This week is off to a bad start | Day 19 of 90

Okay so I’ve been on the weight gain train ever since KBBQ this weekend! There’s still a food baby that hasn’t gone away since Saturday, AND since my period began, I’ve been snacking a lot. This week I’m going to need to focus hard if I want to progress at a rate that will allow me to hit my goals in the next 9 and a half weeks.

To be honest with you, I’m not 100% emotionally unaffected by the number I see on the scale. When I see progress, I feel super motivated! When I see a plateau or a regression, I feel like I need to do better. But it’s not a “you’re a worthless failure” kind of feeling. I don’t curl up in fetal position and cry like I used to. I’m proud to say that I’ve grown past that after years of self work. These days, it’s more like a “this is a tough puzzle, but you WILL figure it out” kind of feeling. It’s semi frustrating and semi motivational at the same time. So, that’s where my head is at. I need to FOCUS.


After I got home from Barry’s Bootcamp, I made myself this delish plate! Turkey burger with pepperjack cheese, tomatoes, and homemade guacamole with a side of mushrooms and butter lettuce. YUM!!!

I also bought this Keto ice cream from Gelson’s and OMG it is SO GOOD! It really tastes like regular ice cream, except a tad less creamy in texture.

The ice cream claims to have 3g of net carbs per serving, which is true if you subtract all the sugar alcohols. But if I’m being “safe”, the calculation would be 5.5 net carbs per serving.

Midday snack: pepperjack cheese with Thai chili almonds! YUM! I wonder if all the dairy is contributing to the weight staying on?

Pre-dinner snack: Homemade guac with seaweed crisps!

Dinner was zoodles with Alfredo sauce, tomatoes, mushrooms, and sausage. I am loving the fact that I am not counting my macros or my calories. But I am afraid that I may be overeating. No matter how “healthy” or how “strict” I am with my food, if I eat too much, I eat too much. And as you guys know, my stomach is a bottomless pit. So if the progress continues to stall, I may need to one of the following things:

  1. cut out the cheeses
  2. replace some meats with fish
  3. count macros

I REALLY don’t want to count macros, so I would much rather do number 1 or 2! Let’s see though if we need to get there…I guess I’ll make a decision with Friday’s weigh in…which is only 3 days away! AHHHH!

Oh, but on a positive side note…we wallpapered our home office! This is the first time in my entire life I have ever used wallpaper on ANYTHING!




The room feels so much more intimate! What do you think?

Now I need to decorate the desks with some gold to match the constellations on the wall! The wallpaper is from World Market and is a self adhesive peel and stick. I am obsessed!

OK see you back here tomorrow for hopefully some solutions and some progress!

58 thoughts on “This week is off to a bad start | Day 19 of 90”

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  1. Jo says:

    That wall paper looks amazing! And thank you for the seaweed chips and guacamole idea! Such easy things to make too!

  2. This is one of the best article for healthy food lovers.

  3. feixia-chan says:

    Wow the wallpaper makes such a difference !!

  4. Saraahx says:

    *I kinda like the constellation wallpaper. It’s pretty original

  5. Saraahx says:

    I like how you say that “you will figure it out”. It’s truly inspiring. I never cared about the numbers to be honest. I never took measurements because it did not matter much to me, to say at all, until pretty recently. But! When I weight myself in and see the number going up instead of usually being stable, I start panicking and not loving myself. So, in short, congrats Cassey because sometimes it takes will power to not be affected by a number.
    Sea salt caramel flavor is the best flavor, in my opinion!
    Maybe you’re right about the cheese. By the way, do you not eat carbs?!? Like healthy ones such as rice, potatoes etc. I don’t recall seeing you eating much of these in your blog posts

  6. I think cheese , Vegetable and nuts are good combination.

  7. Katie S says:

    I really need to cut dairy out of my diet. It’s horrible for my skin and my digestive tract. I don’t care what people say. If I eat ice cream and immediately to to throw up as well as break out in boil-like pimples, I’m taking it as a sign that my body hates dairy. I’ve gotten most of it out, except cheese. I love cheese. My body hates gluten as well, but that’s harder to cut. Bread is life and gluten-free bread tastes like shit. But I have gotten rid of tortillas so that’s good. And I don’t have much bread. I’m trying t replace it with plain brown rice cakes. They’re actually pretty good. Lightly salted. I don’t care what the negative people say. They’re completely blowing things out of proportion. I think you’re doing a great job trying to figure out what your body likes and doesn’t like. ❤️

  8. killmotion says:

    I’ve never wallpapered anything but I’m loving the constellations. Space is my jam so I’m a fan!

  9. Ania says:

    When I first saw this before and after photos of your office it brought me The Sims, I loved to decorate their houses like this 😂

  10. A says:

    Girl, there is nothing wrong with you for needing to snack and eat more and for gaining weight. Bloating is also completely normal! Our bodies need way more energy (and calories) than we think we should be getting. It’s a survival mechanism. That’s why diets/starving ourselves/cutting calories or food groups don’t work. If they did, everyone would just get skinnier and skinnier and skinnier until… they disappeared. Our bodies are simply trying to keep us alive. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. Stop trying to turn your body into something it’s not and something that isn’t sustainable. Health is not measured by the scale and not measured our waistline. Being thinner and leaner and having more muscle and less fat do not necessarily mean we’re healthier. Women especially need more fat to have normal reproductive health. Health is not just physical. If you’re driving yourself crazy trying to do this diet (yes, it is a diet no matter what you call it), this is not healthy at all. Sure, you may reach your “goal weight” at the end of this, but what’s next? Get thinner and thinner and thinner? When will this end? What does this cost you? Never being able to fully enjoy meals at a restaurant without knowing beforehand what “safe” dish will be on the menu? Not being able to eat at a party without thinking about cutting calories and working out more the next day? Not being able to enjoy the same foods as your spouse because you only “eat clean?” Think about it. Is it worth it? Stop sacrificing your mental, emotional, and social health for thinness. This isn’t even physical health anymore. It’s about being thinner and leaner. Cutting out food groups is not healthy, unless there is a medically necessary reason. The keto diet has only been recommended for children with epilepsy, which you clearly are not part of. You’re not fooling anybody when you say this is for your health and you’re doing this for yourself and this is not a diet. I don’t want you to keep doing this until you’re 80. Again, bloating is normal! Especially when you cut carbs, lose water weight, and then add them back. Carbs require more water to digest, so of course you’ll have some bloating. Everybody has some bloating when they eat. After all, our stomach and intestines digest food, not our feet.

  11. Nicole Hiers says:

    Something I did when I kept a food journal was add a column for my hunger scale. There’s all kinda of infographics on the internet, but basically after I ate I would jot down my hunger feeling. It’s on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is starving and 10 is painfully full. I think a 3/4 is ideal for weghtloss, but again a Google search will confirm. I am REALLY against counting macros lol so this worked for me. Also, paying closer attention to serving size, particularly for things like yogurt, PB, and the half and half in my coffee. I’m enjoying reading about your journey!

  12. ashleyy412 says:

    I just want to say thank you for continuing to post daily despite all the negativity you’re receiving. I so thought you would have more support, but instead I’m seeing all theses negative opinions. I actually hate making posts, but I feel like there needs to be more positivity in your comments. I’m sorry you’re experiencing some bumps, but they will smooth out as the days go on, you’re technically not quite a third of the way there, so you have plenty of time. It’s okay to have a bad week, just breathe through it and trust yourself. You got this:).

  13. Diana says:

    Just watched this video on the Keto diet and weight loss. Maybe this explains the change in weight?

    I also studied cell biology in college, and our cells want to use glucose (carbs) as fuel. When they don’t find any, they think that you are starving, and send stress signals to the brain telling you to retain weight and probably release cortisol as well, which doesn’t help with losing weight/fat either.

  14. Sarah923 says:

    Cassey (and any other woman reading this), I highly recommend a book called Woman Code by Alisa Vitti. The author goes into great detail explaining the hormonal changes through every phase of your menstrual cycle, the symptoms that accompany them, and how best to work with the phases so you’re not fighting your biology. For example, during your period or the week leading up to it (I forget which), she says you’ll have lower energy so you should do gentler exercises, like walking and yoga. She even recommends different foods at different phases… I vaguely recall something about increasing grains (?) to help flush excess estrogen out of your system. I’m seriously wondering if it would help you on your journey. I’ve also heard stress (like strenuous exercise, pushing yourself too hard) increases cortisol, which makes you hold onto body fat. Might be worth investigating! Oh and don’t forget that you retain water when you have your period so your weight probably won’t change much until after. Cheering for you!! ❤️

  15. Julie says:

    I was confused, because you said you were going to weigh in only once a week. I think if you do that, you won’t let these fluctuations get you down.

    1. blogilates says:

      Yes I weigh in once a week officially. The daily tracking is to see how certain foods affect me from the day before. In this case, it’s not just a 1 day fluctuation. It’s been a few days on the gain train 🙂

  16. jtjones5525 says:

    I would cut dairy out, it’s known to cause inflammation. I know it’s hard but there are alternatives you can get that are better for you. I just started Whole30 and don’t miss dairy at all, sugar on the other hand… 😀

  17. Sarah says:

    Hi Cassie,
    First, congrats for your decision to make the 90 days challenge ! Good for you ! I also choose to take care of myself and that leads to loose weight. That’s about respect for myself and my body. and your journey was truly a motivation to begin mine. So thanks for the inspiration ! 🙂
    About your gain weight, I don’t think you’re eat too much, but I assume that maybe the cheese for snack has something to do with it… Are you really hungry at snack time ? I agree with Dina’s comment, it’s about insulin in your system.
    If you eat regularly, the insulin stay high in your system and your hunger sensations are biased. That’s what I call a “sugar craving”. And that’s not really about sugar (since you cut them off) but also about fat. I myself tend to eat cheese when my brain is craving.
    Maybe you should indeed reduce dairy and snack time.
    But every body is different just feel what yours tells you to do 🙂
    Keep the good work and be Badass !
    With all my love.

  18. Priya says:

    When I cut out dairy before my wedding, the weight started dropping! I ate more “paleo-ish” I would say. Also my skin was less prone to breakouts!

  19. kj says:

    But the guac with seaweed looks good doh!

  20. kj says:

    Yeah dairy although has calcium which is good for you but it can make you feel bloated, fart alot weight gain, pimples popping out, so yeah eliminating/reducing dairy is still okay… except if that is like some staple in your diet/culture for Americans, then maybe its gonna be a bit hard? But as you mention you rather go with reducing that or the other one so thats fine then😅for me, i can refrain from dairy including ice cream and chocolate milk. Also, red meat and fish because greens and soya stuff are good for me, esp. If they are cooked well😉i would just need a bit of the gravy/soup and im okay. but carbohydrates, imma loser to that😅maybe no rice but potatoes but not for a week, heehee Asian✌yeah Cassey, its good to be still on control of the situation and yourself and not give up so easily, just you gotta work exta harder to shed off those extra weight and control and watch your diet better😅there will be other times to indulge again, now lets get back to work!

    1. Zamira says:

      I have been going through what your going through since trying to lose my post partum pooch! I’m interested to see how you manage to work around your body fighting to hold onto the last few pounds. I’ve been working out consistently (cardio+weights) 5-6 times a week and eating mostly clean..but I’m stuck with the last 10 pounds. I’m rooting for you and appreciating your honesty!

  21. Lily says:

    Cassey –

    Your journey has inspired me to start one of my own. I weigh 20 pounds more than I did when I started college, and while I don’t expect to go back to that weight, I do want to feel proud of my body again, so I’ve set a goal to lose 10 pounds in 3 months. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog posts so far, and the fact that it isn’t easy for you either makes me feel like I’m not alone. It’s only been two days and they haven’t been easy, but I’m excited that we’re in this together! Thank you so much for your candor and willingness to share your journey with us!

  22. caso0101 says:

    Hang in there, you’ll figure it out! 🙂 Love the wallpaper! Always shoot for the stars! <3

  23. Caroline says:

    Track your macros until you can accurately estimate how much you’re eating. people usually overestimate how much they eat, so it’s a good idea to see how much you’re eating before you make cuts. Im in a rut atm because I’ve been eating things that are too much work for me to track (ie: homemade cookies 😋), so I understand, lol. I would cut out the snacks first and focus on having 3 bigger more filling meals.

  24. Laura says:

    I get SO HUNGRY the two days before my period, and I snack more during the first half of it. A few days after it’s over, the weight drops off. Personally, I wouldn’t make any dietary changes until after your *next* weigh in if you are still at a stall.

    Another thing that is true to my body but maybe not yours – if I don’t eat breakfast, I snack more throughout the day. I try to have something – like today I had 2oz of brie with about a tablespoon of blood orange marmalade – and as long as I eat a real lunch (when I’m super busy, I’ll spread my normal lunch throughout the afternoon), I won’t be snacking. If I do the grazing style lunch, I tend to want to graze all day and night, as well as eat a normal dinner. Just something else to consider switching up before you start counting macros and calories. If you want to consider continuing IF, maybe change your window of eating to include a breakfast and early-ish dinner. Meal prepping (I don’t go crazy, but I wash and prep my produce for snack portions after I put groceries away… if I don’t eat the snacks a few days later, super fast to add to soup/stir fry/quesadillas/etc.), instant pot, and slow cookers have all helped me be able to get dinner done quickly (or cook while I’m working) so I can eat early.

    Also – I love the new office wallpaper – definitely an upgrade for your office than plain white walls. I love how darker walls can make a room more cozy, but you still have plenty of white to make the room not feel like a dungeon.

  25. Sarah says:

    Dairy does not CAUSE weight gain, no food group does. A caloric surplus causes weight gain. End of story. When you’re in a deficit you lose, when you’re not you don’t. Don’t go blaming or cutting out food groups when you’re not allergic or intolerant to them. To Cassie: I would weigh myself after your period. It causes A LOT of fluctuations. Just be mindful of your portions (maybe use the hand-technique?), and eat enough protein, it’s the most satiating macro.

    1. Sarah says:

      Oh, and like others have said: I love smoothies so much but be carefum u don’t drink too many calories. It all adds up to your caloric intake. and it probably won’t leave you feel full as long as whole foods

    2. jnnnta says:

      This! It’s never recommended to cut out whole foodgroups if you don’t have a medical condition. If you do, then go see a doctor and dietician before doing any major changes to your diet.

      Also seeing a lot of people labelling foods as “bad” and “unhealthy”. No food is inherently unhealthy or bad. There’s foods that have more nutrients and foods that have less. If you give these foods negative labels that can easily lead to being guilty after eating them and that’s not a healthy relationship to food. Also the whole “clean eating”: unless you’re talking about eating after taking a shower there’s really no such thing. Talking about eating clean implies there’s an opposite that’s “dirty” or “unhealthy” and back we go to labelling the foods.

      1. Lucy says:

        This! 100% THIS! You don’t know how lucky you are to be able to eat all food groups. You don’t need to cut out anything unless you are allergic to it, or have a medical condition like coeliac’s. Some people just keep cutting out food groups to lose weight until their diet is completely restricted, and it’s heartbreaking. You have the option to enjoy any foods you like to eat, so enjoy them! Balance and moderation is more important.

  26. Elena Penny says:

    I don’t think you are eating too much, maybe try to cut out your snacks though if you feel like you’re eating too much and see how you feel? I tend to snack a lot and have stopped and realized I wasn’t really hungry, so I only have a snack when I cannot make it to the next week because I know not eating enough is bad as well

    1. Elena Penny says:

      Next meal*😂

  27. Madelyn says:

    Cassey, you have come so far with your mindset and I am so proud of you for that! It is so hard to train your mind to be more positive, isn’t that sad but so true. I would certainly cut out dairy- it’s not made for our bodies or healthy for them either. I love your updates/blog posts, keep inspiring girl! You are loved. You are brave. You are wonderful!

  28. Dina says:

    I think you’re eating too much. Look up Dr. Fung on YouTube, insulin is your enemy.

  29. Don says:

    Did u get paid for the keto
    Ice cream shoutout

  30. Salmouche says:

    I think this fad keto thing is messing up people’s minds… Cassey, no matter how much avocados are healthy (and god know how much I love them), they are still FATS… and if you want to lose weight, you have to cut down calories… I can see that you snack a lot, maybe you should eat 3 good meals and leave the snacking aside… and each some almonds or a fruit when hunger strikes in… I too struggle with portion control and feel like I am always hungry… Also, I noticed you eat a LOT of processed things, even though they are labeled as healthy and low-cal, they are still processed (the sausage, the ice-cream, etc…) maybe try to go a bit more towards the wholesome route, maybe it will help. Good luck!

  31. KaylaD says:

    I’d definitely work on cutting out dairy. If I consume to enough consistently I start to notice the pounds piling on and my stomach blowing up more than usual. 🙂 Plus, dairy causes a lot of inflammation. I’ve been a vegetarian for almost 10 years and love it. Working on getting back to the plant-based(no dairy, no eggs, no meat, and no oils) lifestyle I was on 3-4 years ago. I was my fittest I ever been and was 10-15lbs less than I am now(which I’m working on losing now). Thank you for inspiring me to do the 90 day challenge by the way! Even bought the journal the other day(can’t wait for it to come in the mail!) and started my own fitness account on Instagram. Thank you for being so inspiring Cassey! Been following you for years! 🙂

  32. Inga says:

    There’s something peculiar I noticed about american homes vs. european homes various times. You american guys are really fond of naked walls, aren’t you? Here literally everyone has multiple pieces of art hanging on every wall in some sort of arrangement. And I’m talking about paintings or photos, not some macramee hanging or motivational saying or letters and stuff. Seems to be a cultural thing and it always feels odd looking at pictures like the one of Cassey’s office.
    Anyway, I like the new wall as it is less blank and the pattern is inspiring 🙂

    1. Laura says:

      Yes, it looks naked. 😄

  33. CareActive says:

    Generally, when we start Keto, it seems like we are just left with limited options. But here I found many. Thanks for sharing such a delicious blog.

  34. Lacey says:

    I wouldn’t worry to much yet, I always way significantly more on my period and then it goes back to normal once I am off. It may just be because of that. You are doing great! ^_^

  35. Rach says:

    Love these comments as these are girls geniuely helping another girl out to hit her goals ❤

  36. Katy says:

    Maybe swap the cheese for boiled eggs with mustard or salt? I like the high protein and high fat snack to stay satisfied but the dairy maybe upsetting your stomach!

    Also to get things moving maybe try mint green tea unsweetened or dandelion tea or lavender tea. Yogi tea company makes all of those! I drink a cup if I’m feeling especially bloated

    1. blogilates says:

      Thanks for the tips!

  37. Lucy says:

    Gosh girl, if that’s overeating…! Remember you are active and workout pretty much every day, and we need to eat to function! But yes, like others have said, it looks like you drink a lot of calories, too, which doesn’t always give you nutrients. What’s wrong with water? I’d also agree with cutting down meat and finding more vegetarian sources of protein (but I’m veggie, so I’m biased…) – it’s good for us to not eat so much, especially processed meats like sausage and burgers, and better for the planet, too!

  38. Heather says:

    It’s probably the dairy…that and eating late at night. Your last meal should be at least 2-3 hours before you go to bed. Especially if you have digestive issues, cheese is NOT your friend. (I try not to comment on other people’s diets, but when I read that you’re backed up and gaining, I was like “cheese.” 😆) It also seems like you drink a lot of your calories (matcha drinks, etc). I agree with one of the posters above who suggested you may be taking in more calories than you realize, and also to drink more water. Water will help push through the food baby. Also, yes, ditch the meat and replace it with fish (or Tofu, or beans).
    I hate counting calories too, but I agree with the poster above who suggested you might be consuming more than you realize. Maybe instead of counting them every day, just go back through your journal and count the calories from a few days and see what the average is? Then you can go from there.
    Tl;dr: Cut the cheese; don’t eat after 8pm; drink more water; keep being awesome

  39. Nnewiam says:

    Hum… I know your ice cream is labeled KETO, but there are 8g. of saturated fats (really bad fats, compared to mono- and poly- fats, such as olive oil or coconut oil) out of 75g.!! That’s aweful, we couldn’t have that in France, I think. 7g. of sodium is equally bad. If you have too much salt in your system, then you retain water. No weight loss. Plus it’s really dangerous overall, in the long term. If this were sea salt I would not be bothering you, but this is refined salt, as dangerous as refined sugar… the problem with all these KETO products, and weight-loss designed products in general, is that big companies (or small and local ones :)) add SO MUCH SALT to bring the illusion of flavourness. This is truly dangerous, as it only replaces sugar (which is bad, we all know that) with salt, dangerous for you in another way. Quit sodium and have sea sat, or natural salt at least!! Then you’ll get those minerals you need 🙂

    1. Allison says:

      I agree with this. But I’m a big fan of always trying to make copycat recipes at home, so rarely do I buy ice cream (also being lactose intolerant helps). I’m not much on the Keto bandwagon, but I just froze 5 mangos and blended them to make mango sorbet. The only ingredient is mango. I’m not going to judge the keto diet cause I know some people like it, but I find just eating good whole foods and exercising regularly is a great, sustainable way to maintain weight. And no companies are tricking you with fad/health processed junk.

  40. Jacqueline says:

    Cut the cheese. Dairy can make you feel bloated and your body still has to try to break down enzymes and lactose. Fish is good too; have that at least 2 days a week!

  41. Nadine says:

    I actually don’t think you’re overeating, especially if you consider your workouts. But maybe it’s too much fat in your meals. Although it’s the “good“ fat, maybe the all the nuts and avocados are too mich for your body. You could change some snacking to berries or kiwis and enjoy homemade tomato sauce instead of guac.
    But I’m really cheering you on!

  42. Naomi says:

    Yeah, so this is why so many people were worried about you. Eat to nourish your body and soul – mainly nutritionally dense and whole foods. Follow the 80/20 rule, so you don’t beat yourself up when you enjoy that soul food. Move and get those endorphins going. Forget about the scale, forget about being “good”. Just live. Trust me, this is the way to be healthy in a holistic way. You may reach your “perfect” body goals in 90 days. You may not. Even if you do, if you can’t maintain this health kick for the rest of your life – you will cycle back again. And again. And again. Just breathe. Relax. Your body is the least interesting and valuable thing about you.

    1. Alison says:

      Yes ! All of this. Plus every time we diet or restrict we push the body to fight back and gain even more in return. Or we binge as a biological response to restricting. And everyone saying she is eating too much is just plain scaring me. Our society is a scary place.

  43. YeasminAlo says:

    Girl what about your hydration game 🙄? It’s not point😑 You need to drink water to flash out those toxin 😒

    1. itsnotluziel says:

      She already said that she’s not tracking water because she has no problem with drinking enough intuitively

  44. Laura says:

    I think cheese and nuts are a strong combination. Do it only one of this. And snacking in general it is. Eat a fresh fruit instead.

  45. AnitaMaja says:

    Well, I went on my anniversary mini vacation and TOTALLY LOST IT. But all your talk of having good “why,” sunk in. I have great whys. I just need to talk to myself more.
    And your progress stalling is helping me! I weigh 13 pounds more than you do. I gained weight on vacation and lowered my goal because you made me brave. So you want to lose 12 pounds and I want to lose 20!

    1. AnitaMaja says:

      I follow Jorge cruises book cruise control and he plans my macros, so i’m Happy with macros. Also, 4) close your kitchen at 7:00 is also an option for tweaking your program.