I was at the gym today and had a pretty good convo with a friend of mine while getting my cardio on on the Precor machine. We talked about our moms and why they were on a constant weight loss battle and why everyone cares so much about having Victoria Secret model abs and an inner thigh gap. It’s become an obsession for a lot of young women especially. For some reason, we all think we need to be swimsuit ready at all times. We get frustrated when we don’t get results quick enough and begin to let our physical appearance dictate our self worth.
Why? I think media is a part of the blame.
We are bombarded with magazine covers of women with perfect bodies and sculpted abs year round. Our Tumblr feeds are strewn with images of fake boobs and six packs. We hear the praise for models and actresses who have lost weight so quickly after pregnancy. We read the condescending stories in the tabloids that make fun of women who have added pounds onto their frame.
Everywhere I go nearly every female I talk to is overly concerned with her weight and physical appearance. And it’s obvious why! Our society has become crazily OBSESSED with looking young and thin. We place women who can achieve this look on the front of covers, in movies, on shows, and we push them more and more into the public eye. Ultimately, the more often we see something, the more we begin to idolize it. We begin to think that yes, we too must look like that. We think that if we don’t look like that, then we should at least strive for it.
Here’s the problem. Not everyone should strive for that perfect bikini model look.
Think about it like this. If you were meant to be with someone then you shouldn’t have to put so much effort into the relationship to make it work and be in love. If you were meant to be a good doctor then going to med school should be enjoyable and you shouldn’t have to struggle tremendously to get through it. Does this make sense?If you were meant to do something, you should be good at it. If your body was meant to be at a certain place, then let it be there, work out and eat clean to maintain healthiness and longevity, but don’t work against yourself to a point of frustration and exhaustion.
Not everyone was meant to have a bikini body. And you need to realize that and be okay with it and focus your energy and talent elsewhere where you can thrive! We’re all born with different body types. We are also born with different talents! Maybe instead of spending 3 hours in the gym daily just to keep a certain body fat %, you could be spending 1 hour at the gym, looking healthy, and spending the other 2 inventing the next best app or writing the next best cookbook. You know what I mean? Just because all the mags tell you that we have to be 5’10”, 110 lbs, and have 36-24-36 measurements, it doesn’t mean that that is YOUR personal goal.
Now don’t get me wrong. Anything is possible. I encourage you to push the envelope and drive yourself to success even in the face of adversity. However there is a point of diminishing returns. Once your decision to lose weight and “look better in a bikini” starts to interfere with your character and your quality of life, it is TOO MUCH.
I think that we need to step back, allow our natural capabilities to shine, and instead of focusing on our flaws, we need to focus on enhancing our talents.
I wrote this post today because I want you to redefine your goals. Don’t let the definition of your abs dictate your feelings of self worth. Instead, look deeper. Enjoy the journey to your fitter self, embrace the strength your acquire, and if weight begins to come off, then fabulous – you got more out of this than just pounds lost. You’ve got skill, you’ve got technique, and you’ve mastered the power of molding your own destiny. Try to find what you want in sculpting a happier YOU. Not just sculpting a more toned bod. Develop your talents to minimize what you see as “flaws” and I can assure you that you’ll be glowing from the inside out. Your smile and vibrance will be magazine cover ready.
Have a Fabulous Friday everyone!