Rediscovering your motivation

 

OK now time to get emotional.

This is a feeling post.

I think all of us have that drive in us…it’s just that sometimes we lose it and have a little trouble locating it. And you know what? It’s really hard to do anything without motivation. Your energy and excitement emanate from the inside, and that is something you can’t mask or fake. It has to be real and it has to come from the main source of enthusiasm. YOU.

To tell you the truth, the past several months since I’ve moved back to CA, I’ve been feeling kind of off my game physically. Before I left, I was in the best shape of my life. Here’s a picture. I had basically just finished an 8 week bikini body diet and workout plan with a trainer friend of mine then had to do some traveling and shortly after that, I made my big move cross country. Traveling really pulls me out of my focus. Anyway, the workouts and the meals were grueling but seeing the results were AMAZING. It’s the feeling of seeing hard work PAY OFF.

I cut myself some slack when I moved and boy, did that backfire. I’ve been very frustrated at myself for gaining weight and increasing my body fat percentages. Between developing the second line of oGorgeous gym bags and juggling the growth of the blog and my youtube channels…I forgot about myself and wasn’t paying attention to details. And before I knew it, these jeans that used to be loose on me in July were tight.

Do you know this feeling?

I HATE this feeling.

Now, listen, I am not saying I hate my body because I don’t. In fact, I love it and everything it has allowed me to do. Travel the world, teach classes, run, jump, cook, draw, eat, hug, smile…my body allows me live out my dreams. But I cannot tell you how different it feels to do all of the above AND have your energy levels at its best WHILE looking in the mirror and being proud of your hard work.

It takes time to sculpt and achieve dreams whether they are physical, mental, or spiritual. It takes time and consistent dedication. Since I am done with my big travels for a while now, I can focus on this body of mine. And yesterday, I finally found that shred of hardcore determination to achieve achieve ACHIEVE in the face of tiredness, lack of motivation, and distraction.

I went to the gym and did one of the hardest workouts of my life. My muscles failed under me. I actually collapsed a couple times. (No I didn’t fall to the floor, but I could feel my arms buckling underneath me as I finished my last rep.) I was even making excruciating faces. And I never really make faces.

I also cleaned up my diet FOR REAL. I eat healthily most of the time, but the past several months I’ve had slipups with chips laying around. This time no more. No more things that can tempt me. I just gotta keep it out of sight. Out of mind. Also, to be honest, my biggest temptations are nuts. Although healthy, it’s not THAT great when you snack on them constantly! 1-2 oz a day is recommended. Not sure if you know this about me, but I can eat A LOT.

Like I always tell you, your diet is responsible for about 70-80% of your physique. How I wish I had just kept eating super clean after I moved to CA. Yes, I wish for it, but hey it’s life, and you gotta do what you gotta do. I also believe that everything happens for a reason. That 8 week plan made me comfortable with weights and it was my first introduction to eating like a fitness competitor. 6 small meals a day. Tons of water. I felt so energetic and vibrant!

Having something, then losing it, makes you want to work SO MUCH HARDER for it. It’s just the way life works.

So beginning yesterday, I am on my game. 110%. It’s exactly 1 year since I started that 8 week plan and now it’s time to relive the good times :)

I hope this post made you realize that even fitness professionals can lose it. You focus on others so much that you forget about yourself, so I want to thank you for being here for me. You are my community of support. So remember what I always say about falling down? You gotta get back up. It’s called RESILIENCE people and it is what shows your strength and character.

So over the next 3-4 months, I will be very particular with my diet and extra crazy with my workouts. I hope you decide to join me on this journey. Are you ready? Here we go!!!!!!

Thank you so much for letting me be honest with you. I love you so much.

<3 Cassey

Comments

  1. thanks for being honest and showing us normal folk that even trainers and fitness instructors are human and sometimes lose site. But getting back on the bandwagon after falling off is the most important thing and gives you character. Thanks for sharing your story with us :)

  2. Hey Cassey! This is Summer from California. Thank you for really reand it is something that really resonated with how I was feeling. i just returned home from a conference in Phoenix, Arizona, and for five days I was eating “fancy junk food” that the hotel catered to us. I usually follow your diet plan, but I was just so starved of those comfort foods (brownies, gourmet pizza) that I loaded up my plate with food. Returning back from my travels I definitely noticed I gained weight. I was so defeated that I let all my hard work slip away by a temporary craving :/. But now, as you embark on a journey to get back into the groove, know that you have a fellow Californian who will be working with you along the way. I will follow any meal plan or workout that you suggest. Let’s got all out and do it for real this time. We’ll do this together :)

  3. I know this feeling well, it’s what I’m feeling at the moment! :(
    Here in New Zealand we just finished summer and have just started school yet again. During summer I had all the time to do whatever I wanted, but now with a schedule mostly from 9-5, plus doing house chores and university work, it’s difficult to find the time and energy to exercise.

  4. Hey Cassey! I was wondering what you’re doing exactly to get in the best shape ever for summer! “So over the next 3-4 months, I will be very particular with my diet and extra crazy with my workouts. I hope you decide to join me on this journey.”
    Like you were saying in your post, I would love to follow in your footsteps of your journey…like what you’re doing for a summer bikini body!!! I just want to know what those particular things are and roughly what your workouts are, but mostly your diet…! ah! so excited to feel and look super smokin’ for summer!!!!

  5. Thank you so much for all your wonderful posts!! My husband and I are on day 6 of the mini meal plan and I have worked out 5 out of the 6 days compared to my usual 3. I’m feeling good and even tho our meal plan is ending tomorrow, I am going to try and eat close to that plan and continue working out 5-6 times a week! You are such an inspiration and thank you for being there for us all :)

  6. you are kind of totally awesome.

  7. I’ll wait for your crazy workouts! In the name of summer! <3

  8. Go Cassey! I know you can do it! You are such an inspiration to all of us – and believe it or not, showing your struggles is super inspirational too. Thank you!

  9. Hey Cassey!!!

    I completely agree with everything you have to say!! and I discovered your blog like 3-4 weeks ago and will start doing your videos from Tuesday (tomorrow!… can’t wait to feel the excruciating burn :) I voted for you on all the devices i have… my phone, my laptop and my ipad hahha! cause i feel that someone as resourceful, motivating, intelligent and not to say extremely brutal with workouts (sometimes!) SHOULD get the recognition and opportunity to spread her knowledge! You make me feel like a really rich person with a personal trainer that explains almost every question I have about fitness, diet and health haha! keep up the amazing work and thanks for being there for us!

  10. Cassey thanks so much for this post. It reaches us from all places and different walks of life. Having a hard time career wise and going through a breakup, and swimming and your workouts have kept me sane when I feel like i’m going to explode with awful self deprecating feelings. Thanks again. <3

  11. I can definitely relate to how youre feeling. I trained for my very first half marathon and was totally diggin’ how fit and happy I felt. After completing the run last month, I somehow felt the need to “reward” myself with a break from working out..y’know, to “recover.” Boy, what a bad idea! I mean, recovering is fine, but I seemed to have taken it a little too far..haha. I let myself eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and a much as I wanted (yes..6 oreos. EVERY.DAY.FOR.OVER.A.WEEK! ahh!)..totally overcompensated on calories. I’m SO ready to get back in the gym, get my running shoes on, and get weights in my hands. I cannot wait for my clothes to fit comfortably!

  12. Hi Cassey, wow. I don’t even know where to start. You just took all my feelings, typed them out, and created a solution/re-inspiration for me. You. are. amazing. The community you have created is such a great place to come and to know that I’m not alone in my struggles for weight loss etc. It has also been almost a year for me that I was in the best shape of my life and now I have gained 17 lbs back. I beat myself up about it all the time which just makes me eat more because I get depressed. But as I read this post tonight it made me have a COMPLETE TURN AROUND about my diet and motivation to NOT give up even for ONE second! Not even just one Oreo! I am currently doing a modification of the 8 week bikini diet plan since 2 days ago and it has been hard, but your post just made me get so pumped about sticking with it, I feel like I have nothing to worry about now :) what I’m doing is eating only protein, vegetables, and fruit….I wanted the fruit for carbs so that’s the only way I’m getting carbs for the next 8 weeks :) and I don’t know if I’m going to do a carb load day…should I? I run 3 miles 4 x’s a week and do your pop pilates strength training.. :) but anyway, thank you…I hope by my trip in 8 weeks that I am as happy and healthy and still as determined as you to reaching my fullest potential physically and mentally.

  13. Back on the wagon too! I just had a bad food week. I was traveling to Wisconsin and had too much cheese and bread! It was delicious but the ab definition I had worked so hard to get for two months is gone now. I needed some motivation so I did something scary! I signed up for a road race!

  14. I quit smoking 7 months ago and your you tube videos have been so motivating for me. I have been doing them every day for nearly 2 months and am seeing great results. I may weigh a little more now(I know the tight jeans feeling. My favorite jeans aren’t even coming close to fitting), but I am healthier, stronger, and more fit now than I’ve ever been. Thank you for your constant positivity!

  15. YOU CAN DO IT! I’m in almost the same position: I was in great shape before starting my first year of college, and yup, I got the Freshman 15. Since I still have modeling aspirations, this spring break was the kick in the teeth I needed to REALLY get back on track. I’ve never had an issue with exercising, but it’s the food that gets me…and since that’s 80% of my physique I know I need to work on my self-control. So I’m joining you, and eating clean and right so that come summer, I’ll be back too. :)

  16. Caroline Frawley says:

    You can do it and you will do it!! Well done on everything so far! And just so you know I just look at you and think you have the perfect body xx

  17. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I am not a hater I love you. However Cassey, hon I think you might have a slight eating disorder. You can say what you like but I think deep within you might know this as well.

    YOU HAVE AN AMAZING BODY, don’t let the negative thoughts you have control you.

    • Jenny, love you too, but I definitely do not have an eating disorder…I see food as fuel and I am not scared of it. I am not very familiar with the whole world of ED but I can tell you that my relationship with food is not unhealthy. Thank you for your concern though!

  18. Thanks for that blog. It was very brave of you to be so open and honest. It also helps all of us to know that success is about being perfect, it is about continuing with the journey of health and fitness. My biggest obstacle to meeting my goals is “all-or-nothing” thinking. It is good to know that we all make misteps but can change the direction of our lives at any time. Thanks!

  19. Wow! This post came at the most perfect time. Over the last 12 months I have cleaned up my life, started working out like crazy, and lost about 50 lbs. I feel great! I just found you on youtube about 6-8 weeks ago, and I am totally addicted. I can see my body changing even more already :) I figured I had to get in shape because my man was about to join a police academy and I didn’t want to look fat when he got in shape. He has been taking all sorts of college courses, and at 30 plus years old, I figured if he has the time for school and work, I would make working out my homework. I am in the best shape of my life working out 5-6 days a week! Sadly last week while I was on vacation and totally cheating on my diet/workouts, he broke his hip during a training session at school. We spent 5 days in the hospital (I slept there every night). Now the tough part comes and your blog totally hit home. I tried not to cry reading “I am not saying I hate my body because I don’t. In fact, I love it and everything it has allowed me to do. Travel the world, teach classes, run, jump, cook, draw, eat, hug, smile…my body allows me live out my dreams.” My man who was on the top of his game last week, 2 months into training, running miles, doing burpees (doubled legged ones though, what a wuss lol), sit ups, push ups, etc going full blast 7 days a week between school and work, is now stuck on the couch barely able to make it to the bed and back :( It’s tough for him being in limbo and not knowing if he will ever be able to achieve his dreams now. I feel heart broken for him. But his spirits are high, and everyone from anywhere is here showing us support (and bringing us chocolatey sweets). Back to the working out–I haven’t in over 2 weeks and I am missing the exercise high! I am drooling daily over your food posts on facebook (especially the oatmeal pancakes and the peanut butter oatmeal banana cookies!) I’ve been so exhausted, I can barely make it through the day, let alone try to workout. But after reading this post, I swear today is the day! I love all your videos and there are so many that I can do that don’t require me to stand on my throbbing feet. Thank you for your constant posts, energetic outlook, and motivation. I love how much you care about how all of us and that you continue to push us to be in great shape, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your blog is exactly what I needed. I hope I can stay on the crazy workout/diet track with you and not slide backward at this trying time. Just writing this out makes me feel better–THANK YOU

  20. Of course I’ll join you!! I just recently discovered your blog through Twitter and have been doing your Hot Abs and Cinch that Waist workout ;) And girl you are CRAAAZY! Even my bf says he was intimidated by the routines, but I did it… slowly but surely getting stronger with you ;) I also have a small frame, probably because of my Asian descent, but I also loooove my body. Thanks for sharing! :)

  21. Hi Cassey,

    As a I’m working as a resident at the Neurology department of a hospital I have no time whatsoever to work out in the gym. I love your exercises, because I can do them at home (or even during my break :)) and they are killing my muffin top and belly pooch :D.
    However I am concerned about your plan to do the 8-week bikini diet. I have looked at the plan and I have to say that it is NOT healthy to pursue this diet for 8 weeks. I know you would like to make a new start to up your motivation, but as a physician I am urging you to reduce the duration of this plan or lower the proteins and increase the carb intake.
    This is not healthy, especially with your work-out routine! These types of diets in combination with vigarous exercise increase the risk of decreasing bone density, loss of muscle tissue, mood disorders such as depression and some studies even suggest that low carb-high exercise diets could negatively affect cognitive function.
    You are a healthy young woman in great shape and these kind of diets are not for you. Long term (very) low carb diets are more sensible for people who don’t lead a physically active life such as people in wheelchairs or bedridden people.
    Please be aware that a lot of people read your blog and want to follow your example.I know you posted a disclaimer and I hope that people who want to follow the same diet will adhere to that and consult their physician (who probably will be apprehensive). Trainers are not doctors!

    This is just my opinion and I mean nothing but the best for you! Please keep up the great Pilates videos on YouTube!

    Wishing you well,

    Lily

    • Hey Lily!!! Thanks for your post. That was kind of an experiment my trainer friend did with me a while back and those weren’t the only things I ate. We definitely had more carbs on some days more than others. He just asked that I not post his whole meal plan. I should probably say that in the post…thanks for alerting me!!!

  22. Thank you for that post Cassey, it’s what I wanted at the right time.
    I always have a burst of energy at the beginning of a diet and lose weight quickly, but then I seem to stop losing the weight and it seems everything stays the same no matter how hard I work. Then I fall off the wagon, which to be honest is happening now.
    I know I need to get the motivation back and instead of starting a new diet, choose a healthier lifestyle forever and that’s what will help me get the body I want. You only have one life and I’m determined not to spend mine being self-concious of my body. I can do it!! :D

  23. Look at it this way, Cassey. You’ve given me (and the entire Blogilates community) the challenge to clean up our acts with your 12-week Challenge. And it’s called a challenge because it IS a challenge. Some days are easy, some days a bit harder, but there is a goal in mind. You have motivated us to continue doing the plan, and practice clean eating beyond the plan. I’ve also discovered Tosca Reno because of you. You two are my idols :) !

    You’ve given motivation to me and this community, and we’ll give it right back to you. And you’ve give many here a lesson. We do fall off from time to time, but we have to get right back on the horse. We live in a society and culture filled with poor choices and poor portion control, so clean eating is fun but it is work at the same time. Best to remember that every day is a challenge and some days we have more motivation than others. We just have to keep the focus! It can be easy to lose, but I’m so glad you’re “in our faces” on Facebook. I’m always motivated by the Blogilates feeds. Keep ‘em coming!

  24. You got my vote girl!
    Tight jeans? I know that feeling :(
    I started my clean eating program but I ‘m ready for crazy workouts with you! :)
    Let’s go!

  25. Wow, I really liked this post. I decided to stick to my goals just yesterday actually! I am neither fat nor skinny. I am average but would like to reach that point where I can let my body be at it’s best both appearance and health wise! So I definitely want to do this with you!
    It’s great that you are so real and motivating :)

  26. Way to go cassey! your post really moved me because i was going through a similar phase of “lack of inspiration” !
    you just helped me re-focus on my goals! Thank you!

  27. Me too, Cassey. Actually I’ve been struggling. The main problem is that I don’t want to eat at all, because deep down I am somewhat depressed. My husband’s been deployed for a year but he’ll be home soon. I’m just kind of losing motivation. Not caring how my body looks, not wanting to eat or cook so I just end up eating the junk food that my family buys…I don’t like the way it feels.
    I especially don’t want to cook (for starters, I am a BAD cook) with how busy I’ve been. But I know there are ways I can get around this, it’s just lack of motivation.
    I’ve been trying so hard to push myself forward. The real challenge is EATING because when I don’t feel like eating, I’m disinclined to workout because that’ll just make me have to eat more. And if I be lazy and eat junk, even if I feel like working out after polluting my body, my performance won’t be optimal.
    Another problem is that maybe I’ve just been too satisfied with myself, as you were, and felt like I didn’t have to work anymore.
    I think I just need to start from the begining; get on a set workout plan, force myself to spread out my meals so they’re small, and become strict about what I will and willnot eat again.

    • Look at food as fuel and make cooking enjoyable. Just learn! I am not a great cook, but I like what I eat. I am sorry your husband is away…sometimes its tough to cook for one. But you got this girl. We will do it together.

  28. I am so excited to do this with you!!! Thanks for being so honest! :)

  29. Michelle Morton says:

    So glad you posted this. I’ve missed you! Last year I was religiously waking up a 5am to do three of your videos before hitting the gym. I never missed one! Now you’ve posted a bunch that I haven’t done. It’s time to rededicate myself, catchup and do more pop pilates! Working on eating better. No more sugar or alcohol! I just don’t need them!

  30. Hi Cassey!

    I know exactly what you mean and I am trying to get the best out of the situation and focus more on my diet, but I am not so disciplined (unlike you) :(
    However, starting tomorrow, I will embark on a cleaner diet together with you and I will give it my best! (I already eat kinda clean, but I tend to fall off the wagon from time to time)

    We will kill it!!!!!!! & get soooo ready for showing out bodies during the summer!!!

    hugs from Denmark,
    Denise

    P.S. Voted! :)
    P.S.S. Keep up your amazing work! You are such an inspiration and I totally love the workouts!!! I probably see more of you everyday than I see of my family :))))

  31. I have been slacking over the last few months. I’ve kept the weight off but haven’t been working out like I need to to be strong and toned like I want to be. A very good friend of mine has been diagnosed with cancer. Seeing her so ill due to the chemo has left me feeling worried, depressed and demotivated but feeling like this won’t help her or me. I’m sure I’ll find my mojo again soon but for now I can’t find the resolve to stick to a plan. I’m not sorry that I am expressing these thoughts as just putting it out there, sharing my fears, is already helping me to recognise what is getting in my way.

    Mx

  32. Bridgette says:

    Cassey, I’m so glad you posted this. I’ve been lurking on the site and doing some of your awesome workoust, and I definitely needed this today, not only to find motivation to eat healthier (my Southern upbringing of mashed potatoes and fried chicken completely goes against this) but to find the motivation I needed to get everything done for my school work. It’s very encouraging for me to know that you get down sometimes too, but we’ve all got to remember to pick ourselves up. Only let the discouragement last for, at most, a day.

    I also wanted to thank you for having so many workouts online, so that I can workout at home, for free, and on my schedule, squeezing it in when I can, which is not as often as it should be, but it’s better than nothing. Even with only doing your workouts when I can, I’ve already noticed a difference in the way my clothes fit over the past three months, and I can feel my body getting stronger, gaining the muscle strength that I’ve always wanted but never had.

    After being teased for my weight in middle school, about 180 on my 5’2” frame, I’ve never truly been comfortable with my body, not even after I lost fifty pounds and only weighed 130 when I graduated from high school. Not right now after gaining about 20 pounds in my freshman and sophomore year of college. I think I’ve lost about 10 of that with using your workout vids and doing some cardio, but I feel like I can get to a point where I like my body now. Trying to embrace my body as it is now, and I love your inspiring messages and your emphasis that getting your ideal body is not quick, which is something I definitely need to remember.

    Anyway, that was a really long way to so thank you for being so positive in your vids and helping me find a workout that I actually like, which is an entirely new concept for me. Just remember we all love and support you when you feel down and we’ll all, or at least I will, remember you feel the same about us and not let our self-doubts and negative thoughts keep us down.

  33. Hi Cassey!
    I’ve been following your blog for a while so, hi!
    Your blog is so motivating, I love the workouts and meal ideas! I’m totally with you on some extra discipline in working towards a happy healthy body!
    I love doing a fresh juice day once (or twice) a month to flush out the system and feel clean inside out.
    Looking forward to hearing all about your extra crazy times! Yay!

  34. I’m going through the same, maritza, I hear ya! :/
    Cassey, I will definitely join you and thanks for posting this right when I needed it :)

  35. Totally know the feeling, I work 12+ hours a day, always helping everyone else but my self lately so now I have 30ish pounds to knock off. Its easy to fall off the wagon, but getting back on and giving a 100% back to myself is what I decided I needed to do and work and all the needy people will just have to be put on the back burner, because at the end of the day I need to feel good about myself, and being health is a huge key to getting back to that feeling, because lets face it when your feeling good your looking good :) .

  36. carolina arias says:

    casey im going through the EXACT SAME THING right now. during the summer i was super fit, i felt great and right now im a bit pudgy, i always feel bloated and im tired of it. thank u for this and im getting back on track too!

  37. i’m going to join you with this super body busting months ahead! Summer bodies!

  38. You literally stole these feeling out of my mouth lol I’m ready to start again!! Let’s go!!

  39. Thank you for posting this. And for showing it isn’t a major.fault to slip now and then, it’s realistic, it happens and it’s also fixable. I get tired of people who portray themselves as perfect and never at fault and who are too good to fail or make a mistake. That makes me more discouraged with myself and my plan. Thank you for boosting my self worth and esteem with this. I lost 60 pounds over a year of working and over the past few months, backslid and gained 15 of it back. I’ve been hiding it and hiding in denial but reading this, from you of all people, makes me want to shout, I messed up but WILL fix it and do better than before. Thank you so much! And I look forward to reading and watching about your progress :)

  40. You can do it Cassey! Let us know if you will be posting another meal plan / 90 day challenge so we can join you! We’re all here to support you :)

    PS I voted for ya!

  41. You know, so far you are in the lead for the best fitness blog with 308 votes!!! YAY go Cassey!!!! :)

  42. I was doing really well with my diet and exercise, but right now I’m swapped with studying for my NCLEX-PN so I haven’t been hitting the gym or really caring about what I’m eating, because when I’m in my room for 17 hours studying I just want to EAT something. :/ and absolutely no energy to even do pop pilates in my room :(
    But I’ve promised myself as soon as this test is over no more excuses and I will get that body I want!!!

  43. Thank you for this post! I really needed it. I was on my way to eating healthier and being more fit…then exams came my way, all day was spent studying and everything came crumbling down. It felt like my efforts were wasted but your post helped me realize you fall and just try again :)

  44. Jess Powell says:

    I know exactly how you feel and in the same spot as you, a few months ago I was the healthiest I’ve been at a nice 23% body fat, checked the other day and I’m 23.4% :(. But its ok, like you its fuelled my determination to beat my lowest %! Today is my 3rd day of the 30 day shred and as well as doing your wonderful Pilates vids. I am SOREEE but loving it :D. We are always there to support you Cassey! xx

  45. It would be really scary if you would never have a moment where you do not give the 300%, that you usually do.

  46. hi cassey! i’m a big fan of yours, and i just wanted to say thank you so much for giving me the motivation to live a healthier lifestyle. like you, i’m a small asian girl who eats A LOT. but now, i can control what i eat, and i’m working on getting fit and losing fat. having your body would be my dream, so don’t be too hard on yourself for slacking off for a bit. everybody goes through those periods, haha!

  47. Its ok to feel this way and just acknowledging this, is one step closer to your goal! With determination and will you can DO anything!!! I wish u good luck with no temptations!!!! Im sure you will achieve ur goal!!! We are here for you just as you are for each and everyone of us!!! x x

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