I wanted to talk to you today about something that affects a lot of us daily. As women, we naturally are inclined to compare ourselves to our coworkers, our friends, models in magazine, and even the girl walking down the street! Why do we do this? Why do we suddenly try to make competition for ourselves?
I don’t know about you but I’ve never been the type to “love competition.” Even when I was on the Varsity tennis team in high school, I HATED game days. I’d rather work to be the best I can be every day than worry about winning and losing. It’s just no fun for me! Also, did you ever have the kind of parents that compared you to their relatives’ kids? LOL – this is such an Asian thing – but yeah – never enjoyed that either!
So when it comes to determining your own reality, your own happiness, and your own competition, the only person you should be comparing yourself to..
It’s unfair to yourself to look at your friend and feel jealous that she’s losing weight and you’re not because you guys are in 2 totally different situations, different bodies, and are living out different lives! You may look at her and say, “Wow her thighs are so skinny and her boobs are so perky, I wish I was like her.” But do you? You never know the full story so it makes no sense and only causes unnecessary thoughts that’ll drag you down. Don’t do that!
Like a science experiment…you have to have a constant variable, or else, the results are invalid!
Now I know it’s easy to say and hard to do because comparing is a natural human reaction. We always want to know where we fall on “the ladder.” But it’s your responsibility to take yourself off the ladder and stay grounded! All you can ask of yourself is to reach your own potential, not someone else’s potential. If you try to, and you don’t like where you stand, I guarantee you will be sad. Why? Why put yourself through that? We are all born with unique gifts and talents and I believe that in our life, it is our duty to embrace those gifts and share them with the world!
As long as you are progressing every day, it does not matter how slow or fast you go. It only matters that you keep moving towards your goal…not anyone else’s goal! I’ve been getting emails from girls who aren’t seeing the changes they want and all I can say is that this kind of stuff takes time. It took time to gain weight and it will take time to lose weight! In a society where instant gratification is so familiar to us, we can’t let ourselves get discouraged. For example, I know my body takes time to show changes! It also takes lots of hard work. I also know that with the amount of fitness experience I have, it takes a lot MORE to get myself all worked up and sweaty than the average person. Sometimes I curse this but most of the time I am grateful. Grateful that my endurance and strength allows me to teach class and motivate students without getting breathless! Grateful that I can push myself to my limits everyday. I am thankful for my mental power and my physical strength. It’s something I’ve worked for that no one can take away from me.
Not all of us are born math geniuses or 6ft tall runway models, we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Remember that sometimes what you do not have is a blessing too. The reason why your quads and calves are “too bulky” is probably the reason why you’re the captain of your track team. The reason why you don’t have so many friends and you’re so soft spoken is the reason why your art is so expressive and emotional. You see where I am going here?
Embrace what you have and flaunt your best assets. You are like no one else, and no one else is like you. So to be truly successful, be you. BE YOU TO THE MAX. To me success = being happy, so if you can do that, if you can find what makes you wanna wake up every day, you’re on top of the world. Your own world.
Do you ever compare yourself to anyone? How does it make you feel? Why do you do it?