Being Called FAT. It hurts. And you don’t forget.

Hello POPsters,

Yesterday I announced the winners of the Kallisti Body chain. The winners were selected based on their thoughtful answers to “What makes you feel beautiful?” One entry that particularly touched me was Cari Garvey’s. She talked about how growing up people taunted her for her size and how she will never forget the hurt that she endured for being overweight.

Her story touched me because I know the hurt. I was once called fat. It was 13 years ago. I was at a family birthday party, we were all eating together at this long table with all sorts of wonderful foods laid out. I was thoroughly enjoying my plate along with my mom and sister. Then this little girl who was probably a year or two younger than me looks at me and says “Why are you so fat?”

I stopped chewing. My eyes welled up with tears. The edges of my lips curled and I fought the quivering frown overcoming my face. I dropped my fork. Ran into another room. Cried. The kind of crying where you can’t stop and you can’t breathe.

It wasn’t long before my mom chased after me and held me in her arms. She didn’t know what happened but she did try to calm me down. When I could finally catch my breathe to tell her, she laughed it off, saying that the little girl didn’t know anything and that she didn’t mean it. I eventually stopped crying. But it didn’t matter. Kids tell the truth. And the truth was, I was fat. I’ll never forget.

I was 11 years old at the time and chubby. In my yearbook pictures, I had a double chin when I smiled. It was hard to find jeans that fit me. But none of it had even bothered me up until that point. I didn’t even know I was fat. I was active, happy, doing well in school, and had friends. That was all that mattered. But from that point on, I became self conscious. I lost confidence. Body image then became something I was constantly aware of. My body dictated my feelings.

Luckily as I reached puberty, I naturally leaned out as I grew taller. In high school, I was on the Varsity tennis team for 4 years and didn’t ever have to think about working out. It was just part of my routine. I didn’t know much about nutrition either so I’d notice that I’d get skinny on season and gain weight off season/in the summer. One September when I got back to school one of my closest friends straight up told me “You look bigger.” I clearly remember defending myself, saying “No, it’s just the sweater, really I didn’t.” I begged her to understand. It was like I was fighting for skinny. It hurt so much. That was 8 years ago. I was 16.

I would say that from that conversation on, I began my struggle with body image satisfaction. No, I never had an eating disorder or anything, but I can confess that I am very hard on myself when I look in the mirror. I see things I wanna improve, just like any other girl. It’s a bad habit, but being the perfectionist that I am, the goals get harder and harder to reach every time.

Do you know that every time I put up a new video, I have this fear that one of the commenters will say “looks like you got fatter”? I don’t think it’s happened yet, but it’s bound to. I’ve lost definition and put on a few pounds since I moved back to the West Coast. Not gonna lie. I can envision this happening when I read the fat comment…I will freeze up, have chills run down my spine, and think back in detail to when I was 11.

Being called fat is something that is offensive and hurtful. It’s something I can forgive, but I cannot forget. Being called fat is a personal attack on your most vulnerable self. It’s a physical insult that leaves an emotional scar.

But like anything else, we must move on to continue growing. Where do you go from here? You begin by removing yourself from that person or the situation that is making you feel horrible. You are still amazing, regardless of what you look like. (Remember how content I was before that girl called me fat?) If you choose to change your physical appearance/lose weight, then do it with passion and know that you’re doing it for the right reasons. Confidence. Health. Fitness. Then enjoy the journey. Find happiness in your day to day struggles and happiness when you reach your destination. Life is too short to be sad over things like this. Just keep remembering that you are resilient and that you can conquer anything you put your mind to. You just need to want it badly enough.

QUESTION: Are you hurt when someone calls you fat? How did you feel and what did you do to make things better?

PS: I’m banning the word “fat” from my vocab, and you should too. That’s no way to describe a person.

Comments

  1. If you are banning the word fat from your vocab, then how do you describe people who are overweight? Denying to call people fat does not change the fact that the person is fat. It actually makes the problem worse because the fat person does not have motivation to lose the weight. Also, being fat is a personal choice. Whether it is made with your conscience or subconscious, it is a choice that you make everyday when you eat, and excersise. Everyone (excluding people with actual conditions) have the capacity to get healthy and fit, but do not actually posses the drive to do it. They say they want it, but their daily choices say otherwise. Fat people always claim that they have tried everything, weight watchers, etc. and that nothing works for them, which tells me that they don’t really and truly want to lose weight. If they really wanted to lose weight they would lose weight, even without any fancy-ass pills and programs. I have put in countless hours of work and effort to keep my weight where I want it, and when people who are fatter than me are jealous of my defined abs and veins in my arms and legs, I tell them that I put in the work and that they can have this too but need to really want it. Go get motivated and stick to it, don’t sit around and complain. Go get off your ass and workout right now then eat healthy… doesn’t even have to be small meals, just really healthy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ

  2. My friend and i joke around about being fat cause we r LOL but we dont care we maintain and still pig out at times XD but they we lost alot of weight we r both 11 and in 5th.. i get called fat alot and so i just be like bitch ur the fat one here. (im not FAT FAT i look skinny but i weigh alot!)

  3. Talk to your family about it. They’re your best support mechanism. Once they understand, everything will become easier. Tell them that everytime they joke about your weight it makes you feel worse about yourself. Try the workouts Cassey posts and try to follow the calander. Drink lots of water and try to eat clean :)

  4. No please don’t starve yourself. That’s the worst thing you could ever do. You’ll either get an eating disorder or you’ll gain more weight because when you starve yourself, your body doesn’t know when it’s going to get it’d next meal and will go into survival mode. This means that it will store every ounce of fat. So you’ll be unhappy and be going backwards. I’m in the same position as you though. I do sports everyday and I’m also the average weight but I feel far and I think I look fat too. I’ve tried doing the workouts but I don’t have the motivation to carry on so it gets hard to lose weight. Just try to find a sport that you love doing and keep at it. Don’t forget to eat clean. Confidence is beauty so be confident. Every time someone calls you fat, thank them. It’ll just add to your motivation. Good luck!!!

  5. It really hurts being called fat … Me and my friends were in this chat so some of my friends are boys and half are girls so one of my friends added this guy to the chat and he was wondering who I was cause for some reason he knows all of the others so after some time he remembered and said ” oh the fat one” and it really hurted me so I just left the whole chat and cried abt it because he doesn’t know how hard it is ….sometimes boys can be really off

  6. That’s it. I’ve been called fat 2 times in 3 months this year and I’m the average weight it says on websites and says the doctor.but I’m done. I don’t care what no one says I’m i quit eating. I will eat a little though like 3 granola bars a day. I feel fat even though I’m in sports so i decided I’m starving myself

  7. I am 14 years old, and the other night, I was on younow, a live video chat app, with my two pretty, skinny, blonde-haired, blue-eyed friends. I was having a great time, until one comment appeared on the screen “the girl on the far right is a little bit fat?” I looked at it, immediately realizing he was talking about me. I brushed it off, laughing about it, and being sarcastic, so I didn’t look hurt at all, when in reality, my weight has been something I’ve struggled with for years. My sisters used to joke about it at dinner with the family, not realizing that I had gone to the bathroom and gagged myself until I threw up. I’ve tried countless diets, and downloaded hundreds of weight loss apps, and calorie counting websites. I don’t know what to do anymore. My family and friends say I’m not fat, but I know. I can’t go in changing rooms at clothing stores without sitting, looking at myself in the mirror and trying not to cry. I’m constantly covering up my stomach with my hands, making sure no one can see my stomach. I make myself sick. I don’t know what to do and I want is to be confident in myself.

  8. I am going to the weight. Clinic but i need results to have. Them stop. Pushing me around..it hurts tosee me in pictures. Fat not one good pictures. With myfamily help

  9. Every one calls me miss piggy in my family. I am 300 pounds i need to lose about 150 pounds help me i needs support please

  10. I am extremely hurt. I’m 16 years old, 5’2′, and 126 pounds. I’m usually very happy with my weight and I execrise almost daily and enjoy it. Sometimes I just feel like I’ve made tons of progress and I’m so happy with myself. My mom is Asian though and I inherited my dads larger frames body, so my mom constantly yells at me and calls me fat, saying that I should lose 10 more pounds and I’ll finally be pretty. It really hurts me and makes me ashamed and feel like all the work I did was worthless. So far I havent found anything to make myself feel better, but when I do I know I’ll be 100x happier.

  11. I’m a 14 years old girl, 157 cm and my weight is 50 kg which
    I’ve been called fat too, by someone I don’t even care about but it still hurt me, because I find myself too fat too.
    I seriously wish boys would think before they speak, they can be so rude to girls…

  12. Hi, i’m Heli and i’m 16. My height is 152cm and i weigh 56kgs. Being called fat is of course the meanest thing and its a really sharp weapon that ‘those people’ carry with their mouths. It hurts me at first when people called me fat but then i get used to it. This is a bad habit but so many people called me fat so it doesnt bother me much now. But these days as my dad knows about my weight (which i hid from him) he started blaming on me for eating ao much n he shouted at me infront of his workers n he kept on shouting the same things over and over until i cant take it anymore and my tears dropped, i wanted to hold it in but i cant help it then i ran upstairs and started crying so hard that i couldnt breathe it hurts so bad. Ive never been to that type of situation before and now im crying while telling this here because he just said things to me again and it hurts real bad. Ive been crying for half an hour now i just cant stop m sorry but is it all my fault for eating so much for being fat?? Cant i just be happy with what m doing?? Of course every girls want to be pretty and skinny but its not easy for fat girl like me. I have nobody to fight on this with me and it hurts me to the point where i dont want them to see me lose to see me fight this battle.

  13. I have always been on the bigger side in the Asian community. Most Asian women around me are taller than I am and weigh in the two digit range [85-99] whereas you have me who is in the three digit range. So I am considered fat in their eyes and when my mother comes to visit, she constantly reminds me of how fat I am. I know I am on the bigger end in the Asian community but I know I am not fat. I do eat a lot more than my mother does but I eat like an average person. I even recall my sister once saying to her husband “Oh aren’t you happy I am not fat.” WTF are you serious? Yes, I am a lot thicker than she is but damn that was so offensive. Especially, that time was finals week so I did have a minor weight gain. Most of the time I sucked it up. I can never compare myself to my sisters, mother, or friends. They are way skinnier than I am and if I was ever to catch up with them, I would be really unhealthy. I never criticize them with how they look and I shouldn’t. I am just so damn annoyed of being called fat because I am not fat. I am not skinny either and am pretty active.

  14. I’m 14, 5’4″, and about 123 lbs. My brother constantly calls me fat. I feel like when he does, it reminds me that I never looked like other girls because I don’t fit into a category. I’m not “fat,” I’m not “skinny,” I’m not “fit,” and I’m not average looking either. I’m at about 25% body fat with muscle underneath, making me look pudgy or bulky. I eat right, get enough sleep, I used to swim but now I’m trying to get into biking, or softball. Still, I get called fat by my brother and occasionally by my dad…

  15. Im facing the same problem, im in a relationship with a guy from 7 months and have cried many times because of him calling me fat and whenever i told him not to or im happy with how i am he will started telling me he is just joking but will start calling me again.The truth is yes,i am indeed 75 kg and i am pretty healthy but i tried so hard to look beautiful for him and for me to grew confidence but today im very much broke and i had a fight with him just now…i don’t know am i doing the right thing or not.

  16. Only that piece of that advice is it doesn’t work. I wish I had a dollar for every times someone told me that. That is verbal abuse. When I was 17 I was at 220 and my so-called family called me pig and swine, and a few other names. Of course they wanted me dead and my (yuck!) Stepdad put contracts out on me and would pay my ex-siblings to kill me. Or should I say they wanted to kill the pig! Now I’m 5’3″ and 130 the ex-stepdad is dead and I refuse to have anything to do with my ex-siblings. I have no relatives except my Mother whose only answer is let it go. Never! And the bullies at school at lot of them are over at 200 pounds and they got what they deserved, And I’m very happy I don’t have a family anymore? Who needs a bunch of abusive relatives anyways?

  17. I´m really sorry for what are you going through. But please, try to love yourself. You are amazing the way you are, you are also a softball player, that´s cool! Please don´t worry about what is your family saying, they themself aren´t totally perfect. I know its hard but try to ignore what they are saying, you know it isn´t truth and that´s what matters.
    Take care and stay strong, you are better then them xx

  18. You’re fortunate to only get criticised twice as you grow up… I grew up bwing called fat. I cant even recall those incidents when I gyoung, like nursery age, I had a big stomach. According to my family, it’s because of all the candies ive eaten. I cant recall how much I ate but I was pretty sure I looked like an average 5 yearold. You know kids would always have a round stomach sticking out right? My family called me fat becaise of that stomach. I didnt believe, then as time pass, I travel to and fro singapore and malaysia dialy to study eversince I was seven. I was introduced to junk foods and I ate at least 3 packets of chips every week. I grew even fatter but up to sfourteen , all that fats o.oMy body are still baby fats. I began growing from chubby baby fats to really adult fats. Those that you have to work really harx to get rid of. Im fifteen now and I am trying to believe that I can be slim. I will be slim by prom. Okay back to the fat insults. Every single day as I see my family members, they would say that im fat or I’ve grown horizontally very much. Let me list out. As my eldest brother would tell me to get out of his sight because I look disgusting with this body. Occasionally when I ask for tips to workout, he will discourage me by saying that I will never be able to lose weight. I would cry and cry and cry. Then my parents and elder sister: when ever they meet me, they would ask me “you became fatter again?” And whenever theres reunion at my hometowns, up to 8 adults from each parents side would comment about my fatty body. I dont even know how to feel right now. You say to avoid those who called you fat. Yep I dont even want to interact with my family, I love my friend more than anyone kn the family. People say that family are their shelter support (im crying now ) hufffft id say family is just rude strangers living with me. There wasnt a moment when I felt loved. Just today, 4 relatives asked me if I exercised, I said I do, because im actually a softballer. Then other 2 adults said that I seem fatter than the last time. I felt so hurt, I grew taller but they did not even notice. There wS once I saw mmy aunts bad mouthing me in their family group thqt my mum was in. They said not to feed me so much chocolate but the thing is I donf even eat chocolate. I stopped eating sweet food for months already and they are saying that to my mum without knowing a single thing. I dodnt even know whats the point in living when my friends ignores me. It felt like I had no where to go and I cant even commit suicide when my so called family is at home

  19. Not a Fun Life says:

    Today, my friend texted me and said, don’t be mad, but you’re fat. And she made it worse. She said she made up a program called ‘Operation Bikini Body.’ I am actually in middle school and people call me a fat pig behind my back. It hurt so bad and she then got mad at me when I confronted her. I have had problems with her in the past, but now, I don’t know what to do know.

  20. Something happened to me today that I didn’t think would bother me this much. Before about 5 months ago, I have to admit I was a pretty unhealthy person. I would just snack out of pure boredom and eat like 3 ice cream sandwiches a day. When I went to the doctor’s to get my physical, I was shocked by my weight. So I decided to turn my life around. I started following your workout calendar and eating clean. Now here I am, a momentarily confident 14 year old girl, although still very body conscious, I’m working on it.

    Jumping back to today, this is what happened. It was after our 2 mile run and I was feeling pretty tired and to top it all off, one of my so called friends grabbed my thigh and said “You have thunder thighs ha ha”. I just said “I don’t need you to point out the flaws I already see.” and I walked away from her. My others friends were comforting me and initially I wasn’t really bothered by what she said.

    Something happened during my walk home though. I just snapped. I remembered what she said and i just started crying and bawling in the middle of the sidewalk. I’m pretty sure other people could see me and thought it was funny or whatever. I forced myself to walk home, eyes puffy and red, and continued to cry when I got home. This was strange because it’s not like I haven’t been called fat before. I mean, I didn’t really bother me as much as today. I’ve been working so hard and to have someone just out of the blue, comment on my thighs, really hit me.

    So I’m curled up on my couch crying and I realize what I’m doing. What I’ve done, it wasn’t easy. I have lost 10 pounds and gained a lot of more confidence and muscle than I had 5 months ago. What she says doesn’t matter because in my heart I know that I’m always going to be improving as a person.

    So so many people get so wrapped up in their bodies and tend to forget that there are other important things in life. Maybe you’re good at math or cooking. Maybe you’re a funny person or a considerate friend. There’s so many things you’re amazing at and your body doesn’t define you as a person, it’s just a part of it.

    Now if you want to change yourself, like I did, it’s not going to be easy. That parts pretty obvious.
    but you have to remember who you’re doing it for. Are you doing it for the people that call you names and disrespect you and label you?? Or are you doing it for yourself because you want to finally wake up and be happy and confident and enjoy YOUR life. My parents always asked me things like, why are you doing this who called you fat? I just told them, it wasn’t because someone told me lies, it was because I was unhappy with my current self and I wanted to become stronger and healthier.

    Just focus on what’s important to you in life right now. What really makes you happy! Maybe having a nice body is part of it but remember, don’t let others define who you and or your body . I’m sitting here typing this and I can feel myself feeling happier and my tears (literally) drying up. Thanks for reading all this because it comes from my heart.

    Cece

  21. Those people have no idea what they’re are talking about. Don’t listen to them! I see that you want to lose weight, and first thing you need to do is starting to love your body. If you always call yourself ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’ your body will never change. and don’t worry. if you really want to commit, you can and WILL lose gain confidence, willpower, and muscle.

  22. I am 13 years old grade 8 and I am 189 pounds I know I am fat I get called fat a lot and I hate it I get called fat by my family my brothers sisters and parents and relatives and people at school , I don’t know I’ve tried to lose weight but I cant. Each of my friends have called me fat and even the ones I think are nice have . Today someone called me “fattie” my so called best friend came to me and said haha he just called you fat that’s so rude and I just smiled I didn’t know what to do!

  23. Being called fat isn’t nice. Ive been a big girl all my life and ive never had a lot of problems the kids or people on the outside being cruel, but its my family that says the hurtful things. One minute we’re good and then they stare. Following the stare comes “you need jenny craig”, “you should go on weight watchers”, “im going to sign you up for the biggest loser”. Its just so hard hearing these things everyday. There was one woman when I was younger and everytime we would go over her house she would ask “how much do you weigh” and why are you so fat. It didnt bother me when I was younger, but im 23 now and I hear these things everyday. Its starting to take a toll on me, I cry more now than ive every cried before.

  24. Fatandhatemyself says:

    I am 43 years old and in the last few years I have put on about 30 pounds. Some of the gain is stress and some from hea

  25. That reminds me of the time a couple of weeks ago where something similar happened to me. I have been recently swimming to try to control my weight and I have been watching what I eat, so when my training buddy and I went to weigh ourselves after a particularly hard practice I went first and as soon as I stepped on the scale I hear “wow not much progress for you!!” Umm bitch who do you think you are to talk to me like that. I wanted to punch my “training buddy” in the face. Im only around 5’7 and and around 145. I was trying to be open with this “friend” and told them that I wanted to put on around 10 pounds and try to make my abs tighter, and he was trying to do similar things. Only problem was that he was making progress and actually gained the weight that he wanted to. Anyways, we are obviously not friends anymore and I have increased my food intake to around 5-6000 cal/day (had huge plate of fries for lunch today :) ) so I hope that I can gain some muscle and pass him by the end of this year. Moral of the story is to not let your friends judge you!! Ill keep you posted on my progress.

  26. He says you need to lose weight? Tell that asshole he needs to get off his ass and stop being a sorry excuse of a dad who’s gonna end up drunk and homeless covered in his own piss in 3-4 years.

  27. One of the last times I saw my friend, we went to one of her training classes. She weighed herself, and pressured me to get on the scale. I did. I will always regret weighing myself in front of her. I’m about 5’2, and it was 181bs. She said “Wow, you’re pushing 200, you really need to do something about that.” WTF bitch!? I defended myself, telling her that I exercise, and she had the nerve to ask examples of my exercises, to I told her I use the elliptical, my yoga ball, mow the lawn, etc etc. Later that evening she said, “I don’t mean to be pushy, I just don’t want to get a call that you’re in the hospital from a heart attack, cause you’re at risk for cholesterol and heart problems.” Hello woman, I do look in the mirror, I’m aware I need to lose weight! So I retorted, “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” She finally dropped it. I’m still pissed, and the next time I saw her, I didn’t eat anything in front of her. I’ll probably never eat or weigh myself in front of that particular friend again, since I obviously can’t trust her to keep the unsolicited advice to herself.

  28. Don’t let his words get to you. You can confront him if you want. You can tell him about your progress, hwo you’re trying so hard to be healthier and that it hurts that he calls you this way. Maybe it’ll make him think and not say things like these again to anyone and maybe you’ll feel better with yourself. You can also not do it. It’s okay. It’s your choice. But please, don’t let it get to you. You can cry if you want, it’s actually really good for you to let out all these emotions – rmember though just because he said these things doesn’t make them true. You’re so strong and so brave for working out and eating healthy and trying to change your life. If he can’t see that – too bad. We know the truth. ;) Just carry on and remember you’re amazing, no matter what some guy says.

  29. Maybe it would be good to talk thing out with her. Tell her exactly why you don’t want to talk to her, what calling people fat can make people feel, give her some examples… Make her see, so she won’t hurt someone in this way ever again. Don’t bottle this all up though. Getting offended and not talking to someone is never a good choice. It’s poisoning and destroying and it won’t do any good to any of you. Be the love you want to see in the world. Good luck! :)

  30. Now, now, what do you mean that you don’t think you’ll ever eat again? You’re on this page because you’re a popsters and popsters lose weight in a healthy way, my dear. ;) Be patient, follow Cassey’s adive, maybe her workout calendar or meal-plan and don’t let comments like this one get to you. People can be cruel and careless in what they say. Don’t takie it too personally, honey.

  31. Hello there, Cassey! I know it’s an old post but I’ve only just read it and – you know, I’ve been following your instagram and youtube and this site for quite some time now, workoud with you, loved you, and I can recall every time you gained a few pounds for some reason it would become a big issue to you, the one that couldn’t vanish ’til the additional pounds did. And I just… I know you’re so into growing and being confident and free but I feel like you might not be free completely, like the issue of your body still exists for you, this 11 year-old version of you still fresh in your mind, and I thought – why not put your self-discovering journey on an another level? I’m talking a therapy here, or meetings with counsellor, whatever, really. I just feel like this issue of you is something that needs to be talked troughht and worked on once and for all. So you can be finally completely free. Regardless of the comments on your body. Please, consider it. I love you :)

  32. A guy I’ve never actually had a relationship of any kind with, but who is really good friends with my two best friends called me fat behind my back yesterday. One of my friends told me about it today and I don’t know what to do. I’m FURIOUS because he has no right to say that about me. It also really destroyed my confidence because I lost SO MUCH weight these past few months (over 20 pounds) and he calls me fat and disgusting. I’m thinking about confronting him about it but I wouldn’t know what to say… So I just cry.

  33. literally same omg im so sorry

  34. jade-amethyst says:

    To anyone reading

    I recently overheard my one good friend calling another friend ‘fatty’. I asked her what she said, she told me and after a stare I’d given her expressing my disgust, she stopped speaking to me. We’ve had it out and she told me it was a joke. I’ve stuck with my decision and we haven’t spoken in a while. She told me I was projecting my own insecurities onto the situation.

    (I told her how in my teens my father mentions something about wobble, and from a carefree mind where body image was concerned, I became a stickler for self-critique. I’ve worked intensely on myself over the years doing ‘I am teachings’ and using the Louise Hay book. I’m very happy in my body – even though I have those days when my mind and the mirror serve harsh judgment. In no way was I projecting my own insecurities.)

    I never spoke up about the comment, perhaps I was ashamed, shocked or embarrassed, nevertheless I didn’t. I have a feeling there are other people who would keep quiet too.
    I’m close to many girls who after being called ‘fatty’ or ‘chubby’ even as a joke, have never been able to reclaim that confidence again.

    Our world today is a judgmental world, and with the media shoving ideals into our faces, its difficult to not judge yourself and others. I still don’t believe it gives people a right to say anything mean, demeaning or harsh to anyone, no matter how they feel its justified.

    I’m sticking to my guns on this one, for the girls I’ve just mentioned, for those who never said anything and because I know how it feels to have that said about you (sometimes even when it’s not true and is intended as a joke)

    Right now we’re not talking, everyone in class keeps trying to get us to make up but they don’t know the reason why…
    Am I being to harsh on her?

    Advice welcomed :)

  35. This morning at work my boss said to me “your eating again? No wonder you have a gut.”
    Now I am a mother of 2 amazing children and weigh 150 pounds. I do have curves but have never considered myself to big or overweight. That comment she made shut me down completely. I was speechless and completely offended.I honestly don’t think I will ever eat again. That comment has shattered my confidence. I felt like a cow the entire rest of my day. I hate that someone can make me feel that low. I’m now determined to loose weight!

  36. At school other girls in my class always call me fat, & I ignore. I’m only 13 years old and I weigh 52kg. I don’t think it’s bad but then the way they say it. But at the end of the day I know I have a singing talent. I think the girls are just jealous of my personality….

  37. I’m turing 15 in less then a month, and I’ve been over weight for as long as I remember. I remember being 5 or 6 when I first noticed I wasn’t the same as all the other kids. I’ve always had really good friends who would always tell me that I was perfect the way I was, but I could never think that myself. Everyday since I was around 11 or 12, the fear of people around me noticing my weight has terrified me. I even began sucking in my stomache when I was out in public at that age, and I can’t seem to stop. I even developed a social anxiety disorder from being so self conscious. I often lay in bed and cry because of how badly I feel of myself. The worst part is, no one knows this. I had lived every day of my life surrounded by friends, always being the funny one, but once I go home, I’m a mess.

  38. Firstly, thank you to all the brave people who posted – it has encouraged me to share some of my story and let go off some emotional baggage that I privately have held on for far too long! From a young age my weight has fluctuated and i was constantly scrutinized by family, informing me of my weight gains,as if i didn’t already know. Dinner times were hard, if i attempted to get seconds my Mother would say ” Do you really need that” or “should you have any more” continuously making me feel guilty. This slowly led to me hiding food and binge eating after dinner. Guilt then set in and i started to purge what i ate. My mother caught me once and said i was “selfish for wasting food “. This led to a confusing time for me. I gained a lot of weight from this time and comments were relentless. Melissa you must weigh the same amount as all your family members put together… Melissa – don’t have a bath the water will over flow, oh wait can you fit in the bath…oh Melissa you would be so much prettier if you lost those extra pounds… Melissa, it would be nice to wrap my arms around you…Why don’t you lose weight… and this is from family! Just today as I was walking with a work colleague who just had a baby, another colleague commented on my weight by saying to me – “I cant tell which one of you had the baby” he then laughed and continued with his day. A comment he would not have a second thought about had me in a sobbing state as soon as i got home. As i was feeling down i googled..”someone just called me fat” and here i am. So yes of course it hurts, every word, every feeling of being less of a person because you are overweight, every tear that has been shed, it remains. So, how to cope, persevere – listen to the opinions of those who matter – address how you feel with that person. All things that are easy to say, yet a continuous struggle to do.

  39. Sometimes when people are bullied, it makes them feel bad about themselves. To feel stronger, they take it out on other people by bullying them. The mean girl picked on you, because she felt bad about herself. There is nothing wrong with you, and just ignore her. <3

  40. I have read a few comments and I was shocked by how offensive some people, even your friends and family can be. It is hard when you get called fat, and I am sorry if you are hurt because of that. BUT REMEMBER THAT WEIGHT IS NOT THE ONLY THING ABOUT YOU. You can be smart, you can be good at playing piano, you can draw very well, you are kind, you have a beautiful smile, you are funny. This is what makes you amazing, not how much you weigh. Everytime people say that you are fat, remember that it is because they feel insecure about themselves. This is why they want to bring you down. Stay strong, and smile. You are amazing. :)

  41. From what I have read in that post, you are a strong person. You are fighting an ED, and you are fighting to not to let judgemental people in this world make you sad. Keep fighting! Stay healthy, and always remember that your body isn’t the only thing that dictates whether you are good enough. You are a strong fighter, and this is what matters. :)

  42. Hi,

    I read your story…I’m so sorry for everything that happened it must have been awful! My mom has always called me fat too, from the age of 4 or 5. I basically lived my WHOLE ENTIRE life listening to the dreadful words of my mother. And as a 5 year old, I never understood. I didn’t care…what 5 year old would? Sometimes, I feel she only says these things just because I am way taller for my age, so logically my weight has to be the bigger numbers as well…But I think all she wanted was a smaller girl, a thinner and prettier girl to brag about and to showcase. That was never the case for me. In fact, not once did she say it could be ‘better for my health’. All she did say is that I’d get a boyfriend and people will compliment me and I could be a model. She made it seem I’d ONLY be doing this for the sake of peoples selfish opinions. As I grew older, the words stung harder. Weight is already an issues for teens and on top of that, is calling me fat. However, whenever she mentioned my weight to the doctor, all she’d say is that I’m an average weight, no need for losing or gaining, which, of course made me cheer a little on the inside. Yet STILL she feels the need to call me fat and shame me. Through my habits, I felt self-conscious about what the people at school would think of me and in fact, covered myself up with longer shirts and pants to hide myself. Even in the Summer! And it surprised me quite a lot when my mom had no idea why I was doing it even though she was the reason I’m doing this. This had created so much anxiety that I was scared of meeting new people. And she would also tell her friends about it as well in front of me! Of course, they didn’t say anything but I felt emotionally hurt that my mom tried to make other people pressure me into the person SHE wanted. Don’t get me wrong, but I LOVE my mom! She cares for me and hopefully I can do it one day too. But when it comes to weight, I feel as if there is nothing else she will care about. My self esteem is destroyed, I’m still working hard to feel good about my body.

  43. It’s horrible to hear those words. I’m in the middle of the struggle with bulimia. It’s something I have to fight every single day, everytime I have to eat someone, if I walk passed a food store, if I see someone eating something or talking about food,… The people I love know about my struggle and support me. But today I was in the car with my friend’s mom and she told me I had to walk the last 5 minutes to my house because I needed some exercise. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant so I asked her… I still wish I hadn’t. She told me I would become fat otherwise. I asked why, to know if she thought I was fat. She said it was coming to that point…

    My friend tried to save the whole situation, but I just wanted to get out of that car as fast as possible. I didn’t know what to do with myself and I’m still crying. ONE comment like that could trigger the whole bulimia-thing again, that’s what’s so hard in recovery. I try to accept myself every single day, I want to look in the mirror and just be satisfied with what I see.

    Since the whole problem started, I’m also having a hard time at college. My first year was excellent, and now I just can’t focus anymore. Everything is about the looks. I can spent hours, days watching Instagram feeds about fitness, health, beautiful bodies and people. I want to believe it motivates me to become more healthy, but in fact it just makes everything worse. I constantly remind myself why I’m not good enough, by comparing myself to famous (photoshopped?) people.

    The people I love support me, but the problem is I’ve become so good at hiding my thoughts, feelings. I know exactly what to say or do so that they wouldn’t think of me as ‘that girl with the eating disorder, or even just “that girl with the problems” ‘. I’d hate to stand the thought of people looking at me and that they would think I’m weak. Because I think of myself as weak, but it’s so much harder when you have to hear that from others.

    It’s the same thing with people calling you ‘fat’ or anything like that. You already believe that you are all those things, but it’s another thing to hear it from somebody else. It just strengthens your belief that you’re not good enough, ‘because they said so’. I always have this small sparkle of hope inside of me, that someone would think of me as ‘good enough’, or even better, that there would actually be something ‘good’ about me. But that small, wandering, sparkle of hope just gets crushed by any kind of negative comments or feedback.

    Right now, I’m just trying to keep that sparkle alive, and I hope it will one day fill my life with the joy of just being happy with myself. One day.

  44. A girl who's hurting says:

    I understand people who have weight issues, I have one myself. I personally know I’m not that heavy but my family never fails to tell me I am! Especially my brother, when ever I eat around him he always makes an effort to say something rude such as “eating, is that all you do.” When ever I’m sitting on the couch he will always tell me to move because I take up to much room! As a young child I have always struggled with my weight, and quite frankly when I think about my childhood I only seem to remember the rude comments of other people rather than any good times I had! Words hurt and yes they can be forgiven but they can never be forgotten!

  45. This was really hard for me too. I think fat is a very offensive word no matter what. I grew up with anorexia and bullimia and it was hard. I didn’t enjoy eating food growing up and also I couldn’t eat well. I was pretty healthy in highschool and my first two years in college for eating clean and being really restrictive with my diet but also exercising daily.

    But my last year of college I lost it. I gained 20LBs from eating junkie and I came back home. It was really hurtful because my mom would comment my body image and weight and it destroyed me. So I am trying to regain my prime days but it’s a struggle because once you have eating disorder, it somehow stays with you. And I am developing bullimia again and have very low self-esteem. It’s very hurtful that my own mother would comment and compare me with celebrities and other models. Being the skinny smaller girl throughout my life but now being not as skinny is hard. People who knew me since I was little commented, “You got fat!” “You gained lot og weight” is really hurtful. To this day I am tryin to get back to what I was.

  46. I get called fat or chubby, but most of the time its chubby. Once we were visitng my grandma & she had made food for us, I was already dieting so I limited myself to drinking lots of liquids & eating once a day. But I remember her telling me, “Hey fatso, aren’t you gonna eat?” & I just stared at her & she laughed. I didn’t think it was funny at all. The thing is, I don’t feel as if I’m fat just chubby. & she’s bigger than me. She always takes my older sister shopping & then she tells me “You need to lose a lot of weight before I take you to buy clothes, because you’re too big” I’m 5’3 & I have a bigger bust & bottom than my older sister does, but I have a small waist. After all the torment I had gotten from her I began to stop talkinh to her. But she came up to me & said “Why did your dad tell me that you don’t talk to me because I call you fat? It’s the truth!” & I started crying. Not only she calls me fat but my dad has before as well. It sucks being called fat & getting made fun of for it. I’ve thrown up my food before & starved myself to the point where I’ve passed out, buy nobody really cares.

  47. When I was 5, my mom would go to work before I came back from school, and my dad would be there. My mom left me and my older brother food but my dad would never help us heat it up, so he would take us to McDonald’s or or fast food. After a few months and a few peanut butter and marshmallow creme sandwiches I got bg but, I didn’t know till my brother said “Gained 1or 2 HUNDRED lbs?!” I didn’t know what to say I was so sad I went to my dad but he said he agrees with him it made me so sad. I ran to my room with hot chocolate mixture and ate them I got bigger and bigger 1st grade 80lbs 2nd grade 105-130 3ed 150-178 4th 180-190 then 5th 200-211 I was so sad because I looked at photos I was huge and my brother made sure I knew that he called me “fatty, ugly, huge, reaterd, I just take up space time and food.”

    I’ve learned to accept I’m big and I will never be a “stick figure” even if I want but my brother will. I know I’m pretty and I’m a good singer but there’s two things I’m sad about,once a boy came up to me and said “is that your brother?” I said yes and it was and under his voice he said “then why are you so fat and he is so skinny?”then he started to walk over to him. The last thing is I never knew thee was bad food when I was little if my mom had stayed home from work and fed us well, I would not be a “fatty”

    Thanks for ryour time

  48. Everyone yur not fat yu just have fat so dont say those things cause then it doeant male yu feel better most of the time

  49. It actually does hurt being called fat!I remember last year when I was in primary school this guy whom used to be my “friend”.I acted like I didn’t care and I fought back.When I got home I cried and cried,My sister caught me crying and asked what was wrong.She comforted me and I felt ok.My mom used to give me lectures about loosing weight,I was about 9 or 10 then.I wasn’t that fat tbh,I was an average 9 year old.I felt like she hated me and it killed me to look at her anytime I woke up.Recently her and my dad told me that I have to cut down on some foods and all that.I have lost quite a good chunk of weight.After the said this I didn’t want to eat dinner.They told me why didn’t I come down for dinner and I said “I’m not hungry”,she said “but you haven’t eaten since breakfast”(all I had was green tea and a lemon slice).They started to feel sorry and they began to force me to eat
    I wouldn’t even drink a glass of water.Thats how bad it was getting.They don’t talk about weight anymore and have gotten soo supportive!I haven’t had any sugar today and I’m really proud :) xxx don’t ever call anyone FAT it’s worse then a punch!

  50. When I was living in Japan, all my friends and students there said it is normal to tell someone when they are starting to look fat. They think it’s helpful, and that not telling someone that they should lose weight is being a bad friend.

    I don’t like it. As a kid I was called fat by my immediate family members, even though I wasn’t fat. I just matured faster and was thicker than most other girls my age (I’m actually the smallest person in my immediate family). I feel I am a pretty strong and energetic person, even more so when I was younger. But I felt like I was emotionally scarred into believing I was fat and obsessed over my body so much that it’s affecting me majorly as an adult. I’m just starting to realize I have an eating disorder.

  51. Danielle says:

    My boyfriend called me ugly and fat yesterday. He’s called me fat before but yesterday he said I’m getting bigger. He said “your still young, you need to go excersize or else in 3-4 years your gonna get 300-400 pounds.” I’m only 17, I have a 6 month ol baby. His dad won’t watch him long enough for me to even take a hour jog or walk. It’s to hot to have a little baby out in the heat for an hour, plus he doesn’t like his stroller to much so most likely I will carry him the whole time. I can’t lose waight just like that. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I’ve been called fat ugly for sure, all the time. But i learned to cope with it just because I was use to it. But I’m not use to being called fat and ugly by the love of my life. I mean he doesn’t call me beautiful anymore he literally calls me ugly and tells me I’ve ” gained some weight”. I’m so hurt. I don’t know how to cope, I’ve been with him for almost 2 years and he’s never made me feel this way about myself. I love him a lot, he’s the father of my baby. But I don’t know what to do. He’s clearly not happy with me anymore because of my appearance and I am defiantly not happy with him making me feel ugly and highly self conscious. I’m balling my eyes out. I’ve never hated myself so much. I’m afraid to eat. When I see myself in the mirror all I see is a fat cow and I get disgusted. I hate myself.

  52. I have been called fat a few times and it still hurts to be called fat because Im 12 I’m 5’3 and I have big thigh which I hat but I been exercising to lose thigh and stomach but today I have been called fat by my father few time and it hurts me by that. So sometime I would eat little food or nothing at all he time me that I’m just going to eat one piece of chicken today and I did argue cause that wasn’t good for my health but now I feel better about myself cuz I learned to love mybody no matter what

  53. Being fat really does hurt, I’m glad someone has experience what I did/am. I’m 15 and ever since I was 12 my family has always called me fat. Mostly my mom and grandma. My dad used to a little but he stopped. The thing that hurts the most is that they call me fat, but they know I’m working on my weight. I’m not that fat. I have big boobs, rather skinny waist, with a big butt(thanks squats!). Anyways I am trying to work on my weight and I’m doing the best I can but all they do is call me fat and it doesn’t motivate me, it depresses me. It does make me work harder , it makes me hate me look in the mirror even if I lose 20 pounds, all I will see is that girl who my family has been calling fat for years. I hate it so much . I have an older sister who is has a body like me but my family doesn’t say anything about her weight to her. Nothing. It’s just me. My mom isn’t that skinny, she has weight too but she always picks on me. I’ve grown the hate the girl in the mirror. If I lose 10 pounds, 50 pounds, or even 100, I will always see myself has the fat girl

  54. You should be thankful that people call you fat? We all know that we’re fat because of people like you and the rest of society labeling and ridiculing us. For most of my life, I was blessed to have a decent metabolism. I considered myself average in weight, not model skinny. I was happy with my size but my own mother and grandmother would constantly critique my body. In the past three years I fell into deep depression and gained 60 pounds in one year. And you know what I got? Instead of a mother who would support me and encourage me to overcome my depression, she would brush it off as me making things up to get attention and then criticize me for how fat I looked EVERY DAY. And I should be THANKFUL for that?! I hit my rock bottom and was struggling to recover while my own mother and grandmother continued to bring me down and ridicule my body image and I should be THANKFUL?! I needed help, a hand to reach out and tell me that things would get better and that I would be able to overcome this. I needed a friend who would support my goal to losing weight and commended on my hard work for trying to take back control of my life. I never got that. All I got was society critiquing my body image. There is nothing to be thankful for. I am recovering from depression because I want to take back control and be happy again. Telling me how awful I look and saying that I look like I’m a pregnant woman is not motivational. It is degrading. People like you should be ashamed to even think those tactics work on a person’s psyche. You’re no better than those magazines and public media who constantly bring down people.

  55. Ok. So I am apparently not alone out there. I am 53 years old and I read so many of the heart breaking accounts from young girls and women out there. To this day I am very over weight and I too have struggled with this all my life. Every time someone makes a fat joke, a fat comment, I try to not let it sting. Today I was at a family get-together for a family members graduation brunch. High school can be a rough time and a comment, not directed at me, but said by the high school senior that had just graduated, “I hate fat people.” For whatever reason it was said, though again, not directed at me it hurt. The reason it hurt is because after it was said, they realized what they said, and they glanced at me. I pretended I didn’t hear, but I did. Still hurts, still stings just like ions ago when I was in school. This “fat” thing has left me with virtually no self-esteem and cynical. Please watch what you say, you never know who is listening.

  56. my heart is breaking in two says:

    i am in my twenties and it still hurts when people call me fat. for the last couple weeks my brother been calling me fat and my family say that i lost lots of money and time trying to lose weight and that i will die fat because i will never lose weight. it huts me so much. i have been spending lots of time in my room to avoid people because i feel safe when i am alone without anyone calling me fat and worthless. i have bad thoughts because of the worlds that my family tell me. it has made me hate them so much that i just want to move and it is very hard for me to sit down with them and actually have a conversation. for this reason i keep myself locked in my room so that no one can see me. so i know how people feel when it comes to being called fat. it kills me inside and sometimes i dont know what to do about it but cry my heart out.

  57. This article was tough for me to read, but necessary. Thank you so much for posting.

    All my life, it has felt like my family has made it their duty to remind me how fat I am. It’s to the point where I’m not even sure what I look like anymore, I just feel like a product of what everyone tells me I am.

    One of my earliest memories of this was at the Thanksgiving table, probably when I was around 5 or 6. I reached for a piece of turkey and my grandmother swiftly swatted it out of my hand, telling my parents that I was chubby and “didn’t need any more food”. I was hungry and eventually cried. My mother took me into the next room just so that I could eat a piece of bread.

    Then in my latter years it was my father. Constantly telling me I “could stand to lose 10 pounds”. I never developed an eating disorder, but I developed an unhealthy mentality towards food. I’d go on insane diet and exercise kicks out of sheer panic for what my parents or my grandmother might think, and then inevitably relapse into a giant pile of chocolate and/or fried chicken.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is this: all my life I’ve tried and failed with controlling my weight, getting healthy ,getting in shape. I just want to feel strong and have energy and feel good about myself. Do you have any advice for how to get on track? How do you keep all the negativity out while trying to focus on yourself?

  58. Hey Hurt girl, I’m sitting here helping a friend who just got called fat too. Been called it myself a lot as well. Usually by boys who are dumb. Don’t let any dumb boy determine your happiness. Get a good comeback line like “ohhh, bullying, I see you’re finally good at something” and walk away. Then for goodness sake, go talk to someone about it!!!! If you are feeling like exploding and starving yourself, you definitely need someone to talk to. Kids help phone, a friend, a nurse, a cousellor, a teacher, a mom, anyone!! Don’t keep it bottled up inside because then you will eventually become really unhappy. Oh yeah, and tell family member how you feel. They likely think they are kidding and it doesn’t bother you (because you never show it). They need to know that you are hurting inside. And if your family happens to be full of dumb boys….good luck! Never let anyone decide how to feel about yourself. And remember, people bully because they are hurting inside too. Maybe the boy is feeling down about himself because he just read this blog and I called him dumb…sorry boy…or maybe he has zits or sucks at math. Who knows? but he puts down other people as a way to make himself feel better. It might help you to know that and maybe next time you see him, be super kind, give him a compliment. Maybe it will fill his bucket so he stops being so darn mean. Go girl!

  59. A Hurt School Girl says:

    This article was very hard to read because I feel like someday the same would happen for me… I’ve been called fat several times and it hurts so much, on the outside I look tough I say everything is ok but as soon as I get home I lock my doors and cry in my bathroom. My own family also insults me and tells me that I’m fat all the time. Today I was calledft again, this guy asked everyone “where are u from?” I said I’m from a mythical place I might be a dragon or a fairy as a joke and he just murmured under his breath “an overweight fairy who can’t fly” to be honest inside I felt like I was going to explode into tears! I know I’m fat I don’t needs to be told that! I’m starving myself and I have nobody to talk to abou this… This article really helped me… Thanks for reading

  60. I just got bullied at school today i was walking to the bathroom with my friends we walked inside and 3 other girls from my class
    We’re in there 2 of them i was friends with but 1 im not so all of a sudden she starts saying Macayla you talk to much i just ignored her ,2 other girls walked in whom I don’t know and the bully Mekka called me
    Fat the 2 other people who i don’t know started saying dont say that!and the other 2 girls were saying calm down Mekka!my 2 best friends were saying are you alright i said yes lieng and hid my tears.Then i left and my 2 BESTIES came to one of my BESTIES was friends with the bully but not anymore .I went back to home and did not say anything.i dont know if i should tell my dad plz help-10 year old

  61. Okay what the hell?! I’ve been scrolling through these comments and feeling sad, but this is the only one that has made me want to stop and comment. That is awful, and it’s called psychological abuse. Annie, I hope you know that is NOT right, and is not what a father should even THINK of saying. If he does this on a regular basis, you really need to cut him out of your life, like Ashe did to her sister above, and you should consult a counselor, because that is literally abuse. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

  62. Daniela, Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry that someone is using words to hurt you. Name calling is really just a way to make another person feel better when they don’t feel very good about themselves. I know it seems like people that name call are powerful, and popular…but, that changes. Daniela, you were made with a purpose. Some of the most beautiful women I know are not SKINNY. Please don’t think being fat or being called fat defines you. Listen, you have taste buds for a reason! It’s OK that you eat. Do not stop eating. Take a paper plate and create 4 parts…write one of these topics on each part…relationships, spiritual, exercise, and food. Color in each piece of the pie according to how “good” it is. Then, write down what you can do to make yourself feel better in any of those areas. Being healthy is the most important, and that includes being kind. The people that are name calling are UNHEALTHY. Don;t strive to be like them. You don’t need to ignore those people, you just need to fill your life up with so much good stuff that you can’t hear them anymore. :) xo

  63. I’m called fat a lot… It really does hurt and I cant ignore it. Sometimes I just wish I could die and I’m trying so hard to be good enough for everybody. Yes, I do cut and yes I am suicidal. Being called fat is one of the things I’m called. Also for the question I feel like bursting into tears whenever I”m called fat also nothing ever makes things better it just floats in my mind reminding me everyday that I AM FAT… Anyways that’s my story…. Bye now!

  64. Hey girl! To answer your question, I think the point in life for you right now is to reflect if you believe what those girls said is really true. It seems as if you’re really sad and I think this is an opportunity to prove them wrong. They’ll be satisfied if you harm yourself. Ignore anyone who calls you such names but if you feel there is something wrong with your weight, you should work for it! This is coming from my personal weight loss story as well :) I was never called fat but I was definitely overweight and losing weight for two years was one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve actually lost a little more than 20 pounds–who knew?! So anyways, I don’t think you should let what those girls said eat you up inside, but if you’re still upset, it’s probably because you believe them. The best advice I have for you is to ignore the motherf*cking haters and make healthier choices ONLY if you personally feel you should. Hope this helps! And remember–the POPsters are always here for you! <3

  65. jamuna gogawale says:

    don’t worry, i will definitely help you. contact me

  66. Eva Heyward says:

    What’s the point in life

  67. Eva Heyward says:

    I was called fat today by a group of girls I try my hardest to think postive about my weight but this really hurt. They said I looked like Theodore and I’m goofy I know I’m really stupid and I don’t want them to think I’m upset and give them the satisfaction. I am so upset, I don’t know what to do but this article really helped. Thankyou

  68. This article made me sad. I think there’s a lot worse things in the world you could be than fat. No one should feel like they have to lose weight over some thoughtless comment. I’ve never been overweight and I’ve been called fat, and I’m now struggling to recover from an eating disorder. The people passing rude comments are the ones that need to change, not you because of their unwarranted opinions. It’s much better to look chubby and be healthy and happy than to lose weight because you don’t meet the standards of someone who would say hurtful things to you. Maybe they’re saying it because they feel bad about themselves, hurt people hurt people, rise above it.
    “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

  69. I admire you so much! :) You are absolutely right!

  70. Oh my goodness, you poor dear. :( Keep your head up high, and I know it’s hard, but don’t let those people bother you! You are BEAUTIFUL! :) Smile! :) Those rude and immature people are just so jelly (jealous) because you’re so pretty, so they feel the need to put you down. I’ve seen the prettiest girls sobbing their hearts out because they’ve felt so broken by the hurtful things people say, but they didn’t realize that people were just jealous and were trying to hurt them! I think that’s what is happening to you. So every time someone says something nasty, just remember that they’re just jealous of your beauty. :) No one can take that away from you, and don’t let them! :D Smile everyday and be happy, Alexis! xoxo

  71. Gurl, as hard as it is, feel sorry for that poor girl who was unkind to you! She’s clearly jealous, and I know it’s tough, but if she says anything, just give her a condescending smile and brush it off. Some people try to put you down because they’re so jealous of how beautiful you are, and those people are just not worth it!! :)
    I sincerely hope that my words offer you solace, but I know how hard it is to feel broken and hopeless. I’ve been through it before, and I really felt like I wanted to die. But you know what? Those rude, jealous, and immature people would just win. What better way is there to get back at them than to hold your head high, keep striving to better yourself and achieve your goals, and look beautiful & fabulous?
    Chin up, gurl! :) We’re all in this together, and we’ll all support you! Just like anyone else reading this post, you’re beautiful and let no-one ever tell you otherwise!

  72. I’m so sorry for what your sister put you through! That sounds awful :( No one deserves that kind of treatment, and just remember to smile; you are beautiful! (You are right to try and avoid her- you shouldn’t have to put up with that crap.)
    I used to be very skinny as a child, but since middle school, I’ve put on some weight. I’m average for my height, (I’m 15 years old, 118 pounds at 5’4 and I’m an ectomorph) but my family (especially my little brother) makes fat jokes. They used to bother me a lot, but now, I deal with it by telling them that I’m not fat- I’m just big boned. (Or during Christmas, I told them I wasn’t fat, I’m festively plump xD)
    I find that it’s so much easier to make a joke out of it and make them laugh. It shows everyone that I’m not bothered and that I really don’t care. In that sense, the atmosphere suddenly becomes friendlier and the joking doesn’t feel like it’s really intended to hurt me anymore as I am laughing with them! (And my “I’m not fat, I’m-” jokes are pretty hilarious :))
    Anyway, I completely understand that it’s so hurtful and unkind when people try to put you down- but don’t let them get to you! Chin up, gurl! :) We’re here for you, and you’re absolutely beautiful!

  73. when I was younger my brothers wrote a song about me called “YOU EAT LIKE A PIG” the will sing it to me everytime I eat :'( it hurt so bad

  74. hi everyone my name is Sophie in confidence I am going to tell u my story x I had a boyfriend called Reuben it was stupid of me to go out with him I thought he was nice I was wronge … I dumped him and since then he has been calling me ugly fat a sket a slag dumb and a geek I cant take it anymore !!!I cant help the way I am I no im not the hottest girl n the world but im definatly not fat far from it not really that ugly im a bit of a slag I suppose I walk around with short skirts full make up extensions ect but anyway don’t let people bring u down for who u r u need to be proud of who u r be proud to be different :) bye for now

  75. My sister got the habit of calling me fat from our father. I even thought about committing suicide on her birthday. “surprise, you don’t have to feel ashamed of being related to me anymore.” I’ve decided to remove her from my life, but I’m the bad guy for doing so. People talk about how you’re supposed to remove poisonous people from your life so why does that rule change because she’s family?

  76. Im 4’11 and weigh 113 and short for my age so im more compact and i hate it people who dont know me will say i am and it really does hurt. It encourages me to work harder to prove them wrog and laugj in their face when im in better shape. People are NOT fat they jusy have extra fat no one should be described as fat

  77. Jammiedodger says:

    I’m in school still and people compare me to a chipmunk and call me fat saying I’m storing for the winter even though winters ending it hurts I try to just brush it off but it hearts each time it feels like someone’s stabbed you in the heart I have had a medical condition to do with my weight and I’m recovering but every time people call me fat I feel like I wanna be anerexic just to prove them wrong but I that’s bad so I won’t but it just hurts so bad I feel like they have put a tag on me that I can’t shake off they wind me up cause they know I’m not quick enough to get my stuff back when they take It it’s hard but as people who are called fat or overweight we’ll muddle through don’t worry

  78. I had always been as thin as a rail. That is until I gave birth to my son and I ballooned. Even though I am not overweight, people still call me fat because they might be comparing me to my old self. I am a size 10 now. I do not mind being told that I gained weight or i got bigger but what i dont appreciate is the fat jokes….people throwing jokes as if they own me or had the slightest bit of idea what im going through. My father in law told me he’d ask someone to kidnap me and hide me from the world for 6 months until I lose the weight
    Or that since I am going to be a lawyer I should trim down or no one would hire me. Sometimes it hurts that all the good things you accomplished go down the drain just because you have a bit of unwanted flab somewhere. I hate living in a world where you are nothing when youre not thin.

  79. I just suddenly been overwhelmed with a horrible feeling. I’m not overweight, but I’m not entirely happy with how I look.
    so for the past 3 months i’ve been eating better and improving myself and I’m really getting a vibe from it. But I’m broken down to the bottom again. This girl i know, out of NOWHERE in our conversation, decided to tell me I look fatter. Why? the F? I don’t understand her reason. It’s getting on my nerves so much now, because she’s not even fat and she always complains that she’ll get fat. These people seriously get annoying. So even though I work so hard, she doesn’t give a damn about what I’d feel if she tells me that. So I told her that was mean and she covered it up with a halfas*ed excuse about my muscles or something. It’s so offensive. You’re honestly right, cassie. Fat and whatever you want to call someone with a little bit of extra weight is not right and I’m definitely changing the way I feel about this person. Her warped sense of beauty. I honestly don’t even know anymore. I don’t know what to do.
    I should just forget about it andd forgive her but its hard and I don’t know. I just can’t believe she’s so selfish. I can’t believe it at all.
    and it hurts.

  80. One day when i was 13 my dad was driving me home from a doctor’s appointment and i asked him if we could go for coffee and he said….
    “no, we cant. You heard what the doctor said about your weight”
    “but dad….the doctor didn’t say ANYTHING about my weight”
    “that’s only because your SO FAT that the doctor didn’t even want to mention it.”
    This made me cry, but he didnt ever apologize.

  81. right im 15 ive had it to but whats that thing what pweople say words dont brake somthig but trust it dose but not being funny but get over it ive had a lot of people trying to kill her self but it didnt work i talked her self out of it and it is just over a stupid word and if u dont like it then get help or do working out please dont just watch ur self get hart fight for your self x

  82. RAY, get the F&5K out of this page! Idiot

  83. You are joking, aren’t you? I am overweight. I gained 60 lbs after my son died because I could not handle the loss. Relatives have called me fat and it hurts. I know I need to lose weight and am working on that in my own time. What I do not need is commentary or personal attacks by people who are supposed to love and support me. I appreciate it when people notice that I am healthier, however I do not need to be torn down to motivate me. It hurts me very much and I wish they would stop tearing me down and take a moment to look in the mirror. We are all flawed.

  84. Well, the truth hurts.
    My mother, up intil recently had not missed a day at the gym since I was born. 20 years and going strong. So needless to say, my family is in pretty good shape. Me? I work out 5 times a week, and take my supplements to look better.
    I have never been called fat. That’s cause I’ve never been fat I suppose, but I know the feeling. I’ve always had a small frame, so gaining muscle was always difficult for me. All the girls always thought I was supper skinny which sucked considering how much work I put into getting bigger.
    Different problem, yet the same complex.
    HOWEVER, I appreciate the criticism. Over the years the hard work has payed off, but I always do appreciate it when someone tells me I’ve lost muscle, or gained fat, or neglected to workout my legs so now I have toothpick legs.
    Criticism hurts, but it’s good to recieve it. If you’re fat, and know because someone told you, far from being offended you should be thankful. Thankful that someone cares enough to be honest with you. Get up and do something about it rather than crying at home.

  85. Being called fat can hurt you, when I was growing up my brothers wrote a song about me being fat and eating like a pig :(

  86. My boyfriend told me the other day that he thought I wasn’t as “in shape” as I used to be. He hesitated long enough to think of the words, that clearly he was thinking of a “nice” way to say I’ve gained weight. I am by no means fat, or skinny. I’ve always been pretty active and naturally athletic and muscular. But never thin. I’ve had pretty great confidence and self esteem. But the past couple boyfriends (and really good looking friends) have slowly made that harder. When my boyfriend told me that, I felt like it broke me. The one person in my life that I thought, thought of me beautiful no matter what…. well I don’t believe him now. I can’t believe him. I look in a mirror and see every single flaw, every extra pound. I can’t imagine how to be naked in front of him now. I love him and he’s the man I want to be with for the rest of my life, and he says the same about me. But clearly physical attraction is important to him. What if some day I’m in an accident and no longer am “pretty?” I could have a stroke, or get caught in a fire! What will he think when I’m pregnant? How can I trust that he won’t leave me someday for a prettier, more fit person? How do I get past this?!

  87. god, you know… I get it. I really f’in get that. and it sucks. the only thing worse than not having the support of your parents is not feeling the support you yourself.

    As someone who has been drastically overweight… health endangering overweight…. it is a day by day, month by month situation. It hurts. It’s always going to hurt but when you choose to ignore and focus on your progress could be the best day of your life. GO Nima. GOOOOO!!!!! GO out and do great things and feel wonderful about yourself because that is who you are. I really believe than.. Forget ignorance and just be in your success. You are not you because of your size. You are you because of your fight and power and strength. I’m not even bullshitting. I really, genuinely believe in your ability. And Cassey believes in you. She is so positve how can you even handle that?! You are you and you are beautiful. Please, please, please use your self awareness to make the world a better place. xx

  88. I am 27 years old , 5’8 and weigh 240 lbs. I been fat all my life. I don’t even eat in front of my dad because it grosses him out. My mom calls me fat everyday too. I was the only sister of 4 who was always overweight. My scheduling manager’s kid even called me fat. I heard him tell his mother that girl is so fat I fell in love with one guy and he broke up with me, I took it so hard because I truly feel like he was the only guy who would love a girl my size. There is no way I will ever have a gorgeous man who will be okay with my fat self. I wish I could say I starve myself but its too hard. I truly dislike myself. I feel like growing up I was seen as the ugly, dark-skinned, dumb and FAT sister. My other sisters are nurses and pharmacists and I guess my parents never really cared about my education, I remember them always saying I never study, and that what I am taking in university was a waste of time. I tried so hard, so hard to make them be proud of me too. Ran home everytime I did well on a test just to prove that I wasn’t dumb and smart as my sister and maybe they could talk about me to their friends. Anyway, I realized my parents didn’t really care for my education so I majored in whatever I wanted, til this day after graduation if you asked my folks what my major was they couldn’t tell you. Have no clue.

  89. I’m called fat alot. It hurts. Since 3rd grade my self-esteem has gone from high to none at all. I can forgive but I can’t forget. It really hurts. Some days I just come home and cry. I don’t think some people really think before they call you names. They just do it but either way it still hurts. I have lots of friends and I do well in school but emotionally I’m broken. Some days I don’t even want to go to school cuz I don’t know if someone’s going to call me fat or not. My brother even called me fat. One time he got mad at me and he told me to move out the way “with my fat self”. I’m just… Tired of it all. Even my best friend called me fat. She was like ur so fat and I know she didn’t mean it cuz she was laughing but it still hurts. Sometimes I can laugh it off but other times I walk away or go in the bathroom to cry.

  90. sparkle2290 says:

    my mom dad, sister all call me fat. my sister lost her charger and she blamed it on me i said “no i didnt! i didnt i didnt!” she said “YES U DO!” i asked “WHY WOULD I LOOSE IT?” she said “YOUR FAT! UR SO FAT” and i started crying soo much and i still am.
    like 1/2 a year ago when she was nicer to me i told her how much it hurts me when people call mee fat. i tell her i cry every time. i tell her i think of suicide way too much, i told her i even tried it once i told her i have cut. i have about twice but my sister finds out and says “WHY U CUTTING FATTY? IT WONT MAKE U SKINNIER” so i just scratch my legs really hard. im 12 and my sisters 16. she told me how she sometimes is called fat and doesnt like it but shes pretty skinny and i dont want to use anything she told me against her and i begged her just now if she could stop using it against me i was in tears asking and she said “GO AWAY U FAT SLUT” it seems like people arnt judged by their kindness or how they are on the inside….people are judgd if they are fat or skinny. if ur skinny ur perfect and if ur fat ur an ugly beast

  91. hurted girl says:

    Im called fat everyday and I Cry alot my sisters call me fat and my dad and people in the street and it hurts very much I was out from half an hour and then I was standing these 2 guys were talking about my size then I went home and I cant forget it :'( my sisters talk about my size infront of ppl and I feeeell embarressed and I want to cry till now

  92. I get called fat by my step brother step sister and 13 year old step sister she calls me stretch marks but it’s not my fault my grandmother used to feed me a lot when I was younger and she thought it was cute but now I cry. My steps even called me these things today and I also get called fat from some boys and girls but honestly I’m chubby not fat I don’t understand why the girls and boys pick on me when there is gigantic girls in my school unless they like me or want a reaction out of me so yeah here is my everyday life by the way I’m 12 years old

  93. It’s so weird… I was chubby when I was 8, and I was pretty fat when I was in my mid 20s. For some reason, I was NEVER bothered when people call me fat. I remember one of my good friend yelled out to me saying “Fat bxxxh!” (we call each other names like ahole so the b* word didn’t bother me, though nor the fat part). And a lot of friends during my fat period told me I have gotten so fat.

    I had a friend asked me “What the hell happened to you?? What did you do?? Gotten so dxmn fat!!”
    And my answer was ” *laughs* Lol, nothing! That’s probably why! Well most of the activities that I do is sit, and I work an office job.”

    Not sure why, I actually feel strange that so many people are bothered by it, but that I actually don’t. I didn’t care that I was fat, and I knew I was fat, but I was happy. People calling me fat was the same as people telling me I am a girl, telling me a fact, or people telling me hey your hair has gotten longer.

    I did lose a lot of weight later however, due to me wanting to present myself better.

    I think, lose weight for yourself if you feel bad about it, whether it’s because people bluntly tells you a fact, or it’s because of your health, or you feel that you don’t look good. If you feel healthy and happy about your image, it doesn’t matter what others say, someone telling you you have gotten bigger is no difference from someone saying your hair has grown longer, just tell them :”ya, I know. I am happy the way I am though.”

  94. anonymus says:

    I was called fat today by one of my friends. It bothered me because she did it with two people present during lunch time. I felt so embarrassed that i barely ate and on top of that she said that i didn’t eat because she had offended me. I just wished she would of pulled me to the side and told me.

  95. i haven’t eaten lunch in a month

  96. Valerie says:

    Nicole, I’ve just turned 14. I feel so fat too.
    I just can’t stop binging and I’m scared. I used to be so healthy but then I screwed everything up and now I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared about it all. I want to be healthy and skinnier and leaner, not binging everyday. I’m so scared.

  97. It hurts to be called fat no matter what age you are. I am 45 & overweight. When I was younger I used to be skinny. Yesterday, I was leaving work & a complete stranger approached me & called me a fat ass pig about 7 or 8 times, then called me a fat ass bitch, then told me that I had low intellegence, and said she knows all about “my kind”. I cried all the way home. When I got home my husband held me whole I cried & told me how beautiful I am, & he said he wished he wouldve been there. He prob wouldve killed her had he been there.

  98. For me I will never forgive I’m at a young age and I feel self conscience everyday. My mother often tells me to be on a diet and to stop eating or you won’t be able to fit in your shorts. I now every night look in the mirror and see fat I try to re assure myself by looking at other mirrors and see if I’m actually that fat. Everyone who commented here all feels or felt horrible pain and I bet most of you remember the comments and just cry or feel horrible. I hate people for being so rude to people and making others feel bad about themselves.

  99. I’m 13 and people called me fat. When i post pictures on facebook they always comment you’re fat and stuff and for them it’s a joke but it hurts me a lot.. What i do is pretending to laugh at it because if i take it seriously people will say i’m sensitive and they won’t understand me. i try losing weight but i cant. It hurts when you’re being called fat.. Like people are so judgemental. And all of us are different no one is the same with others. There are different types of person and not everyone will be skinny and some of them won’t get fat. And just because they’re skinny they’re going to call others fat? What if i’m pretty? Can i just call you ugly and it won’t hurt you? Think about it. Never call a girl fat even if you’re joking because we/girls take it seriously we became self-conscious and lose confidence. Because we want to look good. And some of us are not strong enough to ignore it all.

  100. This is probably hard to believe but I don’t think there’s been a day where I am not called fat. The word fat haunts me. I use to starve myself in primary school and now I am under weight and done with school. For some reason I am still being called fat even though its no longer there. It shouldn’t hurt anymore but it does. I see a fat girl everytime I look in the mirror but my t shirts extra small and too big for me. People ruined me. I hate this life.

  101. People like you are disgusting.

  102. I needed to hear this. It feels like I have no one to talk to about how utterly huge I am, even though my dad and mum are so supportive. It feels like they cannot grasp the situation entirely, even though my mum shares my thighs as well.
    I was sitting on a bus once and as I was getting off, two girls started sniggering and pointing at my thighs. I was humiliated, embarrassed and that night, I threw up my dinner and went to sleep. I exercise rigorously every day, I eat relatively healthy despite being a desserts blogger and still, my thighs do not lose weight, my hips widen and my stomach is not flat.
    It is nice to know I am not alone in what feels like a daily struggle with my weight. Why are humans so cruel and judgemental? Never, despite being judged myself, have I judged someone on looks or what they wear. Why would I? But it seems no one else seems to question that.
    I also have this friend, she can eat a family KFC meal all by herself without putting on a kilo. And she does. Often. Once we were walking together then she stops, looks at her reflection and starts complaining of how fat she is and I cannot help but say, look at me. She hides a smirk, I saw it, and then said ‘no you’re curvy’. What.
    No one, be they a teen like me or an adult, should have to go through this. Thank you for posting and sharing your experiences, it feels like I am not alone.

  103. Same here ;( .. I’ve tried exercising, practicing bullima nervousa, but still it doesn’t work .. recently I being humiliated by my own aunt by calling me fat in front of our relatives .. I was offended by her statement .. not only her, but people around me :(

  104. I’ve been called fat before actually twice and it hurt mostly at school and I know that it is not a lot of info but feel free to email me.

  105. I honestly feel what you feel.. Weeks before I graduated from sixth grade, one of my boy classmates poked me with a pen and I was just joking around saying, “I didnt feel that,” and then his friend comes and says “because you have blubber,” I didnt cry but I felt really bad because he was also skinny and also the person who poked me with a pen was. I would’ve cried but they would make fun of me anyways so don’t worry I feel ya and have a nice day you are beautiful! .x
    ~ Miksta ;)

  106. Everyday I would be called fat. It hurt me everyday of my life now for the past 3 years. I was in 3rd grade when people started calling me fat everyday from morning to night. At school people called me fat and everyday when i walked home with my brother from school he would always be the first one to get to the house and when i get back, he would say ” Wow why are you so fat and slow?” And it hurt my feelings A LOT and i had to deal with my brother’s “words of evil” when i see him after school. My birthday’s coming up in 2 days and i would litterally accept the gift of my brother stop calling me fat and bullying me for even just a day. It just hurts and my brother just keeps calling me fat. Even right now when i type this hes singing a random song and replacing the lyrics wih just the words You are fat. My 2 ” friends” at church sometimes call me fat too. I just am glad that there are people out there that had the same pain and experience as me and that I’m not the only one feeling the same pain and sadness. I really hope this will change when i go into highschool.

  107. I am 33 years old and I have been a big girl all my life. So ever since I was like 8 years old I was called fat by all the kids I went to school with. They would ask me why I was so fat. Come on I was a little girl. but as I got older things they said kept on intensifying. But I would never cry infront of anybody to let them it bothered me. I would always run to the bathroom or just wait until after school. But just the other day at work i was walking by somebody and they were right there in the way, so I said the right thing..excuse me, they did not move, so i said it again and they still didn’t move. So i told the guy to move…he didn’t move at all.. as i walk away he says, well maybe if you weren’t so fat you would beable to fit though. being called fat to me is like somebody telling you that you should kill yourself. IT FLAT OUT JUST HURTS..

  108. It real hurt when u called fat , ther is this guy i meet on fb him told me him love me and i love him too him ask me to come and see him , but am afrea to go becaus him call me fat all the time i dont if him see me if him will love me, but i love him am try to lose wight but it not working ,dose any one know wat will make me lose alot of wight so fast, apart from exsties, pls i need someone to tell some thing because am runing out of my mind, everybody call me fat

  109. Alondra says:

    Reading this entry really made me feel understood. I’ve been fat my whole life (except 9th, 10th, & 12th grade because I did cheerleading and volleyball). But I never got bullied for it. I was a happy girl, not necessarily popular but I’ve always been on okay terms with everyone. But its is true that when someone calls you fat you do forgive, but never forget. The first time I got called fat was in 7th grade. My bestfriend got mad at me, I don’t even remember why, and she yelled “FATASS, FATASS!” at me in front of the whole class. It seriously took all of my strength to hole in my tears. I was so upset about. She never apologized, but I forgave her.

    I was also called fat today.

    I have a youtube channel where I would post random videos. Some were videos where I’d answer questions from my instagram followers (I was celebrating my 10K followers). So everything was okay. I got a fair amount of views. But I hadn’t posted in two months and when I checked on my videos, I saw rude comments pointing out how fat I am and that I should lose weight.

    I was made fun of; cyberbullied.

    I cried for an hour in my bedroom. Then I went on my treadmill and worked out until I burned off 1000 calories. I know its unhealthy..

    The behavior those people displayed made me question the humanity of people. I mean, I’m only eighteen years old. Up until now, I had never worried so much about pleasing society. I just don’t know what to think about some people. Society criticizes, bullies people and then we wonder why anorexia, bulimia, self-harm, and suicide exist. It all fun and name calling until someone gets hurt. Then comes the overpowering guilt in bullies that causes them to say “oh why did she do it?” “she was so loved” “she was gorgeous” when they are the ones who pushed those people over the edge.

    Those people who bully others into self-harming and other problems ont care for a while and then they go back to bullying the next person. When will it end? How many more people have to die before they are heard? Calling someone fat is a form of bullying and it needs to end.

  110. And also I feel like I want him to die. He’s jus so rude.

  111. It’s so crazy I swear this is like exactly how I feel. Today in class a guy was talking to his friend and kept looking at me an I heard him say “that’s the kinda girl i need when I’m cold so her blubber can keep me warm.” And he also called me a whale. He’s also super skinny and so he probably thinks its alright to call other people fat too. It was soo disrespectful and rude. It hurt. I’m tired of being called fat. I have been overweight my whole life and I just can’t seem to lose the weight no matter how hard I try.

  112. Oh My Godd!!!! This post made me feel so much better after crying last night when this guy messaged me to say that I’ve gone fat!!
    I was at the gym and this guy that I started to ignore came up to me and I just walked away and then 10 minutes later he texts me saying “why have you gone fat? you look stressed up right and your face has gone all chubby and sh** and you are still acting up”- at this point I was running on the treadmill and when I saw this message, I got off as quickly and humanely possible and walked to the changing rooms and I was crying soooo much because it was a very vindictive and horrible thing to hear some guy say!
    I couldn’t sleep at night because I was thinking over and over again what he said to me and I was really upset because my bf laughed and said that it’s a silly thing to cry about! But for me its not!!!!! And I’m looking at the messages and just feel like crying!

    YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT!! The Emotional effect that this has on someone is bigger than anything because like you said it attacks our most “vulnerable self”!

    Some people in this world are so vindictive and just unpleasant

  113. I’ve been called fat all my life i’ve dealt with being over weight from the age of five because of medication other kids would always call me fat I can’t remember a day I wasn’t self conscious of my body I can’t remember a time I was actually happy and didn’t feel low about it right now i’m still fighting being over weight other people my age and younger are still calling me fat, ugly, stupid and other things like cow pig and other bigger animals i’ve even had a kid say I probably weighed about a thousand pounds it hurts badly but I try to ignore it but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

  114. *You’re

  115. Your perfect.

  116. I spoke about this issue on my video blog. Perhaps, you and your readers might want to listen to it. Thank you for speaking about this and raising this issue.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYN2ul-98dI

  117. i’m 18 years old and kids always call me fat when they see me walking on the street. it hurts so bad.. i don’t even know what to do anymore. i’m trying to lose weight but it’s not working. my body is so squishy, it’s not even the kind of fat that you can lose fast .. i hate myself, and i don’t want to hear anyone call me fat anymore..

  118. When I was 15 I went on holiday, there was this pub me and my family went to where you could play pool and just generally hang out. One night when me and my sister were at this pub playing pool these boys some younger than us and one about my age started making loud jokes about us being ‘pigs’ and being fat. I had to listen to their abuse whilst finishing the game of pool with my sister. When we quickly finished the game i left and sat at the table with my family and silently cried. I cried all that night and vowed to change my appearance. 9 months later and 3 stone lighter (i’m 120lbs), i am skinny and healthy but I still can’t help feeling fat- I scrutinize my appearance and weight every day. I don’t think i’ll ever forget how those boys made me feel and I’ll always worry about how I look because of them.

  119. looks like you got fatter

  120. Victoria says:

    A few weeks ago my school took doing pictures and we got te pictures back last week. I was very happy with my pictures. My math teacher was look at all the pictures and when she saw mine she said i looked beautiful. And that made me feel so good about my self because im feel so ugly because of my weight. Anyways once all the other students left she called me back to her desk and she said i looked very beautiful and I said that thank you. But then she said that if i were her daughter i would put you on a little diet. And after she said that i couldn’t understand what my feeling was. I was hurt and sad and angry. And I had to hold my tears back because i didn’t want my frieds to know what was happening. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. And when I got home i went strait to my bedroom jumped on my bed and i just bursted into tears. Ad it was the kind of crying where your face turn all red and you can’t breathe. I honestly have to say that was one of the worst days of my life. I felt so humiliated and ashamed. I know that im fat. I know that I need to lose weight. Hello?! I look in the mirror everyday! I just don’t need anyone, let alone my teacher, telling me that im fat

  121. Jeff Anderson says:

    I am not kidding one bit when I say this. I want to kill the person that called me fat, called like 30 other different people. P.s. he is as skinny as crap so he thinks its alright to call people fat. He is the biggest douch bag I’ve ever known and I want him to die. Horribly. Look I know I’d never actually kill him but still. I can only hope

  122. Kaitlin says:

    I absolutely love this comment. You go girl!

  123. I can relate to you so much. I’m 16, and overweight. Not SUPER heavy, but I got chunky arms and extra in the middle. I was made fun of in middle school, especially by boys. Even two of my best friends called me fat multple times. Some best friends huh?

    But I am telling you that once you get through puberty you’ll even out a bit. Continue with sports. The words will hurt, but eventually you’ll be in high school! I have not been made fun of once in high school. I actually was insecure and people told me I wasn’t fat. As you grow, the people around you mature with you. Unfortunately, middle school kids can be the cruelest, and most ignorant.

    Just know I feel your pain, because I’ve felt it. Just know it wil get better :)

  124. Reading this (and your post The Not So Glamorous Life) is so inspirational. You are so strong and beautiful Cassey! What you described going through your body image/feelings is exactly what i’m going through now and it’s nice to hear about someone else overcoming it. It gives me hope that I can overcome it too.
    Thank you so much. xoxo.

  125. Im 13, and ever since i was little i have been called fat. Its nothing like her story, its worse. Guys call me fat all the time, or they say i take steroids or call me a bulldozer. And i cant forget what they say, it repeats over and over in my head. Im very in to sports.

  126. Your story sounds somewhat similar to mine. I was also a chubby kid and was called fat by my first crush and so-called “friends” of mine. And like you I had never paid attention to my weight or thought there was anything wrong with the way I looked like until people made it a point to let me know there was something wrong with it.

    That’s the thing with “beauty”, it’s a social concept. What a world it would be if no one ever mentioned to others that there was something bad or funny about the way they looked. And if that “perfect” image wasn’t constantly bombarding people through media. You’re right in that people need to lose weight for the right reasons, there’s no doubt being overweight can pose health issues and that should be the focus, not looks.

    Thanks for sharing and being so honest about your personal experiences :)

    – Janice <3

  127. I can relate so much to this article. I have step cousins who aren’t even related to me , and I think I was about 14 and this girl said I had a fat ass. Up to that point in my childhood, I was so busy trying to be a good student and doing lots of sports at school, weight was hardly an issue. I’m an exact copy of my father who I haven’t seen in 15 years to this day- most of the family on that side are genetically heavier than on my mother’s side. This stepcousin was 11 and she was worried about weight O.O ! Now, looking back, I feel kind of sorry for her, but back then it would make me so upset. Lol, when I was 11, I was trying to take the Kent test so I could get a good mark and get into a girls’ grammar school, so that mum wouldn’t have to pay for my education during secondary school. Come to think of it, when I was young, I reckon I had my priorities straight.

    I think the pressure hit when I was ending secondary school and the first few years of university. Every holiday I used to come home, and there would be a passing comment about my weight. I am still sick of it to this day. Dunno why, but my older family members are always competing with me by comparing their weight on the scales to me. I’m an only child- I thought I was free from all the rivalry within the family! :O

    I think I had finished first year of university and I was finding it difficult to adjust to my course and the lifestyle there in many ways. Plus when you’re 19, emotionally you’re not the most stable person for anything. Anyways, our stepfamily come and visit us most summers, and I remember my mum told me that my stepcousins purposely slowed down the pace of their walking so they dropped behind me, to make scathing comments about how big my thighs were. I didn’t know if they had said anything about me, but that was my mum’s opinion.

    But this is what I realised, even though it hurts to hear that I have put on weight…. most people are going to say what they want and poke their nose in your business, no matter what. When you want to be on the treadmill running or doing whatever sport you like, remember you are doing it for yourself, to make yourself better and have more self-confidence. I also do taekwondo as long some gym when I feel up to it. Because sport is a good way of deviating boredom from an engineering degree! LOL.

    My stepdad always gives me good advice: that it’s important to be a nice person no matter what. Its hard to find nice people nowadays, if someone says mean things, it always stems from some insecurity about themselves. Let people say what they got to say, but your responsibility is to let it not affect you. It’s your journey alone to help you become stronger in the mind. Having a good life is about being strong and happy in the mind as well as going after all the things you want in your life (good career, nice house, etc..)

    Be the best you can be. Take people’s critiscism, turn it into something constructive to help you become as perfect as you can be. Every cloud has it’s silver lining. And smile ! :) life is lovely xxxxxxxx

  128. Also, yes. I’ve been called fat. Today, in fact. However, I’m a whole lot of awesome…and honestly? Her skinny little body and flat hair couldn’t hold all the awesomeness that I have. That’s what I did about it.

  129. I. Freaking. Love You.

  130. I’ve struggled with eating disorders for nearly a decade, and I gained a LOT of weight in one of my recovery attempts. It’s always been a sore point for me- I thought I was fat when I was 6 years old. Who needs to be worrying about that stuff that young? Even when I was sick and needed treatment for anorexia, my body image was bad enough that I cried every day about being the “fattest” one there.
    The other day a huge blowup happened with someone I thought was my friend. She’d taken me in while my family figured out what to do due to a lot of different work situations, but in her rampage of insults, “fat” got thrown in a LOT. She knows that “fat” is a four letter word to me, and that it’s more hurtful than anything else she could say.
    She also called a friend of hers that I’ve been talking to and have a budding relationship with and tried to tell him how disgusting and obese I am, and he will be grossed out by me.

    Needless to say, I’m devastated and hurt and so many other things. Reading this made me feel a lot better, though…just reading or hearing other people’s stories and knowing that not everyone thinks it’s okay to go around calling people fat helped calm me down.
    What’ll help even more…a good pilates session ;)

  131. I grew up in Malaysia, and we are not like people of the Western culture, who are very very careful about what they say when it comes to approaching a topic on someone’s weight. If you want to make a comment about someone’s weight in my family, you just say whatever’s on your mind. So when I was young and had bad eating habits, people within my family would constantly tell me that I needed to lose weight because they were finding it hard to buy clothes for me, or that I had chubby arms. People always pointed out that I gained weight at family gatherings: in public. It used to tear me up inside and every time I protested, they would argue back saying that they are my family and they could say whatever they want about my appearances and that this was just a part of our culture and that i was being over sensitive. As I grew up i realised that this is so wrong. NO matter where you come from, one should still think very carefully about what they say before they say it. You don’t know how much it will hurt. Anyway I went on to lose 8 kg and I am so proud of myself now. I love the way I look and i don’t compare myself to others anymore. My whole family is shocked and are actually asking me for advice on how to lose weight. So be happy and hang in there guys xx mwahs

  132. Wow Cassey, for some reason I just assumed that you had a perfect toned body your entire life. I never would have imagined this happened to you. This just makes me idolize you even more. I teared up while reading this because I had the same thing happen in my childhood. Stay strong!! You’re an inspiration to all of us!!

  133. hey Casey! I just wanna say you are beautiful and my inspirational!I have always had this ‘baby fat” but as i grew older it kinda grew more. I was bullied for 2 years by a guy. It was simply coz i wasn’t skinny and i was smart. But it still hurt. I am very self conscious and whenever i pass by people in the shops or whatever I feel that they are thinking to themselves, “Wow she is SOOO fat” I do wanna lose weight to get some confidence BUT also to look my best. I know i won’t be stick thin but i wanna look and feel my best you know? anyway i love your vids you are so amazing and i am lucky to have found you!

  134. aw Cassey, your videos are amazing and actually motivate me to get off the couch! I was away for a week and didn’t have internet access and i found that i missed your workouts that are exacerbated by your bubbly personality! I absolutely love how down to earth you are and moreover, how much dedication you show towards exercise and fellow popsters! keep up the good work and you’re an incredible inspiration to me.
    <3

  135. Cassey, i am a 14 year old girl that thinks like that everyday of her life. i feel as though i am never good enough and that i always have fat on my body and there is no way to get rid of it so i workout every single day of the week. if i dont, i automatically feel fat. i feel as though i gained some weight. this has been apart of me for years. ever since i was a little girl i have had the word “fat” in my mind. even if i see that lean toned figure in the mirror it is never good enough for me. i have tried and tried again to rid myself of these thoughts but it never seems to work. something happens, i eat something, my jeans fit weird, someone says something, and the list goes on. i am a very self concious person and i cannot help it. i have tried so hard to let it go, when i found you on the internet i thought immediately “wow she is so skinny and lean, i want to be just like her.” Cassey you are the biggest inspiration i have come across, you have touched my life in so many ways and each day i try harder and harder because you have sunk that into my brain. to never give up, to keep pushing yourself. i am so amazed by you and cassey i really hope you realize that you are so beautiful and you have a fantastic body (no lesbo) but cassey just know that you are the best and i ove you so much for everything yo have done. MEERRRRYYYY AALLLMOOST CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

  136. Oh, how many times i`ve been called fat…at the end on my first prom ever, every now and then througout high school and worst, for about a year or so when i was 10 or 11 and just began to gain weight due to puberty. I remember being so embarassed that i got used to always cross the street and avoid teens because i feared someone will start making fun of me….. I never really got used to it, i now lost some weight and i feel better. What now makes me feel better is the aknowledgement that WE are so much more than our body. We are not defined by our tums and legs and beauty of the outside will never really bring you happines, only for a little while. Now i want to take CARE about my body and worry more about my mind and heart, not about perfect legs. Worrying about my weight stole important years of my life and I refuse to let any more of my time be wasten on feeling bad because of this. :)

  137. I was never called fat. Never. But I was. I had a skinny, pretty face, but a bulging belly and a HORRIBLE body. I didn’t care about it, was lazy and ate every junk food I could, from Oreos to puffy Cheetos. Then, starting from 6th grade, I started worrying about my body image. I wanted to re-invent myself in time for secondary grade school. I wanted to look amazing. To be the girl that everyone wanted to be. So, slowly, with the help of my mum, I started jogging every day after school while walking my dog, I banished every single junk food from my diet and started eating healthily. I even discovered a new passion: dancing! I loved dancing, just for fun! (I especially adored Hip Hop :D). I became sporty, athletic, and my body change didn’t only affect me physically: It also affected me psychologically. I became more outgoing, more focused on my studies, and started morphing into a better person! I love you Cassey, you’re so awesome! The most bubbly fitness instructor ever! :)

  138. I would never ever ever ever ever call you fat, Cassey! Not bigger, not anything. I only comment it when people look better than before :)

  139. I know what it feels like I was called fat when I was little becuase I couldn’t do a cartwheel.=( It still hurts even though I believe I forgave the person. I’m still struggleing with weight and eating. I’m 5’1 and weigh 140 something.It is really bothering me about being fat I want so bad to be able to be 125 and fit into a size 8 or 6 jeans and dress size. I’m sick and tired of being fat that is why I’m doing Cassey’s workouts. I’m trying to stop snacking and over eating but I still can’t stop eating junk food!

  140. Hey Cassey! I’m really glad to read this story because like other girls, I was also a chubby tubby. I was taunted by my cousin who called me “fat pig” in Chinese and sang a song to it. It really hurt and growing up, I was on a mission to lose weight. In college, I didn’t go through the infamous Freshman 15, but I started working out and running with some friends once a week and started shedding pounds. I also have tried home fitness programs like P90X and Insanity, which gave me the results I dreamt of, but couldn’t keep it off unless I found the time to devote to being a size 2. I came across your videos on youtube because I am going for my MBA and needed something that didn’t cost so much as a gym membership (I know there are 10/month ones, but time is of the essence) and after seeing you and how happy you are, I am motivated and have been eating better. You’re like the Asian Jillian Michaels, who was also a chubby child, but a much peppier version of her. Keep up the good work and I think you look fantastic and really push us to do our best.

  141. I’m currently trying my absolute hardest to recover from my eating disorder. This story is exactly the way my eating disorder started and I teared up just reading this. Cassey is truly one of the only people who can make me feel okay with my body. It’s probably super bizarre and uncalled for seeing as I don’t even know her, but I love you Cassey. This girl is sincerely one of the most amazing people I can think of just because of the joy that she brings through her blogs and her workouts. She tries so hard to get everybody to be comfortable in their own skin without unhealthy extremes. Coming across her YouTube videos was one of the best things that ever happened to me <3

  142. You are beautiful and nothing close to fat! You are amazing <3

  143. 1m 14 i am chubby and all my friends are popular and no one ever said anythin exept for somone i knew from school today sent me a message i dont like you because your fat bit$h, thing is i used to weigh more, i use to cut myself i lost weight but now i feel like more than cutting myself

  144. It really hurts when the people u love most call u fat like family, friends or evn boyfriend. M tryn my best to lose weight now because my boyfriend used to tell me I need to lose weight. I hv starved myself, forced myself to throw up whenever I eat anything, done exercises nd hv taken diff pills. But stil I look at myself in the mirror everyday nd see a fat girl. Now he sees what am going through nd he says he is sorry nd never meant them. I forgive him but I can’t forget these words. These words come to my head whenever I look into the mirror. My body hurts everyday because of these exercises. M beginning to suffer from stomach ulcer. I am really fed up

  145. I’m 52 and can’t keep my weight down anymore. I work at a church & a homeless person we had been trying to help called me fat right to my face. That was bad enough but he keeps calling and asking to speak to the pastor & I keep hanging up on him. I’m afraid of losing my job if anyone finds out I’ve been doing this. It hurt so much – I already hate myself every minute of every day because of my appearance. There are days when I’m so sore from exercising I can hardly get out of bed & days when I’m so hungry my stomach hurts, and this person who doesn’t know me or know anything about me had the nerve to say that. I wish I were dead.

  146. I am so glad I found this page. I, too, am overweight. Have been since probably, 2nd grade, got worse around 8th grade. I don’t have an eating disorder, I just really hate myself sometimes because of my body. It has become my excuse for things. “Oh he doesn’t like me because I’m fat” or “She had more friends than me because I am fat”. I hate not being able to do things my friends can do. I am 18 years old. I don’t go to the beach. Haven’t been swimming since 7th grade. Prom dresses are limited to things that hide my stomach. Most outfits include shapewear or baggy sweatshirts. It’s an everyday thing for me.

    Recently I was called fat by an ex. I have been called fat by a guy I liked back in 2nd grade and then when I was 16 by a guy I was hanging out with. Those two times haven’t bothered me as much as most recently. I ALWAYS blamed my body for the reason I couldn’t get a bf, but then around the summer before Junior year, I started getting boyfriends. I thought “hey my body must not be that bad!”. I had self-confidence. I wasn’t as self-deprecating. But…
    Then one of my most recent exes called me fat. This has really gotten to me because it was the one thing I thought I overcame. It sucks having to be 18 and dealing with this and I know there are many other girls out there younger than me who are also feeling this stress and pain. I know from experience how much it hurts and wish other girls didn’t have to go through it like I did.

  147. Hey Cassey,

    It’s kinda nice to hear you say that. I’ve spent years being so self conscious about myself, and my family, even though they know how sensitive I am about food and weight and figures, will still tease me. My mum has never minced her words so I know what she thinks of my body. I just wish it’d all work. I’ve been through the overexercising, the ana, the mia, and now I’m back trying to do a combo of all three, but I can’t lose weight. I can’t even seem to tone up. Calories and exercise are what I spend most of my free time thinking about but it’s so frustrating watching what I eat, staying healthy, and exercising every day, and nothing happening. No girl should ever be called fat. Ever. Full stop.

  148. my mom calls me fat twice a day. when i was in high school thats when it started. homecoming would come around and id try on a dress and shed make a comment saying you look 9 months prego. for 4 years shed say stuff like that. back then i just brushed it off my shoulders. after i graduated she started saying more comment about me being fat im 21 now and it hurts so bad. im not that fat tho but when someone says it enough times it hurts

  149. I came across your blog today and I want to say thank you for posting it. I had a very rough experience today when I went into a store- I wont name it. They guy who was ringing me up started making fat jokes in a different language about me to another worker, not knowing I speak many languages and understood him perfectly. This hurt so much I went to my car and cried for an hour. The pain is so real and reading your post helps me realize I am not alone and I am still beautiful no matter what.

  150. omg it does. so i was with some frends and this kid says y do people think your fat (first off wht the actual fuck) so i was lyk who said tht bout me? long story i just wanted to get this off my chest and btw i kno its mean to call ppl fat but he is the fucking llivin definition of fat! i shudve said look whos talki it was just a shock to me i didnt kno wht to say but yah…im 5’3 and 125 lbs

  151. I feel Horrible. And still today. My dad said to my sace multiple times that i was fat and said sorry but it sticks in your head for your life. Even if you had lost weight. I dont know how to make it better. When iu was 3 i started eating to little when my mom died. Then i was getting to hungry and ate enogh but all junk. I go to a counselor but i am always insecure and asking my familey if this shirt makes me look fat.

  152. Cassey, I have the same problem.I will be entering 7th grade in the fall. I am 12 and i am a size 13. I am not all that insecure about my weight, but i do tend to get jealouse when i see really skinny girls that are really pretty. I know i am not ugly but I do get teased about being overweight. The thing is in school i have lots of friends. No one really talks about me because i am a nice person and everyone likes being around because it doesn’t matter what mood i’m in i am always nice to everyone i meet. But, it really hurts me when i see lots of skinny girs with boyfriends but i can’t get a boyfriend. I really just don’t know what to do.

  153. This is incredibly offensive. This is not a topic on obesity, it’s a topic on when someone weighs more or appears chubby than everyone else. You ARE still amazing regardless of what you look like. Your body does not define you. Athletic achievements do not make a person. There is so much more to a human being than physical success.

    I find it absurd and disgusting that you completely missed the point of this article- another person’s body is NOT your business, or yours to comment on. If someone is physically unwell, their doctor will tell them. It’s just goddamn rude to comment on someone’s physique.

  154. I’m sorry for the pain you’ve had to endure, but don’t you think it’s made you stronger eventually? Sorry, I’m all for trying to see the bright side of things.

    I’ve never been fat, so I don’t know what it’s actually like. I only know what it feels like to believe you’re fat, when you’re not. But for me, I sort of created a “fat” problem for myself so I didn’t have to do something about my actual problems (I don’t think I’m fat anymore, I don’t even freak out over water gains or holiday gains because I now know that it will disappear quickly again). I’ve always been underweight. I’ve been told I’m too skinny on several occasions, and while it might not seem like a problem for the heavier folks, it doesn’t make it less of a problem. I do gain weight, but I it doesn’t stay on very well. Not even the muscle.

    Being told by your school doctor that you’re too light and that if you lose even a pound she’ll see to that I get force fed hurts too. I don’t thing it’s wrong for her to say that I’m too skinny or whatever, because I am underweight, and she was pointing it out, though she could have done it in a nicer way.

    I guess it’s not actually about being “fat”, it’s about not being good enough, not living up to everyone else’s expections. Sorry for my ramble.

  155. Growing up in middle school and high school I was always a “chubby” girl. I had no idea about health, fitness, or how to treat my body. I ate fast food, drank soda, did no physical activity…that is basically all I knew. In high school I wore sweatshirts almost every day because I felt like it would hide what I was so insecure about and keep me from wearing anything anywhere near form fitting. It was so hard being referred to as fat by guys and other girls. One of the worst parts of my day at school was gym class, I couldn’t even run the mile in gym class. I felt horrible about myself and right after I graduated high school I decided enough was enough. I quit eating fast food, soda, and everything I knew at the time that was bad for me. I started going to the gym 5 days a week doing whatever I physically could to feel better. After almost 3 months I had barely lost any weight. How frustrating! You figure by then anyone would have given up. Right after the 3 month mark the weight just fell off. That was almost 4 years ago and since then I have learned so much more about nutrition, fitness, and living an overall healthy life. I am so much happier now and exercising and eating healthy are a daily part of my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way! All in all, I lost about 40 pounds and went from a size 12-14 to a size 4-6 and even sometimes a 2! I know size doesn’t matter, it matters how you feel about yourself, but I definitely feel better when a size small is too big or I have to go down to a size 2! I am so thankful for this passion for fitness and nutrition that has been growing throughout the last four years. I wouldn’t have it any other way! Thanks to Cassey for adding Pilates into my routine, I am loving it! xo

    Aimee

  156. like all the other popsters, i would like to thank you cassey, for your amazing post.

    i would also like to share my story about being called fat, and yes, it NEVER goes away.

    i come from a chinese family, and the fact that asian people are supposed to be small, lean, skinny did not apply to me. i have always been the bigger sister.

    i remember it all started at a family birthday party as well, i was 8 at the time, and my second older sister was wearing this pair of really nice blue mini shorts, and i was minding my own business eating away when my mom said ” you shouldnt eat so much, do you see how nice your sister’s figure is? do you not wanna be like that?”. yes i was 8.
    i remember wanting to burst into tears, but i didnt, instead i just put down my plate, even though i was still hungry and just sat there, sad and felt like i was screaming at the top of lungs, except no one could hear me. so, i started starving myself, for a short 5 days, and i couldnt take it anymore. as time went by, i stopped caring about what other people said, because i would use puberty as an excuse and keep telling myself that the fat will just go away as soon as im done with puberty.

    and it all began to change last year. my older sister moved out as she started uni. and as i live on the farm, everthing i usually do became doubled. i had to do extra work, and i started to take part in sports and i barely ate because i was loving the way my body started to change. i remember meeting my friend one day and she said “oh my gosh! turn around, so i did, and she was like” waht happend to your ass” and i was like “it’s there!. and she said “no! omg you look so hot in those shorts now!”..and my mom started telling me how pretty i looked without a double chin…so on.. but these comments didnt make me feel as good as i thought they would have. i was beautiful before, i still am now, now matter how i look. everyone is beautiful and no one should be judged by their weight. i have learned to love myself for who i am, although 0fcourse i do whine about my legs not being able to look like gisele bundchen’s ones.

    so i would like to thank you cassey, and all you popsters out there for letting me know that im not alone and that no one is perfect :)

  157. Thank you Cassey for a beautiful post again. And reading all you popsters comments and stories makes me feel good in that sense of not being alone.

    These are some experiences i had in life…..

    Being a kid….
    I used to be a somewhat skinny kid, or actually just normal sized.
    At gym-class one day when i was around 11 years a boy would ask me why my legs were so big. I had as you Cassey, never thought about it myself, i was happy just living a kids life until this day. I pretended not to be bothered by it, but it hurt me so much that i am suffering from it even today, though i have learned to cope with better nowadays. When i look at the pictures from this time though, i can’t see my legs were bigger than any others kids….

    mom issues….
    When i reached puberty i started gaining weight, and quite a lot. My mom would always feed us with just everything all the time, even if she didn’t eat herself. There were no limits of how much ice-cream, cookies, toasts, pizza, kebabs, cake you could have. Everything was about eating, but when it came to herself she wouldn’t. And i gained weight, a lot due to my puberty, and mostly my legs would grow bigger. I became quite much a sad kid, which got worse when i became a teenager. Today i know i suffered from a sort of depression until my twenties… And food became something comforting. My mom never said it directly but gave me hints of me being fat, but then she would feed me more.
    Everytime i would bring the topic up about loosing weight with my mom and that i would try a diet, she would always start aswell even though she didn’t need to. Until today when i have lost weight and she catches me standing on the scale she will quickly go standing on it herself ( i didn’t see her for a year now and the first day she came here now to visit for xmas, weight was the first thing she brought up and wanted to weigh herself and compare with me). If i have been happy about losing weight, she will have to stand on it herself so she can tell me she weighs less than me.

    strangers….
    When i was about 14-15 i remember being at a cafe with my best friends, this cafe which was “in” and the hip people would go to at that time, we were having a good time laughing, being all girly and i was feeling all good about myself when the manager of the cafe, a guy, would come up behind me and ask me why i looked the way i look, why i was so fat compared to my friends. Just going on about me being ugly. Fool me i tried to laugh it away, but i could feel from the inside how my tears just wanted to burst out. My friend did however defend me (which was very nice), but the whole situation just made me feel so humiliated. When i look back at pictures from this time, sure i was chubby i’m not going to deny this, but not THAT fat. What kind of adult, the manager of a cafe, walks up to his customer which is a teenage girl and goes on about how ugly she is??

    There are some more incidents, me moving to south east asia wasn’t very easy either. At this time i was quite at an average size for a european girl, but far from in the asian… People “loved” me because i was white and wanted to take me out and be my friend, though i after a while noticed they were never actually interested in me but having me as a show off (at this time when i moved here you were lucky if you saw 10 other white people in a month so….). All these people i would just ignore completely after a while though. During this time i would hear a lot of comments as “don’t you ever think of what you are eating”, “you are quite big” and so on…. I knew i was at a quite normal shape but this would make me even more concerned about my body. I had old aunties telling me i was fat. The thing was that i was just not fit.

    Anyway, my goal is to reach somewhat 55kg, atleast stay below the 60kg mark and with Cassey i have managed to get below 60kg, and it’s not all about the weight, i have become stronger! Not just physically but also mentally even though i still have somewhat to heal from….

    However, i’m still standing infront of that mirror. i don’t always trust what i see, i don’t always trust pictures of myself. It feel like i’m never too sure, because times when i have felt good about myself people has told me the other way around… These kind of things can disturb people for many years onwards. Why can’t people help instead of calling people fat or just say nothing at all especially of you don’t even know the person… some people can’t even help that they are overweight because of medicines and medical conditions….

    And kids can be cruel, but from who does it come from? Adults, media….

    This got a bit longer than i expected it to be…. but thank you all for telling your stories and experiences, thank you Cassey for bringing these kind of topics up. It helps, atleast to know that i’m not alone….

  158. <3

  159. Take care Sarah. You’re doing great! Do you know how much dedication it takes to lose 30 pounds?? Your size cannot show your strength, your size is not your dedication. You are SARAH and SARAH has the will power to keep going =) *hugs*

  160. I know excatly how that feels, I have lived with it all my life I usually just brush it off and pay no attention to it.but recently my half brother who is 11 decided to tell me I was fat and probably why i didn’t have a boyfriend……it hurt so much I kinda lashed out and told him the same but i just started working out with my bestfriend and it’s hard i’ll give you that but I know it will be all worth it in the end

  161. Thank you for sharing this story. I really related to it. Like you I was pretty chubby pre-puberty. People called me fat and ugly. It hurts! At that age our self-esteem is just forming and it is fragile. I used to cry about it and to this day I still find myself overly conscious of the areas people criticized when I was only 11 or 12.
    As I grew up I re-proportioned. The weight changed from a little inner tube around my waist into boobs and hips. I still don’t have a perfectly flat stomach and my thighs touch. I’d love to lose a few pounds but I am at a healthy weight so I refuse to let that define me. After all of those people called me fat and ugly, today men stop me in the mall to ask if I have a boyfriend. I eat cookies, make friends, go to school, laugh, and work out for myself not anyone else. Of course hurtful comments still affect my self-esteem but I have come to accept who I am. I will never be the tiniest girl and I am learning to live with that because people still find me beautiful for who I am. Hearing those mean things have only made me stronger and more compassionate to others.

  162. Tisha Elsayed says:

    Oh Katlyn, I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that (((hugs)))…I’m glad you’re feeling better about yourself…I had a group of “friends” turn on me in the middle school, and they tried to hurt me every day by saying mean things about me, but I just kept working out harder and tried to do positive things that made me happy, and God put some really good friends into my life who’ve helped me a lot, so I just want to encourage you too, Girl!! Try not to let other people get you down b/c in the end what they think doesn’t matter at all!!

  163. I’ll just start out by saying I love your blog cassey! I’m a freshman, in high school that is… (I know, I’m a young’un) but I find that you’re a great role model.. You’re healthy and try to stay healthy, but you have your share of insecurities that make you all the more relatable(:
    Putting that aside..
    I’m 114 pounds at 5’2. That’s not fat. But my mom is 90 something pounds and my dad is an avid runner, while my ten year old sister has a six pack. So basically I’m the fat one. And my best friend is under 100 pounds at 5’4. I’m in Korea right now and it’s so hard! People are so skinny! The celebrities that are role models for the kids here have like 22 inch waists! People don’t call me fat often but I can feel them thinking it. I think it’s just my insecurity. I HATE it when my sister calls ne fat… Or mentions how her friend is chubby….like me. It bugs me so much. So I guess my worse fear is somebody will call me fat in the future.

  164. I remember I was called fat by my little brother. I was in 4th grade and I didn’t have my shirt on because I was calling out to my mom to help me find something so I could go to my friend’s house. I forgot why but my brother got mad at me and said “Sharon doesn’t want to see your fat belly anyway!” And I got so mad that I slapped him and forced him to apologize. I remember feeling so conscious for that moment but it quickly went away.
    I think the only person who calls me fat right now is myself. Weight is all I worry about. For 3 days I’ve had an upset stomach and I know its because I wasn’t eating enough. Even now I hate to admit it. Even though I’ve lost many pounds, I can’t feel satisfied or accept the weight lose because I know it was because of health issues, and pain. I’m recovering right now and plan to make changes as soon as I can. I can’t wait to do your videos again, I’ve gotten so weak ;3;

  165. Great post Cassey! It just goes to show us we’re not alone. We’re all battling past demons to keep in shape and stay positive. I gained a lot of weight after I moved out of home and worked in a pub part-time during college and you can imagine the lack of restraint drunk people show. I remember one time a couple of fellas having an argument and one of them saying ‘Its not over til the fat lady sings, hey give us a song Caroline’, thinking they were the height of witty commentry. Well it was mortifying but it didn’t make me lose weight either.
    I started losing weight when I became happy and content with me. I’ve maintained a healthy weight now for 6 years even after having 2 daughters and now am very mindful about how I portray myself in their company. I’ll never say I’m not happy with my body in front of them.
    Earlier this year I gained a bit of weight and luckily for me I discovered you Cassey, you were the catalyst I needed to get me back on track. I feel fantastic again. And whats more my little girls do your videos with me, (except for burpees when they say lets watch mummy!). Its such a great feeling.
    Cassey, you are absolutely gorgeous, and if anyone calls you fat they haven’t got eyes!!

  166. I remember being a Junior in high school and my boyfriend and I were having a conversation which led to some stinging words forever etched in my memory. He was talking to some other guy (you know how competitive guys can be at times), and the other guy said, “Well, at least my girlfriend isn’t as heavy as yours!” Now why the heck did he tell me that?!?! So I asked him, “What did you say to him?” And he said, “Nothing.” No wonder I broke up with him some months later. Mind you, I was 5’7″ and 135. Not exactly heavy, but it was a little heavy for me with my small frame size. Still, not exactly as big as he made me seem. I was hurt. I was mad. And I vowed that I would wow ‘em all in 20 years when he was a “former” athlete that probably never stayed in shape. I did go on to dropping about 20 lbs. my Senior year and was sleek and svelte, but I have NEVER forgotten that comment.

    Well, here I am 28 years later with four kids and a great figure and very fit. Instead of hurting words, after a while I used them as motivating words as in, “I’ll show ‘em someday!” That someday is here, I don’t care where that ex-boyfriend is along with his friend, but I’m looking mighty fine. Yeah, I got my payback :) .

  167. I understand. When I was about 8, I had to do a fashion show at my church to raise money for a charity of some description. I don’t remember much about why we were doing it, only that I was excited to wear pretty clothes. Just before I was about to go onto the ‘catwalk’ with this other girl, she turned to me, poked me in the stomach and said, “Your stomach is sticking out.” I was humiliated. I stood as straight as I could and sucked it in as far as I could, but it was no use. I was a slim enough kid, I just had a frog belly. That has really stuck with me. That was 13 years ago, and my stomach is still the part of me that I loathe the most.

    I can’t tell you how many crunches and other ab exercises I have done in the attempt to flatten it out. On the up side, I have abs of steel. On the down side, they are still firmly encased in a layer of flabbiness. I’m still not a big girl, and other than that I’m really quite happy with how I am. Still, some days I feel I would trade an arm to have a flat stomach. Or to go back in time and punch that girl in the nose before she said anything to me.

    Ah well. I guess if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have exercised quite like the maniac I have, and I don’t think I’d be as strong as I am now. There’s a silver lining to every cloud.

  168. It seems every single person commenting on this topic, instead of hearing the truth, would rather have their friends sugarcoat it for them. Well, ignoring the problem does not solve it. I mean, if you are normal or around normal, why do you care about being called fat? But if it is true, instead of taking offense, take some action.

    “You are still amazing, regardless of what you look like”… with an attitude like that, no wonder so many Americans are obese. Amazing is a person who takes care of themselves despite obstacles, like paralympic athletes. But a couch potato who stuffs himself / herself in front of the TV instead of exercising, for no other excuse than laziness, is NOT amazing, no matter how much they would like to think so.

  169. Cassey, I just want to say that I stumbled across your videos a couple weeks ago and one of the reasons why I love them so much, is because you have a body type that is exactly what healthy looks like. You don’t have crazy bulging muscles or boobs, you have the kind of body that anyone can attain and I dig that.

    I’ve never been called fat, but I’ve encountered a lot of discrimination for being thin. I’m 30 years old, 5″2 and recently gained 5lbs, making me 105lbs. People have openly assumed that I have an eating disorder (which is a huge insult to anyone who actually struggles with the disease), when I happen to not want to have a huge lunch, I get ‘looks’. Just because I am naturally thin, doesn’t mean comments about my body don’t hurt. I would never go up to someone who was very overweight and remark on how many rolls they have on their arms, but nobody bats an eye when someone remarks they can see my shoulder blades through my shirt. It’s the same thing, on both sides of the scale. I am tired of being looked at as weak and feeling unsubstantial – I personally think women should be soft and curvy and not bony like myself, but I can’t help it, I can only get stronger. Even if it’s just to deck the next person that makes a snide comment :)

  170. So glad you posted this. I went through the same thing as a kid. Looking back, I think I used food as comfort after my parents divorced (in an unstable situation like that, food seems like a constant; I guess that’s why we turn to it for emotional eating sometimes). I remember a young cousin telling me I had a fat belly, and a guy at school telling me to “move, fat girl”. You’re right- it hurts, and it sticks with you. I’ve been body conscious almost my entire life, and I didn’t get that natural slim down as I got older. Luckily, I realized the damage I was doing to myself and started to slooowly make things better. I weigh 100 lbs less than I did in the 9th grade (I’m 20 now, and went from 235 to 135! :)) Anyways, not trying to go on & on here, just wanted to say thanks for posting and being so positive and encouraging. I want you to know that YOU and your awesome attitude are what gave me the final push to really get down to business and get in shape! I love that you’re focused on being healthy and fit- not necessarily “skinny”. I’m just a beginner with pilates but I l-o-v-e it SO much and I want to be a bigger part of this awesome community you guys have! I know it might sound a little cheesy, but I feel like you’ve had a big impact on my life, and I can’t thank you enough for that! :)

  171. Amen to that! Joan, you are so down to earth and I like you a lot:) And hahah trolls:)

  172. I want to start by saying that I hate the word “fat.” It literally makes me cringe. I have never and will never describe anyone (or myself) as such. There will always be a more positive adjective.

    When I was in high school, I was in the best shape of my life. I was in marching band all four years, and I was lifting weights in a girl’s conditioning class my Sophomore-Senior years. I’m 5’7″ and was 150lbs of muscle.

    After I graduated and went to college, I never thought about my physical activity coming to a dead stop. My eating habits stayed the same while I fell into a sedentary lifestyle. I gradually began to put on weight. By the end of my first semester I had put on 25lbs. It wasn’t until my mom commented on how ill-fitting my clothes had become, that I really saw what had happened to my body. So I put my mind to it and was able to lose 15lbs after Christmas.

    Despite my hard work, my step-mother constantly pointed out my flaws. She is no longer a part of my life, and I now realize that the only way she was ever able to feel better about herself was to make other people feel bad. For several years I struggled with my weight and depression.

    But now I’m planning my wedding to the most amazing man in the world. He makes me feel beautiful and loved for the first time in years. I’ve resolved to lose what weight I can before our wedding and get back into shape. I’ve learned how to dress the body I have, not the body I want, and that alone makes me feel fantastic. I’m turning my life around and will never let other people make me feel badly about myself again.

    Whether we’re tall or short, thick or thin, we are all beautiful. Anyone who can’t see that has no concept of true beauty. Love yourself and others will follow.

  173. Kajsa you are amazing and so smart young woman! I am so proud and I wish more young people would start living healthy life. You are the star**and I love you, remember that<3

  174. Hi.
    This is the first time I read your blog. This post is the truth and sad.

    I completely understand you. I’ve been called fat all my life. Even though I was never that fat. My brothers always called me fat since I was a child because I was the biggest one. That little thing became an big issue to me. Now, 25 years later, I still see myself fat every time I see me in the mirror. I also put videos on Internet and I’m always concern about those comments of being fat.

    I lose weight, but I still see me fat. Never had a eating disorder. But it doesn’t matter how old you are or who tells you that….it always hurts and you always have that insecurity.

    It’s sad that many times those “bad habits” starts in your own family.

    thanks for the post. It’s good to know I’m not the only one
    B.

  175. Sarah Haege says:

    I’m actually sitting here sobbing.
    It’s been a hard week. I’ve lost 30 pounds over the past three months and I’m absolutely horrified of gaining weight. I’ve been binge eating the past couple of days and I’m just not feeling too good about myself. I’ve always been the fat girl. Always. Even now that I’m 102 pounds (probably more, I’m avoiding the scale), I’ll always have a larger frame. I’ll never be a waif, I’ll never have a thigh gap, I don’t appear to be the weight that I am. A girl this morning told me that I was fat and it really hurt. I came home and ate a good 1000 calories. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I don’t know how much weight I have to lose until it’ll be enough, or when I’ll stop being afraid of gaining weight.

  176. ps. i will also take out fat out of my vocab. thats a great new years res! thank yoU!

  177. Wow, thanks for being so candid, and I didn’t know even you have a fear of people calling you fat on Youtube. People can definitely be harsh since were pretty much anonymous online but there’s soo much more positive into doing this more than negative. You already kno that since you’ve been doing it 3 going on 4 years. For me I was a bit disappointed at my “Youtube friend” because he would give me very rude comments directly on my videos, and he would be the only one commenting so it looks pretty bad on my channel since he’s the only one commenting. Seeing negative comments really suck and I kind of took it personally, but I realized people only do that because of their own egos and insecurities. it’s like i just want to say “AUGH, you suck! why are you so rude to me, i didn’t do anything” feeling, but I realize I would be the stronger person to just take it and be resilient from it. Yeah! those are my thoughts, but thanks again for your candid posts. you’re so real!

  178. I can’t remember a time in my life where I wasn’t called fat- that is until recently, of course. Growing up, boys made cracks about my weight all the time. As I entered my teen years, I was even the butt of jokes in family gatherings. Being called fat doesn’t only hurt your feelings- at one point, you get so sick and tired of the taunting, that you become immune to it- and that’s HORRIBLE, because you end up not CARING that you’re fat! Being called fat destroys your self-worth. You end up believing every cruel word that people throw your way.

    I would never call a person fat, not even jokingly because I know how much it hurts. I do always encourage the people I love to be healthy and fit, but I learned to do it in a way that could minimize hurting their feelings as much as possible. I know what it’s like to hate myself because someone decided that they’d feel better about themselves by making me feel worse.

    I’ve learned that the secret to weight loss is being in love with your self, your body. Everyone is beautiful, everyone. :)

  179. True, this has been my experience rather than the other.

  180. Becky Hepinstall says:

    I was a chubby kid growing up. I didn’t realize it until second grade, when someone commented on it. Then the self-consciousness set in. I wasn’t unhealthy, I was very active. I was just chubby. And since I was one of the overall biggest kids in grade school (second tallest, if you can believe it, but I only made it to 5’4″) I certainly made the other kids look tiny. I’ll never forget being called “Becky the cow” and being told “jeez, your legs are huge” just because I wasn’t a twig. Kids are honest, kids are mean. But they’ll always find something to pick on. When I was in junior high I developed Crohn’s Disease, and had lost over 50 lbs before they figured out what was wrong with me. After that my weight would yo-yo depending on when I was in a flare, and when I was on medication. So then I got all kinds of comments. I was still self conscious, but I also knew that I was sick and had better things to worry about. I learned to laugh at the stupid things people would say. Cari would report to me with the latest rumors and we’d have a good time laughing at how stupid people can be (one person said that I’d lost 150 lbs – when I hadn’t even weighed that much to begin with, another said that I’d gone into cardiac arrest and had to be “manually resuscitated”…twice). But I never forgot. I doubt I ever will.

    Thank you, Cassey, for this post :-)

  181. its sad, but my mom calls me fat for quite some time now. even though ive lost about 10 kg, she would not see that and keeps telling me that im fat like an elephant. she never encourages me and admits that ive lost weight. NEVER..but i learned to live with it since discussions would only lead to tears. the saddest part is that im not even that “fat”. i have normal weight for european standards (M)but she compares me to the skinny average figure of asian girls. no one else around me would even think of calling me fat…

  182. Wonderful, honest post. Love ya, Cassey. *hugs*

  183. If you are happy with the way you are (no matter what size or shape), then it’s not a problem. But (and I think this is where Cassey and a lot of the other commenters are coming from), if someone makes an observation about your body size or shape and they say it in a mean, rude, or judgmental way, then it hurts. Or if you work hard so that you don’t look fat (as in Cassey’s case), or like “a starved child” (as one of my friends so kindly called me), then it hurts and it sticks with you.

    I’ve had both experiences. I gained weight in grade school after a leg injury that had me in casts and crutches for months. My sister called me fat ONE TIME, my mother was quick to shush her, but it stuck. Then a friend told me that my shirt “would look better on me if I lost 10 pounds”. Ouch. It served as a wake-up call, and I finally got to the weight that I wanted to be at by working out. Several years later, I was diagnosed with a serious GI illness… and I was automatically accused of having an eating disorder, and of looking like “a starving child from Africa” by a former friend of mine because I was vomiting all of the time and couldn’t keep food down and I lost some weight.

    Nobody said I was a bad person in either of these cases. But the way they said it made me feel like I had to defend myself, like I did something wrong even though I was trying my best to be happy in as healthy of a way as possible. And that’s what’s wrong.

  184. I’ve had a lot of experience getting called fat in my lifetime. From the time I was extremely young, I’ve been bullied. The fat comments didn’t come until 5th grade (that I can remember, but I have blocked a lot of my memories out). In 4th grade I moved into a new neighborhood (not far from my old one, not even far enough to change schools). I don’t remember if there were any conflicts on the bus or in this new neighborhood during the end of 4th grade, but I remember in 5th grade, I was now in the same class as one of the boys in this new neighborhood. His name was Val, and he hated me. Every day of 5th grade, he and his friends called me fat, they changed my name from Katlyn, to Fatlyn, they even made up a rhyme to go with my name: “Katlyn, Fatlyn, 2 by 4, can’t get through her kitchen door.” It killed me, I would cry almost every day of 5th grade. I have never been overweight, but I’m big boned and I have a bit of excess flub on me, I didn’t really care until I started getting bullied like that. No one even stopped it either, I told my parents, they said to ignore it, I told my 5th grade teacher, she told me “Maybe God made you fat” and did nothing else to stop the daily torture. I couldn’t escape. Even in middle school, he continued to harass me with these names until I convinced my mom to let me get out of that school.

    To the best of my recollection, I have not been bullied about my weight like that since then, but I could just be blocking it out. It hurts me every day to think about those things that were said to me, and the many many other things that others have said. I’ve been bullied so many times, through the computer, in person, I’ve received death threats, so many girls and boys who just wanted me to hate myself. It worked, for a long time. I’m only 16 years old but I’ve experienced more hatred and harassment than most people in their entire lives. I’ll never understand why though. I’ve struggled with self-hatred for a long time, haven’t been the smartest in my decisions on how to lose weight, but I’m trying to do it right this time. I’m healthy, like I always have been, but now I’m going to become healthy, and thin. Even with the way I am now, I’m happy, I’ve learned how to ignore (and block) the people who are trying to hurt me. For the rest of my life, I want to help others who went through things similar to me so they can always make smart decisions and not have to completely go through what I went through. :]

  185. This really touched me. I remember in 2008 I moved back to live overseas after i had lived in the US for about 11 years. when i got to the family gathering, the first things one of my aunts told me was “why have you gotten so fat?” i remember freezing up and not responding, but i cried so much that night. about a week later, i saw my cousin, and shes skinny. like twig skinny, and i remember her dad telling me “why cant you be thin like your cousin?” i never did anything about my weight till i moved back to america in june 2010. at the beginning of 2011, i officially started dieting and eating healthier. and you know? when i did it, i never once thought of their ugly comments. i never once thought of how they’d talk about me losing weight. i just did it, and i felt soooo much better about myself. and i’ve lost weight and leaned out, and now i feel so much better about myself. i admit sometimes i do get discouraged when i dont get the results i want and i binge,but then i ask myself: do you really wanna do this? you worked so hard. you put all that effort. do you really wanna go back? and the answer is always no. i’m happy now,i’m healthier, and i’m more confident. i sent pictures of myself to my family overseas and they didn’t believe that this was me. like literally, they did not believe their eyes :p. and that felt so good! it felt good to show people that i CAN do what they think i can’t. just because your overweight, doesnt mean you’ll always be like that. the change is in YOUR hands. go for it.
    and my twig thin cousin? the one whos body i dreamed of having? well, after seeing my pictures, she said she’d love to look like me ;)

  186. I have never been called fat to my face I do remember being in middle school and, being the perfectionist that I already was, found myself comparing my body to my much leaner friends. It seemed unfair to me that I had to worry about it at such a young age. I remember looking at pictures from that time and literally being disgusted at what I saw, but I just did not know what to do about it.

    During my high school years, I developed anorexia and exercise bulemia. I swam year-round, and I became addicted to perfectionism. In looks, in achievements, in sports. I ended up going to therapy for over 2 years, but I still struggle with eating habits to this day. I am almost 21 years old. I am still obsessed with fitness and being thin. It’s something I hate about myself (my nit-picking). If anyone is calling me fat, it is myself.

    I am currently studying to be a psychologist so that I can help others avoid the pain that I have been through in my life. I think it is more hurtful to be critical of yourself than having others be critical of you. While it definitely hurts, loving yourself is the first step of self-improvement. It is impossible to be truly successful in life if you cannot love yourself for what you are.

    Thank you so much for sharing. I think it is so important for people to talk about these sorts of things because it is the first step in reinventing the wheel when it comes to self-criticism and fitness. People should be concentrated on being fit, not on what others think of them. Talking about it is the first step in making this possible!

  187. I have never been called fat but after I had my twins I worked my butt off to get back into my prebaby weight, then one day someone asked me if I was pregnant again! Then it happened again.. and again.. this really started to just sit on my head.. all my hard work wasn’t paying off.. Posture check? I don’t know? but it still bugs me if I get asked that.

  188. ‎Cassey, wonderful post. Thank you for sharing.

    I want to address the “you know that every time I put up a new video, I have this fear that one of the commenters will say “looks like you got fatter”?” for a bit. THIS WILL HAPPEN, Cassey, and not because you but because YouTube, as wonderful as it can be, it’s also flooded with trolls (who nerdfighters like to call “giant squids of anger” xD). If it’s not about this, it’ll be about something else.

    Those comments are clearly not coming from a good place. They want a reaction. Remember to take them for what they are: garbage. I know it’s easier said than done, especially when you have gone through it before, but you have shown incredible focus and determination before, and I fully believe we can productively manage our emotions. It takes the same kind of focus and determination. You already have the tools. I’m quite stubborn and, do to things that have happen in my life, I consider myself mentally and emotionally strong. I take pride on that. I think it defines me. I’m not invulnerable, but I’m resilient. And that’s the key. Good luck to whoever thinks they can take that away from us.

  189. I love that you shared your story, thank you! My “fat” story is a bit more recent. My struggle with my weight and body image began after I had my first baby. You would think that after having a baby people would be a little more forgiving with their judgement, but they weren’t. What’s worst is that the comments came from my own family. I was so furious, hurt and really just confused. Why were they so harsh? I JUST HAD A BABY! The comments about my size didn’t get much nicer as time went by and I didn’t seem to be losing the weight. After I had my second baby about 2 years later, the fat comments just kept coming. Although so many negative things have been said, I’m not letting it get to me. I’m just using it as fuel to just keep going. People just have “diarehha of the mouth” and you just have to ignore it. When I look in the mirror, see my “fat” and feel like it’s hopeless and that I should just give up….I just think back to when my mom called me fat and I use that to get re-motivated.

    People just need to accept you for who you are. And yes, I refuse to use the word “FAT”….it’s not a word to be used to describe a person.

  190. Wow! Thank you for that..it really means a lot and is really encouraging to know that even you that has an amazing figure feels insecure about herself.
    Growing up I was always on the chubbier side and I can definitely relate to your fear of being called fat or told you have gained weight.

    The important thing is that you are such a good example how you can take control of your life and your body. You stay active and have fun with it too and you show us how to as well.

    I love your videos. Their challenging and always a lot of fun. Please keep up the good work.

  191. Maria del Mar says:

    All my life i’ve been called fat. People said my hips were to big, I had a big fat belly and a giant fat ass. I alway tried to wear big clothes so that my fat ass would look smaller. Actually, before people starting saying I was fat, I used to like my body. I felt curvy and beautiful, but as it turns out people didn’t thought the same about me. When I turned 10 my crush starting calling me fat. Every single day. My causins always said: are you going to eat that… you knw how many calories that has …etc.

    That summer I decided I was tired of being called fat and I started exercising countless ours a day and reduced my calorie intake to nearly 500 calories a day. I lost 10 kg (aprox 20 lbs) in a month. I still though I was fat, though my friend started calling me anorexic.

    I struggled with eating disorders for a couple more months until my doctor told me that if I lost one more kg I would have to be send to a hospital. Those kinds of hospitals where anorexic people are treated. I’ve seen those in tv and they dont look nice.
    I had to go to the therapist a nothing helped. I thought my crush was going to like me once I was skinny, but he didn’t like me.

    My friends even made songs about how skinny I was getting. However, I still though I was fat.

    Its been 3 years since that and my period hasnt come back. (I used to have it when I was 10). I hav gained 9 kg. But know when I look in the mirror I see a toned body, not a fat one.

  192. Hey Cassey –

    Thank you SO much for this post. I’ve already gone into a lot of detail on my own blog about being overweight, so I won’t get into that again here, but I did want to say thank you for admitting your fears regarding others judging you.

    I’m a personal trainer and Zumba instructor, and so I can really relate to you on that. Admittedly, I’m also a type-A perfectionist who holds myself to impossibly high standards, but I think that being in a profession where we are supposed to exemplify the way that those we train and teach want to look (and knowing that they are going to be looking at our bodies for inspiration) it makes it that much harder.

    I, too, have put on a few pounds recently – I’m still juggling a full-time 9-5 (which I have to stick with for awhile unfortunately), along with training clients from 5-8 am every day, and then teaching class a few nights a week, so getting my own workouts have suffered as a result from the stress, exhaustion and busyness. I’m sure I’ll get it under control eventually, but I’m just feeling rather stressed and “blah” at the moment. But as a result I worry constantly that a client or someone in my class is going to notice a “roll” or something or think “What the hell is she doing training me? She could stand to lose a few.” Luckily this has only happened in my head, I would probably die if someone actually said that to me.

    So thank you for admitting that you feel that way, too. It’s such a relief to hear from you specifically, because honestly, every time I see a video of you, I think to myself, “God, I just wish I were that lean. She’s so committed.” So there you go – I think most people probably do that, thinking that everyone else looks better than them.

    Thanks for talking about this. It’s something that those of us in the fitness community especially need to talk about sometimes. We’re only human.

    Happy Holidays!

  193. Ive been called fat before and it wasn’t just once. By the age of 10 I had already been told that i needed to take care of myself because i wasn’t eating right nor was i fit. I always had low-self esteem because of my physical appearance and to be honest even today i still struggle with it. I am currently 17 now; It wasn’t till a few months ago this year that i decided to make a serious change with myself. I’ve lost a lot of weight since i started making these small healthy decisions. I also started to exercise daily.

    Not long ago I was with a friend and he called me fat. I’m not a huge person; I’m pretty average but I felt completely shattered on the inside because i thought “This can’t be happening, I’ve been working my butt off and eating right just to be called fat…again?” I don’t know but he might of been kidding but that just wasn’t a joke to me. It made me feel as if I’m not doing good enough even though many people already have complemented me on how great I look. That day, I couldn’t keep my mind of that “FAT” comment he made about me. I felt horrible but then I thought i shouldn’t let that bother me because I’ve been working so hard and I’ve put the best that i can and I’m not gonna stop just because of a stupid comment someone made about me.

    When i read these comments, I have learned that I’m not the only one who’s been hurt and trying hard everyday to reach those big goals that I have. Everyday you gotta fight to get there. There are many girls/women out there that are doing the same and remember you are not alone. My hard efforts, all the wonderful people out there trying hard, and the awesome compliments i get is what makes me feel stronger once again. It makes me wanna keep on working harder than ever before.

  194. Dear Cassey,

    I was so moved by your story; I almost started crying myself. I have been doing your creative and very challenging workouts for a couple of months now, and I have always admired your strength, your flexibility, and your super-positive attitude and encouragement. And even though I can’t always keep up with you, you inspire to me go further and to try harder next time. Thank you for sharing your story, and for motivating so many other women and men to become healthier and happier. You are using your gifts well.

  195. I don’t think it’s a matter of goodness or badness (whew! no red line under “badness”). But I do wonder what the stigma is.

  196. I became obese when I was a teenager because of my hyperprolactinemia. Kids would tell me I looked like my siblings mom (and they’re older than me) and ask me if I were pregnant. Then once I got my condition under control, the weight went away.
    Now my weight is back, along with my high prolactin, but still I can’t separate the medical condition from my own faults as far as activity and nutrition is concerned.

    Like you, I’m very hard on myself. I even tried starving myself, and burning more calories than I consumed, etc. Didn’t lose a pound. So now I’m just focusing on being healthy, as I know weight loss is not a good indicator (for me) of progress.

  197. Even if you were fat, that doesn’t make you a bad person. Just like being thin doesn’t make you a better person.
    What’s wrong with being fat?

  198. When I’m looking on you, I can’t imagin that you was fat.
    I’m 29, and since I remeber I was a little bigger like other girls. I don’t think that I was fat, actually, I think, I was (I’m) normal, but other thought that me was a little bit to much:).

    The culture of “be thin” have subversive influence on our minds. If you don’t have clothe in size 6 or 8 (UK sizes), then you’re fat. That’s ridiculous, but that’s true. And that’s a very big problem.

    I understand, that my body needs healthy food and some exercises to feel good. And thats the point – feeling good. Not starving, or jogging without breath, but doing things for body to feel good and be happy.

    Thank you for talking about such problems. That’s necessary. And thank you for being so good personal-virtual trainer :)
    Regards,
    Zane

  199. Thanks for sharing this story, Cassey! The word “fat” has become so much stronger than a simple word and carries so much hurt.

    I don’t think I’ve ever been called ‘fat,’ but I do recall a time in the 8th grade when an obnoxious boy told me I had a ‘ghetto booty’ – at 5’4 I weighed about 90 pounds soaking wet so I’m not sure what he was talking about, but it still stung and has made me forever paranoid about my bootay – writing that down makes me realize how very ridiculous I am being!

  200. Being called too skinny, stick or skeleton hurts just as much.

  201. C, I totally understand you. I had the same problem. Until age 11 I was a gymnastic athlete. I always did sports but when puberty came, I started to have hips and thighs and boobs and since I was so skinny all my childhood, I was happy I had curves until one day I went to the beach and my friends and cousins made fun of me because I wasn’t skinny any more. The worst was that my mom was in an amazing shape at that time (my family LOVES sports) and someone told me that I could only wish to be like my mother. My mom told me they were jerks and that I was beautiful the way I was but I became obsessed! No eating disorders because I love to eat but until my 20’s I didn’t like my body. Your videos changed my body and the way I see it.

    Thank you very much

  202. I really think this is only a problem in America (using the word “fat” I mean)

    To me, being described as “fat ” is like being described as “skinny” or “toned” or “not toned.” I have been told by strangers that I should lose weight (OK, so it was always by other Chinese people, even in America, and usually after a dance performance or something) and it does make me self-conscious but I don’t think “fat” is a bad word or should be “banned” or anything. Should “skinny” or “thin” or “twiggy” or “skinny fat” be banned? They’re just descriptions. I have too much fat on my stomach and inner thighs. I lack muscle definition (and muscle in general) and have a terribly hard time doing any POP Pilates videos because of it.

    I do feel bad about how bad my body looks, but not all the time. I have photos of myself on my blog, and most people would not describe me as “fat” but also not as “skinny”. I just am plain old out of shape :P Being called fat isn’t always a bad thing. I don’t think it should be made out to be some huge faux pas. It depends on the tone and intention of the person calling you fat.

    Sorry for such a long comment!

  203. Cassie, don’t botter that stupid girl!
    You’re amazing and such a great rolemodel for me!
    Years ago when I was on the primary school, some classmates also called me fat. It really really hurts and it keeps following me trough the rest of my life.
    Just remember that you’re a great person!

    Thanks for posting this sensitive post (:
    xoxo

  204. It does hurt. It’s horrible. Throughout middle school there were two boys who would comment on my size. They were the absolute bane of my existence. I had friends, I was involved in school activities, and i was getting good grades, but every time one of these boys would comment on my weight, it would chip away at my confidence and self-esteem. In addition, I was getting it from my mom at; she would call me a cow. Even my great aunt called home after seeing a photo of me to tell me that I was getting too heavy. Now, I should not have been putting on that weight, but I was never obese, just heavier than what anyone wanted me to be. I could still shop in the popular stores, but I had to get the biggest sizes. All of this has stuck with me, it followed me through high school and college. I am 25 now and I hate what I see. I lost 35 lbs (still going) and I still dislike looking in the mirror. At 5’5 and 139, I feel like I will never be happy with my body because my attitude is so entwined with the comments and the hurt that I experienced when I was younger. In the positive, POP pilates has been a driving force in my weight loss and I feel healthy. It’s never okay to call someone fat and one day I hope that I can let go of the complex, but for now I just push it to the back of my head.

  205. Your first sentence is so true!!!

    And I am genuinely impressed with your thoughts about this. Keep going, girl! :-)

  206. Cassey, that was a great post!!

    I was called fat a lot of times, one time even my sister said i was chubby just because i didn’t have the muscles that she had.
    It hurt every single time, even though my parents kept telling me I wasn’t fat. And you know what? I wasn’t. I was a little chubby, yes but I was definitely not fat and still: it hurt and since then I feel fat, no matter how much I weigh. But those comments really took me into a circle where I sometimes ate nothing and then ate a ton of chocolate, it got me frustrated and sad, even though i knew that really it didn’t matter what other people think.
    I am still working on truly feeling beautiful again, because my head is finally starting to understand what beautiful actually means and that other people’s opinion doesn’t matter at all!

    To answer your actual question: yes, yes it does hurt to be called fat! so much! But everyone just needs to find a way to accept that sometimes people are jealous of your pretty face or don’t like the way you look because you look different from their ideal picture and are mean to you because of that. It’s hard but it’s possible.
    The only important thing is that you are happy with yourself!

    Thank you again for bringing up such a ‘touchy’ topic. You are awsome!

  207. It does hurt. And you don’t forget it. I was very similar when I was younger – I wasn’t slender, and didn’t slim down until just before High School. I clearly remember every instance of the kids at the babysitter I went to call me ‘MooCow’ and other horrible names. Kids can be mean to other kids, even, and it’s hard to forget it (being so young and ‘impressionable’). I lost a lot of weight just before High School, but still worried I was too big – thankfully, I had some friends in high school that didn’t judge me that way, so I ended up being more comfortable with myself. More than I ever had been.

    I ended up gaining back the weight in college, though. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t have my father and brother making little comments every time they saw me about how I was ‘getting a bit thick’ and worse names. Way to motivate your only daughter/sister there, guys! It wasn’t in jest or ‘concern’, it was just flat out malicious. There is a difference between being concerned for someone’s health (we have a lot of health issues in our family concerning weight) and just attacking.

    I didn’t start working out until I had a good reason to. I didn’t want to work out just to make them stop their words (bullies will always find SOMETHING to pick on), I wanted it to be on my own terms. So, when I finally got comfortable and had massive improvements (loosing 20lbs the healthy way isn’t anything to sneeze at!), a friend I haven’t seen in years comes back and starts poking my stomach. “Wow, you really did gain weight! You weren’t lying!” … That was in the beginning of this year (after a dear family member’s passing, so I was quite vulnerable).

    WOW, I’m rambling. But the point is, it keeps cropping up over time and it doesn’t make it hurt any less each time. The only thing we can really do is to keep moving on after the pain. It doesn’t have to affect your self-esteem or your exercise routines, but it honestly does (emotions – so illogical! ;) ). The best thing one can really do is remember why they started on a healthier path and keep reminding themselves it’s a personal reason, forgot the haters, and pick it back up after the ‘break’ … for ice cream (not the whole thing, just a bowl, but still).

  208. Oh Cassey, I’m so very sorry to hear that. All I can do is to agree with you. Nobody should be called “fat”, and most of all, what is that supposed to mean?! That we’re less valuable if we’re not thin? Why is body image so important in this stupid world, a world that has far greater problems to tackle than how a handful of people look?? Millions out there are hungry, facing starvation every f***ing day. Isn’t THAT something we should tackle, instead of insulting each other over something that stupid?

    I was never that aware of how my body looked. How I felt was more important. So when a distant relative at a family holiday greated me with “You’ve put on weight” one Christmas, I was triggered to say “You didn’t, you’ve had it on you for ages.”. Bridget Jones, anyone? I demand my Mark Darcy.

    I wish that this was a world where looks weren’t something that counted so much, got talked about so much, and therefore wasn’t that important. I’m getting called too skinny by some people, too fat by others. What am I supposed to do in that situation? Exactly. We can never make it right. Today’s beauty ideals do not come from real people, they are made by photoshop, and I can’t even say that I think them to be beautiful. The people I think to be beautiful would never stand a fashion shoot according to the industry’s standards. INDUSTRY STANDARDS. Like a piece of metal, bent and stretched into shape. We’re human beings, not things. Not even animals are supposed to be treated the way we treat each other. A beautiful person shines, and they do so because their hearts are beautiful, regardless of what their bodies look like. It radiates from inside out, and you can feel it immediately when you meet them or talk to them. THAT is the beauty I’m addicted to. Dedicated, lovely, strong, or simply nice people. People with an opinion, with a character, if you like them or not. People who think about others. People who think about making the world a better place, or simply do so, even if it’s just in little actions.

    I started workouts because my ADHD-like seizures got better that way, and I needed something to balance-out the stress university put on me, which worked to some extent. I do workouts because I like the way I feel during and after and a long way after a workout. I do workouts because it’s something I can talk about with others online, and because your workouts, Cassie, are among the few that are real fun.
    I’ll do a **** and spoil this little thing that is still some fun, some stability for me in the exhaustion that life means for me at the moment, with stressing about how I look.

    Here’s a rather astonishing story that happened to me this summer.
    It had been a lo~ng, hard day, I was on the verge of graduating, facing exams, and had been at a conference from early morning on, not to mention presentations coming up, meetings, business. I had jogged through town just to make it to another appointment, I was sweaty, tired, and after that day I won’t say what my hair and make-up looked like, haha. After that last appointment was done, I was just relieved, despite a major headache, that I could finally swaddle home.
    There were three guys sitting between the fountains of the main shopping boulevard, and all of a sudden they started smiling and flirting with me. Me, in my old trainers and baggy jeans, sweaty shirt and big bag, fussy hair, earplugs in. Relaxed that I was, I grinned and said hello, and I felt their smiles in my back as I went home. People in that area usually aren’t that open, and the guys were probably tourists. There were tons of more beautiful, more thin, waaay better styled girls there, in that crowd, but they picked me, the business jogger, haha.
    Thinking back to that is like a clap on the back, and a reminder that it’s just not about stupid beauty ideals. It’s about the way we feel, and not to take ourselves, especially our looks, as something that important. Those guys probably flirted with a dozen other girls that day, too, and for a change that doesn’t feel like the typical meat market to me, but as a nice way to say “you’re great just the way you are”.
    That’s all that counts, right? To be happy, just the way we are.

    Wow, sorry for the babbles. ^^;

    P.S.: I developed a hate for the word “fat” pretty early on, and stopped using it almost completely, even about one of my guinea pigs (who, as I have to say in her defense, is probably also heavier because she has more muscles – she likes training ^.~). It’s not a particularly useful word. I prefer to learn more useful words from this site:
    https://twitter.com/#!/dailyvocab

  209. Kajsa Österling says:

    Yes, I’ve been called fat… And I felt so bad, really embarrassed and worthless. It was my little baby cousin that said it. He was 4 years old. I was 14, so not so long ago. I had a cute dress on, and a hoodie over it, because it was cold out. I remember him just looking up and just saying: “You are fat”. OMG. I thought, and then he said it once more later on. But I weren’t mad at him, he was four, but so honest. I thought.
    Since, I have slimmed down and I started to research about fitness, working out and being happy in life :)
    It was terrible! And I’ve always been chubby…

    I love that you share your stories Cassey, be strong!
    Love u <3

  210. When I was eleven me and my best friend was walking down the aisle of the school going to class. I was normal height and tiny. She turned to me and said “You´re not the skinniest in the class anymore. X is. She is number 1 one-watch out”.
    That is where my ED started. At eleven years old. Now I am soon turning 26 and I am not doing anything to my self anymore (binging, starvin etc…) But to think that one comment like that destroyed almost 15 years of my life hurts so much. Now I am healty at 118 to my 5´5 and very strong and well-trained, and through my husband who is a chef I now enjoy food.
    But the way some people are so uncotuius about cometing on your body sometimes make afriad of that “you look thinner” or “you put on?”. People have to start to keep their business to themself at times, but if they see you are struggeling try to help.
    I know from having an ED is like being a recovering alcoholic and I have to live with it every day and fight if off.

    Now- if I get a comment like that I get down but then I look at my wedding pictures-the day of my life where I felt like the mots beautiful girl in the world, and remember that I felt beautiful that day not only because of my body but because my beauty that day came from the inside and from pure happiness.

  211. I hate it when someone tells me I’m fat. I am not fat, nor am I skinny. I have wide hips and broad shoulders and I’m only 5 feet so any weight gain is obvious. I come from a Japanese family and I am part of the only American-raised child, so my body looks different because I was raised on different food from my relatives.

    Everytime I go and visit my relatives my grandparents, cousins and aunts constantly make comments on how fat I am. I’ve been getting this treatment from them since I was a child so my own self image is not awesome. In the last few years, I started jogging and doing pilates and building up my self confidence on my own. It sucks though, because it is shattered so easily, everytime I hear the “You’re SO FAT” comment.

    I don’t think it is something I will ever get over- the pain of being called fat when I know I’m not really hurts. I’ve aimed toward being more healthy and incorporating exercise into my daily routine. I also try not to eat my feelings.

    Thank you for sharing your story – you are truly an inspiration and I hope one day that I can be as confident and positive as you.

  212. Abi Woodard says:

    I’ve never actually been called fat to my knowledge. Although this past spring when I came home from living out of state a couple days after I got home my mother blurted out ‘Oh my god when did you put on so much weight?!’ She then proceeded to tell me that she had to bite her tongue when she hugged when I first arrived because she said it did not feel like she was hugging me. I have to say on the one hand it did sting but the only sting it held was the sting of truth I had put on weight that I was unhappy with I just hoped no one else had really noticed as well as telling myself it was really not that bad. However after my mom said that I began to seriously and literally work my ass off. I ended up taking off all the weight and more and got to the size I was when I first moved out of state. People might think what my mom said sounded mean but I could not be more thankful to her. We have always had a very honest relationship and when she was so brutally honest with me it forced me to be brutally honest with myself and get to a point where I am actually comfortable with myself again.

  213. I think when people have nothing to attack somebody, the fat talk begins. It’s the lowest point of a mental warfare as all of us always feel we need to lose a pound or two.

    I recently moved to Vietnam and got myself in the fat talk but in a very different way. I could not find clothes and shoes that fit me and I’m a size 8 in U.S (for both clothes and shoes.) One of my cousins even commented that I wear big size and that got on my nerves. I almost wanted to tell her to take a good look at herself as she is not the prime example of a fit person, either.

    I’ve learned to let go of all these attacks based on my weight. As long as I make a conscious decision to wake up and exercise everyday, it does not matter what people think of me. I have my own imperfections but at least I’m working on improving them.

  214. “I was 11 years old at the time and chubby. In my yearbook pictures, I had a double chin when I smiled. It was hard to find jeans that fit me. But none of it had even bothered me up until that point. I didn’t even know I was fat. I was active, happy, doing well in school, and had friends. That was all that mattered. But from that point on, I became self conscious. I lost confidence. Body image then became something I was constantly aware of.”
    OMG It’s like i’m reading something i wrote myself! I didn’t know i was fat until i was told either. In fact it was people going out of their way to tell me that I WASN’T fat that made me realise I was fat. “Don’t listen to girls at school – there’s going to be some bitchy girls but you’re not fat, it’s just puppy fat, you will elongate”
    Wait, what, I’M FAT?! Looking back, I was very fat and out of proportion but like you, I grew into it. Slash my mum started taking me to horse riding. Now I know it was her sly plan to make me less fat. She always used to tell me about how good exercise horse riding was ;)

  215. I’ve been called such until now but I just shoo it away from my head cuz I know that even if I’m really fat (at the moment!) I know I’m doing my best to get fit & healthy. Plus I know that if a person is inside out fit, that person wouldn’t say fat cuz I believe that people who train/fit are people who know what real beauty is. Chances are that person who called you fat can’t even do 50 squats or even a wheel pose! Trust me, it’s 99% certain that that person ain’t healthy! Just sayin’ :)

    & cassey, you look amazing. I’m serious :)

  216. I’ve been called fat before, and like you I am lucky to have leaned out quite a bit. Of course, some (insane) people call me ‘fat’ occasionally because I am athletic and not ‘bony’ thin. But I think what helped me is that being ‘fat’ before made me focus on other things, so I am not that upset when someone says I am fat. Chances are, they’re just insecure around you.

    So I think the word ‘fat’ shouldnt be banned, because it toughens you up. It really taught me to be a kinder and more developed person than I would have been if I had looked like I do now my whole life.

  217. I know how you feel! I was called it all the way through school then developed bulimia as a result. There was other things going on in my life that also had an influence. But I’m the back of my mind i always told myself this is for anyone who ever called me fat. I will prove them wrong! I don’t purge anymore, healthy lifestyle has sort of taken over. If I eat too much I exercise more instead. However it still effects me to this day an that was 8 years ago! You will always have that voice in the back of your head. But ignore it cassey! You’re amazing! And your YouTube vids have really helped me!

Trackbacks

  1. […] not the “naturally skinny” type. I know my body. I was a chubby kid. You can read the story here that still haunts me sometimes. I cannot eat a hamburger with fries a few times a week and get away […]

  2. […] take this very personal, and it could end badly if for some reason a person takes it seriously. Blogilates has a great blog on what it felt like for her. I have a lot of friends who were bullied, not […]

  3. […] women worry about their weight and what people think of them. Women may ask the over used phrase, “does this make me look fat?” Self-conscious is a […]

  4. […] Being Called FAT. It hurts. And you don’t forget. | BlogilatesDec 21, 2011 … Growing up in middle school and high school I was always a “chubby” girl. I had no idea about health, fitness, or how to treat my body. I ate fast … « Computer technician […]

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