Your Weight Does Not Determine your Worth

weight doesn't determine your worth

Hey POPsters!

I just moved into the new place and am still getting things out of boxes. I’ve been getting a little bit sick the past few days so couldn’t do very much. Not sure if it’s the dust, some extra stress, or both, but I am sipping on some hot cinnamon tea right now mixed with almond milk. So good and soothing going down my throat!!

Today I want to talk about you.

You and your self worth.

Since I was kinda slugging around the past few days not feeling so well, I had a lot of time to check up on you on Instagram and Tumblr and see what’s been going on in your life. (See I’m totes like your personal trainer!) I love the results and I love your enthusiasm for healthy living – it constantly inspires me to be a better instructor!! But I also noticed that sometimes this enthusiasm can turn into an obsession.

I remember that when I was training for my bikini comp last year, weight was the number one thing that was being tracked every week by my trainer. If I didn’t lose enough, I had to do extra cardio and really monitor my calories. Interesting that looking back on it now, I can see why it all backfired. But in the heat of it, I loved seeing my waist and my legs getting more defined every week as the thought of that leopard bikini and those clear heels loomed closer and closer. Nothing really mattered at that point except that I needed to “look good” on stage.

I can close my eyes and clearly see how upset my coach was when we had a week to go and my weight had stayed the same. I felt bad. I felt like I had failed. I felt like I had screwed up.

But you know what? Though I felt those things, and though my trainer shouldn’t have aligned my success with my weight, I know that my weight does not determine my self worth. Every drop of sweat you produce and every rep that you can hold longer and every punch that you can hit harder – it is YOURS. And no one can take that away from you. That strength and that skill that you work to build, it cannot be defined by the weight on the scale. How beautiful you shine and how confident you are when you make a speech in class or nail a presentation at a conference – does anyone really care if you gained or lost 5 lbs? No, probably not.

I agree that weight loss can result in more confidence because you love how you look, therefore you feel good inside too. Cool, totally valid! But don’t let that image in the mirror determine how happy you are.

That’s one part. The other part is never settling.

I kept seeing comments under before and afters that said “too skinny” or “you looked better before”. First of all, I really don’t like these physical attacks. Not cool. Find a better way to say it unless you can diagnose a true disorder and really think the person needs professional help.

Listen, success isn’t a destination. You know what it is? It is progress. It is growth. If you keep getting better everyday, you are being the best you can be and you are successful. I love progress pics because they are milestones of achievement! If you’re looking to change and transform your body, then take a before pic. It’s so good to look back on and appreciate your journey especially on those days when you feel like nothing is working right.

The only profession I can see weight determining you worth (directly and indirectly) is the modeling industry and perhaps any industry where you body/your looks is your money maker. (I suppose I am in one of those…we can’t let the fitness industry get away with this one!) A while back I spoke about how corrupted the tactics used to lose weight in the modeling industry were but never really expanded upon it. So let me do it now. I personally spoke with two male models at a fashion event a couple months ago and they SPECIFICALLY told me how they were constantly being told that they were never thin enough. Yes. These were guys obsessing over being a size 28 pant and how many calories they could intake daily. Do you know what their agencies would do if they were “too big”?

Prepare for this one.

You will gasp.

The agent would reach into a back drawer and take out a cigarette. “Start smoking. It will help.”

male model smoking

This is reality.

This is sick.

Look guys…how important is weight when you have to reach your UGW with cancer-causing methods??? Is it worth it? Is it worth it to increase the odds of dying early and not be able to breathe just so your inner thigh gap can be a little wider? No. Not to me and not even if my income depended on it.

Don’t let the dollars on the check or the dial on the scale dictate your self-worth. Your happiness is determined by you and your success is a journey you paint. Accept your body as you transform and it will make the whole process fun and positive. All we can ask for is to feel warmth in our hearts by surrounding ourselves with the people we love and by doing the things that make us happy. I always say…live like this and you will end up doing what you’re meant to do…and everything else will fall into place as it is supposed to.

Love you so much. Work hard and believe in yourself, because I believe in you :)

<3 Cassey

 

Comments

  1. I’m going through a tough time right now- I have been in bikini competition shape and leanness year round for about a year and a half after having anorexia and dropping weight- I gained weight and muscle and got into amazing shape (where I am now) but I am not having my period though every other vital has returned. My estrogen levels are low and so my doctors told me I have to gain weight. Because I had anorexia at 14 and am now 16 I have never been above 106 lbs (5’1) and average 103-105. My doctor wants me at 110 to be able to menstruate. I know I need to think about health first, but I am scared because being so cut has become a huge part of my identity personally and at school. That line “wrongend of a before and after” really resonated with me.. I’m so nervous guys! I want to make sure that I keep my muscle and tone even though I have to gain weight. Tips, advice? Love you guys :)

  2. Abby Huber says:

    I love your blogs!!!! You are doing an amazing job with the workout videos and i can telll that you are working hard to help others achieve happiness. I’m recovering from an eating disorder and your blogs helped me realize that the pressure put on girls and even guys are ridiculous!! Society creates this perfect image that we have to live up to and most people fall short! Because of you, i have begin to love myself and i have started having positive “self talk” to improve my happiness! I also decided that i don’t have to be a size 0 to be happy because i have a family that loves me and supportive friends. Thank you for everything that you have done!!!! (:

  3. Hi Cassey,
    Found your blog last night through Spark People. You are doing an amazing work with the YouTube videos, printables, this blog etc. It’s wonderful that you also keep the balance between maintaining a healthy body and a healthy mind. Thanks for sending this reminder out to all of us!
    Cheers,
    Ina

  4. Thank you for posting this. As someone who struggled with anorexia nervosa and EDNOS for over a decade, it’s hard to separate the motivation to be healthy and confident from the motivation to be perfect and “finally worthy as a person”. I want to start using this website to get back into shape while developing a better body-image. Your kind words mean more than you know, even to some of us hardened souls. Stay persistent, and thank you. <3

  5. Numbers are just numbers. Measurements will just be measurements. Don’t let these mathematical labels put a value to your worth and disposition in life. These are just mathematical measurements and have nothing to do with life. Our family, friends and loved ones could tell how great, amazing and funny we are as a person but the counting mechanism can’t. We are the master of own bodies and no own should put us down no matter what.

  6. This was really inspiring and motivating. Since me and my family moved a few months ago i have been putting off working out, i was constantly eating junk food, and drinking waaaayyyyy too much soda. Starting may 1 i started getting back into doing blogilates everyday. omg, cassey your workouts kicked my butt again. lol it is tough getting back in shape and eating healthy. it’s difficult to find support when everyone else around you criticizes you for choosing a salad and a glass of water over a cheeseburger and soda :/ so this was very nice to read. :) thank you for your vids and beautiful blogs. lots of love!

  7. Thank you, that was great. An outstanding post!

  8. Thanks Cassey for taking the time to write something so inspirational! You help me recover each day, and I am grateful for that!

    I send a great big hug from up here in Canada,

    Clara
    (Recovering from Anorexia)

  9. You always find the right words to motivate us Cassey! Believe it or not: those last few days have been a struggle for me with the balance.. And then I read your post! Thank you ;)

    Greetings from Belgium!!!

  10. Alexandra says:

    Hey Cassey!!
    First off THANKS FOR BEING A MAGNIFICENT INSPIRATION!!!
    Know I have a question for you. Ok so I am trying to lose weight so should I strictly focus on cardio or both cardio and strength training? I have been told so many things. And recently someone said to strictly focus on cardio and worry about toning later. What are your thoughts?

    • My BF is an instructor in Taekwondo (he sometimes works out with me and POP pilates), and he learned that cardio and strength training combo is the best way to lose weight. Or to change that bad weight into good weight: muscles.
      Because you can’t lose weight (fat), without gaining weight (muscles) For example: Fall 2011
      I lost about… 4.4 lbs working out, both cardio and toning. But I got from a size 30″ to a 25″ in jeans.
      Workout and eat clean!! I recommend Casseys May POP workout sheet, it’s amazing!!

  11. Sophie Warnock says:

    I loved reading this today! I gave up smoking 2 years ago, and I feel so good about it! My little sister and big brother still are heavy smokers and it really bothers me! I’m thankful for being disciplined with my health, but I do sometimes have issues with being too bothered, every day is a challenge but Thankyou for your inspirational words as always! You really do help
    X <3 x

  12. Thank you so much for your post. Focussing on my body, eating clean and working out sometimes brings me to forget that life is not all about numbers and measurements. I totally needed this post right now. I thought about my eating behaviour and realized that I ate way to little in the last few weeks. Whilst losing some pounds I also lost energy and concentration. NOT GREAT! I am going to change that today! I started with printing out the picture of the scales. It’s one of my motivational pictures now. I will think about the right balance when seeing it from now on! And then I had a big healthy lunch (here in Germany it’s in the middle of afternoon right now).

  13. Malulula says:

    Cassey, i am from Germany and followed your blog quiet a while but its my first time i write a comment.
    You find so wonderful words which go directly into my heart and give me motivation for another one or two days. :) Thank you for this happiness.
    I haven’t found the point yet, that moving (means sport) is my biggest hobby – i still need to fight to get up my butt from the couch – but i want to live conscious and healthy. And i see a few changes in my condition already.
    But i don’t see yet how my body changed – but anyway, smoking and the risk of cancer what comes with it, can’t be the solution and sounds to me totally crazy.

    Love your blog!

  14. Love this Cassey! So beautiful and true. Being healthy and happy should be our focus, not the number on the scale.

  15. Bless ya Cassie, thanks for sharing this message. Love you loads and thank you for the gift of fun fitness, & a healthy body perspective you give all of us. Be well sweetheart xox

  16. “Looking back on it now, I can see why it all backfired.” What do you mean it all backfired? Did you get an eating disorder and not tell us about it? :/

    • I think she just means it was unnecessary to make herself feel like she failed when the scale didn’t move even when she was clearly toning up and getting stronger. And an eating disorder isn’t something you get; you don’t “catch” it. They’re neurological disorders.

  17. Miles K says:

    I really needed this today. I was feeling really down about plateauing for the last two weeks, and I suppose I just needed to be reminded that I am not my weight. Thank you Cassey. <3

  18. Cassey
    Awesome post. And very timely (for me anyway)

  19. Good stuff Cassey! Well said indeed.

  20. Hi Cassey,
    I am so happy that you made this, I swear, i’ve been feeling bad all week because I feel that no matter how much diet I do or how much exercise, nothing’s changing, the numbers won’t change. This made my day, made me smile, made me feel better.
    Really, thank you so much,
    Keep going

  21. Danielle A. says:

    I feel like I am having one of those days where I am letting my physical shape dictate my joy today. And it isn’t right, because there is plenty for me to be happy about. Thank you for this post.

  22. Sanna Linde says:

    This helped me so much. I’m suffering with an eating disprder, not so serious like the other ones because I’ve just got bad thoughts in my head and that’s nothing compared to, for example, anorexia. I’ve starved myself so many times just to see a freaking number on the scale and it hurts to think about it. I’ve taken out the batteries in the scale now and I try to eat healthy and work out at least 4 times a week. It’s hard to battle against yourself, because that’s how I feel. It feels like I’m fighting against myself. But this helped me so much. I felt a fire starting to burn inside me. I feel hope. Thank you Cassey. You’re the best <3

  23. Hey Cassey,
    this post got me so close to tears! I don’t know how you keep me motivated because I’ve tried so many times to work on my bode and after two days or so I used to quit – but I even really enjoy to get on the mat every evening and workout with your videos. And your blogposts are just so inspiring! I am so glad that there are people like you on the internet <3
    Maddy

    • MiinaMarie says:

      I’m kind of like that too. If I miss a workout, I feel like Cassey’s mad at me hahaha

      • ^Lol that last reply.. I thought I was the only one! Every time I miss a work out I’m like “omg I’ve let Cassey down…”

  24. I started smoking almost 6 years ago and the ONLY reason was to lose weight. Let me tell you first hand… It doesn’t work!!! When you have an unhealthy relationship with your body like I did nothing will help you lose weight and be happy. Today I’m proud to day I’ve been smoke free for a year, I am healthy, I’m losing weight without obsessing, I’m recovered from an eating disorder and I’m just HAPPY! Don’t fall into the trap!!!!

  25. Hi Cassey!
    I really liked your post! Although I know everything that you write, I need a reminder then and now..
    I struggle with “false body image”. Sometimes I see no different about how I look now and how I looked a few years ago.
    I was never overweight, but I let my weight control me. I thought that beauty is weight. I have come a long way, but sometimes I relapse, and I forget that weight isn’t the end of the world. My weight is muscle. But I forget that sometimes and start to see myself as overweight (and I know I am not! But in my head I don’t look as thin as the other girls. Although I’m sometimes skinnier!!)

    And this January I quited smoking (YAY!) and I changed my birthcontrol = Weight gain!
    I tried not to let it bother me, but when my jeans got to tight, I stumbled on your youtube chanel. And voila! My jeans fit, and I feel good. Really, really good! I use your training to complement my TKD-training.

    I just wanted to say thank you Cassey! You are a truly amazing woman. Keep doing what you do, keep spreading motivation to all the people, all over the globe.

    <3 Ronjah

  26. Wei Chin says:

    I really enjoyed your post! XD Really educational!! Smoking… a recipe for disaster.

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