I just moved into the new place and am still getting things out of boxes. I’ve been getting a little bit sick the past few days so couldn’t do very much. Not sure if it’s the dust, some extra stress, or both, but I am sipping on some hot cinnamon tea right now mixed with almond milk. So good and soothing going down my throat!!
Today I want to talk about you.
You and your self worth.
Since I was kinda slugging around the past few days not feeling so well, I had a lot of time to check up on you on Instagram and Tumblr and see what’s been going on in your life. (See I’m totes like your personal trainer!) I love the results and I love your enthusiasm for healthy living – it constantly inspires me to be a better instructor!! But I also noticed that sometimes this enthusiasm can turn into an obsession.
I remember that when I was training for my bikini comp last year, weight was the number one thing that was being tracked every week by my trainer. If I didn’t lose enough, I had to do extra cardio and really monitor my calories. Interesting that looking back on it now, I can see why it all backfired. But in the heat of it, I loved seeing my waist and my legs getting more defined every week as the thought of that leopard bikini and those clear heels loomed closer and closer. Nothing really mattered at that point except that I needed to “look good” on stage.
I can close my eyes and clearly see how upset my coach was when we had a week to go and my weight had stayed the same. I felt bad. I felt like I had failed. I felt like I had screwed up.
But you know what? Though I felt those things, and though my trainer shouldn’t have aligned my success with my weight, I know that my weight does not determine my self worth. Every drop of sweat you produce and every rep that you can hold longer and every punch that you can hit harder – it is YOURS. And no one can take that away from you. That strength and that skill that you work to build, it cannot be defined by the weight on the scale. How beautiful you shine and how confident you are when you make a speech in class or nail a presentation at a conference – does anyone really care if you gained or lost 5 lbs? No, probably not.
I agree that weight loss can result in more confidence because you love how you look, therefore you feel good inside too. Cool, totally valid! But don’t let that image in the mirror determine how happy you are.
That’s one part. The other part is never settling.
I kept seeing comments under before and afters that said “too skinny” or “you looked better before”. First of all, I really don’t like these physical attacks. Not cool. Find a better way to say it unless you can diagnose a true disorder and really think the person needs professional help.
Listen, success isn’t a destination. You know what it is? It is progress. It is growth. If you keep getting better everyday, you are being the best you can be and you are successful. I love progress pics because they are milestones of achievement! If you’re looking to change and transform your body, then take a before pic. It’s so good to look back on and appreciate your journey especially on those days when you feel like nothing is working right.
The only profession I can see weight determining you worth (directly and indirectly) is the modeling industry and perhaps any industry where you body/your looks is your money maker. (I suppose I am in one of those…we can’t let the fitness industry get away with this one!) A while back I spoke about how corrupted the tactics used to lose weight in the modeling industry were but never really expanded upon it. So let me do it now. I personally spoke with two male models at a fashion event a couple months ago and they SPECIFICALLY told me how they were constantly being told that they were never thin enough. Yes. These were guys obsessing over being a size 28 pant and how many calories they could intake daily. Do you know what their agencies would do if they were “too big”?
Prepare for this one.
You will gasp.
The agent would reach into a back drawer and take out a cigarette. “Start smoking. It will help.”
This is reality.
This is sick.
Look guys…how important is weight when you have to reach your UGW with cancer-causing methods??? Is it worth it? Is it worth it to increase the odds of dying early and not be able to breathe just so your inner thigh gap can be a little wider? No. Not to me and not even if my income depended on it.
Don’t let the dollars on the check or the dial on the scale dictate your self-worth. Your happiness is determined by you and your success is a journey you paint. Accept your body as you transform and it will make the whole process fun and positive. All we can ask for is to feel warmth in our hearts by surrounding ourselves with the people we love and by doing the things that make us happy. I always say…live like this and you will end up doing what you’re meant to do…and everything else will fall into place as it is supposed to.
Love you so much. Work hard and believe in yourself, because I believe in you :)