just standing all day. My lower back really hurts! Got a massage today though and I feel better.

BREAKFAST:

10% carbs, 65% fat, 25% protein

230 calories

Spinach and bell pepper egg white egg bites from Costco! Tastes just like the ones from Starbucks but cheaper! Yay! Had this at 7:30AM because I knew the shoot would get crazy as soon as I got there.

LUNCH:

17% carbs, 62% fat, 21% protein

779 calories

For lunch, we catered from Chipotle! SO FUN. I made myself 2 bowls. One was a chicken salad with guac, pico de gallo and chipotle honey vinaigrette dressing, and the other was sofritas over salad and corn.

DINNER:

33% carbs, 49% fat, 19% protein

689 calories

As soon as we got home from the shoot, I pulled out whatever leftovers I had in the fridge for a quick meal. I found cauliflower rice, ground turkey, lox, and then had it with a side of romaine lettuce and chipotle honey vinaigrette.

I ended dinner with a kombucha.

The day came in at 1,698 calories and 22% carbs (96g), 57% fat (111g), and 21% protein (89g).

Once again, meal timing is just FAILING right now. My dinners are so late. I need to figure this out. But now that the shoot is done, I am hoping I will have more time for myself. But I still need to make the Halloween costumes…prep some intense scripts for cool videos I have coming up…and we’re planning our first ever POWERGIRLS Retreat in less than a month…oh dear…this never ends!!! But who’s the blame? ME. So I’m not complaining.

12 thoughts on “Today I looked in the mirror and… | 58 of 90”

There are 12 comments posted by our users.

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  1. Saraahx says:

    Congrats on your victory, girl, that is awesome!!! I’m insecure about my butt, I would say, since it’s the body part that takes the longest time for me to see results. I don’t have a flat belly because of “health” issues and I’ll never be able to change that, even though I did try but I learned to accept it with time and it definitely is much, much, MUUUUCH easier when you stop hating your body and wasting your energy.
    Also, that Chipotle meal looks good.

  2. Sydneylou says:

    Hey girls, loving the article. I have been struggling to lose weight, and hate dieting also. I read a few articles online, one was about food combinations and nutrition. I think it’s pretty interesting, have you heard about this before? Do you know If it works?
    Globalhealthreviews.wordpress.com

  3. Laura says:

    I wear shorts because I don’t love that much my tights. With time I get more comfortable with this and wear very very short one 🙂 I was so ashemed by my stretch marks…🙈 Now I am ok. I have 29 years and start to get use with my kind of body. I learn slowly that my body is 1,68 cm and goes around 60 kg. This is my and if I don’t want to be very sick again I have to do moderate sport everyday and eat and sleep. I have a chronic disease and I have to stoped put my body in terror and shut down my immune system. So I found in the last 2 years that I love Pilates and it is a friendly sport with my body. Thank you for being here in my life and my house. 😊♥️

  4. marina says:

    Cassey, I’ve been training pole dance for over a year now and I had the exact same story! It also helped that on my classes there are ladies in all shapes and ages, I’m not embarassed anymore of my soft, soft belly! I even have the guts to upload a pole dance photo (showing belly) to my instagram!
    I have to admit, I was a person who doubted your workouts because you don’t have a sixpack. But it was me, at 16, with eating disorder and with disrupted vision. I was really thin, but I hated myself, because I thought it’s just so easy to get a sixpack and I don’t have it because I’m not working out enough or that something’s wrong with me. Now, i’m 23 and so so much has changed, I’ve learnt so much and I know it’s really TOUGH to have a body like yours and it’s even more tough to have your strength, not to mention how you can be flawless in anything (heels dance!?). You are just super amazing and a role model at the same time.
    I hope you notice my comment, I’m just trying to explain having such opinion from my point of view, I wish such opinions didn’t affect you, but I imagine it must be really hard to ignore these voices.
    Sending love <3

  5. Kori says:

    Congratulations on your victory! If anyone says you don’t have the body of a fitness instructor, they are clearly self-blind. I mean, have they SEEN your legs?! You should say, “if you think I’m not a ‘real’ instructor, why don’t you come to a class?” I doubt they could do what you do, let alone talk and look fab while doing it! Lol!

    P.S. I really love seeing all of these updates, as well as the dance videos! Seeing you try new things is super inspiring for me. Can I be you when I grow up? Haha

  6. I don’t see anything neutral or negative about anybody’s body. Either say something positive, or I say nothing at all. Also, that comment about your body looking like a normal person’s… That’s supposed to be a compliment?! Oh, I don’t know. I don’t feel very good about that comment. I think you’re beautiful, and I absolutely love you, Cassie! You definitely should be proud of those abs 🙂

  7. Lady-J says:

    Didn’t ware shorts for almost a decade because a boyfriend at 18 told me I had “horrible” legs. Now I ware what I want!

    1. Laura says:

      Omg I have a similar story with my arms. He said I have a lot of fat on my arms that it’s not nice. From then I don’t like to wear anything that it’s not having sleeves up to the elbow. But slowly I start with shorts, I will get on my arms one day 😄

  8. rasheedawilson says:

    Tbh I don’t understand how can anyone look at you and NOT see how toned your body is. I actually think most people don’t understand how a fit and toned body looks like when you do it healthy. A lot of fitness models lead really restrictive life styles and have to do a lot of unhealthy things to get that ‘fitness model’ look. It’s normal to have a layer of fat over your muscles when you are eating a balanced diet. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that Cassey. I actually like that you promote fitness in a way that is healthy instead of selling us a restrictive lifestyle. I am sure some people may have a body type that is naturally more lean-looking but I don’t think it’s at all true that the leaner you look, the more stronger you are. I think people just have a very narrow idea of what a toned body looks like.

    1. mrf82 says:

      I agree with this whole-heartedly. Also, those of us who are following Blogilates are probably doing it to look lean, not to look muscular. I’ve never thought of pilates as a way to get a six pack, it’s a way to be healthy.

  9. Katie S says:

    You’re not alone not feeling comfortable wearing only a sports bra in public. Many of us do if only for the reason that we’re not wearing a shirt. I don’t like showing so much skin. Even at home I get ansy and just feel more comfortable putting that shirt on. Same goes with a bathing suit. I just feel too bare and don’t like that feeling most of the time.

  10. LisaZ19 says:

    First, you look amazing! Second, I totally get you! I’m not ashamed of my abs/belly, but it is the one area I constantly work on. I feel weird wearing a sports bra in public, but that’s because I am Not wearing a shirt in public! I also feel self conscious wearing a bikini in public. Mostly because I don’t like being the “center of attention” . I like being seen, but in a blending in kind of way – if that makes sense

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