Why I’m no longer ashamed of crying

I’m an emotional person. When I’m happy, I jump up and down, clap like a seal, and cry.  When I’m upset, my body starts to shake, my voice quivers, and I cry.  When I’m grateful, I smile and get glassy-eyed until I cry.  

I used to hate the fact that I showed too much emotion around people. But especially in business. My dad always told me that my emotions would get in the way of my success as an entrepreneur…that people wouldn’t take me seriously if I cried during a meeting or negotiation. Makes sense…

But…

I don’t cry in meetings or negotiations. I’m not fragile when it comes to situations where I know exactly what I want and what I need to do to get it. Reality has proven that my emotions have helped me succeed in business because it’s taught me to follow my heart.

Outside of business though…I cannot hold back the tears! It’s nothing to be ashamed of though because I’ve come to understand that emotions are a beautiful and very necessary part of the human experience. Tears are the liquid droplets of my soul that you get to see when I’m FEELING. 

Crying doesn’t mean I’m weak, it means I’m strong enough to share with you my vulnerability.

So if any of you out there are criers too – embrace it. It’s part of you! And it’s better than not feeling at all! Anyway, here’s a picture of me smiling and NOT crying because that’s a good look for me. πŸ˜‰ Any criers out there? 

  • Chloe alise

    Y e s! I cry so much! I don’t show it but I get teary eyed a lot in public doing everything I can to hold it in. It takes EVERYTHING to hold it in. Behind closed doors I sob a RIVER! It’s really hard being so emotional because you don’t wanna burst into tears out of nowhere. When I get in fights, I get teary eyed and I start shaking. When I’m walking alone in the mall and I pass by someone, I get teary eyed because I feel afraid. I’m happy I’m not the only emotional person!

  • Erica Reyes

    Thanks Cassey this really is good advice and I won’t have to feel weak when I cry. love ya your girl from Houston, Erica

  • Cami

    So encouraging, Cassey. I really needed this right now! I’m definitely a crier and I’ve always hated it and felt like “the weak girl” but, like you said, it takes strength to show vulnerability.

    Thank you for the inspiration and encouragement!

    Cami

  • Love this, Cassie! I am EXACTLY the same way. I cry all the time and I am a very emotional person. I used to be so ashamed of it and I thought it made me weak but really it doesn’t. I am strong and having and showing emotions is not weak AT ALL. Thanks for the reminder, babe!

    xx
    Heidi
    https://theglowingyogagirl.com/

  • Well. I think crying is something out of control and it happen when we are sad or happy as well. There are many people who feel low or sad at some point in their entire lives.
    With having depression, it’s very difficult to eat healthy diet, sleep properly and even enjoy your family so at that time people start crying,

  • Meredith

    I cry too, sometimes. Sometimes, it’s about something silly that I can’t control, but it can be because something huge happened on a previous day, and I just cry for the sake of crying.
    But crying helps me release stress, and just makes me feel good!

  • Kathryn St John-Shin

    I don’t think crying in front of people is a show of weakness or strength. It just happens. It’s accepting it and moving on that makes us strong or being super embarrassed and hating it that shows some weakness. I cry when I’m happy and sad or just whenever I’m overcome with any strong emotion. I don’t particularly enjoy crying in front of people cuz then they feel bad for me and I don’t like that, but I can’t help it so I try not to mind too much. However, when I get really angry and cry, that’s when I hate it the most. I feel like I’m showing the wrong emotion and it’s frustrating. All I want to do is yell and argue with the person but, nope, I cry instead. Pfft. A good hearty cry always does wonder for the heart and mood though. Well…usually. πŸ˜…

  • Miss Margaret Ann

    I am definitely a crier and sometimes I too feel embarrassed about it, because people seem to act like it makes you weak. This post was very encouraging making me think about again how I believe that tears a re really a sign of having compassion and honestly caring. As you said, its a sign that I’m strong enough to share myself. <3

  • Marianne

    You are such a beautiful human!
    The world could use more of you 😘
    Thank you for inspiring us to be happy , healthy and fit!

  • Amy Avan

    What you said is exactly me!! My emotions come off so strong at times…

  • Tishana

    I know this doesn’t relate to this post but just seen email with your new hair color and WOW absolutely gorgeous!!!! You go girl!!

  • Wenxin

    I cried once during an interview because the interviewer reminded me of the tough times I had went through before entering the workforce. Its so hard to hold back tears, but I always tell mysef to cry it all out & be stronger after!

  • Thank you for sharing, Cassey. For the most part, I have never really been ashamed of crying. However, one time that stands out was in third grade when we were playing Oregon Trail in class. My character died of a snake bite, and some rude kid starting making fun of me for it. I don’t know why I started crying, but I did.

    I was so upset at the time, but now I think it’s hysterical.

  • This is a post about how crying doesn’t make you a weak person, right? But then you write “I don’t cry in meetings or negotiations. I’m not fragile when it comes to situations where I know exactly what I want and what I need to do to get it.” You’re not fragile, so you’re not weak, because you don’t cry.

    Doesn’t make much sense to me. I mean congrats to you if you can always stay calm in business situations but that doesn’t really help someone who isn’t.

    • Irene Pereira

      That bothered me too. Once at my job, my boss was stressing me out so much that I had to hide myself in the bathroom because I could not hold the tears back anymore.
      I was kind of expecting a more reassuring post but now I feel weak because I am not like her. If I am extremely angry, pissed of or sad I immediately cry no matter what situation I am in. I am scared that in future jobs I might cry in front of my boss or clients,etc.

      • Kathryn Fuller

        Because you should never let another person change your emotions !That’s more of an issue of self than specifically crying bc I cry at everything happy or sad but I never cried at work or when someone pissed me off it fueled me to keep going or ultimately simply address the disrespect ! Or Honesty when it comes to work you have to take your emotions out anyway and not take anything personally in this world !

        • Kathryn Fuller

          Only talking about When you’re at work ! at the end of the day Idc if it is your boss they don’t pay your bills literally or feed you nor will you die if they weren’t around so a a NEVER let someone make you feel inferior & I can say that and I’m most def a true crier of all things * turn into that girl from the secret deodorant commercial in the bathroom lol

          • Kathryn Fuller

            And if you honestly can’t help crying at work leave the room so no one will see

          • Kathryn Fuller

            Not trying to call anybody weak and a duh you’re not going to be exactly like cassie or anyone but what is life if you don’t become stronger than you were before. It deal w your conscience if you feel behind the emotion is the root of your problem not the action that comes to follow bc some weak ppl act boastful and flamboyantly arrogant . Weak is not standing up for yourself not the crying act. Maybe that person didn’t intend to upset you but did you ask did you stop to address that or the disrespect for did you instantly just cry. that’s the difference but I’ve guess I am born in a world where they oppress women and even more black women so there is a strength there that passes all understanding that I don’t feel the need to cry when it comes to work.

          • Irene Pereira

            I didn’t instantly cry, I told my boss several times to leave me alone and let me get to work but she kept on grabbing my arm, pulling me and laughing at me because of an argument we had before. And what made it even worse is that there were clients in the shop looking at us. I therefore got stressed and when I am stressed I get teary-eyed so I went to bathroom so that nobody could see my cry. And after I left the bathroom she started again grabbing my arm and even put her hands on my face to turn my head to her. Thank God it was only a part time job to earn some money for uni.

            So its not like she “only” said something that hurt my feelings or yelled at me. That happened too before but that didn’t stress me out too much, I just tried to ignore her.

            I just was kind of disappointed after opening the blogpost because I was expecting Casey to tell her experiences about crying in maybe not so fitting situations like when you at your job and get overwhelmed at times and maybe some tips on how you can maybe change this. Because there are many people who cannot contain their emotions as well as Casey and her stating that shes not ” fragile” when it comes to her job, is kind of hurtful when she wrote this in a blogpost addressed to “cryers”.

          • Kathryn Fuller

            I understand. & no one is allowed to do that. If it’s a real business you could’ve reported it to the eoc. & you were strong bc you didn’t retaliate bc Ik I wouldn’t let it escalate that far. I would’ve stopped her the first time she was disrespectful. It’s not insubordinate if they are doing something harmful and talking to you how they wouldn’t accept someone talking to them like that. Honestly in that situation I would’ve been so angry that I couldn’t respond how I would normally so I prob would’ve cried out of anger. So there isn’t an issue crying here

      • Anika Bruce

        Everyone’s different. You are not weak for the tears, and she’s no stronger than you are for not showing them. I think there is a stigma on showing emotion in business matters, especially for women since they’re already seen as weak/emotional. But I can promise you, you are no weaker than Cassey because you show tears. As long as you recognize that and own it, I don’t think it should be a problem. Besides, business could be a little more down to earth anyway.

      • Yep, me too. And I’m really afraid of losing it in a tough argument of something like that. Up until now, I’ve managed to stay relatively calm and then hide in the bathroom. But I actually think that’s stupid. Some people get very loud at the first sign of trouble, I don’t, I just might get really upset. I don’t think that’s worse, it’s just that our culture sees aggressiveness as better.

        I hope that if I get into a situation where I can’t hold back my tears, I can stay as calm as possible, call for a timeout and later explain that I’m just an emotional person and that crying doesn’t mean I’m going to have a nervous breakdown or never speak to the person that upset me, but that it’s just a thing of the moment.

        Ugh. I can’t form sentences today. Sorry for that. I hope my point kind of came across.

        • Irene Pereira

          Yes, I get it. Whenever I have a more serious argument, I am always the one walking away because I get angry very fast and when that happens my body seems to react immediately by making me cry. It sucks. It feels like nobody takes me seriously after I cried and I hate it.

          I was therefore hoping that she would maybe give some tips on how you can keep calm in more difficult situations, arguments, at your job. But nope.

  • Is this a hotel in Singapore? I love the bed! Looks very cabin like. I am also acquire when it comes to certain areas of life, but often times I feel so numb that I can’t conjure up the emotion to even cry or feel anything at all. Sometimes, that’s even more scary than feeling bad because I’d rather feel that than nothing at all.

  • Em

    I’m exactly like that, overly emotional and will cry at the blink of an eye. Overly happy, cry. Upset, cry. Angry even, cry. But once I get it out the “real” emotion shows. But I feel that minute to breakdown, especially when I’m angry or upset, really helps me understand what I’m really feeling to better handle it.

  • girlfromdenmark

    I hate being an emotional person. It gets in the way of a LOT of things for me – I can’t get mad, I just cry instead. I wouldn’t even be able to act professional as you, Cassey.

    • Is that an European culture thing?

      • girlfromdenmark

        I’m not sure I understand your question

        • To not be emotional ? Or hold back emotions?

          • girlfromdenmark

            I don’t think so. I may have spoken incorrectly as I of course meant that I hate crying, I do show happy emotions

          • Ah, I understand! In Chinese culture it’s really hard to overtly say things like I love you or Sorry. We just feel guilt and help the other person out to show it.

          • girlfromdenmark

            Why do you feel guilt?

          • When* we feel guilt. :)

  • Anna

    Can you do a complete workout just for better posture, and especially for the back of the shoulders? because my shoulders is always rolled forward, and I think that you only have like one exercise for the back of the shoulders. Thank you.

  • Anna

    I just love your blog posts. So positive and uplifting!

  • Jenai

    I’ve always hated being a person who cries easily and for a long time felt like it made me look weak or that some one “got” to me. A scene towards the end of Courage Under Fire where Meg Ryan is getting belittled by another person for crying changed my perspective.

  • Sophia

    I cry so much and I cant hold back at times, and I do sometimes feel so ashamed and embarrassed of crying. My emotions both good and bad are always so strong. I am glad that I am not the only publicly emotional person. This helped me see that I am not alone!

  • I am SUCH a crier, and am sometimes ashamed for ‘feeling’ so much, but I think it’s healthy to be in touch with your emotions! I definitely notice I’m a maj. crier around that time of month haha can’t help my hormones!

    Sharni // http://www.agirlandgrey.com