Why I feel so guilty | Day 4 of 90

Yesterday was my self care Sunday! Took a dance class, an aerial hoop class, got a facial, and hung out with a girl friend of mine! So much fun! Side note: Have you ever taken aerial hoop? Imagine doing spins and hanging on a really hard and unforgiving hula hoop from the ceiling for an hour. My hands pretty much got ripped open. Don’t really think it’s my thing ;P

Anyway, self care days are amazing, but I always feel a little guilty when I take time for myself. Do you ever feel that way? Especially when you have people depending on you? I know it sounds so silly, but I am afraid that Sam will be bored and go hungry without me!!! Hahaha. I know, I know…it’s stupid.

Anyway, it’s like some weird, nonsensical mental block that keeps me from fully enjoying myself. You know how when you were single, you probably did whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, and however you wanted? I feel like the guilt thing has made me double think what I can and can’t do because I now have a partner to consider. Not a bad thing – just a different, new-ish thing.

Sam has never made me feel guilty about doing stuff for myself. In fact, he encourages me to take classes, get massages, and hang out with friends. That’s why I know this guilt problem is something that is in my own head. I am a people pleaser (hence why I let people’s opinions of me sway the way I act – NOT GOOD, working on it…) and that is where all of this guilt stems from.

I feel guilty when I don’t get into work earlier than everyone else, even if I’m late because I’m working off site.

I feel guilty for not attending a party, even if I’m missing it because I am exhausted and sick.

I feel guilty when other people feel bad about themselves, even if it’s not my responsibility to be in charge of their happiness.

I feel guilty when someone else makes a mistake, even if it’s not my fault and there’s no way I could have prevented it!


I did some research and found that women are actually more prone to feelings of guilt! Women and girls have been trained since the beginning of time to be submissive, adaptable, giving, and nurturing creatures that are expected to be polite and agreeable at all times. We’ve been trained to smile, not ask questions, and not hurt anybody’s feelings – even if it means that our feelings will be hurt in the process.

So…if you ever feel unnecessarily guilty, know that it’s not your fault. You have been subconsciously influenced by thousands of years of human behavior. And without a choice, we are all a product of our society and our culture.

Luckily, with fitness and food, I have learned to shed that guilt through years of self work, and just being conscious of what I was feeling and why I was feeling that way. I ended up figuring out these 2 truths:

I used to think that workouts only counted if you struggled and went super beast mode. But the truth is…You don’t have to feel like you’re dying to get an effective work out in.

Understanding and practicing this truth helped me embrace difficult workouts that I’m not naturally good at, like CrossFit and running. Accepting that I didn’t have to be the fastest or the strongest liberated me, and allowed me to focus on the purpose of the workout – which was to enjoy the exercise, not to win a competition against my classmates!

I used to think that eating “bad” food meant you had no self control. But the truth is…Self control is being able to eat whatever you want as long as you choose to own it, enjoy it, and move on.

This was a huge one. Giving myself the RIGHT to enjoy food allowed me to truly experience different cultures while on vacation, instead of always getting the salad and complaining that the food was meh. So now, I eat what I choose and I don’t let an ounce of guilt enter my system because I’m not gonna let anyone or anything ruin my meal.


I am so happy that I have been staying on track! No temptations – yet. Ha. Writing studiously in my Fit Journal, taking pics of all my food, and updating you guys daily keeps me SUPER focused. You don’t know how much I needed this structure. It’s really working for me. The pounds and the body fat % are actually going down!! Crazy! But I don’t wanna get too excited because from experience, I expect it to stall soon.

After our facials, my friend Julie and I both ordered matching shrimp salads from this place called Sausal. OMG. It was PERFECTION. The salad was $17 so for LA, I thought maybe I’d get like 3 or 4 shrimps, but get this – THEY GAVE ME 8 SHRIMPS!!!! I was so happy I didn’t have to ration my protein like I normally do in every other salad. In fact, I had more shrimp left than veggies at the end! That’s when you know it’s a good salad! Anyone ever get to the end of a salad and have no meat left because you didn’t ration correctly? Ugh. Like, it’s actually the worst.

Ok this pic doesn’t look great, but whatever. This isn’t a food blogger’s blog. I’m just snapping things with my phone to keep a record and not worrying about the aesthetics of each meal. The point is to make this 90 day journey as simple and effective as possible.

Above is a paleo sausage I got from Costco. Again, label it paleo and you have me sold. But at the same time don’t label mushrooms vegan because ARE YOU KIDDING ME. This paleo sausage is actually REALLY good. I put a dollop of guac in the corner and ate it with a handful of butter lettuce from Trader Joes.

For dinner, I had left over turkey chili. SO GOOD!!! And then I created this keto pancake flatbread situation that actually turned out REALLY DELICIOUS! I mixed some almond flour, one egg, and some mozzarella cheese in a bowl until it turned into a batter, and then I put it on a pan, flipped it, and voila I MADE A KETO FLATBREAD. It actually tasted bready and amazing. I might make it again tonight.

For those of you who want the recipe, I don’t have the exact measurements because I kinda just cook by feeling. Hahaha. So if I try again tonight, I will measure it out – if I remember to do it that is.

73 thoughts on “Why I feel so guilty | Day 4 of 90”

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  1. Laura says:

    I’m about to embark on my own 90 day journey and I’m re-reading your journey day by day and I’m honestly relived to see someone else who loves to snack. I am huge on snacks and I feel that that’s what gets me every time. I always feel like I can’t snack at all or that it’s wrong. However I’m happy to see that you are doing what works for you. And it’s encouraging to see you do it for you, so I know I can also do things for me.

  2. TK says:

    Hi Cassey! I’ve just ordered your 90 day journal so am reading your entries to keep up the motivation while I wait for it to arrive this week 🙂 Quick question- When you log your workouts in the jouirnal, are you checking off the different boxes based on what the class did or you did a workout to touch on those areas in addition to the workout classes? Looking forward to starting this challenge and learning more about myself!

    1. blogilates says:

      Hey TK! The boxes are for which muscle group you focused on that day. Hope that helps!

  3. Saraahx says:

    (I’m sooo behind your blog posts on this 90-day journey but I’ll comment anyway) I do feel you on that people’s pleaser! I’ve learned to say no over the years but I still care about people’s happiness, their thoughts and well-being. I like the point you made by saying that women have been programmed to feel guilt.
    I relate so hard with the hard workouts. I love intense workouts, giving them my all, almost unnecessarily exhausting myself because what’s the point of an easy workout session? Yup, there should be no competition and NO shame!!! Maybe you also feel that way because you’re a trainer? I’m glad you chose to enjoy your meals rather than being sad and frustrated – BIG WIN! BIG VICTORY!
    Your meals look good, and that keto flatbread looks delish!!!

  4. helloelisa says:

    This guilt thing I realized a few days before this post, that I’ve been so strict to myself because I love to please my parents (according to my life decisions off course ) by being good in every aspect of my life and I’ve realized that I pushed myself too hard unnecessarily and I’m trying to ease a little, at least now I know I’m not the only one fighting this! thanks for sharing Cassey!

  5. TrainingToHuntDemons says:

    I am absolutely loving reading your blog because your personality and body needs are so similar to mine. I am the same with dairy and sugar ect so it’s really awesome to know I’m not alone. I’m also similar in the guilt and control area. I also have anxiety and it wasn’t until I went through a number of therapists that I figured out that my need for control and taking everyone’s issues onto myself, (body, life, relationships), was all related back to my anxiety too. I thought I had multiple seperate issues when in fact, it was all the same issue. I’m working on it but I struggle every day and reading this blog is super helpful because I know I’m not alone in this. Thanks Cassey, you’re doing amazing x

  6. britneyleighs says:

    Lyra gets better girl, and if you don’t love the hoop, try another apparatus! Pole is super fun too <3

  7. Feeling guilty is feeling resistance. I try to make it a challenge to make myself adaptable to change–like, can you sit with this discomfort? Because if you can, that means you’re gaining MENTAL STRENGTH! Instead of physical strength because my eGo’s hurt at the moment that I simply can’t run as long or went as intense as I did last time in my workouts. Does that help?

  8. johuang says:

    This blog is totally me. When you were describing all the aspects of guilt, I felt like you knew what was going on in my head. I often forget that it’s not my job to make sure everyone is happy at all times and that I don’t have to feel guilty for saying no. Thank you for sharing what you learn!!

  9. Nina says:

    Hey you, I am doing Aerial Hoop for a while now and I am telling you it gets better on the knees and hands. Its addictive. I soooo love and recommend it. Soooo happy you tried it. Always trying new things keeps me going. Loving your total honesty. Stay strong and ignore the haters. Its your body. Xo from Austria

  10. Aida says:

    Following this and kinda doing it with you, I LOVE your uncensored feelings, WOOHOO I’m tired of the overly politically correct articles that basically say nothing lol.

    Thank you for this and good luck for the road ahead, you’re not doing this alone!

    xx Aida

  11. Olivia S says:

    I totally get the whole guilt thing. I feel like I am sinning whenever I eat ice cream or something of the like. You helped me see that I really need to work on that. And don’t listen to those people that try to bring you down. What you are doing is truly inspiring and, when I have the time in my life, I may try it someday. It is hard to do all the things that you are doing when I have High school and Cross Country and Track. I have a SUPER busy schedule. Anyway, I wish you the best, Cassey!

  12. Nicole says:

    Oh gosh Cassey, I label food as bad and good too. I think that eating the bad foods means I have no control and am weak. Thank you for sharing this. Though I label foods for a different reason. It is because I know some foods can affect my skin condition, eczema but I do not know for sure. However, I still fear food and I fear it more than I did years ago. I am not afraid of gaining weight, in fact, I need to gain weight but I limit the foods I eat because I am scared that eating the bad foods will cause a flare or not benefit my body.

  13. Amy B says:

    I used to feel guilty about doing stuff for myself until I realized that if I don’t love/ take care of myself, I won’t do the same for others. It’s no one’s business what you do for yourself so never apologize for it! Self care not only helps you physically but mentally which is uber important! And yay for the keto flatbread! I’m making all things ‘bread’ with egg/cheese/almond flour these days. Waffles in all sorts of different flavors is my newest favorite!

  14. Ania says:

    I also have a problem with feeling guilty… I was raised in a home where working was in the first place, I think it wasn’t bad, we live in a village, so there was a lot to do. Even now, when I want to do something for myself, or even not do anything, just relax I feel so guilty, when my mom visits me an see, that I’m doing nothing…

  15. Madeega says:

    I so missssed this Cassey! thank you for always inspiring us! Im joining this 90 days with you!!

  16. Diana says:

    Maybe I’m selfish, but I don’t feel guilty about that stuff. I do feel guilty that I am better off than others. But not for taking time for myself. I live alone, so I do that all the time. Food doesn’t really make me feel guilty, but I know I need to make better decisions about limiting my sugar intake and increasing more nourishing foods like vegetables. But that’s about it.

  17. Ashly says:

    Thanks for being so open about this! Love these daily posts. I’ve always had the same bad relationship with food, with guilt every time I went over on calories. Recently I found out that the reason I feel so tired and can’t shed pounds was because I eat too little and exercise too hard. Eating more to lose weight is completely backwards and made the guilt return every time I added calories. However, over the last month, I feel so amazing it made me realize how unhealthy guilt can be. Let’s all work through this together!!

  18. Katie says:

    I totally feel the guilt thing too! I work 3 jobs/7 day a week/10 shifts a week and my bf is in school and works as well and I feel guilty when I want to take a yoga class in the evening like if he is home then I should be home too (even though I would just be sitting)
    I love reading these blog posts, they are real and from the heart <3

  19. Kim says:

    What do you suggest to eat if I can’t eat any fish?

  20. Peeta says:

    I am LOVING these daily updates! Please don’t stop! Sending you lots of love! <3

  21. Kat says:

    That little salad was $17?!?! I cannot believe how expensive things are in LA!

  22. Kokoro says:

    Wow, thank you for doing this journaling. It is really comforting to read through. :,) Stay strong Cassie, we are rooting for you for you! 😀 Fighting!

  23. Heather says:

    I’m trying so hard to get over feeling guilty if I don’t have time for a workout. There are some days that I’m so just busy I can’t and then I feel guilty and when the next day roles around I feel like I have to go full beast mode. I’m really trying to work away from that guilt feeling because sometimes life happens!

  24. Andrea says:

    I’m so glad you shared this guilt post because I feel guilty for feeling guilty even! If that makes sense, haha. And I feel like it does increase when I have a spouse and when my children were born. I felt like it only made sense for me to put myself on the back burner for everyone I cared for. But as I learned in nursing school with burnout, if you dont refuel, you wont have the energy to take care of others let alone yourself!
    And I absolutely will still have this terrible mindset, that I need to be dying to have a good workout. Wasnt good at all. Still working on it but it’s such a relief to hear that even coming from you who is big into fitness, struggles/d with this concept. Keep up the amazing blogs and work!

  25. Hi Cassey!

    First of all, thank you for all that you do! I’ve been following you and doing your workouts since around 2012.

    I feel like I can relate with you on so many levels. When I was in college I had an eating disorder and generally just hated my body. I remember doing all kinds of strict diets and worked out almost every day. When I saw no results, I hated my body. Food guilt was also a big problem I had. And on the topic of guilt, I too have a sensitive conscience. Which can be both a good and bad thing!

    Fast forward, I am the happiest I’ve ever been with myself! About 4 years ago I decided to go vegan and this actually helped my problem so much! This along with growing very strongly in my faith, helped me realized I had a very unhealthy relationship with food and my body. I learned so much about what eating healthy really means and it doesn’t mean counting calories or restricting yourself. I also learned so many new recipes from all over the world and discovered exotic fruit and vegetables which was super fun! I was vegan for two years because eventually I just felt bad about imposing my food restrictions on other people and was rejecting their hospitality (guilty conscience!). For instance my mother and law would cook me separate meals every time I came over for dinner!

    After switching back to eating meat, at home I would prepare whole ingredient meals (and desserts of course!) and then when I was out I would try to go the healthier route but also allow myself to splurge once in a while! Working out became something I loved and craved because I wasn’t forcing myself to do something I couldn’t achieve!

    Today I face a new but wonderful problem, of trying to eat healthy and take care of my body during pregnancy! On top of that my husband and I are missionaries in Guatemala and live in a house where we eat what we’re served. It would actually be extremely rude if we didn’t! Luckily the food is delicious and mostly whole ingredients. I’m about 12 weeks now, and have realized even more, that sometimes when my body wants something I should just eat it, guilt free and no questions asked! Of course this doesn’t mean consuming those prohibited foods during pregnancy, but when I want ice cream, I’m gonna get some! It’s also been difficult because I’ve been having really bad nausea and have had aversions to vegetables! A midwife friend assured me that the baby doesn’t need very much in the first trimester and I can focus on my diet in the second trimester. This is all just to say there’s no need to obsess and worry about what I’m eating, and to be forgiving with myself.

    So I think when it comes to treating yourself, if you do it in a reasonable and balanced manner (which seems like you are!) it can help recharge your batteries so you can better offer yourself to others. Whether it’s that ice cream that you’ve been craving, or that much needed massage. Im a huge proponent of everything in moderation! Also the great thing about marriage is that you have the accountability and support of your spouse, so this should help with the guilt factor.

    Thank you again for everything and good strength with your journey!

    Love from Guate,


  26. Kathleen says:

    I have been following your journey and I usually don’t comment because people are quick to attack others, but as a registered Dietitian & vegan for 14 yrs with perfect blood work, no bruising as you claimed to have during a “vegan diet” I wonder why you keep insulting a vegan lifestyle. Mushrooms are Vegan as are all vegetables.. why is this a bad thing?? Why is the word vegan implied as bad, but a diet isn’t? Only long term eating habits produce results for the long haul. Veganism is a lifestyle not a “diet”. If people get sick on a vegan diet or ANY diet including the much loved paleo diet it is due to not eating the right foods. Eating dead animals is never “healthy”. I suggest reading the book ” How Not to Die” . It may educate you and others on the unhealthy consumption of animals and animal products aka “cheese”, “eggs”, etc..

  27. Rebekka says:

    How do I get those free planners?🙂

  28. Rebecca says:

    How do I get those free planners?🙂

  29. Rebecca says:

    Can you please do a 100 arm/triceps challenge?! It would be so GREAT!!💕

  30. Christina says:

    Just wanted to say, that I think you‘re amazing. Keep going. You get there and don‘t you dare listening to those negativ poop-heads out there. They‘re just unhappy with their own tiny lifes and can‘t handle it, if someone dares to do something they wish they were brave to do it.

  31. Angela Y says:

    Thanks for being real Casey.

  32. Ame Liah says:

    I relate to this SO much. It is so hard for me to justify to myself to take time for MYSELF instead of contributing to something else like the household, work, etc. It is 100% in my head as well, because my husband is ALWAYS telling me to do things for myself and he will never make me feel guilty about it. Not sure how to overcome this guilt, but I love reading your blogs and knowing I can relate to you in more ways than one. Thank you for sharing your genuine self without apology.

  33. Sweetiepie says:

    I definitely relate to the guilt thing, my kids and husband define how I plan my day, but as we get older and the kids leave, I find that I am easier on myself for my own time, and less guilty and actually in a better mood to handle the rest of the week. Loving your blog posts.

  34. Leagh says:

    Your keto flatbread/pancake looks super good!!

  35. Maria Breton says:

    I totally feel guilty about my family….sometimes, even if I am eating something delicious by myself, lol! I know that is crazy but that is the way we women feel, however, I don’t feel guilty for feeling guilty if htat makes sense, I just accept it and move on! Have you all a great day!

  36. Ana Eliza says:

    I relate 100% to that guilt feeling, and that’s something I’m working on therapy… Although I don’t have a partner, I have my family leaving with me and I feel sometimes that all my choices (money-wise included) affect them. I’m realy lookinf foward to keep reading your posts, they help me so much to understand what I’m feeling too. Lots of love from Brazil <3

  37. Roz says:

    Love your transparency and honesty! From one of your almost-50 followers: My mom taught me a long time ago that guilt is a choice. We can choose to acknowledge the feeling but then just do the next thing.

    I love the definition that highlights the difference between guilt and conviction. Guilt makes us feel like crap and doesn’t give us a solution, conviction makes us question our actions, but offers a solution alongside it. Anyway, you’re doing a great job figuring life out just like the rest of us!

    The plus side of moving into middle age as a woman, is that you no longer give a bleep what anyone thinks!
    Love you Cassie, you keep it up!

  38. Deborah Van Burken says:

    Wauw, when i started reading this blog i was thinking my myself: wow, why is she so hard for herself. And then i realised i do exactly the same thing! Always feeling guilty when i choose to say no because i want soms me-time or i’m actually sick!
    This was a real eye opener!

  39. Beatriz Mingol says:

    As I was reading about guilt, I was thinking “yes, that a women’s problem! we’ve been trained that way!” and then you explained it haha

  40. Hannah says:

    I TOTALLY understand the feeling guilty leaving a partner without you while you do activities part! I have been married for almost a year now and I am learning that it is okay fo have plans that don’t perfectly match up with my husbands schedule. I used to think that I could only hang out with friends when my husband was also doing something so that he wouldn’t be home alone without me. Hahah it sounds silly, however I am learning that some time apart is actually good for both of us! We can fill some of our natural needs of connection with friends or with time by ourselves! I would say it strengthens both of us and then we come back together so excited to bw reuinited! It is all a learning process, it was nice to read that I am not alone in feeling guilty about this sometimes! Thanks for sharing! Much love for you in this journey! Thanks for including us 🙂

  41. Julia says:

    Really looking forward to your posts! You actually inspired me to go on a similar journey 🙂 I want to use the remainder of the year to get in the best shape of my life, both physically, mentally and even spiritually. Thank you for all that you do, I wish you all the love!

  42. Lilith_Maundrell says:

    I love your journey and selfreflexion and that you sharing it with us!
    I don’t quite get the people hating and shameing your for this, because if people get offended by it, they just shoudn’t look at it.
    I want to say, that I think you look really beautiful. But I also get how it feels when other people tell you, you don’t have to loose weight but you just don’t feel that’s right for you. It’s YOUR body and so it’s YOUR decision. And I’m very excited to watch you do just your own thing, bebcause it’s right for YOU.

    Through my journey I lost nearly 22 lbs on my lowest but gained at least 8 lbs back as I was eating normal. Now I’m always swinging 6 lbs up and down depending on season and my current eating. But I’m okay with it now.
    I did your PIIT28 1.0 paared with the 28DayReset and became so much stronger. I love food too much to maintain constant healty eating, so I’m back to my normal eating but as you say, I’m not guilty of it because I own and enjoy every bite of it. I’m currently on PIIT28 3.0 and I’m loving how strong it makes me and how much fun it is although I’m dripping in sweat XD
    And of course I challenge myself in addition with the 100glutechallange because you inspired me to push beyond my limits!
    Everytime I do one of your workout videos you help me push beyond what I thought I could do and help me every day to improve myself. I’m sure that your 90day journey will also inspire me to become a better version of myself. And if not, if there are things I would disagree, I would just think “so that’s HER way, mine is another” and go on. So I wish you all the best with your journey and hope it will get you feeling as amazing as you always make us feel!

  43. Lucy says:

    I love that you did an aerial class! I was so excited when I saw it on your IG story! I did aerial for about a year when I was living in the UK and I seriously miss it fit for strong and empowered I felt. If you didn’t like hoop, why not try silks? The fabric is a lot more forgiving on your hands so you won’t get calluses (you need to wear long leggings though, cause the friction burns are REAL if you don’t!) Chalk helps as well whilst your grip is getting stronger 🙂
    Good luck on your journey, and don’t feel guilty about taking time for you – you deserve it!

  44. Raquel says:

    Omg! I remembered my first hoop class, I loved it!!! I miss it too much (I injured my shoulder) just keep going, that callous will work in your favor.

    I’ve been married for 6 years and been with my husband for 10 years, I know what you feel! But as a senior in marriage 😅 I can tell you that it’s good for both of you to have a life apart from each other, if not you will drive yourselves crazy! It happens to us sometimes, just enjoy your time apart and your time together.
    I’ve been following you since 2013

  45. Laura says:

    I feel that guilt too. My boyfriend say me to do things that I love more, my mom aunt tell me to visit her at country side for one weekend and I told her: I don’t know…what I’ll do with my dog, what is my boyfriend tought if I’m going…but all this is in my mind. So…this is a good exercise for today, I will not refuse a great oportunity if it’s come. 😀

  46. jeanna says:

    I like the idea of the flatbread pancake, I might try that.

  47. Melissa says:

    Cassey I am so happy you are blogging again. I didn’t realize how much I miss reading it. Keep going!!!

  48. Beth says:

    Cassey I f##king love this 90 day no bullsh#t journey. Fierce Cassey makes me so happy. I have also been following & loving blogilates since 2013. It is the only workout that I have been able to semi-consistently put into my schedule. Wishing you all the love & happiness during your journey, as always you are a complete inspo for my own 🥰🥰🥰🥰

  49. Emma says:

    This is so great. I can’t wait to follow along for your journey! I haven’t been this excited for a blog in years. Thank you for doing this and sharing how you feel!

  50. Pavithra says:

    Your blog is helping me to learn about Who is Cassey and what sort of a person she is and the result of reading the above makes me realise that You are humble and a very sweet person… I love the keto bread recipe …. got to try … I love the combination of almond flour, egg and mainly my favourite cheese mozzarella… I really love to know more about your innovative ideas

  51. Jessica says:

    I’m glad to hear someone else saying it. I ALWAYS feel guilty about EVERYTHING. The bad thing is my kids have picked up on that and are the world’s best guilt-trippers. haha
    Your chili reminds me of ratatouille. SO GOOD.
    My sister and I have talked about how it’s almost easier to not eat sometimes. Because you’re right, self control is eating what ever you want but have control and making good choices. Not always easy. I bet you’re feeling great and on a roll!
    August is rough here, we have to birthdays and an anniversary and school to prep for (I homeschool our 5kiddos). But I didn’t let that be an excuse to let me indulge the whole time nor did I not celebrate. I have been striving for my own balance and doing it for me. We got this.

  52. Amy M. says:

    This week, I decided to take a couple of days off beyond my regular two days off and I have felt somewhat guilty. However, I realize that it is important to rest and take time for yourself.

  53. Lexi says:

    I’m glad to hear that things are sounding a bit more at ease for you! I definitely have the guilt problem and really wish I didn’t. A lot of the time my fiance has to remind me to take care of myself but I always fear that I am neglecting him.

    The food looks great!!! I worry sometimes that my portion will never be enough and a fear of going hungry, so I over eat and get more guilt… but your plates are giving me some good ideas to try out! 🙂

  54. Lau says:

    I know the guilt feeling, it is the worst 🙁

    1. Lau says:

      Love reading your blog posts 😀

  55. J.j. says:

    Enjoy that gift of throwing ingredients together. That will be your best asset through all this!

  56. Connie says:

    I feel like in times that these, it’s okay to be selfish and put ourselves first. We have to fill our cups first before we pour into others. And I like how supportive Sam is of doing your own thing. It’s nice to have those moments for you.

  57. Elizabeth says:

    My last comment I guess wasn’t supportive enough to make it past moderation lol. Its true though, while there are many, VERY UNDERSTANDABLE reasons for wanting to lose weight. Because you live a very visible life and that is scary, health isn’t a valid reason because losing weight is not connected to health. Especially maintaining a low weight comparative to where your body naturally wants to go. But I’ll say again, I DONT think wanting to lose weight because gaining is scary is a bad thing. It says a lot about our society right? And your body in a lot of ways attaches to your livelihood. Thanks

  58. killmotion says:

    I know about the guilt but in over eating, but I try to at least make myself say it’s ok if I do it one day a week, as long as I don’t do it every day. So I usually have one meal in a week where I really indulge and don’t stress because I’m working my butt, my arms and my abs the next day. And if I mow my yard in the August sun and get another workout in that way well that’s that meal burned off! If my stress is lower, so is my cortisol which is what makes you hold onto that extra fat, if I remember correctly. It’s truly hard to lower stress for me, I think I came out of the womb anxious. But I do try, I’m feeling optimistic and I love reading about your daily progress!

  59. Hayoung says:

    It melted my heart when you said self-control is really being able to enjoy the journey of taking care of yourself and if you choose to do things, you should own it and enjoy the every bits of it. I used to think (and still do but I am getting better!) that i had to feel exhausted, tired, extremely hungry and devastated to go a day with dieting and exercising. If I do feel such feelings, then I’d know that I did something good for myself. But in fact, not only my body, but my mind was falling apart. I lost the meaning of self-care because I was actually practicing self-beating instead. And the funny thing is that my body got into the survival mode and tried to save myself, souls and even all the fat to keep me alive. My body knew better than my conscious!
    Life is too short to beat myself up. If I am not the one to take care of myself, who will? But if the journey is to punish myself and neglect my own needs and joy, why should I hold on to it?
    Cassey, thank you for sharing part of your life that resonates so much with me and a lot of people who fail to take care of themselves. Today I’ve learned to choose joy during this fitness journey because I deserve to enjoy every part of my day to become better and happier version of myself tmrw. 💛

  60. Blanche says:

    I am starting a 90 day journey as well! I’m focusing on loving my self and not beating up myself for simple things. #btw, I love your content and hard work! You push me every day to get up early and workout! I’m only 16 but i want to always stay in shape and release stress, so thank you for being consistent and uploading everyday!

  61. Jeanette says:

    While you are out enjoying me time, Sam can relax and fart in the living room if he wants. As long as some time is together time, and you make the most of it, you will both have a better marriage when you take me time too! Your balance is inspiring me to pay more attention to my own. I like this side of you as much as the trainer side . Thanks for sharing!

  62. Rahshemah says:

    I feel guilty about the fact that I spend years making promises to myself that I did not keep. I feel guilty because last summer I vow to get in shape and lose the unwanted 20 punds. So, moving forward this year I started keeping the promises I make and now I am on the road to better health. Take one day at a time.

    1. Adri says:

      Sometimes I feel guilty when I can’t finish a workout

  63. MacK says:

    Thanks for the “day in the life” perspective. This is what my clean eating would look more like IRL so definitely relatable, though the insta-glow of the food in Cheap Clean Eats does seem more appealing lol. I appreciate you being real. Non-vegan, but I’d never heard about the mushroom vegan controversy!

  64. Ixxen says:

    I know some people are touting the eating disorder and relapse thing but honestly you seem so happy! I’ve been around since ~2013 and it’s been a minute since you just blogged, had fun creating healthy foods and tried some new things. I can feel your happiness through your words. 90 days of dedicating yourself to some people may just be dieting, but it takes time to create change and habits. I’m sure you’ll come out of this not feeling like it was just to lose weight and bf%’s, but to find yourself again and I’m very happy for you! 🙂

  65. Kate says:

    Loving this blog Cassey! It’s keeping me positive and motivated through my own fitness journey. Thank you for sharing and I’m so proud of you and your progress so far! All my love ♥️

  66. Elizabeth says:

    As I’ve said in previous comments I think what a lot of people were looking for in commenting on your journey is why you want to lose weight. Again, you are a very healthy person, you workout and eat great etc. and it’s been shown that gaining weight or being in a larger body (which you are not, to be clear lol) are not signs of being unhealthy. So when those reasons for wanting to maintain a weight are taken away the ones left are the “diet culture” reasons, like appearance, wanting to fit in, the fact that you live in LA might be a factor, or the fear all of us have of becoming “fat” even though there’s nothing unhealthy about existing in a larger body. I think if that’s a motivation everyone would understand despite some judgy comments. Thanks.

    1. Elizabeth says:

      Because, honestly, current research does not support losing weight or trying to maintain weight as a factor in being healthy. And bodies gain weight as they get older. So the reason for wanting to maintain a very low body weight even if your body seems comfortable at a higher weight would boil down to something along the lines of what is listed above. Again, I don’t think wanting to lose weight because we’re afraid to gain weight is a bad thing. The world is hard and you live a very visible lifestyle that would shake most of us. So either way, I support you, because this is where you’re at and it’s valid. But I think using health reasons isnt really the truth.

    2. Kristina says:

      Actually, studies have shown that being just 5 kg over the optimum weight for your height decreases your lifespan by 30 minutes each day. It’s a cumulative effect so the more you weigh, the shorter your lifespan will be. Look up ‘microlife’ if you won’t take my word for it.

  67. Brigid says:

    I almost bought that sausage from Costco today but wasn’t sure how it would taste! I’ll get it next time! Love following your journey!

  68. anna says:

    hi cassey! what’s the ingredients to your keto pancakes?