Those Days When Social Media Makes You Soooo Insecure…

Hey guys!!

Okay, honesty time…

Have you ever seen someone on Instagram and thought, wow, I wish I looked like that…?

Because I sure have.

It’s sooo weird to be alive during this age of social media. Especially as a woman. I truly can’t fathom what it must be like as a kid or teenager and able to see SO much online so easily. Hey, I’m an adult and still fall into the trap of comparing myself to what I see on Instagram!! It’s so difficult not to. We’re being bombarded with so many images all the time. Beautiful people! Beautiful locations! Everything always looks perfect. And even though the rational part of us KNOWS nothing is ever perfect, that’s not what you think about when you’re browsing social media.

Instead, you do the comparison game. You know the one I’m talking about. You ask yourself a series of soul-crushing questions. Why doesn’t my body look like that? Why isn’t my relationship that perfect? Why am I not traveling the world? Why am I not living my dream life?

And then there’s the WHOLE OTHER aspect of likes and followers. Somehow, no matter how much I KNOW that these numbers don’t define me, I still get affected when I lose followers and when a picture I post doesn’t get as many likes as I think it “should” have. Oh gosh, just typing that out is so silly. But I needed to say it. Because it is RIDICULOUS! Numbers shouldn’t have so much power over us! Not on the scale and especially not online.

Remember, social media gives you a peek into one part of someone’s life. Just one teeny part. It’s like a blink. You see a glimpse. But then we become convinced this glimpse is representative of all other aspects.

I still don’t have all the answers on how to battle social media insecurity. Sometimes you need to take a break. Log off. Put the phone down. Be around people you love and write down a list of all your greatest strengths. Say a morning mantra in the mirror.

That person you wish you looked like? They have days when they are unhappy. They have days when they are sad and wish THEY could trade places with someone else. None of us are perfect. None of us have it all figured out. Instagram is often a highlight reel. It shows the best, you know? It doesn’t show the nights with puffy faces from crying. It doesn’t show the self-doubt. It doesn’t show failure.

There’s only one YOU. And I know, I know, that’s cheesy. But it’s true! And you never know, someone might be looking at you, either in real life or on social media, and wishing they could be more like you…

We all have so many gifts and talents to offer the world. Let’s try to not get caught up in the comparison game. Let’s try to remember social media is just that…social media.

You are more than an IG post. You are more than a snapshot. You are so, so much more.

I promise you.

How do you guys deal with social media insecurity? Is it something that ever bothers you or do you not pay it much attention?

  • I agree! I often compare myself to others and there is nobody who is so mean to me as I am….

  • Claudia

    Hi Cassey! I think it’s so hard to not think negative because it’s just so easy to slip into the trap of social media. I deleted all people who I don’t know in real life and now only have my real life friends as friends and people who REALLY inspire me and don’t knock me down. Someone like you ;) . TBH, I discovered that I can get sad by looking at the feeds of people I know because they just seem to be so perfect and flawless. I know that is not true. But there is just the feeling that they get so much attention and I get overlooked…
    I decided that I don’t want that to influence my life. I want to work for myself and become the person I always wanted to be. Fit, healthy, honest to myself, trustworthy, punctual, disciplined and prepared. Supportive and caring for others. I experienced that keeping my own word to myself gives me so much power and confidence because then I know I can trust myself! And this helps that I don’t care that much about other peoples Instagram feeds or social network life :)

  • Bells

    Amen Cassie! Girls, comparison is the key word of pride, even if that means undermining yourselves by thinking others are more than you are. Instead, be grateful God gave you a functional body and know that he created you, so don’t mock his creations, including yourself!

    Don’t compare yourself with someone else’s best! Those instagram pics are controlled and not showing the whole picture. Those people have things they dislike about themselves and endless nights of tears too, so love them, and love yourselves! <3 <3 <3 You are all worth it.

  • Nikki

    I find myself doing alot of comparison with IG and also other forms of social media. The self loathing is real…and sometimes it can take you to some pretty bad places in the way you think about yourself. I know that getting fit isnt so much about vanity its more about strength but still it is hard not to start feeling bad and insecure about myself when i am scrolling through the IG feed and seeing all these great looking women with six pack abs or killing it in their workouts..not that that is bad or anything, that is awesome for them..but it does make you feel bad about yourself if you dont look the way they do. How do you guys handle the pressure?

  • Safia

    Hey Cassey! I had an idea for a new Youtube series! How about an Education Series? There’s so much information out there about protein (how much do we need, what are the different types?), super foods, carbs (why do we need them?), vitamins, etc. I know you have a background in biology so maybe you could use that to help educate your audience about how a healthy lifestyle impacts your body and mind.

  • Krista

    Wow! I have been thinking this a lot lately! I’m an adult and I feel so insecure. I’ve been off Instagram for two weeks cause it made me feel awful about myself! It’s strange, I don’t see people looking like Insta in real life! We should remember that most pictures are photoshopped or filtered and from people who have been through plastic surgery, fillers, extensions and so many other stuff that isn’t natural. That is why I like you so much Cassey, you are natural real woman and we need more examples like you in the world!!

  • Hello Cassey!

    Long time follower here (since high school, basically 5 years omg)! I really love that you made this post because in August I deleted most of my social media apps. I realized that I was wasting too much time online and I needed to focus because I’m studying to get into a professional school. Last week, I kind of came to an epiphany of sorts; in this social media age, it’s treated like an expectation to have an online presence and stay connected with everyone else through as many platforms possible. And when I logged into my Instagram account for the first time in weeks, I realized that I followed all these people I knew in real life that I would never consider *close* friends. My best friends are the ones I go out of the way to contact through text and talk about how I’m doing, what I’m up to, etc. I got tired of having to create my “image” for all these viewers who don’t really know the real me. And once I realized that, I felt like a new person. I think it’s okay to leave social media if it’s bringing you down for whatever reason. It’s okay to focus on yourself and maintain the relationships most important to you. You are not expected to keep up with every other person’s ‘life’ just because the social media platforms are there to help you do so. Especially if you are always comparing yourself to others. Celebrate yourself and all that you have going for you! :)

  • Meghan Byrne

    Oh, my goodness! That is exactly what I needed to hear right now. I feel just HORRIBLE right now, but that just made it little bit better. Thank you.

  • Iliana

    Yes, Instagram makes people sad. I was sad and thats why I took the decision and I deleted the app from my smartphone. I am not gonna hide the fact that once in a day or two, I check a little the feed of my Insta on the internet. But now I feel more free and I don’t do the movement to catch my phone every 5 minutes to roll on Instagram. Like most people if not all, I was comparing my self with the others and ofc mostly with their appearance and secondly with their success and how they made it to life. Unfortunately, even though I was supposed to get motivated and try to eat more healthy or workout more or trying to have some personal success, the opposite was happening. I was feeling miserable, sad. And ofc this is not all Instagram’s fault. But everyday comparing your life to the others’ life, subconsciously this affects your everyday life. This new era of technology may help and give more quality to our lives, but for me it will transform people and the societies to unsociable and with no morals. thank you so much for this post! Kisses from Greece

  • MarkandSarah McConkie

    Aghhhh this is so true. I just recently took a week of keeping Instagram off my phone for this very reason. Taking a break helps, unfollowing stuff that makes me feel bad helps, and posting the occasional picture of when I ate a donut for breakfast or when my kid throws an epic tantrum at Target help me keep things real. It’s insane to hear that YOU ever feel insecure about anything Cassey–successful entrepreneur who is gorgeous and engaged and has so much that seems perfect–but I guess it’s a good reminder that we all are from time to time.

  • I couldn’t agree with you more, Cassie! Especially on social media, we’re able to selectively share the aspects of Our Lives. I’d like to share with you a video that I made.

  • Liberty

    Great post! its one of the reasons i stayed away from social media for a long time, now i just follow positive accounts that aren’t all aesthetically pleasing.

  • jess

    This is what I needed. This is what I need to read everyday. Thank you so much 💜.

  • Gabriella

    Oh my gosh, thank you for this. I have this problem all the time. I look at pictures and start comparing right away. Thank you, Cassey! You are amazing:) my life is so much better because of you.

    P.S. Please, please have Bethany Mota on the Sheroic Podcast!